Aunt Lavinia walked all the way to the ambulance and rode in relative comfort to her home.
Dusk was only an hour away when the men finished moving everything into the cabin. Sergeant Young and Baker wanted to be back at camp before fog descended. The officer arranged to purchase milk and eggs from them in two days’ time.
Unable to focus on anything other than Adam, Carrie agreed. She tried to comfort herself with the thought that he’d be better cared for in the hospital, but it didn’t alleviate her sorrow. She would visit him daily, no two ways about it. And when he felt better, maybe he could return to the cabin for a meal.
Moments before the men pulled away in the wagon to head back to their camp Carrie asked if it would be possible for her to see Adam the next day.
Baker gave her a concerned look. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I guess it wasn’t clear earlier. The doctor wanted to get him to camp so he could be furloughed. His fever is worse. The doctor fears he might not survive if he remains in our field hospital. Adam is going home tomorrow by rail.”
• CHAPTER THIRTEEN •
The next couple of weeks crawled by. Baker stopped by every two days with a couple of other soldiers. They returned an empty milk urn and left with a full urn, eggs, and butter. They didn’t pay with Confederate bills, but gave Carrie Union money that could be used at the commissary near the Union camp on Lookout Mountain or in Chattanooga.
Aunt Lavinia counted the cash after the soldiers left each time. The growing number of bills had a comforting effect on both women. They would be able to purchase items to replenish dwindling provisions—as long as supplies were available. Many items had been scarce for months, but they would make do. They always had.
Carrie always asked Baker for news of Adam but there was no word on whether he got home or died en route. Carrie tried not to think the worst but could not get the sight of his festering wound out of her mind or how tired Adam had looked before surgery. The rough road back to camp and then who knows how many days on a train ... the image was too much to bear. Did he make it home? Even if he did, would she ever see him again? With winter setting in, chances were Adam would remain home throughout the winter. Baker explained that by then his unit would probably be fighting the Confederates elsewhere.
The memory of his kiss before his surgery haunted her. Even at the time, she feared he didn’t believe he’d survive so the kiss held no promise for the future.
The possibility of never seeing him again robbed her of any happiness.
She had hoped that when he left, her heart would return to normal. It didn’t happen. The heartache didn’t diminish even with busy days.
With the work of the home and the increased amount of butter purchased by the soldiers, she had more than enough to occupy her time.
Even so, her thoughts and prayers never left Adam for more than a few minutes. Did he miss her? Did he ever think of her? She longed to see him, to find out for herself how he fared. She wondered if she would ever see him again. Could there be a future for a Union soldier and the daughter of a Confederate soldier?
One very good thing had come of the move back to the cabin. Aunt Lavinia’s attitude improved. The courtesy of the Union soldiers had gone a long way toward easing her terrible bitterness. She often sat in a rocking chair in front of the fireplace for several hours, sewing squares of cloth to make quilts. Since the extra cloth stored in the cellar had been taken while they lived at the cave, Carrie had decided one of her first purchases would be fabric.
With Christmas just a couple of days away, Carrie anticipated purchasing a few items at the camp commissary. Although Baker had picked up the normal amount of dairy supplies this morning, he had requested to return the next day to buy all they could spare for Christmas meals. Carrie decided to accompany him and the other Union soldiers back to the camp. She could purchase supplies, but her main goal was to visit the hospital where Adam had stayed one night in the hopes of hearing news of him. There might even be enough money left to buy Jay a Christmas present.
There hadn’t been any gifts last year.
But even with money for gifts, Christmas wouldn’t be a time of joy. Not for her.
Not without Adam.
Shortly before noon on Christmas Eve Carrie grabbed an empty basket and climbed down from the wagon. The brisk wind blew open her cloak and chilled her. She thanked the soldiers for the ride up the steep mountain, complimenting them on the improvements they had made to the road in such a short amount of time. The jutting boulders were gone from the mountain road along with the deep ruts. The ride up the mountain had been smooth and pleasant, though a bit nippy.
They appreciated the compliments. It must have been hard work. Baker pointed toward one of the buildings used as the commissary as well as the hospital where Adam had lain the night before he left for home.
Carrie’s gaze fastened on the former large home now serving as a hospital. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. So many blue coats milling about. But none of them Adam.
Her steps slowed as she approached the door. She’d have to control her emotions. To him, she had been simply the girl who rescued and nursed him. Why, someone as special as him probably had a girl waiting for him back home. Yes, she remembered him talking about someone with Jay. Of course, he wanted to go home. What wounded soldier would not? Why had she ever entertained thoughts that he would marry her and stay on the mountain?
Stepping resolutely to the fine wooden door, she knocked.
A stranger opened the door and stared at her curiously.
“I ... I’ve been told this is the hospital where Mr. Hendricks stayed one night after his surgery.”
He opened the door wider into what appeared to be the parlor of a wealthy homeowner. Men occupied several beds in the square room but it was the man standing beside the first bed, gathering his things, who captured her attention.
