by Micah Thomas
“I might have killed him before he ever got around to making his point.”
The building shook and the DJ booth rattled. The doors strained against their hinges.
“Tell me how your epiphany helps us,” Henry said.
Thelon turned a dial and the wave form representation of the universe changed colors and moved in a mesh of tightly woven, radiant strands of energy. “This thing we face, it’s not a cancer. It’s a hernia become a metastatic cancer. The distance it crosses is relative because it’s already everywhere. Destroying them is not the right answer—even if we could. As with any other organ, they served a purpose, but not here. What’s more, they don’t realize this. When they came over, they accepted that this mole, this tiny instance, was the universe. It’s just a spot. There’s other spots.”
“Beautifully said, but I do not get it,” Henry said and shook his head.
“TLDR: there’s a lot of other universes,” Thelon explained. “They are all connected. This one we’re in is broken. There’s no grand scheme. The dread star is a broken part doing what it thinks it should do. It’s everywhere and yet also out there.” Thelon laughed and shook his head too.
Henry squinted at Thelon as he struggled to understand. “What about the bad feelings? They want to eat us. I felt it.”
Thelon hopped up on the stage and paced. This was hard to explain. He didn’t even know how exactly he knew this stuff. “They are only experiencing our reality in a language they understand. It’s not who they are.”
Henry stood up, only to sit back down and hold his head in his hands. “Are you suggesting we go have a talk with them? Ask them to go home? Because I’m telling you, there was no singular intellect there. Nothing to talk to. Only a collection of wants.”
“Like your friend who only wants to burn?” Thelon asked, his eyebrows arched. He wanted Henry to get it.
Henry smiled a one sided grin. “Fine. How do we send them home?”
“Nope.” Thelon sat on the stage. “That’s not going to happen. You said so yourself; I don’t think they have a home anymore. You saw, too. They are pretty damned attached to this one.”
“Dude, this isn’t helping.”
“Yeah, yeah. Here’s the idea. Come over here and look.” The waveform visual—the matrix of all things by element—enlarged to reveal a cyclone of interlocking fractals. Thelon zoomed out, and the same patterns repeated, but at different frequencies. He zoomed in and out again and again, displaying the entire universe as merely one of a layer; the mole on the body. “Even if we could destroy them, we break the world, and we can’t. However, we leave this place to them and they are trapped, doing this thing over and over again as they did before, servicing whatever computational function the universe intended forever.”
“Let them win?” Henry asked as he started to get it.
“Yeah, they want Earth so bad? Let them have it. This is the other part of the secret of everything.” Thelon zoomed in on the representation of Earth, focusing in on one person. The effect was dizzying. “See this one here?” Thelon flipped a switch. He was an optometrist asking whether it was better in 1 or 2, 2 or 3. The egg was fuzzy. Out of focus. “There’s nothing wrong with your eyes, Henry. Even with your friend, you’re locked into seeing this one aspect of time and place. The reason any given person is a bit blurry is that you’re looking at more than one at a time. Each one is more than one—even you. There’s a you in each universe—another version of you—and they are connected. The others—the dread star—have only themselves here. That’s why they are locked and we are free.”
“Okay. I saw Sliders reruns. Are you saying we can slide into the other us’s?”
“I think when we die, our death instantly flattens this instance into the others. We merge with the other versions.”
“When we die.”
“Look man, I didn’t see the whole picture. I’ve been tripping every day for a week. While you were being a badass, I had an epiphany. This is what I saw. This is our way out.”
“You’re saying something terrible. I don’t even know if you know what you are saying. This is more than suicide. You know there’s people I care about down there.”
“I’m aware. I know about this shit. Scorched Earth. Kuwaiti oil fires in Desert Storm. Germans in WWII. It’s fucked up—illegal by international law because we learned as a species that this is horrible.”
“No, man. This is worse.”
