by Misty Simon
I sat shocked for a second. Is that what they had done after I’d witnessed the kiss from heaven? Had Bella fixed their hair? Or was it some freaky happening where they got back together and then all of a sudden the hair was good? Would my hair freak out if I ever broke up with Ben? Oy! I wasn’t even going to think about that. I had no intention of breaking up with Ben, no matter how much of a house-hogger he’d become. I was just happy to see Bella and Jared happily together. Maybe now we could get things rolling, and I wouldn’t have to sneak behind anyone’s back anymore.
“Hi,” I said—completely inane and ridiculous, but they were both staring at me with such goofy smiles on their faces I didn’t know what else to say.
Jared came forward into the living room, pulling Bella along with him. She seemed to float a few inches off the ground. Once he sat down, he pulled her into his lap. She snuggled down into his arms. It did my heart good to see the smile light up her face.
I didn’t want to break up this cozy little scene, but I had to ask. “Weren’t you called in for something to do with the frame stealing? Shouldn’t you be going?”
Bella narrowed her eyes at me, but I didn’t want Jared to get into trouble now that things had righted themselves in his love life. How much would that suck?
“Ivy’s right,” Jared said, petting Bella’s back—to get her to stop snarling, I suppose. He stood, lifting her to her feet with him. “I had to see you, but I have to do my job, too. I’ll meet you back here tonight.” He lifted the hair by her ear and whispered something I was sure I didn’t want to hear. Then he patted her butt, gave her one last, long kiss, and headed for the front door, a bounce in his step like I hadn’t seen in ages.
“So I take it you’re getting some when he’s done with work tonight?” I asked, sitting back on the couch. My lips were spread wide in a big smile that nearly cracked my face.
Bella had a matching smile on her own face. “You know it. I am so going to rock his world. Let’s go to the shop and pick something out to make him drool.”
Forty minutes later, Bella had nearly bought out the store in her size. She had one of everything, several in a variety of colors. Not that I was going to turn her money away, but even I thought this was excess.
“I’m so happy. It makes me feel good to use all the old biddies’ money for something naughty. They paid to have their hair done, all the while frolicking in my misery. Well, now their money can pay for my pleasure.”
It was a fine philosophy by me, and as I said earlier, I wasn’t arguing.
“I’ll take one of these, too,” she said, holding up a belly dancer costume in deep purple. The dim light in the Shoppe sparkled off the sequins holding the spare pieces of material together.
I bagged it, waving Bella into a dressing room with another handful of costumes and wondering how long it was going to be before a patrol car stopped outside my front door. As before, they’d ask why I was open at nine in the evening when most of the stores here rolled up their sidewalks no later than six. Depending on who came to check on me, I might not have to defend myself at all, but things never happened that way for me.
And that’s why when a knock sounded on the door five minutes later I opened it without checking to see who stood on the other side of the drawn curtains over the front glass window.
And that’s how I got conked on the head again and saw my world fade to black.
****
I came to with someone right in my face who had severe garlic breath. A hand tugged my arm while another hand vigorously shook my leg. When I tried to crack open my eyes, my head gave a terrible shudder. The pain wasn’t worth the effort, so I only breathed in and out of my mouth, hoping the garlic person would back off soon before I lost consciousness again.
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. The bad breath came closer, wafting into my mouth. I had the horrible feeling this person was going to give me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, which I would not survive.
I sat up so fast I knocked Garlic Person right in the nose. A bright bloom of blood shot out before a hand flew up to cover the injury. I’d just nearly incapacitated Detective James. Good work there, Ivy.
I scooted backward as the detective howled, grabbed a handkerchief (eww! I hoped he washed that frequently and never offered it to anyone) out of his front jacket pocket, then jammed it up against his nose. The fabric turned crimson almost immediately. Someone murmured for him to tip his head, but the conversation was lost to me when I looked up and found Ben smiling at me from next to my leg. He was the vigorous jiggler while Bella dug her fingers into my arm.
“What happened?” I asked, my voice coming out as a croak. I cleared my throat before trying again. “What the hell just happened here?”
A huge babble of voices burst over my head. They ping-ponged inside my poor skull, ringing like a hammer on an anvil. I was about to puke but didn’t want to do it in front of everyone. So I shoved myself up from the floor and made a beeline to the bathroom with a trail of people behind me. They could wait outside, I thought as I closed the door. But Bella had snuck in around me. She leaned back against the sink with her ankles crossed.
There was barely enough room for me to get on my knees in front of the toilet. I decided not to throw up after all, since I didn’t want it to go all over the room. I’d be the one cleaning it up. And I found, now that I was standing, it wasn’t nearly as bad. I swallowed a couple of times, making every attempt to compose myself. When tears started leaking out of my eyes, I figured I hadn’t quite managed it.
“Are you okay in there?” Ben’s voice, along with the sound of his fist banging, came loud and clear through the wood.
“I’m fine. I’m fine! Go away! I’ll be out in a minute.” I breathed shallowly, praying he would listen this once.
Miracle of miracles, it worked. I heard his shuffling step move away from the door, then laid my head against the slightly warm wood.