For a moment, Carrie feared for her sanity. She rubbed her eyes and looked again.
At the sound of her voice Adam turned his head so she only saw his profile. “Merry Christmas, Carrie.” His broad smile lightened her agonized fear for him. “I didn’t expect to see you on my first day back.”
She gasped, hardly able to believe her eyes. “Oh, Adam, it’s so good to see you. I ... we’ve been worried.”
“I was in pretty bad shape after surgery. Doc Hastings sent me home on furlough because he thought I’d die in the field hospital.” He frowned. “And most likely I would have. The infection got worse. Doctor back home said they almost lost me a couple of times. I don’t remember much. Only that in order to save me they had to ...”
The light went out of his eyes. He pivoted further so that he now faced her.
Carrie’s shocked gaze took in the empty sleeve of his blue uniform.
With his left hand he reached out and took hers. “They couldn’t save my arm, Carrie. After you fought so hard for it, too.” He gave her a tender glance. “I’ll never forget how you stood up to everyone for my sake. My guardian angel.”
She fought back tears. “Oh, Adam, I’m so ...” The words lodged in her throat with her unshed tears.
“Sorry?” His eyes searched hers. “Don’t be. Sometimes God answers our prayers by making us less so he can be more. So we can be more for others, but in a different way.”
It seemed an odd thing to say. “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
He dropped her hand and touched his empty sleeve. “I’ll never be a soldier again. That’s why I came back. I wanted to say goodbye to the men in my unit, my friends. But I’m done fighting.”
The depth of his unhappiness was apparent in the way his smile sagged. “Adam, you lost an arm. You’re not dead. You can do other things. Be a courier, a cook. Help in this hospital.”
An awkward silence fell between them. He glanced around, as if waiting for her to say something more. Or leave.
What happened to the man who fought so hard to live? Was he really ready to just give up? All because of a l
ost limb?
A change of topic might help. “Jay will be thrilled to hear you’re back on the mountain. Do you think you will have time to come visit?”
His smile briefly returned. “You know, I do miss that boy,” he said with a chuckle. “When I was in the hospital back home I thought about what Jay told me about him wanting to be a doctor. His gaze shifted momentarily to the empty sleeve, then back to her face. “We could sure use more good ones. Baker said he’d drive me down to your house in the ambulance. I hope that will be okay.”
“Of course. We’d love to have you over for a meal. Well, not Aunt Lavinia. You know how she feels about Yankees in her home. But I’ll make sure she minds her manners.”
He smiled and nodded. “I’d like that.”
The awkwardness returned. She felt a wall between them that had never been there before today. Perhaps their friendship hadn’t been as close as she had imagined. Maybe the real reason he came back wasn’t just to say so long to the men in his unit, but to tell her goodbye for ever. He had yet to mention his girl back home. Was that on purpose? Was he hoping to avoid the topic?
And he had not kissed her. Had not even tried. What did she mean to him?
The misery in his eyes filled her heart with sadness.
“I’m not a whole man. If I can’t fight for my country, what will I do?”
She couldn’t believe her ears. “A great many things. How about farming or working for the railroad? How about getting married and raising a family?”
He glanced at her quickly and drew a deep breath at her last question. “Who would want me now?”
Anger seared through her. “Adam Hendricks, I’m ashamed of you! What if you can’t lift some things or shoot a rifle or hold a baby with two arms? Do you think that matters? Do you really think any woman worth her salt would refuse to marry you for such a paltry reason?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
Adam stepped closer, towering over her. There was a hopeful gleam in his eyes that had been missing moments before. “What about you, Carrie? Would you refuse to marry someone with a missing arm or leg?”
“That wouldn’t be the reason I refused a proposal.” She glared at him. “I’m surprised you would ask such a question.”
“I hoped you’d say that.” His left hand reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small engagement ring. “Do you think you could ever love a Union soldier, Carrie Bishop?”
“I can’t believe you’d ask me that.”
“Well, can you?”
She covered his hand with hers as tears of joy filled her eyes. “Oh, I think that might be possible.”
Cheers from every man in the room dazed Carrie as she stared radiantly up into Adam’s eyes. The joy on his face was reflected in her heart.
“Carrie, when I kissed you last time, I believed myself to be at death’s door. It really made me want to live.” He grinned as she laughed happily. When their lips met, this time she felt the promise of the future.
“He pulled back, kissed her a second time swiftly, and said softly, “When the doctor back home told me the infection had spread to the muscles and that I’d lose my arm I thought I was done for. Figured I’d be a half-man the rest of my life and no use to anyone. But then I remembered how you cared for me and I know with you by my side I’ll be more of a man than I could ever be with both arms. Please, Carrie, say you’ll be my wife.”
As Adam slid his arm around her to hold her tightly, she buried her face in his chest.
No place on earth had ever felt so much like home.
