Truly, there was no other explanation. Why else would she not be fascinated by the swell of Bracken’s muscles? He was a fine-looking man and yet his body, while she could appreciate it, didn’t make her heart pound or steal her breath away. What she needed was something to distract her from these disturbing thoughts.
“I’ll see about buying more food from the farmer,” she said, moving toward the door.
Lochlan stopped her and handed her his purse. “You’ll find your purchase much easier if you have coin.”
She laughed, trying to cover her embarrassment. “This is probably true. My thanks.”
A slight hint of a smile tugged at the edge of his lips and at her heart. She didn’t know how such a simple gesture could make her knees weak when Bracken’s nudity had done nothing to her, but it did.
Yet that was nothing compared to the overwhelming urge she had to reach up and touch his face. Afraid of the mere thought, she quickly took her leave.
Lochlan couldn’t help but watch as Catarina sashayed out of the barn. There was something about the sway of her hips what was beguiling.
“You’ve fallen bad.”
He frowned at Bracken’s words. “I’ve what?”
“You know what. If her father were here, he’d gouge out your eyes for the way you’re staring after her. You’re all but salivating.”
Lochlan felt a childish urge to argue, but to what point? Bracken was right. He hadn’t felt this kind of pull toward a woman in many years. “Aye, well, I’m old enough to know when not to act.”
“Would it be so bad if you did?”
Aye, it would. He had enough responsibility on him and Catarina wasn’t the kind of woman he needed in his life. Her willful spirit would be a constant strain on any man.
“Hearts are fickle things,” he said quietly to Bracken. “’Tis why the Lord gave us brains so that we may recognize stupidity when we see it. She’s a French princess whose father already has her husband chosen. I learned a long time ago to stay out of such politics. I’ve had one clan war that almost destroyed my people. I’ve no wish to start another.”
“Then why are you helping her?”
Lochlan looked away as he tightened the cinch for his saddle. “I owe her my brother’s life and I gave her my word.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“Of course it is.”
Bracken tsked at him. “If you choose to believe those lies…”
Julia scoffed at her brother as she returned to their side. “Look at you…preaching to another about love.” She shook her head. “Pay him no attention, Lord Lochlan. My brother knows even less of love than I do.”
Bracken rolled his eyes at her. “You’ve listened to too many minstrels, child.”
“Perhaps, but I would never suffer the one I love to marry another.”
There was no mistaking the fury her words ignited inside Bracken. His eyes blazing, he moved to saddle their horses.
Lochlan frowned at his sudden departure and at the pain that marked Julia’s brow.
“I should better counsel my tongue,” she said in a contrite tone. “I wouldn’t have hurt him for anything.”
Having wounded his own brothers on many occasions without malice intended, he completely understood her. “We all make such mistakes.”
“Aye, but the loss of Jacqueline still plagues him and well I know it. It was thoughtless of me to remind him of her.”
“If that be the case, lass, I’m not the one who should hear your apology.”
She nodded before she made her way over to Bracken, who greeted her with a stern glower. But as soon as she apologized, he drew her into a hug and kissed the top of her head before he released her.
Still, the pain in his eyes lingered. It was obvious that Bracken did indeed mourn the loss of this Jacqueline. Yet another reason for Lochlan to guard his heart. Emotions weakened a man and he had no desire to be laid low by something as insignificant as the mere touch of a woman.
But as Catarina returned to the barn he found that resolve tested. And when she caught his gaze and smiled at him, the strange fluttering in his stomach told him that he was all but lost.
It’s just lust.
He’d felt that bitter sting in his loins many times in his life. One woman’s body could soothe that itch just as well as another.
But in his heart, he knew better. Love mattered greatly and he had no wish for any woman save Catarina.
Bracken cleared his throat to draw Lochlan’s attention to him. “We’re going to need another horse.”
Lochlan nodded. “I agree, but there’s not one here. I suggest we try to find one as soon as possible though. I’ve been riding mine rather hard for the last fortnight.”
“As have we,” Bracken said.
Catarina looked back and forth between them. “I would volunteer to walk, but it would slow us down.”
Bracken snorted at the mere prospect. “As if either of us would ride and allow you to walk.” He rolled his eyes at her before he spoke to Lochlan. “The women should ride together. It’ll be less taxing on a single steed.”
Logically, Lochlan concurred. But he felt a small twinge at the thought of her riding with Julia and not him. Pushing that thought aside, he took a bit of bread from Catarina’s hand before he helped Julia mount her horse.
Catarina passed out the rest of the loaf before he helped her up behind Julia. Then she shared bread with Julia while he mounted.
“How well do you know this countryside?” he asked Bracken.
“Well enough.”
“Then I need you to take us to Rouen. Do you know the way?”
“Aye, it’s two days west of here.”
Lochlan let out a relieved breath that it was so close. That would put them there near the end of the tourney, but Stryder should still be in attendance. It was the best he could have hoped for. “Then let’s not tarry.”
Bracken led the way from the farm, back toward the woods. They all decided that it would be best to stay out of sight of the road as much as possible since Lochlan was the only one of them not wanted by the authorities. He actually was amused by that fact. How a man who’d spent the whole of his life avoiding such complications had landed neck deep in them still mystified him.
