by E. M. Moore
I accidentally run into a girl who apologizes profusely like I’m going to haul off and punch her in the face. I smirk because… Well, it’s kind of nice to be feared. Especially when you’ve spent most of your life afraid. I glance up and meet a pair of deep blue eyes.
I stop, and Oscar runs into me from behind. We both stumble, but I’m too fixated on the guy standing at the end of the hall to care.
He’s stopped, too. He clutches his book bag to him while we stare at one another.
Fucking shit. He’s alive.
Brawler…he’s here.
8
I didn’t realize how much I was worried about him until right this moment. So many people told me he would be okay that I started to believe it. I just automatically assumed he was out here waiting for his chance to check in. To find me. But right now, I also recognize the weight being lifted off me, and the heat behind my eyes pooling in the corners.
“Shit,” Oscar curses. “Not right here.”
He pulls me into the women’s room and tells all the girls in there to get the fuck out. Crew business. They all scramble from the room, apologizing to us. There’s even one girl who runs from the stall, still pulling up her underwear. I watch in disbelief, but in the next moment, Brawler strides through the door, and I don’t give a fuck anymore.
I go to him, throwing my arms around his wide shoulders.
Oscar sighs angrily behind us, then moves to the door, probably settling against it to make sure no one comes in while we have our reunion.
“I was worried,” I manage to get out.
He holds me tighter. “I was hoping you’d come back to school. I was fucking trapped. Reaching out to you would’ve just drawn unwanted attention, and fuck, I knew you’d be upset.”
“Not sure I got a hug when I came back,” Oscar grunts.
I roll my eyes. He got more than a hug, and he fucking knows it. “At least you didn’t get slapped,” I tell him.
“I’m not opposed to it.” Brawler looks over his shoulder, sending Oscar a dirty look. He’s no doubt picturing slapping Oscar himself.
I sink my fingers into his shirt. “I was talking about Johnny.”
Brawler twists to face me again. “You slapped Johnny?”
Oscar is smirking big time now. I guess it is kind of funny. “A few times.”
“Good. Fucker,” Brawler all but growls.
“Did you know what was going to happen?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Of course not. It would’ve been nice to know, though, Dickhead.”
Oscar pushes off the bathroom door. Brawler spins, putting me behind him like he’s going to protect me. Oscar gets in his face. “You two don’t seem to realize I can’t fucking say shit. I explained to Kyla why I didn’t tell her, but I don’t owe you fucking anything. I don’t fucking owe you a heads up if you’re not even going to join the Crew. You want to know what’s going down, you know how to fix that, don’t you?”
I shake my head. “No, no. Brawler is not joining the Crew.” I maneuver between the two of them and push them apart. “Fuck that. No one should join the Crew who doesn’t have to.”
“Then he needs to stop whining about what he doesn’t know.”
“Alright,” I say, raising my voice. Above us, the warning bell rings. I just hope it’s not the bell that signals the beginning of a fight. I can’t have these two at war with one another. If we’re going to all get out of this, we’ll need each other.
The two stare one another down. Neither one of them apologizes, though that shouldn’t be a surprise either. I turn to Brawler, my face twisting into a smile. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I tell him. A warmth envelops my chest.
He smiles back, his Adam’s apple moving underneath the ink on his throat. “I was so relieved when I heard people talking about not only how you beat up a grown-ass man but survived a shootout. I think you’re more than just the Uppercut Princess now. You’re like the Heights Princess.”
I shake my head. That fucking nickname. Maybe Oscar’s right. It’s never going away now. Not until I get the hell out of the Heights, anyway.
“I’m not trying to rush,” Oscar says, “but let’s wrap this up. We can talk at lunch.”
I squeeze Brawler’s hands. “Johnny put Oscar in charge of looking after me at school. That’s how I was able to come back. I’m going to all his classes today.”
Brawler squints, but then light fires in his eyes, like he’s already put together why I’d be going to all his classes. “Okay. See you at lunch.”
