by Sharon Rose
TarKeen crossed the maintenance bay toward ShenLee. She leaned over a drafting station, but her gaze hovered beyond it. He stopped at her side. “Why so pensive?”
ShenLee slipped from her stool and pushed it away. “Just thinking of a strange conversation.” She zoomed the display of her drafting table to one area of the design.
“Strange, how?”
“It was the sort of thing that women talk about, and yet I couldn’t help but wonder if LeckLa was trying to get information.” She flipped her hand. “Perhaps I mistake shadows for matter. By the way, do you know that our names are being paired?”
“Yes, I’ve heard.” He glanced around. “Look, the technicians keep their distance, as though they think we’d like privacy.”
She chuckled despite her worries. “That does prove convenient. I learned something else of interest.”
He leaned nearer to catch her quiet voice.
“JedKoom only has one generation of memories,” she murmured. “His grandfather died when his father was a child.”
TarKeen turned his head aside. “It happens. The number of remembered generations varies between each family.”
“Yes, but he’s sensitive about it—as though it diminishes him.”
“Ah. Was he bothered by my reaction to VanDar’s intentional lack?”
“He is,” ShenLee said. “I think back to that evening. Many agreed with me when I spoke of my memories, but some held silent. I can’t fully recall who, but at least two of them were people VanDar recruited. Is it possible that he seeks those without ancient memories?”
“He could perceive a need for their support.” TarKeen studied her design. “Of course, we wouldn’t know if someone hides the loss of ancient memory, but not everyone does so. They speak of it like they speak of an ancestor’s death. They may experience grief, but not shame.” TarKeen paused, no longer seeing the design he stared at. “Still, no PitKree primary has ever lacked them. A case could be made that the family of Kell has disqualified itself from ruling. We must watch for signs of division over this. What was discussed at yesterday’s meeting?”
“Nothing much. Just some rambling about criteria for colony sites.” Her slender eyebrows drew together. “It was odd. VanDar raised no points, but he seemed tense. Like when he heard that the Shennasee representative is probably Jenarsig himself. Do you have any idea what might bother him now?”
“Ghent sent a message that they’re trying to avoid a trip all the way to Earth and back. That would bring Kena to us more quickly.”
A smile tugged at ShenLee’s lips, then pinched.
“Yes,” he murmured. “Most are pleased, but I doubt VanDar shares the common delight.”
“Oh, I hope he doesn’t show it.”
“Someone has shown something,” he said. “Additional guards have been assigned to Pernanyen. Travannesal has carried a concealed weapon since the trial, but, yesterday, Leonfir began carrying a weapon on his hip.” TarKeen touched between her tight eyebrows. “Enough of this. Since our names are paired, anyway, please join me for lunch. I’ll be on level two.”
She chuckled again.
As he left, TarKeen carried the memory of her smile away with him. Thoughts of the day ahead burdened him less than usual. Was it her smile? Or the relief of no longer hiding their relationship? It didn’t hurt that he no longer must perform the work of two.
When TarKeen entered the command room, Leonfir glanced up, welcome in his eyes. An echo of earlier days. Leonfir gestured to one of the displays, which showed positions of ships near the nebula. Only two, in addition to the Epri7.
“I’ve just released the Demri2,” Leonfir said. “They will exit within the hour.”
“Excellent!”
“Such understatement, TarKeen. Not only am I down to two ships, but we are no longer deemed a fleet. And I”—Leonfir drew his shoulders back, full lips curving—“may relinquish the title of fleet commander.”
He put so much relish into his words that TarKeen couldn’t help laughing. “Welcome back, Captain.”
“Thank you.” Leonfir dropped the irony but spoke loud enough to be heard across the broad room. “As I’ve resumed my normal duties, I have noticed, Commander TarKeen, that you have kept the ship and crew in fine order. Just as I expected. For your leadership and excellence, I offer my deepest appreciation and thanks.”
TarKeen inclined his upper body toward Leonfir.
“A well-earned commendation,” the command watch officer said.
“Affirmed!” echoed through the room, spoken by both PitKree and Laundun voices.
“This is, indeed, a fine crew to lead,” TarKeen replied. Warmth swelled through his chest. How could anyone think that the PitKree and Laundun must be separated?
Over the next hour, conducting joint reviews with Leonfir reminded him how much enjoyment his career could provide, and why Leonfir was an ideal captain. Always leading, never driving.
TarKeen still basked in the light of Leonfir’s public commendation when he joined ShenLee for lunch.
She smiled up at him. “You seem different, TarKeen. What is it?”
“I don’t want to speak of it here. Link with me.”
As she absorbed the words Leonfir had spoken and the responses of those who’d heard, her face lit. “Oh!” she whispered. “Oh, affirmed!” She looked more pleased than if she had been the one commended.
A few glances lingered on TarKeen and ShenLee as they ate, then mingled with the mixed group of Laundun and PitKree dining in the lounge. ShenLee returned to her work, and TarKeen made his way to the opposite exit.
VanDar approached him there. “I’m surprised,” he said, “to see you showing favor toward ShenLee.”
“Are you?” TarKeen stopped and raised his brows. “Why?”
