Before Cliff deployed, an army wife living in Nashville while her husband was deployed saw a newspaper article about Sara and contacted her. The two met for lunch.
“We had the best time talking and laughing and realizing that neither of us were crazy; we related to what we were going through,” said Sara. “We wondered, Is there someone else in Nashville who would enjoy this fellowship too?”
Within a month, Sara created a website and an email address with the intention of finding other Christian military wives in Nashville. It worked. In December 2006, ten ladies from all branches came for their first meeting and began meeting monthly. Wives of Faith was born.
Soon, other military wives across the country heard about Wives of Faith and modeled their own groups after Sara’s.
“We have ladies who contact us all the time about starting chapters,” said Sara. “I’m in the process of putting a lot of content on the website (www.wivesoffaith.org) to help them along the way.”
Military wives have emailed Sara for help with marriage, family, and deployment struggles. “So many times all I can do is pray for them and point them in the right direction,” said Sara. “But when I walk beside another military wife, I am making a difference in ways I might not realize.”
No matter what challenges God allows us to face, we can all use those to support and encourage others in the same situation.
Prayer:
Lord, help me see my trials and springboards for ministry to others.
“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)
September 7
THE RIGHT PROMISES
Sara Horn, wife of BU1 Cliff Horn, U.S. Navy Reserves, Iraq (2007–2008)
When Cliff Horn, a Seabee, went to Iraq and was assigned to a special task force working with a special forces unit, communication between Caleb and his daddy all but ground to a halt.
The pictures stopped coming. The Web cam no longer brought Cliff back into Caleb’s world. When Cliff was able to call home, it was always late at night when the little boy was fast asleep.
“Kids see how we react and handle things,” said Sara. “I tried to be positive around Caleb about the deployment, but the first month that Cliff was in Iraq was really hard on him.”
In those first thirty days, Sara noticed that Caleb had two major meltdowns. He would cry despondently. “I finally sat down with him and asked if he was upset about his dad being away. He told me he had a bad dream that Daddy had been shot.”
Sara debated about what to do to make her son feel more secure. “The biggest tendency is to say, ‘Daddy is safe, he’s not going to get hurt.’ But you can’t guarantee that. I always said, ‘We know that God is looking out for Daddy, God is watching over Daddy.”
The next time Cliff called, Sara told him about Caleb’s dream and asked if there was any way he could send a picture of himself doing his job that wasn’t combat but construction. So Cliff got a photo approved by the unit of him in a bulldozer and emailed it home. Sara printed it out and had it ready when Caleb came home from school that day. Once he saw that picture, the nightmares stopped.
“We prayed for Cliff every night, but I had to be careful that I didn’t make promises I that I questioned if I could keep,” said Sara. “We’re at war. It’s a great time to emphasize the importance of prayer and trusting God, knowing God is in control no matter what.”
God doesn’t promise his children that life will be without pain, either. But he does tell us he won’t let us go through it without him.
Prayer:
Lord, help me find comfort in your promises.
“God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” (Hebrews 13:5)
September 8
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY?
Sara Horn, wife of BU1 Cliff Horn, U.S. Navy Reserves, Iraq (2007–2008)
On the Fourth of July, 2007, Sara Horn did not feel like celebrating. She sat on the couch alone, curtains drawn, while Caleb played outside. She stared blankly at the turned-off television in front of her, which stared just as blankly back.
I can’t go on, she thought. I am so done. Tired. Spent. This is too hard. I can’t do this by myself.
“It was the lowest point of the deployment for me,” Sara remembered. “Our close friends had disappeared. They didn’t check on me or email Cliff anymore. It was getting hard to do the ministry of Wives of Faith because I got caught up in my own struggles of deployment.”
But on that Independence Day, God told Sara she didn’t need to try to be so independent: You aren’t supposed to do this by yourself, she could almost hear him say. You have been trying to do this by yourself for the last seven months. But you need me and my strength is sufficient for you.
It was a turning point for Sara. “I realized I needed to turn it over to God and let him provide the strength I needed instead of me doing it all myself,” That’s something that I’m trying to share with other wives, also. I think we have it in our heads (because it’s drilled into our culture) that we have to be strong for everybody, but often we can’t be. We just can’t. But God is the strongest when we are the weakest. That’s what we have to remember and focus on we’re not supposed to have it all together.”
The Horns are expecting a second deployment in 2011, and Sara is hoping to use what she has learned so far. “God has taught me so much about leaning on him and finding strength,” she said. “I haven’t learned it all, but if I can just share what I’m learning with someone else. It makes it all worth it. God put us here to share our struggles and help each other.”
As Americans, we pride ourselves on having a can-do attitude, but may we remember that without Christ, we can do nothing.
