by Kaci Hart
She placed her hand over his on the table as everyone talked, and said her own private thank you to God for the joy He was letting her experience.
***
Three weeks later.
Nick stood in the flower shop looking at various bouquets. He wanted to find something that would convey to Donna just how special she was to him. She was the one for him and he was sure of it by then. They had only been dating for a few months, but it felt like it was just right. The best thing in his mind was that it wasn’t even a carnal feeling. Not that he wasn’t physically attracted to her, because he was. He acknowledged those feelings but that wasn’t what he cared about because he knew that those feelings could come and go. More importantly, they simply enjoyed each other’s company.
Being with her reminded him of when he would watch his mom and dad together. Or even Emily and Aaron. They had the kind of oneness where they kind of clicked together. It was funny because when they were together he was happiest and when they were apart, all he thought about was getting back to her again. He could have written a million love songs with her as the centerpiece of each of them. It was lucky for him that he couldn’t really hold a tune or else he probably would have been singing to her every day. That would have probably ended the relationship before it ever started.
In the midst of thinking about her, he understood why men those days could totally frustrate women. He always found it strange how some guys would date a woman for several years, engage her for a few more and then set a date to marry, only to break it off at the end. That wasn’t the mold he fit. He was more of a grab the bull by the horns and hang on for a great ride kind of guy. Everything in him was pushing him in that direction and he wasn’t the type of guy that needed months or years to tell he was in love.
A featured bouquet caught his eye and he stopped in front of it to read the descriptor card.
For your Love
Nothing says love like red roses
Nothing says beautiful like white lilies.
The perfect combination creating
A shower of romance she’ll never forget...
Show her how you feel with this unique arrangement today!
At first thought when he entered the flower shop that day, he was going to get her a dozen red roses but that was too cliché, even for him. He looked at the blended combination of red and white flowers and knew instantly that it was the one he wanted to give her. He had found out completely by happenstance recently that her favorite flower was the white lily. He was supremely excited to be able to find a mixture with red roses. It was the perfect bouquet to say tell her a bit more about how much he cared about her. Nick hadn’t told her the depths of his feelings yet but he felt like that day was going to be the day he did so. In fact, he was bursting inside to let her know right then. Luckily for him, it was Friday afternoon so she would be at the other job and not the office. He was sure he wouldn’t have accomplished a thing with her there.
“Nick. Did you find something you like there?”
Tom was the owner of the flower shop. Nick had seen him around town occasionally but didn’t know him well. That was before meeting Donna of course. With her having been such an anti-romantic when he first met her, he was determined to pull out all the stops on the romance train including surprise flowers on an ongoing basis. Because of that, he and Tom had come to know each other on a first name basis.
“Yes sir, I have. I want to get this one right here.”
“Oh for your love. Getting serious if you’re moving up the chain like that.”
“Well I certainly hope so.”
“Congratulations for you then.”
The older man grabbed the clear bluish vase.
“Did you want this vase with it as well?”
“Why not. It’s the whole package that caught my eye.”
“Ok. Let me get these packaged up for you then. When and where do you want these delivered Nick? The usual?”
“No I don’t think so today Tom. I’m going to deliver these myself. That’s the great thing about being the boss you know. Nobody is going to ask why I took a long lunch. Today I think that I deserve to be the one to see the smile on her face when she gets these. How long before they are ready.”
“Give me five minutes and I’ll have ‘em raring to go buddy.”
“Thanks Tom.”
He couldn’t wait to get them to her as soon as possible.
Chapter 10
Donna settled on the sofa, dialed Nick’s number, and waited for him to pick up. After the third ring, he finally did
“Hey Donna. I was just about to call you actually. Is everything ok?”
“Yeah.”
“I just wanted to make sure because I went by your office and they told me you had left for the day early in a bit of a rush. Are you sure everything is cool?”
Donna was silent for a few seconds. She really didn’t call him to unload her problems of the day on him. She just wanted to hear his voice and the peace that it gave her. She tried to respond to him without letting the sound of muffled tears through but she couldn’t hold them back.
“Donna? Are you crying? What’s going on? You have to talk to me.”
“Ok. I didn’t want to bother you with this but…”
Donna paused for a second, hearing traffic in the background noise of his phone.
“Nick are you driving? Aren’t you supposed to be at work now?”
