His

by Fiona Murphy

  Ooh, okay, I love this one. A Mac Duggal pleated dress with a plunging neckline that covers everything. It’s a beautiful vibrant blue that looks good against my skin. Once it came I had it altered as Lydia recommended, and brought the hemline up and added slits to the thigh on each side. It’s an elegant dress, I don’t feel like I’m pretending to be a woman in it—I am one. It also highlights all my curves in a way that is sexy, not sex.

  Out of my room I find Dominic stalking the length of the living room. When he sees me he stops, those dimples flash, hitting me in my tummy. I’m frozen where I stand as he moves toward me, so fucking gorgeous in a black suit, white shirt, and black silk tie.

  Thousands of men are walking around in something similar at this very moment, but not one of them could come close to him. His large hands capture my face and I shiver at his gentle yet firm touch. The kiss he presses against my lips is soft, almost gentle, it doesn’t stop the bones in my body melting. “Beautiful. Tomorrow is our wedding day and already it feels like too long.”

  I agree wholeheartedly.

  “I’m going to warn you now. You will encounter many men tonight. None of them is allowed to touch you for longer than a very brief hug. No one touches you but me. Do you understand?”

  At first I think he must be joking; the smoke in his voice warns me he is not. I don’t even bother to argue, simply nod. I’m a freak, a weirdo, for the wet heat his words induce. His possessiveness should make me scream at him that I belong to no one. I would be lying. I’ve belonged to him since the moment I first laid eyes on him.

  Those blue eyes darken with satisfaction. “Such a good girl.”

  Taking my hand, he leads me into the elevator. Pressing the button, he squeezes my hand. My nerves disappear at the way Dominic is looking at me.

  As I enter the club behind Dominic, my eyes go big trying to take everything in. Wow, it’s...just wow. When Dominic had told me members paid over thirty thousand dollars a year for their membership, I figured it was to pay for a serious gambling addiction. As I look around, I see it’s not just for gambling.

  A pretty dark-haired woman is watching me and smiling. “Right? Do you know he once called it a bar? This is not a bar. Hi, I’m Bethany. I totally understand why Dominic has been keeping you all to himself. You are soo freaking pretty. And tall, wow.”

  Then without another word, she hugs me. I’m not usually a hugger. I don’t hesitate to return it, though. I’m afraid to offend, and it’s a nice hug.

  In succession, I’m introduced to Alicia, who is Bethany’s sister and married to Cesare, the oldest Sabatini. Then Chloe, who is married to Enzo. Despite what Dominic said about being able to hug his cousins, the first time Dante, Bethany’s husband, put a hand on my arm, before he even tried to hug me a growl came out of Dominic. Dante simply chuckled, punched Dominic in the shoulder and teased him about how it wasn’t so funny now, was it?

  After that, it’s a nod only to Enzo and Cesare. They all look so like Dominic it’s spooky. There are differences, of course, yet a casual glance would tell anyone they were all family. Then Tony is there. His hair isn’t gray—no, that would be too boring—it’s silver that glints through his ink-black hair and beard.

  He hugs me tight, whispering, “At last, the daughter I always longed for. So beautiful. My son is the luckiest man in Chicago.”

  It’s a strong, sweet hug, I have no idea why it brings tears to my eyes. “Thank you.” I barely manage to get the words out around the lump in my throat.

  ***

  Regina

  Tony, Dominic and his cousins are taking their leave. It’s been more than two hours, yet it passed in a flash of laughter and welcoming chatter. Made men are arriving and being guided downstairs. Dominic leaves with a press of his lips to my temple.

  Watching him walk away, I wonder what exactly is going to happen downstairs.

  “Don’t worry, Dominic was adamant it’s just them drinking, smoking cigars, and some gambling and playing poker. Nothing bad,” Alicia reassures me.

  It would be great if I could stop blushing like a little girl.

