“Hold on, Jessa,” Callie giggles as I stagger around on my feet, searching for my balance. “We have to wait for Penny!"
I lower onto my bum in exhaustion and scoot across the room to the far wall. “Go on without me," I say dramatically as I reach for my water bottle. "I’m gonna have to sit this one out."
We’re having girl time this morning. Just Jessa, Callie and me. We've turned the exercise room of the Kingston bed and breakfast into our own private yoga studio, following along with the group of happy-faced, toned-assed, freakishly flexible yoga instructors on my computer screen.
I hate them all so much right now.
I've been getting lazy with my fitness but now that I’m carrying a tiny human around 24 hours a day, I’m starting to feel random aches and pains in my body. Hopefully, a little stretching will help resolve that. Prassanna Oneness Studio puts out the best gentle yoga videos. Their YouTube channel is my go-to now that I’m no longer bartending and have some more free time on my hands.
"Penny's such a slow poke, isn't she?” Jessa teases, causing the child to giggle.
“Penny’s carrying around a ten-pound potato sack under her shirt,” I say in my defence.
My friend snickers as she comes across the room and drops down beside me. She immediately resumes her daily crusade to convince me to take a shot with Walker. Meanwhile, Callie enthusiastically continues her yoga session. That kid has so much damn energy. I don’t know how Jessa keeps up.
At some point, the little girl scampers across the room and grabs her nanny's arm, yanking her out of our conversation. "Jessa, is that my mommy?" The child points at the computer. My chest squeezes. My eyes dart to the screen. But Jessa takes the question in stride, like it’s a question she’s heard a dozen times before.
The nanny affectionately brushes the girl’s messy blond flyaways back from her face. "No, I'm sorry, honey. That's not your mommy.”
Callie’s expression drops with disappointment.
Jessa pulls her into a hug. “Remember, we talked about this, sweetie. Your mommy and daddy aren’t here right now but you have Nana and Papa and all your uncles and me. And we all love you so much. Don’t forget that, okay?”
There’s a hazy look in the girl’s eyes but she nods mechanically anyway. “Okay…” She plods away and assumes her next yoga pose.
My chest throbs. Gosh. I feel for the child. I know firsthand how painful and confusing it is to be cut off from your parents, especially at that age.
Jessa sighs. “It breaks my heart when she does that. And she does it all the time. Any time she sees a blonde woman, late twenties, early thirties, she asks if it’s her mom. The poor kid. All she wants is a mother,” Jessa whispers to me. “What do you tell a child who's been abandoned by her parents? How do I make this okay?” she asks, her eyes pleading.
I give her a small smile. “Just make her feel loved. Let her know she’s special everyday. You may never be able to replace her mother but just shower her with affection and make sure she knows she’s cared for.”
Aunt Lucille was not able to substitute the love I craved from my mom but she did her best to ensure that I felt a sense of belonging in her house. It was the best she could do.
Jessa wipes a tear from her eye and huffs. “If I meet that Gabby woman one day, I swear I’ll punch her in the throat."
I almost giggle. "Throat-punching is not fitting of a Disney Princess, Jessa. But I totally get where you're coming from. The woman is a real bitch."
Jessa tucks her knees against her chest and props her chin there. “What’s Gabby like, anyway? Did you know her?”
It’s easy to forget that Jessa and Lexi didn’t grow up in my hometown. They only moved here a few years ago.
I shrug and lean back against the wall. “Not really. When Gabby lived in Crescent Harbor, I tried befriending her on more than one occasion but my attempts were never well received. She was super standoffish. I took a hint and I let it go.” I bite the corner of my lip. “There was always something 'off' about her. She just didn't seem...satisfied with her life. Still, it took me by surprised when she straight-up ditched her child and left town the minute Eli got arrested. It takes a special kind of cruel to abandon your child days after her father was ripped from her life.”