“Okay, but if these things eat them—eat us—we’ll be locked here too, cut off from everything else we are and never able to access our multiverse immortality. That sounds worse.”
“What about other life out there in space? Shit, other species on Earth?”
“They’ll have to find their own solution.”
Something roared, loud and rageful as a jet engine, and shook the nightclub.
Henry said, “Fuck. We need to go back. Home. This place is falling apart.”
The roof was ripped off in a single tear and a dozen black tornadoes pulled at Henry, threatening to suck him into its vortex. Thelon, still collected, closed the representative space in an instant. Together, Thelon, Henry, and the fire spirit channeled into a trinity of vibrant coiled energy, jettisoning back to the Moon, back to their body.
***
Hakim had left Cassie alone in the room with the thing. She felt the emptiness in her soul, the parts of her that remained vacant after Henry’s departure for only a moment when the entity made contact. The trip came on with a sigh. Oh yeah. This was a compatible energy. Cassie felt a pleasure akin to walking into the living room as a child and seeing presents under a tree. So gentle a love, so true a feeling. You are welcome, she said in response to the sense of gratitude directed towards her. Then she was no longer in Hakim’s room.
Images flooded her mind: Mary, the queen of heaven, scepter in one hand, the other raised in benediction. Not the mother of a god, but the god herself. She was large. She was largest. The planet and all the minds on it were small bubbles of awareness. Trees, plants, animals, and objects—the world of matter; she felt it, yet unlike with Henry, she experienced no urge to change the arrangement of anything and burn it up. She knew she could, but only as one of the infinite possibilities. Cassie knew things about the others as well. She saw what Wiseman was—an element of consistency maintaining status quo—whereas Hakim’s purpose was to extend and delight, to make better, make peace. However, he had been unable to execute this. Henry’s fire had been a thing so small; almost as inevitable as the weather. She was more. She was bigger.
She would go mad. Locura. The intensity of the joining was too much, but just as Cassie felt completely overwhelmed, it was over. She and it merged and came to a new place of mind. They floated as one in a vast ocean and the ocean was also their self. Tidal energies pulled waves of intent and force into crashing, gentle scurries. These were feelings. A matrix of wants and desires were now hers from her past. Cassie visualized herself sinking into the water, breathing in the sweet fullness without drowning. The deeper she sank, the more currents she felt until swirls of sparking coldness traveled around her body. It began at her legs and hands first before reaching her belly.
Daughter, oh daughter, where are you? a voice called. This was her other voice and she felt maternity in it.
From within and without, this ocean was her mother. Pureza. Purity. It would live through her. It would see the world through her eyes, let her make decisions with a clicking tongue. She would be forgiven. She would be loved. Cassie surfaced, a slow and steady ascent, their agreement made with no compromise. They were integrated and it felt so fine to be whole.
I’m pregnant, Cassie remembered.
Child, child, child. Baby girl. We will love her, too. She will be all the things we ever wanted and we will dress her and teach her and nurture her and she will make us proud.
Cassie accepted this, but the other spasmed. Something was wrong. The other had had a child once. The memory recapitulated to before the wo
rld ended, before this place—a timeless millennia ago where there was an energy which had split off. An essence, once part of their whole, but grew into its own; this took a thousand years, but it had been done. A daughter had been born. They must find her.
They were awake now. They broke Hakim’s room down into molecules of water and it splashed across the throne room floor. Hakim sat in his chair in his usual torpor.
Cassie saw her nakedness, but felt no shame, only a rising anger. Rabia. Rage. “Where is my daughter?”
Hakim smiled and opened his eyes. “Take a moment to experience this life. Is not breathing and touch wondrous? Are you not grateful to be alive in this pleasurable place? Let us take a walk.”
“What did you do to her?”
“I did nothing.”
“You lie.”
Cassie reached her mind towards Hakim, saw those blue energies she’d formerly found so powerful, and knocked his walls down. She could read the emaciated man within—an arrogant fool everywhere else.
