December 6
DEALING WITH STRESS
Don Richards, Psychologist Counseling Military Veterans
One soldier commented:
The quietness was uncomfortable. Only a few hours ago I was in combat. A man died; he was sitting in the place I was supposed to be. It should have been me. Life ends so quickly. Now I’m safe and they are preparing him to go home. I have to let my family know I am okay if the news reports anything. But how do you call home after an event like that? How do I let them know I am okay without scaring them?
Some people share everything with their families. I think that is a mistake. It is not their role to live the trauma with you. They are trying to survive a different stress, and those descriptions only add to weight they must carry. It is equally true that you shouldn’t hide everything from them. After a while it will build such a barrier between you that nothing significant is shared.
There is an advantage in discussing the possibility of this type of experiences prior to deployment. The weeks leading up to deployment are stressful, and many couples elect to not discuss anything related to the approaching separation. They fear that it will only lead to argument and distance. This just illustrates how stress levels increase dramatically even before the loved one leaves. Most people do not understand that level of stress. These issues require a support group, someone to facilitate the emotional groundwork required to make it through the deployment.
The deployed soldier can compartmentalize the stress given the relative simplicity of deployed life. (After all, cooking and laundry are handled for you.) Families at home have a much different environment in which to survive. Despite the day’s traumatic events, milk and bread must still be purchased, dinner must be made, dishes and laundry must be tended to, children must be cleaned and fed and tucked in bed and then they struggle to get enough sleep to start it all over again the next day. This is done in communities that largely do not recognize them or the trial their families are going through. There is pitifully weak support in most of America for deployed families, and very few who understand the severity of the stress they endure.
Prayer:
Dear God, use the books like this one and Faith Deployed to raise awareness for the need to support the families of those serving in the armed forces in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere around the world.
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayer.” (1 Peter 3:7)
December 7
POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME
Don Richards, Psychologist Counseling Military Veterans
Another soldier commented:
I saw a lot of combat. Our unit took casualties in Najaf and Fallujah. I don’t have to talk about it when I am around my guys, and I don’t know how to talk about it when I am around friends from back home. I don’t know if I have PTSD or not. When I am around my guys I feel fine; when I am around my family or friends they just don’t understand. I can’t relate to them. I struggle even to want to relate to them.
There is a saying that PTSD (now referred to as PTSS or Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome), goes away when the victim is around other vets. Do soldiers stop suffering from PTSS around comrades or is it that the events are more understood and the stress reduced when they are with those who share the experience?
It is human nature to feel more comfortable around those who are familiar with our experience. That’s true for PTSS regardless of whether it’s from combat experience or sexual abuse. That’s why we have groups for PTSS. There is a significant comfort that comes from not having to explain yourself or why an experience was traumatic.
Let me emphasize that someone should not base a decision about whether or not to seek help on the way he or she feels or behaves around others who went through the same experience. PTSS is the way those experiences effect a soldier outside that circle of comrades and friends. It is the way it affects his or her relationships with family and friends, coworkers, and supervisors. If those relationships are suffering or if one’s ability to function in civilian life is affected by traumatic experiences then that person should seek help.
It’s not how the veteran relates to other veterans but rather how he relates to his family and his obligations once he returns home, that is the question. This is one area the veteran should lean upon family. Trust their impressions. Comrades may be unable to tell whether or not a fellow soldier’s experiences are affecting the ability to function. A soldier’s family however, knows their loved one. Family members can more easily detect dysfunction and adjustment stress.
Prayer:
Please bring your healing to my loved one or friend or fellow church member who is suffering from PTSS. May he/she receive the professional and personal support that is needed.
“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” (3 John:2)
December 8
THE IMPORTANCE OF DEBRIEFING
Don Richards, Psychologist Counseling Military Veterans
One soldier shared this story:
We hot-washed everything. Debriefing immediately after an action was a definite force multiplier. That meant when we returned from an operation we talked about what happened the good, the bad and the ugly. It was essential that we not lose the value of experiences that we paid for with blood, sweat and a great deal of effort. There was another benefit though; everyone understood what happened more clearly. Those close to people who were wounded weren’t allowed to sulk in personal pity. They realized they did their job and the injury wasn’t due to their actions or inactions. It enabled them to get back up on the horse. Reality was we were going back out tomorrow and our heads had to be in the game, and not replaying yesterday’s events.”