It was more like something that would happen to one of his brothers.
They rode for several hours before Bracken took them out of the woods and into the main thoroughfare.
“There’s a crossroads up ahead,” he explained. “There’s oft peddlers and such waiting there for travelers they can sell their wares to. Hopefully someone will be willing to sell us a horse.”
Lochlan hoped so. “What about guards?”
“There’s a good chance there could be one or two.” Bracken narrowed his gaze on the women. “I think we should leave them with Bryce and the two of us ride in.”
Lochlan wasn’t so sure. “It seems anytime I leave Catarina alone she finds trouble.”
She gave him an indignant glare. “I do not…” Then her face softened as if she rethought her words. “…often.”
Lochlan laughed, grateful she could at least acknowledge the truth.
“I’ll watch her carefully,” Bryce said with a wry twist to his lips. “And if she makes any trouble, I’ll tackle her to the ground and tie her down.”
Now it was his turn to receive Catarina’s scathing glare. “You little scamp. I’ll remember that.”
He beamed.
Lochlan reined his horse while Bryce took the women away from the road, into hiding. Once he was sure no one could see them, he led Bracken the short distance to the peddlers.
As predicted, there were three carts of vendors with various wares. Lochlan paused at the first one they reached. The man’s cart had items of metalwork, including a selection of small swords. Those could come in handy.
After dismounting, he picked up one of the swords to test the blade and balance. It was crudely made, more akin to the ones used by a foot soldier. H
ardly fit for a noble knight, but it was the best they would be able to manage until they reached the fair.
Lochlan paid the man, then moved to the next vendor.
Bracken held the horses as Lochlan handed the blade to him. “Thank you.”
“I’ll provide you with better in Rouen.”
“Trust me, this is the finest blade in all the kingdom.”
Lochlan understood what he meant. When something was taken from you, the return of any facsimile of it was welcomed.
“Would you like a pretty bit of cloth for you ladylove?” an old crone called from her cart. “We’ve got some of the finest weave to be found, my lord. Come and see.”
Lochlan gave her a charming grin. “’Tis a horse we need, goodwife.”
“A horse says you?” A man came out from behind the cart. “Well now, I’ve just come into one from the last man who bargained with me. What have you to exchange for it?”
“Coin…if the beast be worth it.”
The man motioned for him to step behind the cart, where there were three horses tied. The largest was a bay with a white star on its forehead. “It’s a gelding,” the man explained. “A bit undernourished, but healthy nonetheless.”
Lochlan exchanged a suspicious look with Bracken. The man was right, the horse needed a good meal in its belly, but other than that, it appeared stout. “What do you think?”
Bracken shrugged. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
That was true enough. Lochlan pulled his purse out to pay the man. As he took the reins of his new acquisition, he noticed Bracken stepping back into the shadows as horses approached.
The vendor cast a furtive look to the nobleman who was riding toward them. He was a stout fellow who was at least five and twoscore years in age. It was obvious from the vendor’s reaction that he’d had a run-in or two with the man and didn’t care for him.
“Good day, my lord,” the vendor greeted, but the nobleman merely sneered at the vendor and continued on his way.
“Thank God he didn’t stop,” the old woman said under her breath. “He took all our profits last week for taxes, he said. But I notice he’s wearing new boots and a fur tunic while we’re eating rotten cabbage.”
Lochlan didn’t move until after the man and his escorts had ridden past without so much as glancing in their direction. As soon as he was gone, Bracken took the horse and started back toward the others.
“A friend?” Lochlan asked.
“More like…a well-deserved customer.”
Lochlan grinned. “Last week’s supper?”
“Two nights back, actually. Recent enough that I’m quite sure he remembers my face.”
“Am I asking for trouble by taking you to Rouen?”
“Most likely.”
Lochlan shook his head. Prudence would dictate he leave Bracken and his family to their own means, but he wasn’t that type of man. Bracken needed his life back and that would never happen should the man be hanged for crimes he was forced to commit.
“We’d best keep to the woods.”
“I couldn’t agree more. You never know when more of my clients might be lurking to snare me.” There was no mistaking the gleeful light in his eyes.
“You’re enjoying this way too much.”
“While bitterness can take the joy out of many things, it will also give you a sense of facetious humor. Since it’s the source of most amusement these days, I tend to savor these moments.”
Lochlan supposed he couldn’t blame him. He’d always been one to take humor wherever he could find it himself and he noticed that Bracken handed Lochlan’s small purse of coins to the vendor.
Once they were finished, they found the women and Bryce sitting on the ground, playing a game of dice, waiting for them. Lochlan paused at the sight. He couldn’t imagine a lady, never mind a princess, so comfortable with herself that she would deign to sit on the ground to play a common game. Yet there they were and they appeared as happy as they could be.
Bracken gave Catarina a slight bow. “Your mount awaits you, my lady.”