“You let her die.”
“Wait.”
The world shuddered and stuttered as terrible energies amassed within Cassie. In the moment, she didn’t care about consequences. Their combined rage was stronger than anything she’d ever felt when vicariously riding Henry’s fires and hurt. She rubbed her belly, a protective motion over the one growing there. No one would ever hurt her babies again.
Hakim did not attempt to flee, nor did he offer more words. Cassie stepped up to the throne and straddled his lap. Had he known this would happen? She did not care. She stroked his hair then grabbed a fistful and bent back his head, wrenching him with all her might. Her fingers dug into his skull, sinking easily into the skin. Her fingers were a hot iron into soft flesh. Not satisfied, she brought her other hand around, in this one a knife, and sawed his twisted neck until she held his head aloft. “You let her die.”
The palace flickered. This was a construct and the sourced energies were fading. Cassie felt no guilt destroying Hakim and tossed his head down the steps. This was justice. This moment was all that existed entirely. There was no tomorrow. No need to run anywhere. She could have held the world together, taken the throne, and continued the shameful paradise, but no. Let it fall. There was no need for such things.
***
Sanders had submitted his resignation the same day he dropped Cassie off. He expected his access to be terminated or to suffer a seizure as Hakim freaked out. So far, nothing had happened. He’d spent the day at home in sweat pants. Dan popped in and out as he too wrapped up his job as a city docent. They were leaving Chicago; they would go in the morning. Dan had made a complete map of where they’d stay and what they’d do, but only for the first month. After that, they’d have to make do.
They’d made love then gone to sleep their last night in their Chicago home. Though Sanders had fallen asleep easily enough, he woke in the middle of the night. Something was wrong. He felt sick.
Dan moaned in his sleep.
Again, Sanders felt something was deeply, deeply wrong. His attempts at summoning his console failed to do anything at all and terrible sounds came in a roar through the window. He’d never been gladder about his decision to stay in the old sector of town than when we looked out into the street. The sky was pitch black, not a shimmering blue, and he saw stars instead of layers of city above. But the sky was not empty. No, it was filled with shadows. Falling shadows.
“Oh, fuck.”
Millions of bodies dropped from the sky as cloud structures dissolved back into nothing. Sanders was terrified. The shock of what he knew must be happening was more than he could bear. The world was ending. Something must have happened to Hakim. Cassie, what did you do?
Dan woke up. “I feel sick.”
Sanders held him as tight as he ever had in their years together. “Love, it’s over.”
***
Thelon opened his eyes to the lightless float pod. The water was warm, but the door didn’t open automatically. “Adeline?”
Who is that, the computer chick?
Thelon didn’t answer.
Something has happened, Henry said.
“Was it something we did?”
No. While we were fucking around, something happened back home. Something serious.
Thelon manually pushed open the lid, but there was no one there to receive him. The lights were off, and the room as dark as the pod had been. Henry extended his perceptions to Thelon so they could navigate the room.
“Are you sure we didn’t do this?” he asked.
No, Henry answered. I don’t think so. I can feel the generators on, but something has happened. Everything is breaking.
“Adeline?” Thelon called again.
She’s offline. I can feel the wrongness here. Can’t you?
“When I’m in my body, I don’t normally feel shit like that. I’m not psychic.”
There’s nothing different in this fucked up coffin than any other time. I may need to step in, change us into…it’s hard to explain. I can sustain us.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
It’s going to be okay. I mean, it’s totally not, but we will be okay. That plan you had, it looks like it just became our only hope.
“We’ll be mass murderers, you know.”
Oh, I know.
Then the artificial gravity clicked off and dim emergency lights flicked on.
“It’s hard to move,” Thelon said as he bounced over the pod in an effort to see if anyone else was taking a bath. The pods were empty. Thelon wanted to find Jim; he’d had a plan.
“Fuck. What about the horses?”
Thelon, dude. Forget the horses. This place is going to be a tomb.