  Bethany pats my hand. “You’re an easy read. Also, who knew strippers are a hard no for mafia guys. Ever since I met Tony and Dominic, it’s killed a lot of myths. Kind of disappointing, kind of reassuring. I almost forgot, Lydia can’t make the wedding tomorrow. She had cutie Ethan a few days ago. It was a cesarean so she’s healing at home. Man is she upset.”

  “Lydia said you were perfect for Dominic. I’m so glad it’s you. When Tony mentioned Dominic coming back with a wife, I almost fell over. Enzo couldn’t believe it either. Dominic has always acted as if marriage was for men too stupid to get out of it. I think we were worried you would be some lady killer with legs up to her neck. Neither of us could really imagine who could get him to change his mind.” Tilting her head, she smiles as I can’t help but blush again.

  “You are so nice and sweet, then I saw you give him a glare a few times, which means you aren’t going to let him get away with much. You really are perfect for him. I’m going to admit, when I met Dominic, I totally hated him. It’s annoying that now he’s sometimes my favorite Sabatini when Tony is getting on my nerves, after my husband, of course.” Chloe sighs.

  Oh god, she saw that? It was when Dante was teasing him about how his life was going to change after having a wife and Dominic laughed it off, more than once. “Why did you hate him?”

  She rolls her eyes. “Because he’s too damn honest and sees far too much. The bastard yanked me hard out of my lane. I deserved it, it probably saved me from screwing up with Enzo. At the time it hurt like hell though. Dominic’s thing is he’s honest to the point of brutal. He won’t feed you any bullshit, he won’t allow you to try it on him either. You never have to wonder where you stand with him. Then again, if you’ve won his loyalty you will have it for life.

  “He’s not mean though. He could have gone harder on me. I know he didn’t because I’m younger. Although I’m glad he doesn’t treat me like a little kid anymore,” Bethany adds defensively.

  I can’t help but wonder if she ever liked Dominic like that. There’s something in the way she defends him.

  Her eyes go wide and she laughs. “For like two minutes. Literally, two minutes, then I came to my senses. Don’t hate me, he’s gorgeous.”

  Alicia slaps her sister on the arm, I’m glad a little. “You never told me that.”

  “Oh my god, I swear to god, enough with the abuse. It was literally two minutes of ‘holy shit he is so fucking hot. I wonder what he looks like out of that suit.’ Then I came to my senses because he’s also scary hot, like he’ll totally wreck your entire life because you’ll fall in love slash obsession, and he’ll have already moved onto the next thot.”

  Bethany’s eyes go wide with pleading. “I swear, that one time, the first time I met him, then never again. He made it clear I was the little sister he never wanted and kinda still didn’t, but since I was there he wasn’t going to be mean to me.”

  What she says is so true, it hurts. I knew it before I even knew it was happening. Falling in love with him promised nothing but pain. I’m willing to try, hoping somewhere in the next twenty-five years he’ll fall in love with me too. She is so earnest and honest the laughter comes out of me unchecked. “I understand completely. He um, has his moments.”

  Alicia smiles. “I think he’s going to make a great husband and an amazing father. Sophia and Nicky adore him. It’s not that Matteo doesn’t love him, but Tony has Matteo’s whole heart. Sometimes it feels like Cesare and I come in a close second and third to his Nonno.”

  A pang hits me, I try to ignore it. “Dominic wants to wait for a few years on kids.”

  Bethany nudges me with her shoulder. “Best decision we ever made, to wait a few years. It was amazing to be able to sleep in, make love all over the house without worrying about anything other than the windows being closed. I adore Mass, my little chunky monkey is an awesome laid-back baby. And we still
have to live our lives on his schedule. We are doing the night nanny but I’m seriously considering seeing if days can be added too. Kids are so demanding. You’re young, enjoy your freedom for a little while.”

  I simply nod, too afraid to open my mouth and ruin everything with the truth.

  “Sweetie, if you need more help then don’t wait until you can’t take it anymore. If Che has taught me anything, it’s to let go of what you think you should do and just do what works for you. Seriously, if it weren’t for Tony there twice a week as well as the nanny, I would never have gotten through it.”