Apparently Bella felt she had given me enough time to work things out, because she cleared her throat with a little hmm, hmm noise and tapped my back.
“Are you ready to answer my question?” I asked, peering at her from bleary eyes. I thought I had taken quite a knock on the head, because I suffered from disorientation, and my stomach still rolled along merrily.
“Yeah.” The smile completely vanished as she ran a hand through the ends of her still perfect hair.
How on earth did she do that? I looked like death warmed over when I chanced a glance in the mirror in front of me. My lightly highlighted brown hair was all over the place, half in my face and half sticking straight up. What little makeup I had put on this morning was sagging under my eyes. I had a long scratch along the left side of my face. Simply put, I was a mess.
“Well?” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
Still leaning against the sink, Bella appeared to check her manicure, but I had a feeling she was stalling, yet not doing a very good job of it.
“Come on. I was attacked, or something, wasn’t I? I remember something thwacking my head, then terrible garlic breath fanning my face. But nothing in between.”
Bella opened her mouth, but my cell phone rang at the exact same time, James Brown’s singing drowning out whatever she had been prepared to say.
When I glanced at the caller window, I groaned. This was the last thing I needed right now. But if I didn’t answer he would continue to call back, again and again, until I talked to him.
“Yes, Dad?”
“Hey, honey! I just wanted to let you know we’re in…” He trailed off. I could hear Martha muttering in the background. “Yeah, we’re in Chicago. Got caught on the road in some traffic, had a bad time there for a little while, but with this nifty RV Martha was able to make us some coffee and lunch. I think I might get one of these things myself. I bet I have enough money I could buy one outright.”
Beyond the fact that I was completely unaware of my dad’s bank account being so big, I couldn’t care less what he was going to buy when
he came home. I had more urgent things to worry about right here in front of me. Bella rolled her eyes while I did the same. I wished he would get to the point. Of course, I regretted the thought instantly.
“So how’s the investigation going? Need any help? You could lay the details out for me at this juncture, and I could assist you. I know I’m not there, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be of assistance. A second brain on the dilemma, if you will.”
But I knew I wouldn’t. The last thing I wanted to do was tell Stan I had no clear idea of what was going on. It would make him feel they ought to be here right now helping or I’d never solve it without him. I cleared my throat. “I’ve got it under control, Dad.”
Bella made a gagging noise, then slapped a hand over her mouth.
I shot her a venomous look as I slashed my hand across my throat.
“Then why haven’t I heard you caught the perpetrator who’s now languishing in jail? No Pointers have called Martha to tell her you solved it all.” The disbelief in his voice was palpable. Even though it was completely unwarranted, I still got my back up.
I contemplated outright lying, but settled for some half-truths. “You haven’t heard anything, yet, because I need to verify some pertinent facts and ensure I have the correct perp before I point my accusatory finger.” Hey, if he could use big words and over-exaggerated language then so could I.
“In other words, you have no idea who did it and not a clue how to figure it out.”
I sputtered. I gasped. I mumbled a few choice words. But in the end, I had to admit I didn’t know squat other than the few suppositions Detective Bartley had given me. Speaking of which, I never did find out what Ben had found in the second bedroom at Trev’s, the stuff that looked like a bunch of random numbers to me but had lit a fire in his belly. I added it my list of things I didn’t understand—the list that I could probably wrap around this biggie-sized body at least three times, it was that long. Seriously.
“We’re coming home right now. If we hit another snag, I’ll merely find a back road to get us around it.”
I groaned, then smothered a laugh as I heard an answering groan on the other end of the line.
“Don’t groan at me, Mrs. Morris.” The high offense in his voice warned me I might have crossed the line this time.
I started to protest, but then let the words run through my mind again before I realized he was talking to Martha. This was further confirmed when his voice dropped away from the receiver, and I heard them bickering. I quietly clapped the phone back together, snickering out loud. Let her take care of him; it wasn’t my issue anymore.
But my issue was sitting right in front of me, staring out from behind a fringe of tinted bangs, probably waiting to hear my brilliant plan. If only I had a brilliant plan. Not that I normally did, but it sure would have been a nice change.
I settled for taking up my conversation with Bella as if there hadn’t been an interruption. “So what happened to me? And why do I feel like my head is going to split?”
“That could be because you just got done with what sounded like a very typical conversation with your father. You often have a headache after one of those.”
“Nope, not going to work. Tell me.” Why was she trying so hard to wiggle out of finally letting me know what had happened? It couldn’t be too bad, unless she’d hit me herself. She wouldn’t have done that…would she?
Bella continued to hesitate, wringing her hands.
“What?” I said a tad impatiently, I’ll admit.
“Well…”
“Would you spit it out? It can’t be as bad as what I’m thinking right now. I guarantee you.” I glowered at her, willing her to tell me so we could end this torture.
“Well, when you opened the door I was right behind you. I, um, saw who was on the other side. I aimed a punch for his nose, but…” Here she trailed off again while her face flamed bright red.
I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen Bella flushed. I’d just moved to the first finger on the second hand when what she said finally penetrated my poor brain. “You hit me? You hit me? You hit me?”
