He nodded stiffly, obviously not liking the idea of her taking control of the conversation or directly addressing the issue.
His problem. If it falls apart, it won't be because I didn't give it my all.
She walked around him and got into the passenger's side of the car to find a pretty bouquet of red roses laying between the seats.
"What do you feel like for dinner? Seafood, steak, something else?" He picked up the roses and handed them to her. "For you."
"When did you have time to get these?"
"I made time." He reached over and touched her arm with the back of his fingers. "Let’s have fun tonight and try to leave all this angsty bullshit behind us for a while."
"I'll try."
"What can I do to change that from trying to doing?" He tugged at a strand of her hair before leaning into her seat and kissing her softly a few times. "Where's my girl under all this drama? Is she in there? I want her. I need her. Tell her to come out and have dinner with me."
She nodded, not willing to push it any further. "Okay."
"Good." He dropped back in his seat, clueless. "Now, where to?"
"Let's go to the steakhouse Erica was talking about in Jamaica."
"You wanna fly to Jamaica?" He winked at her and reached for her hand, pulling it up to his lips and kissing softly. "I know the one. It's one of the best in the world."
"Good." She pulled her hand from his and turned to look out her passenger's side window. "I heard it rains here all the time, but it hasn't at all today unless I missed it."
"You were trapped in a conference room all day." He brushed his fingers by her leg and pushed her skirt up a little before gripping her thigh softly. "You want me to stop by the hotel so you can put on something more comfortable?"
She glanced over at him and rested her hand on his, not wanting him to go any higher. The need to protect herself from whatever they were headed toward rolled through her violently.
"Yeah, that would be great actually." She forced a smile and reached to turn on the radio.
"You sure you're all right?"
"Yep. Just a lot on my plate right now." She crossed her legs in a way that forced him to pull his hand back. "I think the one thing I can't shake is why you wouldn't have told me about Bridget's sister coming to work at the firm. I guess it's really not my business." She shrugged and kept her voice soft and conversational, as if they were discussing the color of the drapes in a house. "It just shocked me to see her there with no clue of who she was or that she was coming."
"I get that." A tenseness entered his voice that didn't belong there. It should have been her that was tense over the situation. The omission of truth was the same as lying, or at least that's the lesson he'd taught over her punching Sadie in the face and not saying anything about it. How was this situation any different?
She pulled out her phone and texted Matt as Damon sighed softly and put both hands on the wheel, squeezing tightly until the leather creaked in protest.
Bethany: Where are you?
Matt: At the hotel. What's up? You need me?
Bethany: Yes. I'm going to tell Damon I have a stomach ache. I can't do this tonight. Can we go somewhere undercover?
Matt: My chest hurts over this, but yeah, I like undercover.
Bethany: Mine too, but I can't keep up this fake shit anymore. I'm hurt and I'm sure it's my fault, but I need to get away from it for the night.
Matt: Text me when you're free.
The phone rang on the car’s console, and Damon tapped it twice. Ben's voice filled up the car as they pulled up into the driveway of the hotel.
"Hey, boss man. We're all going to a great piano bar down the street from the office. You and Bethany should join us."
"Naw, man. We-"
"Just a second, Ben." She pressed mute on the dashboard. "You should go. My stomach is starting to get sick again. Seriously. Come back to me tonight, and we can catch up."
"No." His expression tightened further as anger burned across his face. "I'm coming up with you."
"No. Really. I don't want to be sick in front of you. I love you." She leaned over and kissed him, but he didn't return the gesture.
"Beth, I'm not letting you be sick alone. We're in this thing-"
"Go. I need some time to myself. I'll text you if I need something. Let me be gross in peace." She forced a laugh and grabbed her purse and got out of the car.
He sat in the car, staring out the front window as she turned to wave at him. Nothing. It wasn't until she was standing in front of the elevator with tears running down her cheeks that she realized that she left the flowers he got her sitting in the front seat.
"Fucking great."
***
"I think you guys are putting way the fuck too much pressure on yourselves. My God, you just got together three weeks ago." Matt dipped his chip into the bowl of hot salsa between them.
Bethany sucked down another drink of her frozen margarita before answering.
"I know. I keep telling myself that, but some of the little things he's done that have hurt me seem to feel so damn big. So big..."
Matt reached over and squeezed her hand. "So let's talk about something else. You and Damon will figure this shit out. You're too right for each other not to, okay?"
"Okay." She glanced down and forced the hot lump of regret in her chest to go back down. They would figure things out, maybe. Hopefully. "Did you ask Erica out?"
"No. She's a piranha." He laughed as Bethany gave him a look.
"She's a great girl and someone that you would-"
"I know. I've heard it a million times. No is my answer. I don't want a woman like her. Honestly." He shrugged. "She's beautiful and leaves my insides shaking with white-hot need, but she's not the kind of woman I want to tie myself to emotionally."
"Why is that?"