Catarina smiled as she pushed herself up to inspect the horse. “And a fine mount he is.” She patted the horse’s head before rubbing its neck. The beast seemed completely content to be the source of her affection. Not that Lochlan blamed the horse. He’d love to have that particular woman stroke him a bit, too.
Lochlan pulled the feed sack from his saddlebags. “We should probably let him eat a bit before we start.”
Bracken agreed. “Aye, he won’t be doing us any good if he collapses from hunger.”
“And it most certainly would ruin my day as well,” Catarina said playfully. “I’ve no desire to kill a poor, defenseless animal, especially not one so beautiful.”
The horse preened as if it understood her.
Once it had eaten, they mounted and returned to their journey. Lochlan didn’t say much as Bryce and Julia teased one another and Catarina, who took their words in stride.
Their comradery made him miss his own brothers greatly. He hadn’t realized just how lonely he’d been on this trip until now. He’d spent weeks conversing with no one. Only himself for company—not that he’d minded, but this was infinitely better than talking to his horse.
“So tell us about Scotland, Lord Lochlan,” Julia said, pulling his thoughts to her. “I’ve heard ’tis a wild place where the men barely dress as humans.”
Catarina laughed. “Obviously the men dress as human. Look at Lochlan. He’s not…well too strange.”
He smiled. “Compared to what? From what I’ve seen of the likes of you, we Scots are the best dressed and mannered of the bunch.” He looked to Julia. “It’s God’s country, lass. You’ve never seen anything more beautiful. The hills and mountains rise up like the backs of giants reaching toward the clearest skies you’ll ever see.”
“I can’t wait to see it.”
Catarina gave a low laugh. “You know I can almost taste the heather when you talk about Scotland.”
“I wouldn’t advise tasting it though,” Lochlan teased. “Your luck, you’d be poisoned by it.”
“Good point.”
They traveled through the day and didn’t stop until dusk. Lochlan went hunting for food while the others made camp for the night. It didn’t take long to find two hares. He strung them up and made his way back.
As he neared the stream by their camp so that he could wash up, he heard Catarina say his name.
“Lochlan is a bit stern.”
He knew he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but at the same time, the women shouldn’t have been discussing him either. Deciding that two wrongs might make a right, he crept closer to see the two women at the edge of the water, washing their faces.
“He seems very withdrawn,” Julia said. “Like there’s something inside him that’s hurting.”
“He’s worried over his missing brother and family, I think.”
“Perhaps, but I heard stories about his father. They say the MacAllister was insane. Do you think he might have passed that on to his son?”
“Nay.” The sincerity in Catarina’s face touched him. “Lochlan’s a good man. Look at how he offered all of you a home.”
“I know. ’Twas more than fair and decent of him. It’s just…” Her voice trailed off.
“What?”
Julia swallowed before she continued. “I heard that when the MacAllister was in England at court, they found a girl, ten-and-eight—my age, who’d been raped and beaten to death. The last person who’d seen her said that she’d been going to meet the MacAllister for a tryst. There were many who said he’d killed her during it.”
“But they didn’t arrest him?”
“Nay they did not. Still…what if he had? Do you think Lord Loch—”
“Nay, child,” Catarina snapped. “Never. It’s not in him to do such a thing.”
Lochlan moved back, away from them as their words haunted him. Most likely his father had done it. He wouldn’t be surprised.
&n
bsp; The only thing people respect is cruelty. Show them you’re the meanest and none will dare to attack you. His father had lived and died by those words. And his own mother had worn enough bruises that Lochlan knew firsthand how seldom his father had spared his fist.
Not to mention the rest of them.
But at least Catarina had seen the truth. He was not his father. He refused to deal such cruelty to others. Unfortunately, many others didn’t see things the same way Catarina did.
His heart heavy, he returned to camp.
Bryce’s face lightened the instant he saw the hares. “There will be full bellies tonight.”
Lochlan laid them out by the boy’s feet so that he could skin them. “I should wash up.” And this time when he made his way back to the stream, he made sure to make enough noise to warn the women of his approach.
Julia quickly excused herself while Catarina stayed behind. Ignoring her, Lochlan knelt to wash his hands.
Cat frowned. Lochlan seemed even more closed off from her than he’d been before. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, lass.”
But he didn’t seem fine. There was something troubling him. “Are we slowing you down?”
“What?”
“I was wondering if you were bothered by the fact that all of us are traveling with you now. I know you’re in a hurry to find out about your brother.”
“Nay. Since Bracken knows where he’s heading and I don’t, I imagine this is much quicker.”
She moved closer to him. “Then what’s weighing on your mind?”
He stood up to tower over her. “There’s nothing.”
As if she believed him. Every part of his tense body and his pale eyes denied his claim. “If you say so, my lord.”
He frowned at her. “What do you mean by that tone of voice?”
“Nothing at all. If your mind is empty, then it’s empty. Far be it from me to question a mindless man.”
His scowl deepened. “I thought you said you would refrain from insulting me.”
“It appears I can’t help myself. Must be your charming ways that compel me to tease you so. Besides, you told Bracken that what with your brothers, you were used to being insulted.”
His features smoothed a bit. “I was rather enjoying the hiatus from my torment.”
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