by E. M. Moore
Magnum lifts a single shoulder like he’s a tough guy and can take everything I throw at him. I definitely agree with that. He’s already saved my life once. I would like to know how he keeps all these muscles hidden under his shirts though. Brawler’s got a bit of size on him, but Magnum’s build is more the quick and deadly type. Lethal. Agile. I should know. The way he diffused the situation with Johnny last night was awe-inspiring from a tactical point of view.
I sit on Mag’s couch as he busies himself in the kitchen. I expected his place to be squeaky clean since he always looks so put together, but his apartment looks so lived in. Johnny looks like he’s barely there. Mine already has clothes strewn around it, and last I knew there were dishes in the sink, though I’m sure those have already been taken care of by housekeeping, but Mag’s place looks homey despite all the stark lines.
In a few minutes, he joins me on the couch with his own mug of cocoa. We sit back, and I take a sip. I don’t know where he got this hot chocolate, but it’s ten times more chocolatey than the stuff I have. I take another sip. The steam rises in front of my nose and billows toward the ceiling.
“You’re sure you’re okay?” Mag asks. He lifts an eyebrow as he studies me. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
I shake my head.
Relief is palpable on his face. “I didn’t think he would, but I was worried all night. I almost didn’t want to leave, but I know staying wouldn’t have calmed him down.”
My cheeks heat, and it has nothing to do with the temperature of the drink I’m swallowing. “Has he done that before?”
Mag quirks a brow. “Asked me to sleep with his girlfriend?”
I burst out laughing, almost spluttering the hot chocolate out of my mouth. “Well, no. I would hope not!”
“He hasn’t even had a regular girl before.”
“Regular?”
Magnum looks away. “You know, someone he keeps around. Someone he asks us to watch. Someone that if something happens to, he’d lose it. He threatens us daily that if you get hurt, we’re done, and he doesn’t mean he’s firing us, Kyla.”
I nod, feelings welling up inside. I can’t dwell too much on that sentiment because I don’t know what to do with it. My gut tells me it’ll likely be impossible to get Johnny to go against his father. Even if it is for me. Plus, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to be doing the same thing to him that his father did to me. At the end of all this, I am killing his loved one.
What kind of person does that make me?
“Well, I was hoping he hadn’t done that before,” I tell Magnum honestly. “I meant has he ever freaked out on you?”
“On me?” Mag shakes his head, taking a sip of his hot chocolate and setting it down on a coaster on the coffee table in front of us. I glance around the room, noticing one weird thing. There’s no TV in here. That’s just…odd. “That’s not to say I haven’t seen him do other questionable things.”
“Will he hurt me?” I have a gut feeling I know the answer to this, but I want to make sure my feelings are correct.
Magnum shakes his head slowly. “Everything in my gut tells me no. You’d have to do a lot to get him to hurt you. I mean, physically. There are a lot of ways people can hurt you that aren’t physical pain.”
“Like banging a girl in a fitting room?”
His expression turns serious as he nods. “And like ordering someone to have sex with you.”
It’s hard for me to wrap my head around that. If I had to analyze what was going through Johnny’s head last night, I’d say he was trying to help in some fucked up way. He felt bad that he kept bringing me to the brink only to pull away at the last minute. He so badly wants to follow his father’s rules that he was trying to solve a problem. Girlfriend needs relief, and he can’t do it? Grab the closest person he could find.
I shift in the seat, and Magnum puts his hand on my knee. “I hope you don’t feel uncomfortable with me now.”
I take a deep breath and meet his eyes. “It wasn’t your fault, but it was awkward as fuck. Not to mention scary. Don’t you agree?”
Again, Mag focuses on my eyes even though it feels as if he’s peeling the layers of my clothing off. My body flushes, and I finally put the hot chocolate down, so I can disseminate if it’s Mag who’s giving me hot flashes or the drink itself. “I would rather he hadn’t freaked out while you were in the room.”
Seeing that desperate side of Johnny helped me see who he really is though. I lick my lips, eyeing Magnum. “You said we’re friends, right?”