“Lunch,” I say, like it’s a promise.
Oscar and I walk out of the bathroom first. When we’re just about to turn the corner toward Oscar’s first class, the bathroom door swooshes open again, but I don’t look back even though seeing Brawler for the first time in four days was one of the happiest moments of my life.
“Are you sure you like both of us?” Oscar teases. His arm twitches between us like he wants to throw it over my shoulder but can’t. We’re all working against our own natural instincts here. For a moment, I imagine telling Johnny I’m seeing Oscar and Brawler. For a split second, I even imagine what it would feel like if he was okay with it, but that would never happen.
In Johnny’s eyes, I’m his. I’ve never been a proponent of owning someone. Even when married, you don’t belong to someone. You cohabitate because you want to. Because you wouldn’t want to with anyone else. Johnny didn’t grow up with the same morals others do. Hell, Oscar and Brawler are different, too. The Heights is like another dimension with different rules, laws, and codes that makes it hard to navigate. But for the time being, that’s what I have to do. I don’t have a choice. I not only want to stay here to avenge my parents, I’m a part of this world now. I can’t leave until I escape, and I’m not escaping until I put a bullet between Big Daddy K’s eyes.
Just as I thought, none of the teachers blink an eye when I show up in all of Oscar’s classes. No one gives us shit either when Oscar tells the person he sits next to in every class to vacate their seat so I can sit in it. In fact, some even ask me about my fights. They act like the shootout was UFC 238. They gloss over the fact that people died there. Or maybe it’s just such a part of their world that it doesn’t affect them like it should. Either way, the ones I’ve spoken to about it can’t wait for me to fight again, most of them asking when my next fight is so they can come watch.
Oscar fields those questions. He’s like a politician of the gang world. He’s a smooth talker, making everything sound good even though it might be a pile of shit with sparkly accessories to dress it up.
On our way to lunch, we come across Nevaeh in the hall. She looks us over but has the brain cells to keep going without saying anything. Now, I wouldn’t need to hold back if I wanted to kick her ass. I’m sure it would look good to everyone else, too. As Johnny says, ‘we don’t give fights away for free’, but a teaser certainly couldn’t hurt. Plus, I fucking owe her a few bruises.
We get to lunch and find Brawler sitting in the corner of the room by himself, telling everyone to fuck off when they try to sit with him. When we sit, the annoyances double with everyone trying to sit with us until pretty much everyone takes a seat at another table, leaving us three to ourselves.
It’s difficult as fuck to sit next to two guys you’re attracted to and not flirt, touch their hand, or, you know, act like you like them. I might as well wear a nun outfit while I’m at school now, and trust me, the outfit Glo brought for me to wear is a far cry away from the ample black and white fabric and headpieces nuns wear. I’m in a crop top and booty shorts, but on the upside, I do fit in with everyone else now, so there’s that. If I gave a fuck about fitting in, I might feel better about coming to school now. I don’t.
“So, what’s happened?” Brawler asks, keeping his voice low. “Is it safe to come back?”
Oscar nods. “According to K, they got all the top dogs under Roza, so they won’t be retaliating. We’re clear until the next shit happens.”
/>
“Next shit?”
Oscar’s lips thin. “There’s always something, Princess.”
I sigh, and he grins at me. He fucking knows I hate that name. He just loves to get under my skin.
Brawler pulls his bag onto the table. “I forgot to give this to you this morning.” He pulls out my sweatshirt and hands me my cell phone. “I had it in my hand when shit went down, and somehow, the phone stayed in the pocket. I tried texting you and your pocket went off. That’s how I knew I was stuck unless you came back to school.”
“You could’ve showed up at the tower.”
“I figured it would be suspicious.”
Oscar looks away, but I want to hug Brawler. I can’t believe he has my phone. Now I won’t be so isolated when I’m at Johnny’s place. “Thank you,” I tell him. My mind automatically flicks to my other phone. If anything, that’s more of a priority. “Do you know if anyone has gone through my apartment? Johnny mentioned whoever was left of Roza’s people would’ve gone there.”