“It’s a three-word sentence, Ivy. You don’t have to say it with different emphasis every time.” Looking affronted, she stuck her hands on her hips. Well, I had another one for her.
“You hit me!”
“Yeah, ’cause putting the emphasis on the whole sentence makes it so much different. And I’m sorry I hit you, but Jackson was at the door with a bat in his hands. Once I hit you and you fell down, I aimed better the next time and knocked him out cold. Then I called the police. They took him away in the plastic handcuffs I stole off the wall up front.”
“You’re paying for those,” I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head.
She snickered, and I couldn’t help but do the same. It was kind of funny if you looked at it the right way. And I was trying really hard to look at it the right way.
Chapter Sixteen
My sense of the absurd was tested yet again when another knock on the front door made me jump. Everyone else had left ten minutes ago to process Jackson. Bella and I looked at each other, then at the door. I knew I didn’t really want to take the chance someone else was at the door who wanted to take a whack at me.
Bella looked back at me again, then jerked her head toward the door.
“Oh, no. I think I’m going to make you answer the door this time. That way I’m not in any danger of getting hit and knocked out again.”
I got a mutinous expression for my words, but I wasn’t budging. I stood with my hands braced on my rounded hips, fully prepared to have a stare-down if that’s what it took.
She broke way before I had anticipated. An odd sense of deflation hit me low in the stomach, but I wasn’t going to complain out loud.
She crept to the front door, where the curtain still hung over the glass. She, at least, was smart enough to flick the curtain out of the way before opening the door. But when she opened it, I groaned. This was a close second to the last thing I needed. The only visitor who could have topped it would have been my father beaming at me from under the porch light outside.
No, instead it was Charlie in his probably stolen shirt. He didn’t have a smile on his face now, which made me trust him a little bit more. If he’d come in all smiles and grins, I thought I probably would have smacked the look right off his face.
“What?” I said flatly, folding my hands at my waist. There was no real reason why he should be here at this time of night.
His face fell even farther away from his normal smile. His lips turned into what I would have called a pout. But in the blink of an eye the look was gone. In its place was concern like I’d seen from few people outside my close circle. He bustled into the shop, breezing right past Bella to enfold me in a hug before I could stop him.
I wasn’t much of a toucher, as I know I’ve said before, but this was very uncomfortable. I didn’t know whether to pat his back, or shove him away.
He took the hard decision out of my hands a second later, though, when he stepped back to look me over from head to toe. “I think the first thing we need to do is have some tea, and then I have a load of things to tell you, if you’ll listen.” He looked so helpful, with his wide pleading eyes, I felt like crap for not at least returning his hug a little bit. So I let him lead me to the edge of the fountain while he flitted to the back, emerging minutes later with a tray and three mugs of something very fragrant.
Bella had sat down next to me in the meantime, studiously not looking at me. I saw a smile lurking on her lips but didn’t want to know what was behind it. Was she amused I had hired him? Amused that he was acting like a mother hen when only months before he’d been trying to rob me blind? Did she see how swishily he was walking? I knew he’d ordered a bunch of new underwear out of one of the catalogs. The one whose shirt he was wearing, actually. I yanked my mind back from wondering if the fit of his new panties wasn’t exactly right in the crotch and caused him to walk like t
hat.
He handed me a cup, another to Bella, then pulled up a footstool to sit down below us, sipping his tea.
I couldn’t force myself to gulp just yet, so I wasted some time blowing on the top of my tea to give myself a moment. What exactly could he have to say that couldn’t wait? Was he going to tell me he was stealing from me again? And if I was so worried about that, why hadn’t I listened to Ben in the first place and not hired him? I was sure there were a ton of competent applicants out there who could have helped me out at the Shoppe—not that any of them had actually come in to apply for the position. They had to be out there somewhere. Didn’t they?
But then Charlie was talking, so I tuned back in.
“Well, I heard you had some excitement down here tonight.” He lifted his cup to his mouth, peering at me over the rim. I was mildly surprised his pinky wasn’t sticking out from the side. But then I realized I was being very unfair to him, looking for someone to be mad at. I might have been a lot of things, but I tried hard to be fair most of the time.
“I don’t know that ‘excitement’ is exactly the right word,” I said, putting my cup down on the rim of the fountain next to me. I wasn’t thirsty suddenly. “I’d call it more a disaster.”
“Disaster, right, of course. Sorry.” He looked down into his cup.
“I’m sorry, Charlie,” I said, then blew out a breath. “I have to ask something before we go any further, or it’s going to bug the living heck out of me.”
He looked up expectantly, like a dog thinking it was biscuit time. That thought wasn’t worthy of him, or me, either. I cleared my mind, then blurted out my question. “Where did you get that shirt?”
Plucking the fabric between thumb and forefinger, he glanced down at his front. After a moment, his eyes snapped up to mine. “This?”
“Are you wearing any other shirt?” Really, it was a simple question, wasn’t it?
“Well, no.” He seemed to hesitate, so I took the opportunity to jump in.
“Look, all I want to know is if you took it out of my office.” There I’d said it. Now, we’d see where the chips fell. I might have the shortest-lived assistant ever, but at least I’d know.