  Alicia turns to me. “Tony has been so happy for the last few weeks. He must have told me a dozen times he always wanted a daughter. A word of warning, he can be a little...um, bossy. Then again, if you’ve been able to put up with Dominic you’ll be fine with Tony.”

  “Totally bossy, like giving your kid a toy you told him you don’t want her to have and her falling in love with it.” Chloe rolls her eyes. “It’s really annoying the way the Sabatini men know everything and are always right.”

  “Thank you! It’s like, can I be right just once here, damn it?” Bethany fumes.

  Alicia laughs. “I love it. I love letting Cesare be right and take control. He loves it too.” She sobers for a moment. “Don’t get too carried away with it. If you do they tend to run right over you. At the same time, let them have it. They like taking care of us—it makes them feel good. Why resent it? What good does that do?”

  A sigh. “That’s true. When I stopped fighting for control in our relationship, that’s when things got easier for us. Enzo said it was because he stopped worrying I was going to run and he could be more relaxed. He was much happier and in the end so was I. It’s scary giving up control, but when you trust in the other person it’s actually not really.”

  Chloe’s phone goes off with a text. She checks it and starts laughing. “Look, Allegra is standing on her own. Any day she’s going to take off and start walking.”

  She shares her screen with me and my heart aches at the picture of the baby girl standing proudly on her own. Then it happens, more phones are pulled out. And I’m devastated at the pictures of the beautiful baby Sabatinis that I will never have.

  I have no idea what I say. I think I mumble “restroom,” then I’m up and away from the table. I think I’m on my way toward the restrooms. I’m not even sure. I just need to get away. One after another I’m going through doors, until I’m outside.

  My lungs are desperate for air. I sway and lean against the brick wall. Laying my palms flat, I take deep breaths as I focus on the feeling of the ridges of the brick.

  “Miss, are you okay?” The man is only a few feet away. He’s dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt, holding a thick manila folder.

  Too late I realize I’m alone out in the back of the building. “I just needed some air,” I mumble as I try to inch back toward the door.

  Dominic’s hand comes down on my shoulder. “Sergeant Riley, may I introduce my fiancée, Regina Conti. We marry tomorrow. I didn’t give her a choice in the matter. Tied her up and tossed her in the trunk of my car. Here I thought she had come around—apparently she needs air.”

  Dominic is mocking as he looks down at me. A shiver shimmies down my spine at his honesty in front of a cop.

  “I apologize, Mr. Sabatini. I had no idea. I’ve been a little...I’ll come back next week.” He takes a step back.

  “No, if it’s important enough to take you away from your wife while she needs you”—his censure is clear—“then it’s important enough to discuss now. Please, come up to my office.”

  The hand is back around my arm, the way it hasn’t been since we got here. I’m marched beside him into the elevator, and we make our way to his office in our apartment. It’s obvious from Sergeant Riley’s reaction he’s never been in here as Dominic unlocks the door. Dominic flips the lights on as he pushes me down into a leather club seat in front of his desk.

  Riley hands him the folder. “It’s about the rapes. I heard about another rape in Evanston. It got me thinking. I dug deeper, there were other rapes in Evanston along the red line. Come to find out it’s not just the three, now four, it’s seven in total.”

  Dominic’s frown deepens as he looks through the file. Shaking his head, he takes the folder to what looks like a printer. He sets the thick file in it and hits a button. Then he’s back at his desk. “Thank you for making me aware. I’ll handle it from here.”

  By the time he’s done speaking the documents have finished going through the feeder at the top. He puts it back in the folder and hands it back. “How is your wife doing?”

  The man’s head goes down. “Not well. She’s on me to finish the paperwork for the fostering we planned on doing. I still want to, only not right now when everything is so...” He shakes his head. “I’m thinking a foster kid doesn’t need to come into all the pain going on in the house right now, they have enough as it is. I tried to talk to her about another round of in vitro. We still have four good embryos, a boy and three girls left. The money is the problem though. It will cost another twenty thousand and that’s with insurance.”