“It’s well-known that you have chosen not to wed. When I suggested that ShenLee spend time with you, I had no idea that you were at risk of abandoning your path.”
TarKeen laughed. “Just when I think I’ve seen the last of your surprises, you produce another.”
“We disagree over methods, but we pursue the same goal,” VanDar said. “I do respect you, TarKeen, and have no desire to see you misled. ShenLee is a vibrant woman, and I understand why you find her appealing. But she will not marry you or stand by you. She uses you for her own ends.” He turned and walked away.
TarKeen stared after him. Now, why had he said that?
Chapter Twenty-Six
As Kena and Antony approached their quarters, both their computers chimed their tones for messages from Earth. Were they the responses she longed for and dreaded?
“May I join you?” Antony asked.
“Sure.” They spent so many evenings together, the only real question was where.
They settled on her sofa. Antony took a quick peek at his computer and closed it. “What have you got?”
She released a breath. “One from my dad and one from Liza.”
“Good,” he said. “If you haven’t already, set your status to unavailable. You deserve some time without interruptions.”
“That, I do. I think I’ll start with Liza’s.” Kena set her status and selected the message. It filled her screen with text, looking much like an old-fashioned letter.
My dear Kena,
How I wish I could be there to hug you and have tea with you. So many things to say, that just don’t fit through comm systems. But I didn’t want to delay any longer, for I’m sure you’ve been wondering.
This note ends well, so don’t be cast down by this first bit. I talked to my fellow trainers. None of us have any idea how to teach you to inspect a sairital’s memory, much less how to remove anything. Such a bizarre thing for someone to request! No one has ever asked before. I don’t mean to imply that we think you should refuse (unless you wish to, which we would understand). We agree with you that, as long as you are not violating her will, there is no reason you shouldn’t proceed. We just can’t help you.
This bothered me so much, I asked Yesh
ua what I should do for you. Well, actually, I asked him to teach me how to do it. He just smiled and said, “Why? Kena needs to learn how. Not you.” Quite obvious, I know, but somehow that view hadn’t occurred to me. Anyway, he said he has already given you everything you need in order to learn it right now, so you don’t need to wait for me to arrive.
Much as I would love to visit you, by the time we’d meet, you will already have everything and more than I could possibly bring you. (And just a heads-up for you, my dear: When we do meet again, I want to learn all about this.)
By the way, here is a little tidbit that may interest you, for it reveals a changing tide. A half-dozen races have now told their own people that it is not necessary to acclimate to Human emfrel. So funny, because we told them that decades ago, but they were all so convinced that we didn’t understand. Maybe in a few more decades, they will believe us when we tell them we are not sairital beings.
For now, tell everyone to leave you alone for a while, sit down with our beloved, and enjoy him. Then, look around with fresh eyes. What you need is already at hand.
Love and grace abound to you,
Liza
“Hm.” Kena handed her computer to Antony so he could read.
He scanned the message, then returned the computer. “I like her.”
“You should meet her in person. Once in a while, she throws out the funniest one-liners, with a perfectly straight face. And if you’re paying attention, she can give the most profound nuggets of wisdom with only a few words.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
Kena let out a sound between a snort and a laugh. “All this time waiting for help from Earth, and Yeshua says I already have what I need, here.”
“Do you know what that means?”
She shook her head. “No, but I will.” She ejected an earpiece from her computer and slipped it into her ear. “The message from my dad is audio. I should check whether it includes anything private.”
Her dad’s voice, so precious to her, spoke from across the void. “Kena, my darling daughter, you have matured into an amazing woman. I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of you.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, not just at his words, but at the depth of emotion warming his voice. She had to pause the message and cover her trembling lips.
Antony reached for her. “Is something wrong?”
She shook her head and blinked tears back. “No. He just said a really sweet dad-thing. Nothing to cry over. I suppose I just miss him too much.” She steadied her breath and played the message.
“You extend so much care—love, to give it’s true name—to those whom most would call enemies. What you have begun will echo through the millennium.
“Joseph Feinerman tells me that a ship will leave the Earth system in a week. Not a direct route, but we could transfer at a space station to another ship. I long to see you face-to-face, Kena.
“The more I think on this entire situation, the more I realize that we cannot reach you soon enough. Joseph keeps me apprised of all communications. He insists”—from her father’s dry tone, Kena pictured the quirk of his mouth—“that he requires my expertise. Ridiculous, of course, since you, not I, are the cultural expert on the PitKreelaundun. But I’m not about to forego the information I glean. And all of it points to one conclusion. You need to complete the link with Pernanyen as soon as you can.”
He paused and drew an audible breath. “I don’t want to sound like I’m rushing you. I realize the situation is not simplistic. However, I do advise against waiting until we can reach you. When you are ready, go ahead with it. Recognize that they have challenges, just as you do. If you return to them sooner than you projected, you show consideration and goodwill that are likely to produce future benefits.
“I do suggest you do one thing before returning to the Epri7. Pass the knowledge of the PitKreelaundun language to someone in your crew. Preferably to a linguist, or at least someone who knows how to prepare it for telepathic learning.