Footsteps draw my attention to the doorway. Walker enters, his presence too large for the room. “Hey, ladies.” His eyes linger on me and my heart takes off like a stone skipping across the surface of a lake. I’m still trying to train my body not to react so viscerally to the man.
"Hi Uncle Walker," Callie chirps. "Look at me. I'm a...a..." she searches for the right word. "A yoga person!"
That causes us all to laugh.
"I'm a yoga person, too." Walker peels off his cowboy hat and drops it to the floor. He strides on over to where the child is and they bumble their way through a sun salutation sequence. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.
When he folds into downward dog, I’m almost drooling. Well, damn. My baby daddy has one hell of an ass. The thought causes me to snicker.
Walker throws me a glance over his shoulder. "What's so funny?" He smirks.
"Nothing," I say, "Nothing."
When Callie grabs his leg, he nearly topples over on top of her. He catches his balance just in time. The child looks up at him with hopeful eyes. "Uncle Walker, is that my mommy?"
Walker leans in closer, eyes on the screen. That's when he falls flat on his ass. “Holy shit—that's Gabby. That's Callie's mom."
40
Walker
I’m sitting in a stark white room, surrounded by barred windows and men in orange jumpsuits. My ass is parked on a cold, hard bench at one of the many tables in the visiting room.
To be honest, this place makes me antsy. Uneasy. Even though none of the prisoners seem to give two shits about me. No one has even looked in my direction since a guard let me inside. Everyone is busy with their own guests.
I expected chains and handcuffs at every turn, but I guess I’ve been watching too much Showtime TV. Things aren’t that intense in a low security jail like this one, I see. Still, I feel nervous. Like one wrong move, and they’ll lock me up in a cell next to Eli.
Penny spent a good part of yesterday evening trying to talk me out of my rage. I was just so damn pissed off after seeing that yoga video. Because I know that having an absentee parent can really fuck up a child. For a kid, there’s nothing worse than the sense of instability that comes from losing a parent. And Callie? She lost both of hers. While my niece is living each day in emotional limbo, her father is behind bars, twiddling his thumbs and her mother is at some yoga retreat, perfecting her downward warrior fish pose or whatever the fuck it’s called. That makes me livid.
Livid enough to confront my dead-beat brother.
I can’t understand the person he’s become. The man he turned into is completely unlike the brother I grew up with. The nerdy kid who wanted to follow in our dad’s footsteps. My closest brother. My constant sidekick.
Now, he’s a hardened criminal.
I’m still sitting at the table, knee bouncing, when an oversized guard escorts Eli into the visitor’s room.
His face…he looks the same, yet so very different. It’s like all the playful goofiness of the little brother I once knew is gone. His youthfulness is gone. I see the face of a man who’s been hardened by tough times.
Eli drops onto the bench across from me, resting his arms on the table between us. “Hey.”
I nod in response. “Hey.”
He wears a mix of suspicion and resentment as we stare each other down, examining each other after nearly three years spent apart.
I came here to confront him. To demand answers. But when I take a good look at him, my angry resolve loosens and a bit of compassion trickles in. I can’t help but feel bad for Eli. Now that I’m here, it’s hard to find the right words.
After a few beats of silence, when it becomes apparent to my brother that I’m struggling for wha
t to say, he speaks. “How’s life?” Even his voice seems harder than I recall.
I shrug. “It’s been good.”
Eli’s mouth twitches with a half grin. “Jude and Cannon are both in relationships now?”
It looks like our parents have kept him filled in on the big events he’s missed out on since he’s been here.
“Yeah.” I wear a little grin of my own.
“I still can’t picture that happening,” he admits. “Especially for Jude.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, that one had us all pretty shocked.” Our youngest brother is such a damn jokester. Him falling in love and settling down so soon really hadn’t been on anyone’s radar. But Iris is a Merlini and those women steal souls.
“And what have you been up to?” He leans back in his chair.
“I…uh…” This is a little harder to explain. “Penny wanted to have a baby. So, I’m helping her out with that. You know. Just to help her out,” I mutter.
