by Fiona Murphy
“What?” I pull the book I’m holding up to my chest.
Holding up the bag, she says, “Enzo and I came by last night to have dinner with you and Dominic.” I can’t hide my surprise. “Right.” She nods. “Dominic said that you weren’t feeling well so I brought you—”
“I wasn’t, I had a migraine.”
“He said you had a cough, thought you might be sick. You were trying to keep people from getting sick. I figured it was the crud that went around a few weeks ago and was bringing you some throat stuff that helped us.”
Embarrassed, I study the floor.
With a sigh she settles onto the couch and pats it. “Sit.”
I shake my head.
“Get your ass over here and sit down, Regina.”
Rolling my eyes, I go and flop down on the couch. I don’t take my eyes off the book in my hands.
“I’ve never seen Dominic so miserable and I’ve seen him covered in baby vomit, so you know I’ve seen a lot. You, you are as easy to read as can be. I thought it was Johnny dying. It’s not though. Is it?”
“I can’t talk to you. Dominic—I’ve already messed up too much to add talking to you to the list.”
“Regina, look at me. I won’t tell anyone anything you tell me. Not Dominic, or Enzo. No one. I know what it’s like to have fucked up so badly you are terrified you can’t fix it. To feel alone when you’re surrounded by people who love you and would do anything for you. And we would, all of us. It’s not just Pop, or me, it’s Alicia and Bethany and even Nonna.”
Her hand covers mine, squeezing it gently.
“You are a part of this family. Not the Outfit, the Sabatinis. We’re an annoying, loud, loving bunch, and we’re going to argue and fight, but we will also do everything in our power to help each other and make sure you never have to go through anything alone. Che was very gently trying to talk to Dominic about how concerned he is about you. Bethany told me she texted you her therapist’s number. Great woman, you should talk to her. Whether it’s about this or Johnny or all the rest.”
She moves close to me, putting her arm around me. It’s the first touch I’ve had in weeks. That has to be the only reason why I start crying.
“Ah, honey.” It’s all she says for a long time as she hugs me close.
Everything comes out in a torrent of words I’m not even sure makes sense. I guess not because she asks me to repeat a couple of things, like Dominic putting me in the trunk and when I told Dominic to just get it over with.
Finally under control I tense, waiting for her disapproval. She runs her hand down my face as she looks down at me with tender understanding I’m sure I don’t deserve. “Stop blaming yourself. This is a mess you both made. Dominic Sabatini is in love with you and scared shitless of it.”
I’m shaking my head. She doesn’t get it.
Pulling away, she’s stern. “Hey, I know Dominic Sabatini. I know him like I know myself. It’s the reason I hated him so much. We’re more alike than either of us wants to admit. He’s scared because the idea of letting you know he loves you means you know he belongs to you as much as you belong to him.”
She mops me up with several tissues. It reminds me of when Dominic did the same thing the night of Johnny’s funeral.
“It would be easy to blame the whole ruthless world he lives in, but both Enzo and I were the same way. The need to have the upper hand, to feel like we were in control. I had been hurt way too much and was waiting for Enzo to be the next person to hurt me. The problem was I ended up hurting myself. It wasn’t until I gave up fighting him, fighting for control, that we both let go and everything felt right.”
I want to believe her. I just can’t. “He’s making the best out of a bad situation. I’m just the current bedwarmer who is so starved for affection I’ll take anything he’s willing to give. And oh yeah, a total slut who is gasping for sex.”
“Okay, let’s break it down rationally. Let’s leave emotion out of it for five minutes. Dominic Sabatini, ruthless, manipulative, manwhore, has extolled your virtues to all of us for far longer than he’s ever talked about anything or anyone. Sure, maybe that is a cover. Does it explain him spending hours with you shopping with Lydia? He hates to shop, he flat-out doesn’t do it.”
Weird, when he seemed so comfortable doing it with me that day.
