I had tried to shove that voice aside all week. I tried to shove away all thoughts of Cade, all week. I didn’t want to think about him. I didn’t want him to haunt me again. I was supposed to be over him, supposed to be moving on.
Besides, I was sure that he’d already moved on. He must be back in D.C. by now, with all the other movers and shakers, doing his thing. Whatever his “thing” might be now that he had stood up to his parents. I hoped that he would stand up to them about his career now that his marriage had been called off. I wanted him to get out of my head and out of my heart, but that didn’t mean that I wanted him to be miserable.
Once upon a time, I had wanted that. Back when I’d been young and angry, nursing my broken heart, with a baby on the way. I had wanted him to suffer. But he had been just a kid back then, the same as me. While I couldn’t forgive him for it, I didn’t want him to suffer for the rest of his life because of it.
Caitlyn stopped by the house with a big smile on her face. “Hey! You still moping?”
I let her in and rolled my eyes. “I’m not moping.”
“Look, I get it. You lost out on a really amazing opportunity. You have every reason to be upset about it,” she said, waltzing into the house. “But you can’t let it keep you down for too long. There will be other opportunities. And from what you’ve told me, I think you impressed these people even if the wedding was called off. I’m sure they’ll recommend you to others.”
I had to admit that the cancellation was a problem for my business. Well, not a problem as much as a…disappointment. But I almost didn’t feel it. I couldn’t concentrate on it. All my thoughts were focused on Cade, no matter how much I tried to avoid him. In bed at night, I dreamed of his hands on my body, his cock inside of me, his warm words and hot kisses.
Not that I could let Caitlyn know that. Cade was gone and I had to get over him. I had to move on with my life, finally. I’d had that final, sweet taste of him and now I could go on about my life. Right?
“Thanks, hon,” I said because I knew that Caitlyn was only trying to help, and she certainly didn’t know the truth. Therefore, she couldn’t know the reason why I was so…mopey.
Not that I was moping. That would mean that I was pining after Cade, which I wasn’t. I was better than that. I was moving on from him.
If I told myself this enough number of times it would become true, right?
“I have an idea,” Caitlyn said. “Where’s Drew? I think we should go to the park. The weather’s perfect for it. Unless he has homework.”
“No, no, he’s good. A park sounds great, actually.” Fresh air and sunshine, playing with my son…it would take my mind off of Cade.
“Park?” Drew ran in, hearing the tail end of my sentence, his arms sticking straight out to the sides as he tilted this way and that, imitating an airplane. “Can we go outside?”
I laughed. “We certainly can. How about we go to the lake? The breeze on the lakefront will be nice on this warm day.”
Caitlyn waved her ever-present camera. “You know I’m always up for some nature.”
I got Drew ready—put some sunblock on him and packed a snack for all of us before we headed out. I was really looking forward to this. It was going to be nice—my best friend and my son—this little family that I’d made for myself. I didn’t need a man. I didn’t need Cade.
My chest felt hollow anyway.
I drove the way to the lake on autopilot, and so it wasn’t until I was making the turn into the parking lot that I realized where we were—Abbot Park.
Crap. Well, it was too late now. Turning around and finding a different park would raise questions from Drew and Caitlyn. But honestly, why would I not want to go here? Just because of some decade-old memories? It was fine. Maybe being here would help me in my quest to get over Cade, making new memories in this place and reminding myself that being with him wasn’t as amazing as I was building it up to be in my head.
I parked the car and Drew flew out of the car and ran straight for the playground.
“Mama! Mama! Push me on the swing!”
I laughed. How could I not? My son was adorable. And honestly, I was a little envious of my son. His life was so simple. He had his mother, and he could always depend on her. He had the park, play time, school and his friends. Every big decision was made for him, no broken heart or wondering if he’d made the right choice in his life or his relationships.
Caitlyn and I walked behind Drew at a slower pace and found a bench to set down my purse and her camera bag. “I guess I’d better push him on the swings,” I said with a laugh, walking over to join my son.
Drew eagerly clambered up onto the swing, legs dangling in the air, as I got behind him. “You ready?”
“Yes!” he nodded eagerly.
“Then off we go!” I gave him a big push to start him off.
I could hear the occasional click of the camera shutter as Caitlyn took pictures of me pushing Drew on the swing. He laughed with delight, and I found myself smiling as I pushed him. When I was with my son, every other care in the world just fell away.
He was heavy, though, no longer a small two-year-old, and after a bit, I had to take a break. “I’m going to walk down to the lake, okay? Why don’t you take a break from the swings for a little while?”
“I’ll watch him,” Caitlyn said, taking more photos as Drew ran off to the slides.
I nodded and walked on down to the lakefront. It was a beautiful day, truly. The sunlight glinted off the water and here, away from the kids and families that were about, it was peaceful. I couldn’t see or hear Drew from here, so I was glad that Caitlyn was there to watch him.
Cade and I had kissed here not too long ago. I shouldn’t have done it, but I had been powerless against his handsomeness, his smile, the earnest way in which he spoke to me and looked at me. I knew that it couldn’t be true, that he had abandoned me all those years ago without a backwards glance, but he spoke about me as if he had been thinking about me this whole time. As if I was a lost love.