His eyes widen. “She’s pregnant then?”
“Yeah, she’s a little more than three months along now.”
“Well, congrats. You and Penny always did belong together.”
I’m already shaking my head. “Nah. Nah, it’s not like that. We’re not together like that. I’m just helping her.”
Eli frowns. “Okay. So you knocked her up and are still just friends? Whatever makes you happy then, I guess.”
It’s hard to explain something I don’t understand myself so I shift the conversation, no longer wanting to be in the hot seat. I tell my brother about the renewable energy technologies we’re exploring on the farm. Eli talks about the shitty food and about how he keeps himself busy during the day. Talking to him still feels easy, familiar. I pull a small bit of comfort from that. But his eyes keep darting to the large clock on the wall.
I raise a brow. “You got somewhere to be?” Sarcasm rips through my tone.
He chuckles softly and lowers his head. “Nah, nah…I’m just regretting our time closing in on us.”
When he looks up at me, I get a glimpse of the man he used to be before all this shit happened, the brother I could relate to once upon a time.
But I can’t let myself forget; his reckless and irresponsible behavior landed his ass right here. He committed fraud and got busted, leaving behind a wife and child who depended on him.
Now that there’s a woman out there carrying my own child, I need to get answers from my little brother. I need to understand how he could be so reckless. It’s been eating at me. We still have ten minutes left when I get the balls to say what I really came here to say.
“I can’t understand how you’d do this. How you’d commit a crime, knowing it could land you in prison.” I shake my head, frustrated. “Now that I’m going to be a father, I’d never do anything that would compromise my family. Nothing’s more important than protecting them.” I halt when my mind registers the words that just came out of my mouth. Penny and the kid aren’t yours, idiot, my brain reminds me. “I guess what I’m asking is, why? Why did you do it, Eli?”
“I didn’t.”
“Didn’t… what?” I fight back my irritation. I can’t believe he’s going to lie straight to my face. “Didn’t commit fraud? That ten-page court verdict sure says otherwise.”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t do it, Walker. You won’t believe me. No one will. But I am innocent,” he insists.
“You pled guilty, Eli. Explain that to me.”
His eyes dart around. “I can’t. Just know that…I’m protecting my family, despite all appearances.”
“How is this protecting them?” I gesture to our surroundings. “Your wife ran off, left your kid without any parents. Ma and Dad are protecting her. I’m protecting her. Hell, the nanny is protecting her. Not you.”
The veins in his neck bulge. He speaks through gritted teeth. “Y’know, it means a lot to me that you guys are looking out for Callie. More than you’ll ever fucking know. But you don’t have the full story.” His shoulders slump. He pinches the bridge of his nose. “And I had no way of knowing that Gabby would file for divorce and disappear—”
“Divorce?!” I bark out.
He scrubs a hand down his face, looking defeated. “Yeah, divorce, man. It got finalized a few weeks ago.” He meets my eyes. “Just…just don’t tell Mom and Dad. I don’t want them worrying any more than they already do.”
Shit, this is a lot. I give him a curt nod. “I’m sorry, man.” I hesitate. “How would you feel if I told you I know where Gabby is?”
Eli’s eyes narrow. He examines my face like he’s trying to determine whether I’m bullshitting him. Then his expression turns to stone. “I’d say Gabby could go fuck herself. I don’t want a damn thing to do with that woman. The best thing she could do at this point is just stay the hell away from Callie.”
I think my shock comes through on my face because that’s not what I was expecting him to say. I was expecting him to demand that I hunt down his ex and drag her home to be the mother Callie deserves.
It’s like my brother can read what I’m thinking. “I’m serious, Walker,” he insists. “I don’t want Gabby anywhere near my child…She’s gone. Let her stay gone.”
I’m so damn confused by all the things he’s telling me and I’m concerned there’s more that he’s not saying. But by his hardened expression, I know whatever it is, I’m not going to get it out of him today.