He nods.
“How far does that friendship extend?”
He lifts his brows, already trying to figure out where I’m going with this.
“I’m not asking you to fuck me.”
His cheeks turn a soft shade of red, easily recognizable even with his copper scruff. His skin is so light that it shows everything. “I’m wondering if it extends to me saying something about Big Daddy K?”
Magnum stiffens.
Well, that’s my answer. “Forget it,” I say, reaching for my mug.
“No. No,” Magnum says, and I don’t know if he’s convincing me or himself. He squeezes my knee again. “You’re misinterpreting my reaction.” He gives me a solid nod as if to tell me to continue.
I take a deep breath. “After you left last night, Johnny opened up to me. You know I’m new here, so…” The lie churns my stomach after just confirming with Magnum that we were friends, but I’m pretty sure I just can’t go off spouting to one of the Crew’s bodyguards that I want to murder the Crew leader. “…well, it made me think twice about the kind of person he is. Johnny seems to look up to him so much, but to be honest, with what he told me last night, he sounds like a master manipulator. Someone maybe Johnny shouldn’t be around.” I don’t dare mention the fact that K thought it would be a good idea that I take up stripping. That can’t get around. Johnny will lose his shit.
Magnum brushes his scruff with his hand. “Big Daddy K is ruthless. You have to be to get to the top of the Heights Crew. I’m sure you figured that out already.” He eyes me, doing one of his bone-deep gazes again. “If you’re asking if Johnny should get away from him, the answer is, he can’t.” Mag shakes his head. “Nor would he probably want to.”
Sourness churns my stomach.
“You haven’t lived your whole life here, so you don’t get it. The Crew is family. It’s all they know. For Johnny, it’s double that because the Crew leader is actually his flesh and blood. Johnny’s been indoctrinated into this way of life since he was a baby. Most of us, we don’t come around until we’re teenagers. We make our own decisions. Even those of us who had siblings or parents in the Crew, it’s not the same as having someone like Big Daddy K in your family.”
“You had a family member in the Crew?”
An intoxicating mix of pain and guilt crosses Mag’s face. “My father.”
“Is he still in it?” I ask, wracking my brain to see if I’ve encountered anyone who looks like Magnum. It seems like the red hair would be a give away.
“No,” Magnum says simply. “He’s dead.” He runs his hand through his copper mane. “That’s why I feel so protective of you, Kyla.”
I cock my head. I don’t know what his father’s death and protecting me have in common.
“Over and above what I’m ordered to do, anyway.” He runs a hand over his chest absentmindedly. “You remind me of my mom.” He takes another sip of cocoa again before putting it back down on the coffee table. “She didn’t want my dad—our family—associated with the Crew, but my dad was a smart businessman. He wasn’t a thug or one of these low lives you see out on the street. He was cunning and smart. That’s not to say he didn’t do questionable things. If you’re in the Crew, your morality will be called into question. Even mine,” he says, piercing me with a glare. “But my mom was an innocent. My dad hid who he was working for from her until it was too late. You can’t just get out of the grips of the Crew.”
My mo
uth is suddenly dry. “You sound as if you don’t like the Crew. Yet, your job is to literally keep them safe.”
“Protecting people is my responsibility, Kyla,” he says, gaze burning. “I understand that just because you might do something wrong or bad or illegal, doesn’t make you a bad person. Just as if you go to church every Sunday and preach religion doesn’t technically make you a good person. There are gray areas. Hell, a lot of life is a gray area.”
I lean back into Magnum’s couch. He’s right about that. My whole life is a gray area. “Maybe it’s your individual decisions that make you good or bad?”
“In the end,” Mag says, “My dad made the right decision. It cost him his life, but…” He shrugs.
“Your mom?”
His jaw hardens. “I don’t see her anymore.”
His tone ends the conversation. He looks away, and if what he told me about his mom in the beginning of this talk holds true, I bet she doesn’t want to see him because of who he works for.