“Dominic spent a half hour on the phone with Callie and sent her a half dozen photos of dresses he liked. The man doesn’t know a ballgown from an A-line, but he knew everything he wanted your dress to be. He had your wedding ring remade twice because it wasn’t perfect. Your tiara had to be redone once, he was so particular the jeweler was terrified Dominic was going to kill him because he kept messing up. Does any of that sound like a man who is making the best of a bad situation?”
Studying my ring, I remember Callie talking about Dominic saying he wanted me to look like his queen. At the time, I put it down to his arrogance of the day. Then when he took off the tiara, the satisfaction on his face wasn’t from arrogance, it was pure happiness. It flashes again, what had been in his eyes as he looked down at me. I had thought I was projecting, yet it shined so brightly. What if...
“Look, I get you’re young. I’m trying not have that be a factor in this conversation because I wasn’t when I met Enzo, and I still didn’t get it. Which was really embarrassing, as I had stopped having sex for exactly the reason I should have seen it for what it was. The whole sex thing, how it’s amazing, incredible, you can’t get enough, you think your whole body is going to explode from pleasure?”
I blush, and Chloe smiles knowingly.
“Yeah, that doesn’t happen with everyone. There are couples who are genuinely in love, I don’t understand how, but they don’t feel it. It’s special, because it’s with someone you love and it’s the only place you are both allowing yourself to be open and free with each other. That’s why you’re both so greedy for it—if that’s the only place you’re allowing each other in, you’re craving that connection.”
Closing my eyes, I inhale everything she has said. “God, I’m so stupid.”
“No, honey, you’re not stupid. You’re human. I’m guessing you didn’t have a window into what love looked like before you met Dominic. Then when it comes with all these crazy things in it...” She shrugs. “I can’t imagine figuring this out on your own.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I cried all over you.”
“Oh please, it’s nothing. I’m always here for you, know that. You can call me anytime, day or night. Now we have to figure out how to fix this.”
“Is it fixable?”
“Totally, and it’s going to be way easier than you thought.”
***
Regina
Putting on the dress Chloe picked out, I shiver with anticipation. To get the desired effect, I make sure to be out of the apartment dressed before Dominic sees me. I text him I’m getting my hair cut for tonight then having the whole mani-pedi thing so I look my best. I’ll meet him at Pop’s. His response is now typical Dominic with a simple OK.
When my hair stylist, Eliot, sees me walk through the door he whistles. “Damn, girl. Was your hubby bad or very good?”
Blushing, I shrug. “Very bad.”
“Mm, mm, they just don’t get it, do they? It’s always the quiet ones. We might not be loud but when we want to make them pay, do we roar.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “You’re quiet?”
He gives an exaggerated shrug of one shoulder. “With my hubby I have to be. He is such a straight boy. I think he still hopes one day he’ll wake up and won’t like men anymore.”
“I’m sorry, that’s awful. You deserve someone who’s all in.” I love Eliot. He’s so sweet.
“Don’t we all. I don’t mind, really. He loves me loads, he just has all those midwestern North Dakota ideas of what a ‘real’ man does and doesn’t do.” He rolls his eyes.
“I’m working on him. In five years he’ll be rocking pink dress shirts without any irony an
d using product in his hair on the daily. Okay, sweetie, you ready to take the plunge this time?”
I freeze at the question, cutting my hair to a chin-length bob. What the hell? I nod.
“Keep your eyes closed and trust me. I would never do you wrong.”
Forty-five minutes later I open my eyes and gasp. I’m almost a different person. My face isn’t quite as round, my nose fits my face more, and I don’t know, I just look different. I love it. “I am so sorry I doubted you for a moment.”
“It’s all good, precious, I understand completely. Now go work it and make your hubby pay for being bad.”
In the nail salon, only a few doors down from Eliot’s salon, I get a wave of oohs and ahs over my hair and dress. I don’t like fake nails. I do, however, like having them shaped and painted here. No matter what polish I get, at home it’s always chipped and fading after the third day, as opposed to the two weeks it lasts when I get it done here. Ever since I stopped in on a whim to kill time after I saw Eliot the first time, I’ve been back every other week.
When I’m done, I call Everett to pick me up to drop me off at Pop’s. I don’t have to wait long. As I get into the SUV Everett’s eyebrows go up.