He changes the subject. Now he’s the one scrutinizing me. “You know you keep referring to Penny and her baby as your family, right?” I meet his gaze, eyes narrowed. He continues. “But then you say you’re not together or anything.”
“We’re not.”
A smile dances on his lips. “Well then, you obviously have your own shit to work out, brother.”
I can’t even argue with that.
When our hour is up, we stand, and I wrap my arms around Eli in a tight, manly embrace. It’s been way too long since I hugged my brother. And despite our differences, I still love the asshole. “I’ll come back to visit…” I hesitate. “…Soon. Take care of yourself.”
He hugs me back. “You guys, just keep taking care of my kid. That little girl is all I care about.”
The thought of Callie makes my heart go tight. I think about the pain she’s been going through since her family was torn apart. I wonder if my own kid will feel that pain if he has to grow up without a dad. I wonder if Penny will get stuck trying to explain it all while I sit on the sidelines. Fuck.
“Hey now, Kingston!” I hear shouting coming from one of the guards in the corner. “You need some privacy for your little conjugal visit over there? Cut that shit out, man!”
Laughter rings out around us, and I jump back, a little freaked out, to be honest.
Eli just points at me. “Christ, your face is priceless.” He chuckles as he walks back to meet his escort by the door. “You’re not cut out for this life, you big softie. Get out of here. Hurry back to Penny and your kid. Hurry back to your family.”
41
Penny
I’m curled up on the couch with a baby book. It’s one of the many parenting manuals I borrowed from Lexi. I don’t know how I’m going to get through all of these before the baby is born. There is just so much freaking stuff to learn. It makes me a little anxious.
I’m deep into a chapter about decoding your child’s cries—which seems damn near impossible, if you ask me—when Walker comes through the cabin’s front door.
He’s been gone all day, claiming he had some business to take care of out of town. It’s not like him to be away from the farm all day, so I assume whatever it was, it was important. I’m guessing he went to check out some of that new farm equipment he’s been talking about.
Sustainable agriculture means so much to him. So does doing his part to take care of the planet. Most people look at him and see nothing but a hard exterior but he really is a gentle soul.
Diana kept me company in Walker’s absence, though. She came by mid
-morning with leftover wedding cake from the guesthouse, baby albums and a box full of adorable onesies her boys wore as infants. We talked and we laughed as we pored over Kingston family memories. Then she fed me into a food coma that resulted in a three-hour nap for me after lunch.
“Hey.” Walker drops down next to me.
“Hey.” My gut twists up like a pretzel with him so near. Close proximity to him still makes me fluttery.
“What you reading?” He grabs my wrist and playfully flips it over to peek at the cover of my paperback.
The gesture says he’s not in the mood for heavy conversation right now. So does the light smile barely curling his mouth. But I see something heavy on his brow. Despite his carefree attitude, something’s bothering him.
“Baby books,” I say. I examine his tense expression. “You good?”
He nods. “I’m good.”
He’s lying his ass off but I decide not to pry. I can tell it’s not the time. He’s trying to unwind, to break free of whatever thoughts have him so tense.
I wish I could help loosen that tension in his broad back. I want to unbutton his shirt, peel off the fabric and knead those wide shoulders with my fingertips until his stress fades away. My mind is spiralling into inappropriate territory. I silently scold myself and hope Walker can’t read my thoughts on my face.
Gosh—I really need to get my own apartment. Because I’m not sure how much longer I can stay here without jumping this man’s bones. Walker promised he would help me find a place, but when I circled a bunch of rental options in the newspaper a few weeks back, he found fault with every single one. Since then, I haven’t heard anything else on the topic. Walker’s a busy guy though. He works more hours than anyone I know. Farming is no joke.
In any case, I’m not exactly in a hurry to leave. Not only do I thoroughly enjoy the man’s company, but I think I’ve fallen in love with the farm, too. It may be wrong, but for the time being, I don’t plan on bringing up the topic unless he does.
Mister Baby Daddy (Bad Boys in Love Book 3) Page 20