Prayer:
Lord, don’t let me pride and self-sufficiency prevent me from relying on your strength.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
September 9
ENCOURAGED BY COMMUNITY
Benita Koeman, wife of Chaplain (Capt.) Scott Koeman, Iraq 2003; Qatar/Afghanistan (2005–2006)
New Year’s Eve, 2002. Friends from our church snapped a photo of my husband Scott and me together as we prepared to toast in the New Year. And what a year it would be. God was calling Scott to full-time ministry in the U.S. Army as a chaplain, and we were somewhat excited about the new military adventure that lay ahead. But things were heating up in Iraq and our New Year’s celebration was tainted with a bit of anxiety as we faced impending deployment and many unknowns.
While Scott served in the National Guard, I was accustomed to him being gone one weekend a month, and one month in the year, but the army? I knew nothing about the army. How long would Scott be deployed? Would there be chemical weapons involved? One thing I was certain of was that in three months I was going to be delivering our third child, and my husband was not going to be present.
My mother-in-law kept me occupied on the day of Scott’s departure. On the second day of deployment, one of our church friends brought us lunch and stayed to eat with us. Evidence of God’s provision continued to show through his children: prayers, meals, companionship, childcare, and other gestures of support and encouragement.
In mid-March the invasion into Iraq began, and with parting words of love, encouragement, and prayers for my husband, I wrote “Know that we will be fine… don’t worry about us. You know that so many people are caring for us here.”
I was raised to be independent and help myself, so it was awkward to receive the extra attention. Being on the receiving end was hard to swallow. I did not want to be portrayed as needy or helpless. But when I look back at our first deployment, I fondly recall what it truly feels like to experience Christian community. We were surrounded by people who loved us and cared about us. God used his church and our family to tangibly embrace us during those uncertain months.
Prayer:
Lord, help me be humble enough to allow others to serve me when I nee
d it.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
September 10
OPERATION WE ARE HERE
Benita Koeman, wife of Chaplain (Capt.) Scott Koeman, Iraq 2003; Qatar/Afghanistan (2005–2006)
It was July 28, 2005. The kids and I arrived home from dropping Scott off at the airport to a driveway littered with his residual attempts of packing for Qatar. Two years prior, our family left this civilian community for our new military installation. We had returned home for Scott’s second deployment, counting on the support we expected from the people who knew us best.
I adopted a genuine, “I can do this” attitude about the deployment. But I couldn’t do it alone, and most good intentions to help, from the people we loved fell by the wayside. As I struggled to take care of our young children (ages two, four, and six years old), I felt alone and abandoned. At one point I bordered depression. I tried my best to smile, to fake like all was okay, and to convince myself it was. But it wasn’t.
Upon my husband’s return we PCS’d (permanent change of station), I carried residual hurt and anger. Many nights I would lie awake and ask God, “What do I do with this?” and “Where do I go from here?”
As time passed I heard other military wives share their stories of hurt and disappointment because of the lack of support from their churches. I realized that our churches and others who loved us do not intentionally forsake their support they just don’t understand our struggles. To create an awareness of the challenges of the military home front, the website Operation We Are Here was born. This became a site to offer practical suggestions, support, and encouragement.
Over time, God removed my hurts and redeemed a very painful year for His glory. I was committed to honor him despite my circumstances. I learned by experience that people (even those who love us) will disappoint us and that our circumstances hold no guarantees. But importantly, I was reminded that God will not abandon me. He is good, and I continue to put my hope and my trust in Him.
Prayer:
Father, when life is tough and just doesn’t make sense, help me to take my eyes off of myself and lift my gaze to You, for only You can satisfy.
“Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup, and have made my lot secure.” (Psalm 16:5)
September 11
BRAVE FACE, TENDER HEART
Sonja and SFC Jason Mannarino, Iraq (2006–2007)
No one ever told Sonja Mannarino that deployment would be easy. But no one told her it would be this hard, either.
Her daughter was fifteen and her sons were eleven and four years old when her husband of sixteen years deployed. While Jason encountered enemy fire in Iraq, Sonja felt like the home front was under attack as well. Her four-year-old son cried for days after saying goodbye to his daddy, especially at night because Jason always tucked him into bed. Her eleven-year-old son went through depression and gained a lot of weight, eating to fill the void where his dad had been.
“It was hard for him. He was Dad’s helper working on cars or in the yard together,” said Sonja. “He had a lot of anger too and took it out on me verbally. I had to sit down with him and say, ‘What you’re doing is not right.’ It tore my heart out because there was nothing I could do.”
Every day Sonja put on a brave face and tried to be strong for the children. But every night, after the kids were in bed, she was the one crying to her Heavenly Father for comfort. “At night, I felt alone,” she said. “I was trying to smile for my kids, but the pain was still there with Jason being gone. As time went on, things got easier but it was still hard, especially on certain days like Father’s Day, Christmas, and the first day of school.”