“Looking beautiful today, Mrs. Sabatini. It’s been a while since Mr. Sabatini has had his blood pressure checked. Tonight is as good a night as any. He’s already at his father’s home.”
Blushing, I simply murmur “thank you.” I get out of the raised SUV, very carefully. I’m wearing the halter dress. The red one with the plunging neckline and open back that screams I’m not wearing a bra.
As Lydia had said, I have great tits. They are high and firm without a bra. The night I had put the dress on for Dominic’s family, I had worn what amounted to pasties to obscure if I caught a chill. Tonight I’m not wearing them. I also went back to the seamstress and had the hemline raised to my knee, so the thigh-high slit on one side was more obvious with every step. When I did it I wanted to wear it while we were in Paris. Chloe had taken one look at it and thrust it at me with glee.
Before I reach for the door, it’s opened by Pop with a smile that could best be described as devilish. “Ah cara, how beautiful you look tonight. My son is a lucky man.”
My stomach flips as he chuckles. I’m barely through the door when intense heat washes over me. Pasting a smile on my face, I press a kiss to Pop’s cheek. I’m pretending I don’t see Dominic’s thunderous frown—holy shit, did he just growl at his own father? The glint in Pop’s eyes tells me he did.
“It smells delicious. What’s for dinner?” The words come out of me in a rush.
Pop’s arm slips around my waist as he guides me into the kitchen. “So many good things. One of them, your favorite canederli.”
I’m pretending to ignore Dominic as we pass him in the doorway of the kitchen. I don’t see his hand snake out at me. I do feel him grab me around my arm and yank me against him.
Luca laughs. “Sorellina, nice dress. I get why Dominic is always looking tired every time I see him.”
I blush as Dominic thrusts me into a chair at the table. He lets me go to whip off his suit jacket, dropping it over my shoulders. Annoyed, I try to take it off. His hands come down in a punishing grip on both shoulders.
Leaning down, his mouth is grazing my ear. “If you take the jacket off, I will take you to the bathroom and give you the spanking you are begging for. Right where Pop and Luca can hear it. Leave it on and it can wait until we get home. The choice is yours.”
Eyes down, blushing down to my belly button, I slip my arms into the silk jacket. “Pop, may I please have a glass of Pinot. A big one.”
***
Regina
On the drive home a few hours later, I can feel Dominic seething. I accidentally make it worse when I get out, trying to do it before he gets to my side, just in time to flash him my ass. A curse word slips out of him at the same time he grabs me and hauls me after him.
He’s too pissed to wait for the elevator, throwing me over his shoulder and we’re up the stairs so fast I don’t even have long enough to be afraid he might drop me. The door to our apartment is slammed closed. He sets me down with a punishing grip, both hands go to my shoulders and he tears the gown with one fierce growl.
Holy shit, I’m standing in nothing more than a tiny red thong in front of him. I’m thrust up against the wall and his hand comes down hard. It’s the library all over again. I lose count of how many times he spanks me on each cheek until I’m gasping for air and so wet my thighs are slick with need.
When he finally stops I’m not sure how I’m still standing. I expect him to grab me and take me then and there. He doesn’t—while I’m still trembling Dominic slams out of the apartment, leaving me very confused and extremely wet for him.
What the fuck? I fight back tears. Chloe had been wrong and I’m an idiot.
***
Regina
After Dominic left me standing there and I finally got my breathing back under control, I grabbed the remnants of the dress and slunk into my room. I then spent a solid twenty minutes masturbating until my clit was begging me to stop. Yep, I’m masturbating now. I love it and hate it. It takes the edge off. Except I’m left feeling empty, and I end up missing Dominic even more. Lying in bed, I decide a hot bath is needed to work out this tension.
Almost a half hour later I wrap myself in my robe and walk out of the bathroom no less tense than I was when I went into it.
“You were in there for a while.”
I jump in shock. Dominic is lounging on my bed, the sheet and comforter pulled back, and he’s deliciously naked. Instantly I’m wet for him. Yet the smug look on his face stops me from running to throw myself at him. It isn’t easy but I manage to cross my arms, to hide my hard, aching nipples. “What are you doing in here?”