Cognitive rehabilitation is the process of evaluating an event and framing it in a progressively more healthy way. It is one of the primary tools in treating Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSS). The reality is the earlier it is done the more profound the ability to deal with traumatic events. Units that advocate early debriefing with an emphasis on cognitive rehabilitation will see fewer PTSS casualties.
Early debriefing does appear to change the impact of traumatic events. I have seen this and try to incorporate it not only among my military experience but in the emergency department. If something bad happens it is very worthwhile to take my nurses and techs involved and let them know that they did everything right and they weren’t responsible for something bad happening.
I would have to say that from my experience that early debriefing is the most valuable tool in preventing damage from traumatic events. I don’t have the luxury of being with them immediately after an event. If early debriefing was done effectively I wouldn’t be unraveling significant psychological issues and trying to break down defensive postures my patients have established over the years. Perhaps I would only be focusing on more practical issues of adjustment. If debriefing was done well it would diffuse a great deal of distress and issues involved in posttraumatic stress syndrome.
Prayer:
Dear Lord, please help those in combat situations today to receive the early debriefing they need. Please protect them from PTSS.
“I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint.” (Habakkuk 2:1)
December 9
CONCERN AND HELP SO NECESSARY
Don Richards, Psychologist Counseling Military Veterans
This soldier’s wife told her story:
Our neighbors were always nice to me. I do not believe they had any idea how hard it was keeping things going alone. The struggle was beyond what I thought I could bear. I did not know how to keep going. Occasionally someone would offer to help. At first I didn’t feel comfortable accepting the help, but as the months pas
sed by it became easier, especially from those who had gone through a similar situation. The help offered was inconsistent and although it was a nice gesture, it was brief, and rarely enough to feel like I had a real break.
It is important to initiate contact and reach out to families separated by deployment. They need time, and help with daily tasks, and often their responsibilities leave no time to call and ask for help. The contact can be as simple as a phone call, a loaf of pumpkin bread in the mailbox, a card on the door, ribbon on the house, mowing the grass without being asked, food on the doorstep. Anything that reminds spouses at home that they are not alone is support. If they have children, plan to entertain the kids, or get a gift certificate to a spa and watch the kids while they get pampered.
Many people ask how they can help? I tell them whatever you do for your family do for them. If you wash your car or your spouse’s car then go and wash their car. If you cut the grass go and do that. If you cook then prepare a meal. Don’t ask, just do. They will not tell you what they need.
One man from the church stated:
It got to the point that I couldn’t tell her I was going to cut the grass, because she would drop what she was doing and cut the grass before I arrived. I would wait until I turned on their street and then call.
Our churches also should support these families in the same way as it does when a member is undergoing severe trial. It’s much the same as somebody who has a family member who is dying with cancer. Recognizing the trial and praying openly for them is very comforting and empowering.
During the observance of Veterans Day and Memorial Day, it’s very important to emphasize the service and sacrifice of these families. They give a unique gift to our country and need to be recognized. The recognition is not for their benefit alone, it is also helpful to guide the focus of the fellowship and stimulate the support that is so needed by these families.
Prayer:
Dear God, please use me in my church to help raise awareness, support, and practical assistance for the families of soldiers serving overseas.
“David replied, ‘No, my brothers, you must not do that with what the LORD has given us. He has protected us and handed over to us the forces that came against us. Who will listen to what you say? The share of the man who stayed with the supplies is to be the same as that of him who went down to the battle. All will share alike.’ David made this a statute and ordinance for Israel from that day to this.’” (1 Samuel 30:23–25)
December 10
LOOKING TO GOD
Don Richards, Psychologist Counseling Military Veterans
Another soldier shared this insight:
“I do not know how guys get through the experience of combat without an anchor to reality like my faith provides me. I had heard the saying that there are no atheists in foxholes but I saw a different picture. Sure, most of those I was around professed belief in God, but those that didn’t weren’t convinced of his presence after combat, many were just shocked they were numbed. The frailty of life is not lost on those who do not believe in God.”
The deploying soldier should prioritize their time and take advantage of the faith-based resources the military offers while deployed. Chaplains are a part of the military and their heritage extends all the way back to our country’s founding. They accompany troops on deployment and a vital part of the support base for soldiers deployed abroad. The enemy views them as morale officers. They do serve a vital function that effects morale, but beyond that they can also serve as the anchor to the faith that is so core to most of us.