“I was. I actually was out because I wanted...never mind that for now. Donna tell me what’s bothering you.”
She remembered he had just said he went by her office. It was a Friday so he would have expected her to be there for a few more hours at least. He must have been surprising her with lunch. She thought he was so sweet. Too bad he caught her on one of the saddest days she could remember in a while.
Boy can I be such a downer at times.
“Ok so here goes. I’m sure that by now you recognize that I really don’t talk to you that much about my father.”
“I wondered about that but figured that if it was something you ever wanted to talk to me about, then you would do so when the time was right.”
“Actually the timing sucks right now but you’re the only person I can talk to about it. My mom doesn’t understand. In fact she’s a big part of the problem.”
Donna took a deep breath just to stay calm. She didn’t like her father but was completely angry with her mom right then.
“Oh boy do I hate crying.”
“I know. Just talk to me. That’s all you have to do.”
“Where was I?”
“Father.”
“Of course. So he’s been in prison for the past few years. Nothing too much really. Just a series of repeated bad issues and a no nonsense judge that was apparently afraid that people were taking him too lightly. He made an example of my father and sent him to jail for several years. Frankly I don’t even know how much time he has left in there. I was relieved to be out from under his anger.”
Donna shivered at the thought of her father in one of his tantrums. She noticed that Nick was silent. Issuing the occasional ‘mmhmm’ or ‘I see’ form of support. She was glad for having him, right then especially.
“He was travelling down a really slippery slope and I figured that I’d never have to worry about him again. I didn’t want him in my life anymore. I actually never even went to visit him once and I’m not going to in the future. So I was in my office today after just finishing up a session and out of the blue, he calls me.”
“What?!”
“My sentiments exactly. I never even gave him my number. He got it from my mother. She gave it to him even though she knew that I didn’t want to talk to him. When he told me he had gotten it from her I asked him why he called me. He said that my mother had told him that I didn’t want to talk to him but that it’s not her place to do that. He said that he wanted to be in my life and that if I was going to refuse him the chance to earn my forgiveness, the least I could d
o was tell him myself.”
“Wow. What did you do with that?”
“You know me Nick. What do you think I did?”
“You didn’t, did you?”
“You know I did Nick. I laid into him. I told him right then and there that I didn’t love him and that I didn’t ever want to talk to him again. I told him that it was fine if mom wanted to forgive him but that it wasn’t in my heart. He told me that he didn’t think I meant it and I told him that I did and that I never even asked him to call in the first place. Then I… hung up.”
“Hmmm. Harsh, but I understand why. You have been through a lot with him. I have to ask you though, how do you feel about it?”
“I’m ok with it. It’s been a long time coming.”
“I get that, but how do you really feel about it Donna?”
Donna was confused. She’d already told him how she felt.
“I don’t get what you’re asking me.”
“Donna, I’m not the therapist here and I don’ claim to be. You are so much better than I could ever be at your job but let me ask you something. If one of your clients came into your office right now with the level of emotion and pain that you just expressed to me, would you believe that they were anywhere near ok about what they had just experienced?”
“No. But it’s different. I deal with this on a regular basis. I became a therapist so that I could help myself through my motions.”
“That’s just the thing Donna. You cried about everything in the past, but not about letting him go now. Here is this man that was a big part of your life. He was instrumental in you becoming the woman you are today, whether good influences or bad. How could you say that you never want to talk to him again and not feel something? There is no remorse. No sadness in your voice. You just say it pretty matter-of-factly. All the pain and sorrow you had went away completely with that question. How could that be?”
“Because it is Nick. It just is how it is. You know, I have been with this since I was a little girl Nick. This pain has been with me all my life. I’ve had to carry it forever.”
Donna sat balled up on the couch, poised to cry again.
“For years, I’ve had the most horrible dreams about him. I would wake up in the middle of the night sweating, scared, and crying. Sometimes I would even wake myself up with my own screams. See it’s not that I don’t care Nick. I do. The whole truth about it is that I am just all cried out over him.”
“I had no idea you went through so much growing up Donna...”
“Yeah, well I try not to wear it on my sleeves. Like a sign saying look how messed up I am, hashtag thanks dad.”
She chuckled a bit at her own poorly timed joke, surprised that she could find humor. She was even more surprised when she thought of Nick’s next question.
“And the dreams. That’s something else. You still have them now?”
Donna began to immediately answer without thought.