He exhales a small laugh. “What does it look like? I’m tired of going without. From that dress you wore today, dear wife, it’s obvious you are too. Good. I need to fuck. It’s been too damn long.”
I swear if he hadn’t been such an asshole, so crude, I would have gladly laid down with him. His smirk and to hear him use the word fuck, even after everything Chloe said today, I just can’t. “That was then, this is now. No.”
Those eyes go arctic blue with cold; they stare me down until I’m on the verge of backing down. I’m even opening my mouth when he nods. He rolls off the bed. “Fine. Remember, this is what you wanted.”
The finality of those words, cold and hard, force the question out of me. “What do you mean?”
He turns to face me, his hand on the doorknob. “I told you if you kept me satisfied, I wouldn’t make use of another woman. I haven’t been satisfied except for one night in our marriage. For the record, I was of the mind to shield you from this. Since you’re going to be a bitch about it, I see no need. Fair warning, Serena tends to be vocal in her pleasure.”
The door closes with a final click. He’s lying. I close my eyes, no, he’s not. No, no, he can’t do this. I need him to lie to me and tell me he wanted me, that it meant something. Distantly I hear the beep announcing the elevator arriving on the floor. It tears me out of my stupor.
Could he really allow someone else to touch him? Would he really—my stomach revolts. White-hot anger surges within me. The sound of a woman laughing is loud behind his bedroom door. I throw it open, it crashes against the wall.
Dominic is on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands. A woman is on her knees in front of him, her hands running over his thighs. She’s unconcerned at the sight of me—stupid. I finally understand murder, understand the need to inflict violence, to destroy someone. There is no rational thought as I grab her by her hair and yank her up. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back if you value your life.”
With a scream she falls back against the wall, then runs. Turning to Dominic, he hasn’t moved an inch. An eyebrow goes up. “Changed your mind, dear wife?”
I raise my hand, determined to smack the smug lo
ok off his face. He catches my wrists easily in an unforgiving grip, then yanks me down to my knees. He stares down at me with his jaw clenched, anger in every muscle of his body.
“How could you?” It kills me that tears are rolling down my face.
He thrusts me away from him. “Me? The very first day I told you this would be what you made of it. If you didn’t want to fuck me, fine. I wouldn’t force you. You begged me for it. You wore a dress you knew I would tear off your body. At the same time, you also pissed me off so badly I didn’t trust myself to touch you without hurting you. I calmed the fuck down and decided to take you up on your offer, and you want to tell me no?”
I’m cringing at hearing it all out loud.
“I told you I want to fuck a woman. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. This is what you did, not me. Are you going to be a real wife to me in every way? Will you sleep in my bed and be the one to fuck me when I need it? Make up your damn mind what the hell you want. If it’s not Serena tonight, it will be someone else tomorrow.”
Just him saying it tears at me all over again. I reach up for him, he shakes his head. “No, I need you to say it so there is no question, Regina. What do you want?”
Swallowing down the fear, the words come out low. “You, I just want you.”
“Do you want me to just get it over with?” The words are hissed out of him.
I will regret those words until the day I die. Shaking my head, I reach for him. This time he doesn’t move. “Please.” I hate the word, but I know I lost the right to use any other. “fuck me, Dominic.”
His hand goes around my neck in a painful grip, pulling me to him as his mouth comes down on me with a growl. Savage, bruising, painful, and I welcome it, all of it. He tears the robe off me then pushes me down on the bed, following me down before my back hits the bed.
Pushing my legs open wide for him, two thick fingers thrust into me as his mouth swallows a breast. Those fingers push deep inside as he sucks hard, then bites my nipple until I scream from the pain. There is nothing soothing about the way he begins sucking fiercely, yet I don’t dare stop him as the pain twists into pleasure so intense fireworks explode behind my eyelids. Another painful bite, then he moves to my other breast at the same time his fingers press against a spot that holy fucking shit feels so damn good. Roughly, they rub, until I’m coming with body-shaking force.