The Bible is full of heroes who faced fear even as they took the path God had set before them. Joshua had to be told four times in Joshua 1 to “be strong and courageous.” In the psalms, David cries out to God many times in fear for his life. Queen Esther feared for her safety as well. Following God’s will doesn’t mean we will not fear, but it does mean that God will walk beside us every step of the way.
Prayer:
Lord, turn my fear into confidence in your power, not mine.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you….” (Isaiah 43:1b–2a)
September 12
SECRET WEAPON
Sonja and SFC Jason Mannarino, Iraq (2006–2007)
As Sonja held down the fort, she quickly saw the need to go on the offensive against spirits of fear, worry, resentment, anger, and bitterness. Instead of waiting for discouragement to invade and occupy her home, she countered this obstacle at every turn by wielding the Sword of Truth: God’s Word.
Her tactic was simple: she printed Scripture verses off from her computer and stuck them all around her house with Scotch tape so God’s Word would constantly be before her eyes and the eyes of her children.
Taped next to her bathroom mirror: Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength; we will sing and praise your might (Psalm 21:13).
Taped inside her kitchen cupboard: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me (Psalm 23:4).
Taped above her dresser: He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord (Psalm 112:7).
Taped in her living room: But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds (Psalm 73:28).
The result was powerful. Instead of dwelling on the unknown of the future, Sonja chose to dwell on what she did know that God is good, and he’s in control. Even after Jason returned from deployment the following year, Sonja left those verses hanging around her home.
“Without God, I couldn’t have made it,” she said. “I needed comfort and peace, and he gave it to me. That is just amazing. Jason and I prayed with each other through email. We would speak to each other about God and Scriptures to lift our spirits. God’s presence was really strong.”
Sonja was able to ward off attacks from the Enemy by claiming God’s truths. Meditating on Scripture cleared her mind and heart of the swirling negative thoughts that threatened to consume her. You can do the same.
Prayer:
Lord, give me the discipline I need to study and memorize your Word.
“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)
September 13
DANGER AND PROTECTION
SFC Jason Mannarino, Iraq (2006–2007)
When SFC Mannarino was stationed in Taji, Iraq, he could count on one thing he would be fired upon every day.
“I didn’t know if I’d live another five minutes let alone make it through the deployment,” he said. “We got shot at, mortared, attacked constantly. It was a daily occurrence, two to four times a day. I wasn’t in a great place.”
One day, an 82mm mortar landed five feet from Mannarino in the spot where he had been standing a moment earlier and blew up in the air. “Mortars are designed to blow out, but it blew up, away from me,” he said. “I felt the Holy Spirit protecting me.”
Another day, two of his soldiers were hit with mortars and needed to be flown to Germany for medical care. Mannarino also witnessed an Iraqi security guard across the street get his face blown off from sniper fire.
These are experiences he didn’t write home about to Sonja and the kids. In fact, he didn’t even have time to process the danger and loss of life surrounding him on a regular basis. He knew his life was at risk, but he also knew God was watching out for him. Mannarino read Psalm 91 daily and left his Bible open to it even when he was not in his room.
“I became very desensitized, but now that I’m home, it does catch up to me,” he said. “I’ve been back for two years. I still have moments where I’ll talk to guys about
Iraq, and I’ll have to quit because it really brings back a flood of emotion that I never dealt with.”
Soldiers like Mannarino may not come home with visible injuries, but their spirits might need some healing after what they’ve experienced. Jesus, the Great Physician, has the power to heal not only our bodies but our minds, hearts and spirits as well.
Prayer:
Lord, heal my troubled spirit and renew my soul again.
“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.” (Psalm 90:14–15)
September 14
FINDING PURPOSE
SFC Jason Mannarino, Iraq (2006–2007)
In the beginning of his deployment, SFC Jason Mannarino didn’t want to go on, but he did anyway. It wasn’t his own hardship that was on his mind, however. It was his family’s.
“I know Sonja and the kids had a tough time coping with the entire thing,” he said. “I told her, ‘There has to be a purpose. There’s got to be a reason that this is happening to us in this portion of our lives. God’s got a plan. I don’t know what it is, but he has a plan.’”
The hardest part for Jason, he said, was knowing that his wife and children were having an extremely difficult time. “I thought about them every minute of every day. They were my drive to come home. They are what I live for.”
Looking back on the deployment now, Sonja said the experience invigorated her marriage and brought them closer to each other and to God. “Before, we didn’t have the greatest marriage,” said Sonja. “We didn’t hate or yell at each other, we were just kind of far apart. I see now that there was a purpose for this deployment; God opened up my eyes to see that I can make it through difficult times if I rely on him. My faith just got stronger. Jason and I are closer now to each other, and we’re closer as a family.”
Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan Page 35