“Yes. I mean to this da--”
Donna stopped mid-sentence. She hadn’t realized it until just that moment but it had been at least a few weeks since she had experienced one of her recurring nightmares. She couldn’t’ believe it but apparently there was some kind of breaking away from its grip that was happening in her life.
“Donna…”
“I’m sorry Nick. I’m still here. It’s just that I didn’t notice until you asked, but it’s actually been a while since I had one of those horrible dreams.”
Donna heard a car pull up outside her apartment and could barely see its shape through the vertical blinds.
“Hold on. It looks like someone is outside. Wait. Is that you?”
“Actually yes it is. May I come in Donna?”
She opened the door and there he stood, his warm and caring smile looking down at her. She started to speak into the phone again before recognition hit her that she didn’t need it anymore since he was right there talking to her face to face.
“Yes, but what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work now?”
She stepped back as he walked into the apartment, closing the door behind himself.
“Well, when you called me earlier, I happened to be out. I was picking these up for you.”
Nick produced the bouquet of flowers for her, and her face lit up the tiniest bit as she saw the work of art that he presented to her. Something about flowers, especially lilies, always made her feel like everything was ok. She would always remember a scripture her mother told her about God caring about flowers and taking care of them and how He wanted to do so much more for us. Well she hadn’t believed God had been much on her side for a while but with that, she had to admit that He seemed to have impeccable timing.
“These are magnificent. Thank you so much. You really are the best.”
“I know. Now when you told me your story, I thought that there might be something else that you need just as much, if not more.”
“Oh I don’t know. This was pretty perfect for the time being. What else could you give me that’s better.”
“This.”
Nick took the flowers from her hands, placing them on the center table. He turned towards her and hugged her. Softly he hugged her. He didn’t say anything. He just let her be. In that moment, she felt like a little girl again. Only, instead of being afraid right there and then--she was overjoyed.
The result of his gentle embrace was something that she did not expect. In fact, she hadn’t done that in years in front of another person but she couldn’t contain herself anymore. A fit of crying had overtaken her. At first her sobs were faint--sniffles even. As she cried, he held her tight and told her not to worry.
That was when it happened. She didn’t have to be strong enough to carry her own burden anymore. There he was, offering a shoulder to cry on. And she did. She found relief as she buried her head in his chest to drown out her sobbing. She figured that she cried for what had to have been several minutes. All the while, Nick stood there strong, patiently rubbing her back and reassuring her.
“It’s going to be ok”
She silently responded in her tears.
I know.
“I’m gonna be here for you Donna.”
I know.
“You don’t ever have to be scared or sad like that again. We will make it through, together.”
Her sadness began to give way when she came to the conclusion that she actually believed what he was saying. Finally, she had calmed down enough to be able to verbally respond.
“I know Nick. I know, and ...thank you.”
“You’re welcome, babe. You are welcome.”
Looking up at him, she smiled. She felt a lot better now. There was something about him that made her feel like everything really was going to be ok. For years she had thought that every man as going to be like her father was to her mother. She was glad that she didn’t have to live in a world like that because she had Nick in her life. For her, he was the ultimate in care and comfort. A direct contrast to the reason she had been crying just minutes before.
A few minutes later, she backed away just enough to look into his eyes and softly whisper to him.
“Thank you.”
Before he could respond that she was welcome, her eyes opened up wide and Donna jumped out of his arms quickly.
“Oh no!”
She covered her face and ran into the wash room.
“What’s wrong?”
“I must look like a monster to you! My makeup is running and my hair is a mess.”
Donna ran into the bathroom and freshened up, glad that she had a man in her life that overshadowed her father enough to make her act like that. It may have taken something bad like that to happen, but she was realizing just how important Nick was to her. She combed her hair into a bun and then made her way back into the living room--where Nick was.
Chapter 11
Donna was as excited as a child when they pulled up to the lavish resort. She’d never had the chance to spoil herself like that in life. Being
from a basic middle class family, she didn’t have the money for far away vacations and such. When she got to her villa style room, she thought that the timing for the trip could not have possibly been better even though from all accounts the trip was not planned. It was a spur of the moment request by Nick.
After the day she had gone through yesterday, he had made a decision that she needed to get away so he made her pack her stuff up and take a last minute trip with him. Before she knew what had happened, they were on the plane and he had her in Florida for the first time in her life.