Placing her lips close to his ear, she whispered, “Yes, Adam Hendricks. I will be your Mrs. Hendricks. Only ...” She pulled back and brushed away tears from her cheeks. “Don’t tell Aunt Lavinia. At least, not right off.” She looked up at him playfully. “If she finds out I'm marrying a Yankee it could start the battle of Lookout Mountain all over again.”
Note from the Author
The battle fought on Lookout Mountain, under the command of Major General Joseph Hooker, became known as “The Battle Above the Clouds” for the dense fog that blanketed much of the mountain during the battle.
As part of my research for the Civil War, I read books written by Union and Confederate soldiers who lived through it. These gave me a wonderful sense of everyday camp life, battles, and the men’s reactions to the war. Two of these books provided wonderful details for this story.
The first is My Life in the Irish Brigade: The Civil War Memoirs of Private William McCarter, 116th Pennsylvania Infantry, edited by Kevin E. O’Brien. William McCarter is shot in the arm during the Battle of Fredericksburg. A piece of the bullet was removed hours after the battle. This provided instant relief, but part of the bullet and seventeen bone fragments remained. The wound didn’t close and months later his doctor told William that he preferred it stay open until all the broken bones worked out of it, which took almost four years. His arm healed but was never as strong again.
As far as our story is concerned, I really wanted Adam to keep his arm. The doctor agreed to go the extra mile to try and save it because he didn’t have other patients clamoring for his attention. He didn’t feel the prospects were good for Adam keeping the arm, and he was right. Infection quickly set in and he lost it. Unfortunately, this was a reality for far too many Civil War soldiers.
The second Civil War soldier who influenced me wrote Memoirs of a Dutch Mudsill: The “War Memories” of John Henry Otto, Captain, Company D, 21st Regiment Wisconsin Volunteer Infantry, edited by David Gould and James B. Kennedy. John Otto was in Chattanooga during the siege. He described the starvation of the men and the joy of the soldiers who lined the Tennessee River as boats brought food for the troops. The men were so starved that they overate. It created stomach complaints. A few even died. Along with the 78th Pennsylvania, John’s 21st Wisconsin regiment was assigned to camp on Lookout Mountain on December 2, 1863. They stayed near a resort village that he called “Summerville,” though other sources referred to it as “Summertown.” He also talked about Union sympathizers who lived in caves on the mountain. These families had moved everything they could into the caves with them. Whatever they left in their homes was gone when they returned. Now that Union soldiers occupied the mountain, they felt free to roam about again. John arranged to buy wine from one of these men.
All of the speaking characters in this book are fictional except one. I used John Otto as the lieutenant in the Union camp that Carrie visits. I wanted to thank him for providing so much wonderful information in this small way.
All of the generals, divisions, and regiments in the story were in Chattanooga. A few accounts talked about Brigadier General Whitaker drinking before the battle. As this would have been Adam’s first time to serve under him, he would surely have noticed this in his commanding officer.
Most people left when armies occupied their town during the Civil War, even if they supported that army’s side. Big and small battles erupted where soldiers went, and innocent bystanders could easily be hurt or killed. Though the leaders preferred townspeople to leave, some stayed. There were folks too ill to travel. Others had nowhere to go or were too poor to leave.
To research this story, my husband and I traveled to Chattanooga. We visited Point Park Battlefield and The Battles for Chattanooga Electric Map & Museum on Lookout Mountain. The view is breathtaking from the Point Park Battlefield, part of the Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Park. Standing next to the cannons near the cliffs, I tried to imagine the feelings of those who defended and those who attacked. If you are interested in learning more, this may be a good place for a weekend visit.
Thanks for going back with me to 1863 and spending time on Lookout Mountain. I hope that we meet again on another battlefield or a different historical setting.
Sandra Merville Hart
Acknowledgements
The author wishes to thank Paul McDonell at The Battles of Chattanooga Electric Map & Museum in Lookout Mountain, Tennessee, for his w
illingness to answer questions about the battle and Chattanooga area history.
Many thanks go to Julie Gwinn, editor, for her encouragement and helpful suggestions to strengthen the story. The author also appreciates the support of Barbara King and Michele Creech, author representatives. Thanks to Eddie Jones, Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas, for the opportunity to publish this story. The author wishes to thank her agent, Joyce Hart of Hartline Literary Agency, who believed in her first.
The author extends grateful appreciation to writer and author friends who added to the success of the book in various ways. The list includes: Lisa Carter, Daphne Woodall, Marianne Jordan, Terri Kelly, Erin Unger, Becky McGurrin, Felicia Bowen Bridges, Phyllis Freeman, Mary Ellis, Rosanna Huffman, Carole Brown, Sharon Lavy, Michelle Levigne, Catherine Castle, Angie Arndt, Tamera Lynn Kraft, Rebecca Waters, Ane Mulligan, Lena Nelson Dooley, and Katherine M. Pasour, PhD.
Special thanks go to my family and friends for their love and support. I love you all.
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A Stranger On My Land - A Civil War Romance Page 8