“I hope none of my suggestions disturbed you, my dear. Follow them only to the extent you are comfortable. Whatever you decide, know that I support you in every way. Rest in our lord, my child. He holds you safe. I love you, Kena.”
She leaned back against the couch cushions and let out a long breath.
“Well?” Antony said.
She pulled the earpiece out and restarted the recording over the general speaker.
After the first few sentences, Antony whispered, “So true.”
Kena closed her eyes and imagined her dad sitting in the room with them…pictured the way he would look with each sentence. His advice and Liza’s rang true within her. If only she knew where to start. I need your help, my beloved. They say it’s here, but I don’t see it.
When her dad’s voice ceased, Antony said. “I like him, too.”
“You better like him! He’s only the best dad on Earth.”
He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, giving them a little squeeze. “Fortunately, none of this conflicts with what I was going to suggest.”
“Which is…?”
“Use music to find your peace. Away from all non-Humans. I’ve been wondering about the music your father sent when you were on the Epri7. I know it meant a lot to you at the time, but…if you ever played any of the songs around me, you didn’t mention it.”
“I listened to them for a time afterward,” she said. “It’s hard to describe. They stabilized me, I guess. But they also reminded me of what I’d experienced, and I wanted to move away from that. So, I quit listening…oh, right before you came to the Ontrevay.”
“I can understand that,” he said, “but I’m wondering if it’s time to embrace that music again. I would love to join you. What do you think?”
She raised her brows. “It’s long, you know. And some of it is more go-to-sleep music than worship music.”
“Hm. How does it end?”
“The tempo picks up again, and it turns into a jubilant, empowering sort of worship.”
He slid two fingers down a lock of her hair. “Will you share the ending with me? Or maybe the beginning and ending?”
“Sure.” She selected the songs on her computer, feeding the sound into the room’s speakers, then settled into a corner of the sofa with her legs crossed.
She listened in silence to some songs and sang with others. Antony joined her on a few. Somehow, it seemed that others far away were singing with them. As if they’d connected with hundreds of Humans, all uniting in praise to the one who loved with a passion and completeness that would forever boggle Kena’s mind. The Spirit of her beloved flowed through her, like a faint electric current. His essence teased her nose with spiced sweetness. The intensity of his presence made her lightheaded, as a hint of distant, unearthly music intermingled with her and Antony’s voices.
Kena swayed as the power surged through her with indescribable gentleness. She yielded to its healing. Was it within her mind or within the intricate structures of her brain? No matter which, he who had formed her now restored her.
An image took shape. A horse. She knew their ways. This one resisted training. The mare didn’t resist Yeshua, though.
He bridled her and placed the reins in Kena’s hands. She will obey you, now.
Kena caught what the mare represented. Untamed thoughts and emotions over Pernanyen’s invasion of her mind. Now, hers to control—to direct—to halt. Why hadn’t she thought of using imagery? And a horse, no less. Her beloved couldn’t have chosen a better animal. She pictured herself leading the mare, then mounting. The horse headed for a familiar track between thorn bushes. Kena drew rein, guiding the mare toward a wooded garden. A path curved out of sight. Unknown territory. The mare twitched her ears forward and sidled, but Kena patted her neck and murmured, “It’s not that scary. We’ve got this.” Then, she laughed within, for she was talking to the fear of her own emotions. Yes! They were hers…to control.
How long did she ride in this world of ima
gery? Kena shrugged. No matter, for she’d stepped out of time. Even after Antony left and she flopped down on her bed, her beloved guided her. Sleep took her into a glorious flying dream with her love of all loves.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Kena strolled through nav section. Rather quiet for the beginning of first shift. She stopped beside Hrndl and asked, “Where is everyone?”
“I gave half the shift an extra day off,” Hrndl said. “Once we reach our destination, we’ll all be working long days.” She turned to the front consoles and displayed their course.
Kena glanced at the duty roster and cocked her head over two omitted names.
Ghent arrived with some of the other navigators and they gathered at the front of the room, reviewing the Ontrevay’s route, which had changed a bit since yesterday. They were taking a longer trip than usual in order to reach a larger, cleaner source of benzlium. Hopefully, the last side trip they would need.
Hrndl glanced around. “Tevd, I’m giving you command of first shift.”
“Yes, ma’am. Uh…” He pointed at the duty roster. “Are Kena and Antony on duty today?”
“On,” Hrndl said, “but not in navigation.”
Kena exchanged a look with Antony.
“I have other plans for you today,” Ghent said.
“Both of us?” Antony asked, eyebrows sliding up.
“Yes, you, too,” Ghent said with a faint smile. “Come.”
They followed him from nav section and had almost reached his consult room before he spoke again.
“I have something to show you, Kena, that I think you’ll enjoy.” He opened the door, and a distant roar greeted them.
He walked to the railing that mimicked a balcony. The 3-D wall images now portrayed a different canyon, dominated by a towering waterfall. The river burst from a cliff face under such pressure, it arced away from the rock wall before plummeting to the valley. Birds circled in long slow climbs, then dived into the spray, often emerging with fish clutched in their talons.