"She's like Damon. Strong, confident, a bitch and a half, and I love it. I would become her lap dog in public and put a collar on her in the bedroom. She would bring out the worst parts of me." He reached over and pulled Bethany's drink toward him. He took a drink and licked at the salt on the side before grimacing. "This tastes like shit."
"You lick the salt first, nugget-head." She laughed and showed him how to do it.
"I'll just stick to beer for now. Thanks." He lifted his beer in the air. "Things are going to work out. I promise."
"I hope so." She hit her glass against his and let Matt move the conversation to more relaxed, fun topics, which he did well.
***
Finding Damon asleep on the coach of the room when she got back that night was a little concerning. He had to know that she went out, but how long had he been in the room waiting for her?
The roses were in a vase on the desk, and a card sat beside them, unopened. Had he gotten it for her for their dinner date?
Guilt pumped through her as she opened the card and turned to face him. The soft sound of him breathing let her know that he was asleep. She glanced up from the card and let her eyes move along him as the moonlight spread across his sleek figure. He was in slacks and nothing else, his beautiful body like something out of a wet dream.
Beth,
Give me time, and I'll give you patience. Give me grace, and I'll give you trust. Give me your heart, and I'll treasure it forever. This isn't the end, but the beginning, right? Sure feels like the opposite is happening. Where are you tonight, baby? Is there someone else you'd rather be with than me? Who is he? How can I be more like him? Am I not enough?
There's so much to work through, but for me, you're it. I'm willing to keep pushing forward if you are. I hope you are, Beth, because despite it being three weeks, I love you.
D
She pressed her fingers to her lips as a sob lodged in her chest. There he was, the man she'd fallen in love with. He was tucked somewhere deep inside the asshole across the room.
After setting the card down and changing into a tank top and panties, she walked across the room and sat down on the bed be
side him on the couch, brushing his hair back as tears rolled over her cheeks. It would be so easy to wake him up and make love to him for the rest of the night, to forget the hurt and work toward something better, but she couldn't force herself to do it. She'd never cheat on him, and though that was his main hang up, she shouldn't have had to convince him that she wasn't out with another man.
Well, no one other than Matt, and he didn't count.
She leaned over and kissed his head a few times as he grumbled and rolled onto his side, putting his back to her. She kissed his shoulder and got up, pulled the top cover off the bed and put it on him before getting in the over-sized bed beside him and trying to force herself to get some sleep. They had another long day on Sunday, and she needed to be on her toes. Otherwise, something told her that she'd have Delilah in her face, which wouldn't go over too well.
Wonder if she needs a nose job too.
Chapter 37
Damon
The light mist that covered the golf course that next morning ushered in an odd peace that Damon needed more than he wanted to admit, even to himself. Bethany had come in from her date, or whatever she'd been doing, opened the card and left him on the couch. It was a clear sign that things were headed toward being over. It was too much to consider, so like he'd done his whole life, he boxed it up and tucked it away. Fuck it. All of it.
"So you think you guys going down to Florida next weekend will help some?" James Talling glanced up as he wiped off the tip of his putter.
"Absolutely." Damon nodded and glanced over to Patrick. "Pat's going down there, and some of our other hard-hitting staff. We'll wrap everything up and set up new procedures and processes. It will be a brand-new operation by the time we leave."
"And all in a weekend." Patrick chuckled and walked out to the fairway beside Damon as James moved up to take his turn. "We missed you last night. Ben thought you were going to join us."
"Yeah. Too much to do. I had to work for a few hours, and then I passed out. One too many bourbons, I guess." He crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to think about how good Bethany looked laying in the bed that morning, still sound asleep. The covers had pulled off of her as she lay on her side, and her tiny white panties left so much skin on display. It took every ounce of denying himself not to bend down, tug them to the side and eat her for breakfast. Any other morning and he would have.
"You all right?" Patrick's expression hardened a little as his eyebrows furrowed.
"Yes, just a lot on my mind, but nothing I’m willing to discuss.” Damon nodded as James walked toward them.
"Of course, boss. Just know I'm here if you do."
"Thanks." Damon took the putter from James and smiled. "You're not going to win this one, my friend."
"The story of my life." He laughed as they passed. "The only success I have is Zarpeth, and it's started to crack at the seams too."
Damon turned at the older man's confession. Zarpeth crumbling was a serious situation, not just for the revenue, but because M&B was tied to the company's reputation as they were all of their audit clients.
"What do you mean?" Damon pressed the putter to the ground and gripped the top with both hands as he leaned forward and stretched.
"Hm?" James turned back to face Damon. "Oh, I'm just being a cynic. Everything is good outside of this inventory mess. I was referring to all the other shit in my life."
"Like?" Damon stood back up and swung a few times, feeling much better about James' explanation. There wasn't room for too many more shit storms in his life right then.
"Dana is filing for divorce next week." He shrugged. "I guess all these years of me working eighty-plus hours a week finally got to her."
"That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that, man." Damon moved toward his ball and hit it once. It sunk in the whole and James growled loudly.
"You get all the lucky balls, don't you?" He laughed as Damon lifted his eyebrow at him and walked toward the cart as Patrick moved to take his turn.