Brawler picks up his fork. “Haven’t seen anything, but I didn’t actually look either. Are you coming back?”
Oscar’s laugh cuts through the air. “Seriously? You think Johnny’s going to let her out of his sight? Not after what happened with Glo he’s not.”
Brawler frowns, looking to me for an explanation.
I kick Oscar under the table, but I’m not going to get out of it that easy. Brawler locks his blue eyes onto mine and doesn’t let up. I sigh. Brawler’s not going to like this. “Glo, the girl who works for Lynette? She tried to kill me.”
“What?” Brawler seethes, his voice like a buoy untethered in a storm.
“Yep,” Oscar says, gloating a bit. “Johnny asked Lynette to bring some clothes by. Glo showed up instead. Her brother was a part of the Crew. He died during the shootout, and she was there to get her revenge.”
Brawler’s gaze flicks to me.
I sink back into my seat and don’t say anything. I cast Oscar a dirty look.
“The gun misfired,” Oscar throws in for good measure.
“Hey, I didn’t tell you that part,” I protest.
“You think Johnny didn’t read me the riot act when he ordered me to watch you? You’re not to leave my sight. If you have to pee, I’m pretty sure I have to pee with you.”
“Well, that’ll be a sight.”
“I mean, I wouldn’t mind seeing you with your pants down.” He wags his eyebrows. “The bathroom’s not my number one choice, but...”
He winks at me, and I give him a look, but a smile creeps across my face at the same time. Brawler doesn’t find any of this funny though. “I can’t believe she went after you.”
“I don’t think she technically went after me. I was just the easy target, and she wanted to make them suffer like she was suffering.”
“Don’t give her excuses,” Oscar says, his tone finally giving the gravity of the situation away. “You’re not a part of this. She shouldn’t have gone after you.”
I press my lips together. I disagree. I’ve gotten myself a part of this. “I’m just saying I understand why she would want to do what she did.”
I go back to eating, but Brawler watches me with a frown. I try to avoid his eyes, but it’s impossible seeing as how I’m sitting across from him and I haven’t seen him in four whole worrisome days.
“I’ll check in with the Crew to see if they need my help watching you again.”
I shake my head. “Johnny says I’m going to be in the fights now…at your warehouse. I’m going to tell him I want to train with you.”
“Like he’s going to let that happen.” Oscar pushes his tray away with disinterest.
“Actually…I think he will. He told me he wants to make me happy.”
Both Brawler and Oscar glare at me. I’m trying to hide the odd feelings I have for Johnny, but I’m afraid they’re written all over the surface.
A jovial male voice perks up behind us. “Hey, Bat. What’s up?” I look around Oscar to find the asshole who manhandled me the first day in school taking a seat next to him. I glower at him, and he just nods at me.
Before the guys can even tell him to get up, I do. “Get the fuck out of here.”
He laughs like I’m joking, but I’m far from fucking playing with this asshole. This guy is a piece of trash. A bully.
I cross my arms. “Did I stutter?”
He looks between Brawler and Oscar, but they’re content letting me play this one out.
I stand, leaning over Oscar to tower over him. “You think it’s funny to manhandle women.” The back of my neck heats remembering his rough touch. The way he wanted me to call Oscar master. I don’t care if he is Heights Crew, that shit needs to stop. “You’re a coward.”
“Oh, come on,” the guy says, laughter still playing over his lips, but his eyes are searching for a way out of this. “You were no one then. Give me a break. We were told to fuck with you.”
“Well, good.” I smirk as I move around Oscar and come up behind him. “I’ve been told I can do whatever the fuck I want now, so…” I grab the side of his face and smash it against the table in front of us, pinning him there. He doesn’t try to stop me. His face turns a furious shade of red, and he breathes out his nose like a caged bull. I must be deranged because I find the whole thing funny. “New rule. You don’t get to fucking talk in my presence. If you do, I get to kick your fucking ass. You are no longer Oscar’s little bitch. You’re not friends. You don’t speak. If you see me coming in the hallway, walk the other fucking way. If you don’t, I’m calling you out in the fights, and then the whole school can watch when I destroy your bitch ass. Do you understand?”