  A small sigh. “We appreciate you covering the funeral, we didn’t have the money for it at all. We’re looking at another loan as is if we try again. She’s not excited because the place is only willing to implant one embryo, and it’s already not taken twice in the past. She says if we do that we might as well go to Greece where they will implant all four. It might end up costing the same or even a little less.”

  Dominic shakes his head. “My sympathies for you and your wife. I’m willing to extend an advance on your payments as a one-time thing for the rest of this year.”

  “You would do that?” Riley’s eyes go big.

  “An advance, not in addition to your regular payoff, yes.”

  “Thank you, I appreciate it. No loan, I understand and appreciate it. We could make it work.”

  “Come back in a few weeks, make the plans to find out how much you’ll need. We’ll sit down and agree on terms.”

  “Mr. Sabatini, sir, thank you.” He looks to me. “Ms. Conti, you’re getting a good man.”

  I don’t even have my mouth open before he’s gone.

  Dominic is on the phone. “I need you to find out who is doing this. Once you have him, sit on him. Do not move unless you need to protect someone. I want to be the one to take care of him.”

  I’m looking anywhere but at Dominic, trying desperately to ignore what he means by wanting to be the one to take care of the man. Not sure if I’m a part of the problem for not being more upset at the idea of him killing someone who was raping women. What if it was a lesser crime? Would it be okay too, or...I don’t even know myself anymore. Then I spot it almost tucked behind a filing cabinet.

  “You went to Columbia University?” The framed degree isn’t on a wall, it’s on the floor, leaning against the wall as if he didn’t care about it.

  His eyebrows go up, he’s still in a mocking mood. “You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

  “You said you didn’t finish high school, that you got a GED.”

  “Yes, and once Pop was out he was insistent I go back to school. Pop had the money, connections, and my SAT scores and recommendations were more than enough to get into any school I wanted. He wanted me out of Chicago while he put things back to rights.”

  I’m in awe. I don’t know what to say without being any more offensive than I realize I already am.

  “What books did you think I was reading in Latin when I was five and six years old? It was Plato, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius. Once I learned English, Twain was too boring to keep my attention. It was the reason why the social worker was willing to help me take the GED and get out. She knew I was further ahead than others. I had skipped two grades, once when I was nine and again when I was twelve.”

  His phone goes off with a text, he reads it. Without responding he tucks his phone back into his pocket. “You needed air?”


  God I hate his stupid smug face, the way one eyebrow goes up.

  “I was sitting there being shown pictures and videos of their adorable children and...”

  He goes stiff.

  I hate him so fucking much in this moment. Hate him because he made me fall in love with him. Hate him because he lied to me. Hate him because even though he’s a lying piece of shit, I still love him and he doesn’t deserve it. “You don’t want children.”

  His jaw clenches once, twice. Ice-blue eyes meet mine. “No.”

  I hate my tears, hate them as much as I hate him. “Why?” I need to know.

  “Because it doesn’t matter if my son has a degree from Columbia or the best fucking school in the entire world. He will never be anything more than a killer and criminal in this fucked-up world of ours.” The words are bitter. He might have said he didn’t regret anything he’s done, yet I can’t help but wonder if he really meant it.

  “I don’t want that for my child. I want him to be whatever the fuck he wants to be on his terms. That won’t happen for him. It doesn’t matter if I call in every fucking favor I’m owed, give up everything I have for him, it will still haunt him in this city. Everywhere he goes, everything he does will be touched by it until it chases him away from me, so then what does it matter?”

  Cold, he’s so cold. Goddamn him, how can he be so right when it hurts so badly? How can he so cruelly turn my every wish to ash, and I can’t fight him? Because he’s right. “If we had a daughter...

  A shake of his head. “There is no guarantee of a girl. I would welcome a dozen girls if it were possible, but not when there is no way of knowing for sure.”

  The sob rips through me without permission, Dominic’s hand is on my arm. No, I don’t want him to touch me. I pull away. “You lied to me. And you were going to keep lying to me.” I have no idea how the words get past the lump in my throat.