“I’ll die, too. You know the little thing of needing oxygen to live?”
No. We will transform, but there’s nothing I can do for the rest of them.
“We should find Jim. There might be escape pods for all I know.”
Thelon, we should leave. We should do that thing we talked about. There’s no time for goodbyes.
Thelon knew things then—Henry shared some of what he sensed. Something had happened to Cassie. Hakim, the omnipotent figure who had so changed the world, had vanished. With him gone, the others were making their move. Henry and Thelon felt a warping of spacetime as the movement of the others kicked out waves of distorted inertia.
“How do we get out?”
Get us to an airlock corridor and I’ll get us out.
The prison was in chaos. Someone was shouting, “Stay with your family! Stay in your cells!” There were panicked screams and nervous, fast talking, but there were also a few engaging in childlike play in the low gravity—kids playing with flashlights when a storm knocks the power out.
Thelon didn’t know his way around and had to ask several times for the way to the moon walk excursion airlocks.
“Are you fucking nuts?” a panicking prisoner replied.
“Yeah. Which way?” Thelon said with a laugh.
Thelon saw Jim from a distance. He looked worried. Thelon took one more glance of his shoulder and propelled himself out of the cafeteria and down towards the exit. There was excursion equipment; space suits and vehicles. Henry told Thelon they wouldn’t be needing anything from there.
“I think this is one. I saw it in the orientation video.” Thelon was right. The heavy door led to a cleaning room, and the door beyond that led to the actual airlock.
Thelon’s nerves were getting the better of him by the time they were at the last door. “You know, it’s fucking space out there.”
Friend, you won’t even have to hold your breath. Ready?
As he had done with Cassie so many times before, Henry channeled the fire through his essence. Circling rings of power spun his mode into fresh existence, integrated with Thelon’s luminous being, and transformed them into a conscious, elemental entity—one that needed no air to burn.
They melted the door to slag as they passed through it and rocketed away from the sur
face of the Moon. This wasn’t an astral projection into space, but the real deal. Thelon’s elation at being alive in an altered state and moving at the speed of thought temporarily put the job at hand off his mind. Henry, however, thought only of getting back to Cassie.
***
The distance between the Moon and Earth was 238,900 miles. By conventional craft, the journey took 3 days, traveling at 24,791 miles per hour. Light made the trip in 1.3 seconds. Thelon and Henry made it in under an hour. They floated above the atmosphere, a small bright dot against the blue planet.
Henry checked in with Thelon. Fuck. The Earth is big.
Henry, my god. Are we doing this?
Yes.
What about your lady down there?
I feel a change in her. They have her. I don’t want to think about it.
Okay. Fine. How is this going to work? Will it look like a Star Wars movie where the planet explodes into pieces?
Thelon could feel Henry’s seriousness. We don’t have to ash the planet, just the surface. Just kill every living thing. Fuck. You know, I did something like this once.
Really?
I blew up Las Vegas.
When I was in military academy—
You were going to be a soldier? Henry interrupted him.
Yeah. It didn’t seem like it was going to happen—until now I guess. They had a saying: ‘Kill one man and they lock you up for life. Kill a thousand and they give you medals.’
What did they say about billions?
Didn’t mention it.
We’re doing this?
Yup.
What happens to us when it’s done?
I don’t know.
Henry focused on integrating his energetic structures with Thelon’s. With the care of a surgeon, he manipulated strands of energies into cords, a braid; me, him, the fire. Soft and malleable as pulled taffy, the fundamental structures of their energies expanded into looping strands of essence. The shape took its own initiative and self assembled faster and faster. He’d always known they were bound together, but this would be a merger into a single entity of unified purpose—all they were in this instance of the universe. He couldn’t see, as Thelon did, the impacts to their infinite other selves. In a moment of doubt, Henry pulled parts of Thelon back out and nestled the energetic core that was Thelon into his heart.