Going into potentially traumatic events without a connection to your faith is no different than going into a combat zone without a weapon. You also wouldn’t head into combat without body armor. An active pursuit of a relationship with God, including dealing with doubt and the fundamental questions that arise when you’re in a situation like combat are as important as any other preparation of battle. For you to return home safe and of sound mind you must be able to ask those kinds of questions and seek help to find the answers. How could a loving God allow things that happen in war to go on?
These are significant questions that we know arise in most people. The ability to point the individual to a sovereign God who truly is above and over the situation is enabling. The structure of having chaplains conducting worship services and Bible studies along with individual counseling is imperative for soldiers of faith who are in perilous circumstances.
Body armor obviously protects the body. The armor of God protects the soul, your faith, and sometimes your sanity.
Prayer:
Thank you so much for the countless thousands of soldiers who have truly committed their lives to Jesus Christ while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Please continue to bring thousands more to Christ. Give them Your full armor, God, so they can stand their ground against the Devil’s schemes.
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm…” (Ephesians 6:10–14)
December 11
GRENADE ATTACK
Capt. David Graves, Officer with a Provisional Reconstruction Team
It was August 31, 2006. We had gone down to Anbar, the same city they had found Saddam Hussein hiding in a hole. It’s on the east side of the Tigris, about fifteen miles south of Tikrit. FOB Spiecher was on the north side of Tikrit so it was about a forty-five minute drive from the base. We made it down there by riding with another unit that I was not comfortable with. Part of our mission was to inspect the courthouses and determine whether or not they needed computers, a holding facility, or other infrastructure needs.
The insurgency was heating up all around us. Fortunately our convoy down to Anbar was uneventful.
After we arrived we began the meeting with the Iraqi judge in the courthouse. In the meeting was an Air Force JAG colonel I was working for, an interpreter, and a major from the unit that took us down there and myself. Outside, our guys were pulling security. After a while the security guys came up to remind us that we’d been there for about thirty to thirty-five minutes and said that we needed to be getting on the road. We wrapped things up and headed outside.
We were stepping back out to the vehicles to get ready to leave. The courthouse was set at one of the main intersections in the city. Here was a traditional Iraqi compound with a five-foot high concrete wall surrounding the courthouse complex. The guys had turned the vehicles around and were ready to head out. Another mission completed.
We had received a brief earlier that morning to let us know that there was another convoy approaching our area. It was a familiarization convoy to allow new unit commanders to see the area and get familiar with everything around them.
I opened the door to my truck to get into the Tactical Convoy Commander (TCC) position, put my weapon into the vehicle, and saw the first vehicle of the other convoy come through the intersection. As I put my gun down I heard what sounded at the time as a gunshot. In my experience in Iraq you would hear gunfire all the time. The police at times directed traffic by shooting AK-47s. Gunfire didn’t really send up much of a red flag for us.
What had actually happened was an insurgent had thrown a grenade at us. The grenade hit the top of the wall around the compound. It sounded muffled in sound, like a gunshot to me. I don’t know why it landed outside the wall instead of inside the wall. There was a lot that would happen that day I would not understand.
Prayer:
Lord, thank you that in everything, even war, you rule over all. Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
David Graves was an officer with a provisional
reconstruction team in Iraq in 2006.
“Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.” (1 Chronicles 29:11–13)
December 12
MORE GRENADES
Capt. David Graves, Officer with a Provisional Reconstruction Team
After the grenade exploded, I grabbed my weapon and turned around and started looking. I couldn’t find anybody to engage. It seemed like a typical insurgent attack. Fire and run. There was nothing to shoot at, so we went ahead and loaded up in the truck. I again set my rifle down and climbed in. What we did not know was that the grenade was used to try to flush us out and push us into the ambush. They had set up on the Main Supply Route (MSR) about a block down from us. By now the other convoy was coming through the intersection and the lead truck was about a block down.
The insurgents threw hand grenades from the rooftops down onto the other convoy. There were two hand grenades that hit the last truck. These were not regular hand grenades. They were RPK-3 Russian antitank grenades with a shaped charge in the front end of the grenade. The first RPK-3 hit right in front of the Tactical Convoy Commander position and blew a basketball-sized hole in the top of the armored truck. It peeled the steel plate down with the full force of the blast and shrapnel going straight into the TCC’s lap.
Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan Page 47