How was I supposed to stand strong against that? How could I resist him?
At least now he was far away, in D.C., and he couldn’t tempt me anymore, couldn’t confuse me and sweep me off my feet anymore.
As if I had summoned him by the power of my thoughts, I heard his voice. “Laura.”
I jumped and turned to see Cade striding towards me.
No. No, what was he doing here? How could he be here? My thoughts flew to Drew, who was not too far away. What if he ran down here to join me? There was no way that Cade could see him and know about him. My desire to protect my son was the most important thing.
Cade walked right up to me, standing insanely close. “What are you doing here? I’m—surprised that you’re still in town.”
I wanted to take a step back, but I was trembling, frozen. I couldn’t seem to make myself move even as my fingers shook.
“I wasn’t ready to go back to D.C. I have unfinished business here,” Cade’s eyes bore into mine. “I was hoping that I would find you here.”
“What? Why? What’s your unfinished business?”
Cade gave me a warm and fond look, as if I should already know the answer to that. “You,” he said, and then he was kissing me.
It was a kiss of pure fire and passion, a kiss that took no prisoners, and for a moment I was completely swept up in it. I kissed him back, melting into his touch as he held me tightly, kissing me like it was the end of the world.
And then I remembered—Drew!
I couldn’t let Cade know about Drew. I had to get him out of here, away. I yanked myself off of Cade, stumbling a little. “We shouldn’t be doing this!”
Cade frowned, clearly confused. “Why not? I’m no longer engaged. Unless…” Dark jealousy flashed in his eyes. “unless there’s someone else?”
“What? No! I never would’ve slept with you if I was seeing someone else! What kind of person do you take me for?”
Cade put his hands up in a p
lacating gesture. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think that you would, but what else am I supposed to think? What other possible reason could you have for being so…hesitant about us? You want me, I know you do, just like I want you. What’s stopping us?”
“We’ve been down this road before,” I pointed out, folding my arms. “Ten years ago. What’s changed now? Why should I trust you? You still have a whole other life that you’re eventually going to go back to. You’ll leave me just like you did the last time, and I’m not going to get hurt again.”
Cade swallowed and I saw shame flit across his face. “I’m sorry for hurting you back then. I’ve regretted it for the past ten years. I swear. But this time is different. And if you give me a chance, I’ll show you how.”
I had to get rid of him. Drew could run up to me at any moment. But Cade wasn’t going to back down easily. He never backed down easily from anything. For better or for worse. “How could you possibly prove to me that it’s different now?”
“Let me take you out,” Cade said. “We had a good time the other night. I’d like to do that again. I’d like to treat you the way that I couldn’t before, when we had to hide our relationship from the world. Let me show you how serious I’m taking things this time.”
“Fine,” I blurted out. Sure, I would have to go on a date with him, but it would get him out of this park and away from Drew. “I’ll go out with you once. One time. One date. All right?”
Cade grinned. “Great. I’ll pick you up tonight.”
“What if I have plans tonight?” I didn’t, but I wasn’t about to let him steamroll me.
“Then pick another night. I’m free and I’m all yours.”
Oh, how those words made my heart flip over! I had to struggle to keep myself from smiling and blushing like an idiot, like I was in high school. Don’t let yourself get swept away, I reminded myself sternly.
“No, tonight works fine.” Best to get it over with as soon as possible. “I just wanted to make sure that you were serious.”
“I am,” Cade replied. “And I’ll do whatever it takes for you to understand that.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say.
“So, what time should I pick you up?” Cade asked. Oh no! He couldn’t come to my house. He couldn’t know about Drew.
“I’ll meet you there,” I said. “Tell me where and when and I’ll be there.”
“Okay.” Cade nodded. “La Piazza, six o’clock.”
That wasn’t too late. That was a good thing. I could get home without being away from Drew for too long. “Okay. Sounds good to me. I’m going to continue my walk, but I’ll see you later.”
Cade pulled me into his arms before I could move and kissed me again, much more gently this time, soft, like a lover. “I’ll see you then.”
He sounded so happy and hopeful, but also confident and assured, like he knew that this was going to work out in his favor. I wished that I had his confidence. I was sure he couldn’t imagine a reason as to why we shouldn’t be together—if only he knew just how much he’d hurt me and the damage he’d done, and the person I was trying to protect.
Cade left, exiting just as quickly as he’d swooped in, and I collapsed against a tree, my heart pounding. My head was a complete scramble. I was torn between my fear for Drew and my desire to see Cade again. To be given this second chance with him. Once, it would’ve been everything that I’d ever wanted.
Now, I had no idea what to do. My heart was torn in two.
19
Cade
I was ready to sweep Laura off her feet.
The last times I’d done the whole romantic dinner date at a restaurant, I had been going out with Della and it had all been for show. Occasionally, going out on a public date would keep the press and our parents happy, but we would talk about things such as political strategy.
But now, I was planning a date that I actually cared about. I was planning a date where I cared about the person and the outcome.