"I'm not sure lucky would be the word. My life is a bit of a mess right now too." He ran his fingers through his hair and stretched again.
"Can't be worse than mine." James slipped his hands into his pockets and let out a shaky breath.
"You love her?" Damon couldn't help but ask.
"Yeah, man. With all of my heart, but love isn't enough."
"No? I've always heard that if you had love, you had everything. Doesn't love heal all wounds and stop time or some crazy shit like that?" Damon forced a smirk though his heart ached deep in his chest.
"I wish." James glanced down toward his feet. "She's trying to take custody of our twin boys, and though I'd rather be skinned alive and dipped in acid than hurt her, I have to fight for them. She's going to take it as an attack, and I fucking hate that, but what else am I supposed to do?"
"How old are they?"
"Ten. They need me." He chuckled and glanced back up. "Fuck. I need them. I need her, but she won't hear me."
"Women are complex. Have you asked what the source of her hurts are?"
"Yeah, but I can't let go of the company."
"Sure you can. You've built it from the ground up. Hand it over to a well-qualified team of managers and go get your wife back."
"It's not that easy, but maybe you’re right. I'll think about how to do that. Even if this is it for Dana and me, I still owe the next woman in my life a better chance at a relationship than I gave my wife."
"Would you change it all if you could? Go back and fix the small cracks in the marriage?"
"Hell yeah. She's everything I wanted in a wife, a lover, a best friend." He pressed his teeth into his lip and shook his head before walking down the fairway toward the next hole.
" Is James all right?" Patrick walked over and got into the golf cart.
"Yeah, he will be." Damon dropped down into the driver's seat and tried to figure out if he still had a chance of fixing him and Bethany. She hadn't cheated on him. She wouldn't do that.
Neither would his mom have cheated on his dad. Not in a million years, but she did.
***
He walked into the office a few hours later to find the staff working fast to put out a third quarter fire for another client. He left them to it and walked to his office to find Bethany staring out the window.
"Hey, can you organize a dinner tonight? It looks like those guys in there aren't going to get a break anytime soon. We'll either bring something in or go somewhere."
"Yeah, I guess." She glanced over her shoulder. The sadness on her pretty face tore into him, but he'd made his apologies yesterday only to have her lie to him about her stomach and leave with someone. No way had she gone out by herself for two hours. He'd parked the car and gotten to the room in time to smell the remnant of her perfume that filled the place.
"Thanks." He walked to his desk and sat down, not bothering to ask why she was standing by the window while everyone else was busting ass. That wouldn't gain him any favors, though, after the night before, he wasn't sure he wanted any.
"Thank you for the card. It was sweet."
Sweet?
"Sure." He popped open his laptop and turned it on before glancing up to catch her watching him. "What's up, Beth?"
"Why does everything have to be a fight between us? What am I to you? Your girlfriend? Your associate?" She pressed her hands to her hips. "You're fucking secretary?"
"Because I asked you to organize a dinner?" He leaned back in his chair and forced his anger to stay at the edge of the confrontation. She was mad, and yet it was his turn to light into her. She was one hundred percent in the wrong.
"Yeah, Damon. That's why." She shook her head and walked to the door.
"Right. Close the door behind you, and thanks for your efforts. Hope your stomach is all better." He glanced down and opened a few files as the door closed. "Fuck. What the hell?"
They were past the point of saving things, or so it seemed. This was the reason he refused to get into a relationship in the firs
t place. Everything was taken the wrong way, skewed, fucked up. It was exhausting, and at this point, not worth the effort. If all he was going to do was continue to hurt her with every move he made, then he was done.
He was honest in the card the night before. He did love her. But as James had clearly reminded him, love just wasn't enough.
***
The rest of the day was a blur of activity, and he didn't look up from his laptop until Ben knocked on the door later that evening. The twinkling stars outside of his window let him know it was well past the time he'd planned to get up and find something to eat. His stomach growled angrily as if in protest.
"You coming?"
"Where?" Damon stood up and stretched before pulling off his suit jacket.
"Dinner. Bethany organized a family-style dinner at the Italian place just down the road. Come on; we can walk."
"Where is the rest of the team?" He walked out into the hall to see Delilah on the phone.
"They're already there. We let them go to get the appetizers and stuff. You good walking?" Ben grabbed Delilah’s elbow, and she nodded and moved in behind them.
"Yeah, I could use some fresh air."
"Long day?"
"Yeah. I didn't move once I don't think. Everything hurts." He reached up and rubbed his hand down the back of his neck before rolling his shoulders a few times. "Beth do okay today?"
"Oh yeah. The girl is honestly brilliant. She's fast as fuck too. I love having her on the team. She didn't talk much, which was odd, but I figured she was just tired from a wild night with-"
Damon popped him in the chest. "Don't. Not appropriate."
"Gotcha." Ben gave him a sheepish look and held the elevator open for them.
Mister Big Stuff: A Single Mom Friends to Lovers Novel Page 70