If she was able to get out, more power to her. I hope she’s safe. Just as I hope to be her one day, as long as living in this world doesn’t corrupt me. I like the idea of being gray. Gray, I can handle. The darkness, I can’t.
22
For weeks, my life is a replay over and over again. School. Training. Fighting. Getting in as much time as I can with Oscar and Brawler while solidifying my relationship with Johnny. He and his father must have come to a conclusion about what pissed Johnny off at Candy’s because me stripping is never brought up again and every time we have an after party at Candy’s, his father doesn’t show up even though I’m positive he comes to all my fights.
I don’t trust his intentions.
My door drifts open. I’m half asleep on Monday morning, but I shoot straight up in bed.
“It’s me, it’s me.”
I blink at the doorway to find Johnny there. It’s early, but he’s already dressed in a suit with his dark hair perfectly coiffed. “Hey,” I croak out.
Since the night he pulled a gun on Magnum, all we’ve done is kiss, even though I try to avoid doing that. He strides over while I try to get my hair to calm down. “You,” he says, taking my hand as I run it through my hair. “Are beautiful no matter what.”
My face heats. Johnny is intense, and I crave it. I crave him. Every word he says feels like it’s perfectly chosen just for me. The conversation we had that night has only strengthened our bond, though I know it’s stupid. “You know just what to say to a girl,” I tease.
He beams back, and the bed depresses while he sits. “I have to leave for a couple of days.”
“Couple of days?”
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “Something came up. We’ll be back on Wednesday. My dad has a dinner that night. Some other higher-ups in the Crew will be there. He wants us both there.”
Johnny can’t keep the smile off his face. “What is it?” I ask.
“He’s going to move forward with me moving up. He’s liked my business choices lately. It won’t be long until we can take our relationship to the next level. Officially. And unofficially,” he says, running his fingers up the inside of my arm. My skin tingles in his wake. I can’t help the way my body heats. I’ve been able to spend more intimate moments with Brawler and Oscar, but that doesn’t diminish the way I want Johnny. No matter how recklessly stupid it is.
“That’s great news.”
Johnny can barely hold his excitement back. He presses me down into the bed and hovers over me, feathering soft kisses over my face. Before long, he finds my mouth, delving his tongue inside for a short, hot kiss. We both know not to push each other. It’s just enough. Johnny groans and pulls away from me. “Magnum’s going to watch you. You’re safe with him.”
“I know.”
“And I’ll call you, so have your phone on you.”
“Of course,” I promise.
He nuzzles my neck. “Bye, babe. Think of me.” His lips linger on my neck before he leaves the room. When he’s gone, I begrudgingly throw the covers off and pad toward the shower. Johnny leaving could mean two things. One: I’ll be bored as fuck. Or, two: I’ll have more leeway and can spend time with Oscar and Brawler. Even Magnum. He and I have become quite friendly. When Johnny is at long meetings and I happen to be at the apartment without an excuse to leave, we often find ourselves in one another’s company. Sometimes, we just talk. Other times, he lets me use his weights. He never comes into my apartment though, and every time I try to invite him in, he tells me to come over instead.
I wash my hair and lather up my body. I’m under the spray when a noise grabs my attention. Johnny is the only one who comes into my apartment unannounced. Alarm bells sounding off inside my head, I shut the shower off, pausing where I stand only to hear another clicking sound.
I step out, careful to be as quiet as possible as I wrap my body in a towel before moving into my bedroom, going to my bag, and taking out the knife Magnum gave me. I keep it steady in my hand as I exit my room. I stalk through my apartment and stop. The knob of my apartment door moves. I shoot forward, ripping the door open and thrusting the knife in front of me only to find a surprised Oscar standing there. I look both ways down the hall. “What are you doing?” I hiss.
He grabs a hairpin from the lock on my door and pushes me inside my apartment, avoiding the knife shoved toward him. “Surprising you.” He takes the blade from me, closes it, and sets it on the kitchen counter. “I heard the big bosses were off. They left a little while ago.”
“I know,” I confirm. “Johnny came in to tell me he wouldn’t be back until Wednesday.”