He groans as I press harder. “Yes,” he chokes, the one word coming out strangled.
I let him up and step back, allowing him room to retreat. He does so, swiping his hands down his face and straightening his shirt. Everyone’s looking at us. The cafeteria has quieted because what’s happening in this corner is much more interesting than anything else. He does his walk of shame away from our table, and I take a seat where I belong.
Oscar grins. “Why did that just turn me the fuck on?”
Brawler flicks his gaze toward the guy walking away. “You just ruined his life.”
My breath leaves me. I stick my chin in the air. The guy’s an asshole. He doesn’t deserve the Crew.
But at the same time, Brawler’s right. I have a hell of a lot more power than I think I do. If I told Johnny that guy—or anyone for that matter—fucked with me, he’d have them killed. Disposed of. Taken away without a second thought.
Power is awesome, but it’s also scary as fuck.
I’ll have to remember that next time I want to get revenge on someone who’s just a fucking scumbag and not a murderer.
9
I spend the last period of the day texting Johnny, telling him Brawler’s at school and that he had my phone. He writes back that getting me a new phone was on his to-do list, so he’s glad I have my old one back.
The fact that he would even be thinking about my cell phone amidst everything else is just extraordinary. In any other dimension, Johnny would’ve been the nicest guy. Behavior is learned, right? Not inherent. I’ve never been a science or psych type of person, but that’s what I think. Imagine if decent human beings had brought up Johnny. He’d probably be a disciple of Mother Theresa.
When I ask Johnny if Brawler and I can train after school, his response is slow. I imagine him fighting against his own initial reactions. Like he’s trying to do better for me. But the reality is, he might just be in another meeting and can’t write me back right away. Either way, when the response does come, he says yes.
I slip my phone to Oscar whose eyebrows rise into his hairline. He turns toward me, not giving a fuck that the teacher in front of the class is lecturing about something pertaining to biology. To be fair, the teacher doesn’t care either because he’s just reading from the textbook, which we could all do ourselves, anyway. Lean
ing toward me, Oscar whispers, “I didn’t know he was capable of it, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s in love with you, Princess.”
I press my lips together and grab my phone back. His words ricochet through my head. Is someone like Johnny even capable of love? Like, real love. Not what someone like him might think love is, but bone-deep, Earth-shattering, raw-to-the-core love.
I don’t know if I’ll ever find out.
School ends. On a scale of one to ten, I’d give it a seven for getting me out of the tower instead of hanging out by myself all day. While walking down the hallway, Oscar and I run into Brawler. “I hear I’m taking you training?” he questions. “And if you get hurt on my watch, I’m dead.”
I shrug. “Is it wrong if I say, ‘sounds reasonable to me’?” I laugh nervously because Johnny doesn’t make idle threats.
Brawler steps up to me, clearly not finding Johnny’s remarks humorous at all. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you because I don’t want anything to happen to you. Not because he ordered it.”
I can’t wait to kiss him. I can’t wait to throw my arms around him and lose myself in him. He must see it in my face because his jaw tenses. Once, Brawler told me that a lesser man wouldn’t walk away if I gave him that look. What will it mean if he doesn’t walk away? I mean, right now, we would get ourselves killed, but I’m talking about when there aren’t a bunch of prying eyes.
“I’ve got practice,” Oscar says, glancing away from the moment Brawler and I are sharing.
I turn toward him, standing there awkwardly. I can’t really give him a hug, so instead, I say, “Have a good practice.” It’s lame as fuck, but he doesn’t mind.
He looks at me, a wistful smile on his face. “I guess we’ll do this all again tomorrow?”
“Most definitely,” I say, already eager to get out of the tower again. Thankfully, today went so smoothly there’s no reason why Johnny won’t let me come back.