La Piazza, the restaurant that I’d chosen, was renowned for its intimate, candlelit dining. There was a live violinist and the menu featured Italian seafood dishes, such as oysters as an appetizer, to put couples right in the mood of a romantic meal.
I couldn’t wait to have a proper date with Laura. It was going to be fantastic. Finally, I could spoil her and show her off the way that I’d always wanted to when we’d been dating. Of course, back then I’d been only eighteen and I would’ve done things like take her to the county fair to win her a stuffed bear or the mall to buy whatever outfit she wanted.
We wouldn’t have had to sneak around, and now we certainly didn’t have to do that. I could make up for it much better than I could have when I was younger. Not only did I have more money at my disposal now, but I had the maturity and experience to know how to really show a woman a good time.
I was going to really sweep Laura off her feet, damn it.
I got to the restaurant early to make sure that our table was ready and waited at the hostess’ desk for Laura to arrive. When she stepped inside—my heart stopped for a second.
She was stunning.
I clenched my jaw to stop it from hitting the floor.
Laura had decided to go all out, it seemed, and I was tempted to cancel the reservation, drag her to the car, and fuck her right this damn minute. She wore a dark blue dress that brought out the color in her eyes and complemented her dark auburn hair, which she’d left flowing and free around her shoulders. My mouth watered.
“You look stunning,” I told her. “Absolutely beautiful.”
Laura blushed. “Thank you. I…um, I have to be at a lot of the, well most of the, events that I help to plan so I have a few nice dresses ready for an occasion.”
“Oh? You don’t go out in this just to devastate all the men around you?”
Laura shook her head, smiling ruefully. “I really don’t go out much.”
Including dates? I wanted to ask her, but I didn’t want to overstep. I wanted to woo her properly.
“Our table’s ready,” I told her, smiling and holding out my arm to her.
Laura took my arm and thanked the hostess as we were led into the restaurant and seated at a lovely little table off to the side. Candles were lit on tall stands around the table so that they wouldn’t have to be on the table, blocking our view of each other.
I pulled Laura’s chair out to help her get seated and she blushed again. It gave me such a thrill in my chest to know that I was able to make her blush so easily, that I was impressing her with my behavior. I wanted her to be impressed with me, not with my wealth or connections, the way so many other people were, but with how I had matured and changed. I wanted her to see that I was finally ready to commit to our relationship and to her. Nothing would get in the way of us being together, not if I had any say in the matter.
I sat down and we ordered. Or, well, I ordered. Laura seemed nervous and when I asked her what she wanted she simply asked me to pick whatever appetizers I thought we would enjoy.
Usually, Laura always had an opinion, and that included her food. She was never demure. The opposite of Della, honestly. She must be really nervous if she didn’t have an opinion, especially about what she wanted to eat.
“I’ll be honest,” I whispered to her conspiratorially after we’d ordered, “I have no idea why people say oysters are sexy. You have to swallow the whole thing, so I always worry that people are going to choke on them.”
Laura stifled a laugh, looking around to see if any of the servers might overhear us.
Our sommelier brought us the wine and poured for us. I raised a glass, “I’d like to propose a small toast. To second chances.”
Laura smiled at me, but there was something nervous in her face that continued to worry me. “To second chances,” she echoed.
We clinked our glasses and savored our wine. Laura finished her sip and then set her glass down. “I know you say, ‘to second chances’, but…what do you mean by that?”
“You want
to know my intentions?”
Laura nodded.
That was perfectly understandable. “I want a second chance with you. I know I screwed up our first time, and I can that I was young back then, that I didn’t know what I was doing. But it doesn’t change the fact that I hurt you. I’d like to move past that, if we can. Because the truth is, I’ve never met another girl like you.”
Laura blushed. “Come on, Cade, I’ve seen Della. I’m sure there are dozens of women as sophisticated and lovely as she is. And you could have them. You don’t need to flatter me.”
“I’m not flattering you,” I assured her, my voice quiet but firm. I wanted her to know how serious I was. “I’ve never forgotten you. I’ve never dated anyone seriously because they could never measure up to you. Della and I knew from our first date what we were doing—that we weren’t doing this because we had any feelings for each other but because our parents had expectations from us, and it was easier to just…go with it.”
I reached across the table and took her hand. “Laura. You’re smart, confident, funny, and sexy as hell.”
Laura blushed again and squeezed my hand. “Thank you.”
Then she slid her hand from mine. “Even though I appreciate your compliments—and I do, really Cade—it doesn’t change the facts of our life. Your life is in D.C. and I’m not going to give up my business to relocate to a new city. I’ve built a good life here and a sizeable clientele. To uproot everything and move to a new city, I’d have to start over. I’d have to build connections with suppliers, caterers and venue owners. I’d have to sell my house and my office and find someplace new. And I couldn’t ask you to uproot your life and move back here either.
“And what if it doesn’t work out? We can’t move in together right away. That wouldn’t be smart. I don’t want to rush into anything. But a long-distance relationship is hard, and I can’t ask for that. Besides…” Laura took a deep breath, “I should be honest and tell you that I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I’m looking to build my business. That’s my main focus.”
The One and Only: A Single Mom Second Chance Romance (Heart of Hope) Page 13