Oscar devours me with his gaze. When he gets to the top of my head, he smirks. “You didn’t finish washing your hair.”
“I thought someone was breaking into my apartment,” I whisper yell. “Of course, I didn’t finish.”
Oscar completely ignores the part that I would have a reason to be cautious and goes right for teasing me. “Why are you still whispering?”
I grin and shake my head. “You love doing that, don’t you?”
“What?”
“Working me up.”
He reaches behind him and locks my apartment door. He stalks forward, gaze penetrating mine. He eyes the knot in my towel like he wishes it would just fall apart. Oscar and I haven’t had a lot of time together. Only at school. The football season is coming to a close. Not that you’d know it when you walked into school. No one cares. Oscar, however, puts all of his attention into it like his team is going all the way.
Oscar shakes his head. “Not sorry. I swear I didn’t come over for a booty call. I just knew we’d have a chance to see each other without fear of anyone dropping by.”
I take him in. He has on a backwards hat lower over his forehead. His tan skin highlights his dark features. Oscar has confident badass down to a T. “It’s a good thing you didn’t come over for a booty call because you wouldn’t be getting one by calling it a fucking booty call.”
I arch a brow at him, and he smirks.
“Hmm, is that a challenge?”
At school, girls flock around Oscar. Nevaeh is out of the picture, of course, but he’s still a hot commodity. High up in the Crew. Gorgeous. Football quarterback. Plus, he’s genuinely a nice guy once you get through his sarcasm.
I turn. “I don’t have time for this. I have to finish my shower. Creeper.”
He’s following me, and I love it. I turn the shower back on and drop my towel. Oscar moans behind me as I step inside the stall, the distorted glass hiding my true figure. I continue washing the soap off my body like he didn’t even interrupt me. Through the glass, though, I find Oscar leaning up against the wall, staring. Once I’m done with my normal shower routine, I run my hands over my chest, squeezing my breasts while I eye him from the corner of my eye.
Oscar groans. “Seriously?”
“You’re the one who barged in on me this morning.”
“You always touch yourself while you’re
taking a shower?”
“Mmm, maybe,” I say, flicking my nipple. He can’t see exactly what I’m doing, but he gets the gist.
“Fuck it,” he says. He moves forward, opening the door. He pulls me out of the spray, carrying me to his chest. My drenched body soaks right through his clothes as he takes me to the bed, laying me out there, my feet hanging over the side. He gets to his knees, shoving my knees apart while he buries his face between my legs.
“Oh God,” I pant as his delicious tongue laps at me.
He licks the length of me, swirling around my clit. “Now tell me I can’t have you. Tell me you don’t want this.”
Fuck me for thinking this, but it’s nice to have Johnny gone. I can act on all my fantasies. As long as we’re behind closed doors, anyway. I pin Oscar’s face to my core. “If you move, I’ll shank you.”
He chuckles, but the humor dies as he devours me with his mouth. Oscar has an expert touch in this arena. It’s not long until I’m warning him I’m going to come. I’m too far gone to want him to pull away, but if he wants to be inside me while I orgasm, then that’s fine, too. He just needs to hurry.
He doesn’t pull away. He renews his attentions, the tip of his tongue flicking over my clit until I come so hard I see stars.
Oscar stands. He starts to step away, but I pull myself up and reach for his shirt, grabbing it so he doesn’t get too far. Desire floods his ravenous eyes.
“You’re not getting away,” I tell him. I carefully unclasp his jeans, forcing them down his muscular thighs. His boxers tent in front of me. I run my hands up his strong legs before grabbing the top of his boxers and moving them over his hips until his cock springs free. I lean forward, licking his slit.
“Princess,” he warns.
With a tight grip on his hips, I move him back as I sink to my knees in front of him. With one hand clasping his ass, I reach the other one up, nails scraping against his washboard abs. I’ve sucked dick before. I don’t know that I’ve ever wanted to do it this badly though.
I lick the underside from balls to tip, and he jerks in front of me. Precum oozes out, and I lick that too. Oscar runs his hands through my hair. “You don’t have to.”