by A L Makin
“Look, I can see that you’re pissed off. No need to make the situation worse is there. So let’s make a deal, ok? If you let me go, you can have the girl. Just take her, she’s all yours,” I hear him plead frantically.
The man laughs, “You, my friend, are in no position to try and arrange a deal with me. I don’t do reasoning. If I want something, I take it. Do you understand?”
“Of course, yes I understand. I meant nothing by it. I just … I meant that she’s all yours if you want her. Take her. Do as you please. Just leave me here, yeah?”
He sighs loudly and crouches in front of the man. “Now that’s something we can agree on. I will take the woman … and I will leave you here as you’ve asked,” he replies calmly.
The man on the floor visibly relaxes at the promise of being left behind. He begins to smile and opens his mouth when without warning, the man dressed in black punches into his chest and grips his beating heart in his hand.
The stunned man looks down to the hand in his chest and back up to the eyes of the man who has his life in his hands.
“B … b … ut, you … you said you’d leave me alone,” he struggles.
“But that’s where you’re wrong my friend,” he begins to explain as he taps him on the head with his free hand.
The action reminds me of how an adult would reassure a small child. Holding his life quite literally in his hand makes the gesture disturbing to watch.
“I never said I’d let you live. I said I’d leave you here … and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m leaving you here … forever,” he explains coldly.
“But …” He begins to argue as the man slowly pulls his hand free from his chest.
He watches on in horror as his beating heart is brought in front of his eyes. He stays alive long enough for it to beat a couple of times, stopping on the third beat. I thought having your heart ripped out would kill you instantaneously, but he manages to look down at the now gaping hole in his chest and back up to the man crouched in front of him.
Blood oozes in a black stream out the corner of his mouth as the man holding his still heart, tosses it into his lap joining his friends head and windpipe. His head flops to the side as his eyes roll into the back of his head ... and then he’s gone.
Standing and stepping away from the dead man, he turns and once again begins to walk towards the stream. The closer he gets toward the stream, the more he turns until I’m able to see the side profile of the man dressed in black.
All this time … Everything I’ve witnessed … Everything I know, I should have known all along who it was. How could I have been so stupid and naïve? There is only one man it could have ever been … Only one man who could sink to such depths … Ryder!
My heart begins to beat erratically in my chest. The way he slaughtered those three men tells me that I may have just sealed my own fate by not running away when I had the chance to earlier.
He bends down at the stream edge and carefully washes the blood from his hands. Confident he’s got rid of it all, he stands and dries them on his dark jeans. Turning away from the stream, he looks directly at me with those piercing soulless blue eyes. He strides across the ground demanding attention, picking my jacket up off the ground as he makes his way towards me.
I remain bloodied and huddled on the cold dirty ground not moving as he reaches me and holds out my jacket at arm's length.
“Here!” he growls out.
“Thank you,” I whisper as I take the jacket slowly from his grasp. Carefully I slide my battered and bloodied arms into the sleeves and zip up the jacket making sure not to expose myself any more than I already have done.
Ryder makes no attempt to help me, as he watches me struggle to stand up off the dirty ground. When I finally manage to stand, I fold my arms across my chest. The warmth from the jacket feels good, and my skin begins to burn as the warm blood rushes to the surface of my skin.
He remains staring at me, refusing to move or talk. Although completely inappropriate after everything that has happened, I can’t help but think about how good he looks tonight. He looks just as good as that first time I saw him in the church.
However, no matter what I think of him, it’s pointless … he’s evil. He’s proved that fact tonight.
I can’t deny that I’m more grateful than he’ll ever know, that he saved me from those men. But the way he took each one of them out, proves everything Travis has said to be true. He’s mentally dangling on a thin thread which could snap at any time, so can’t be trusted.
“Thank you,” I say honestly.
“For what?” he answers annoyed.
“For just then, those men … what they did,” I pause for a moment.
“If you didn’t come when you did … I … I don’t even want to think about what could have happened to me,” I whisper.
He laughs, an evil smile on his face.
“Poor Willow …. You naively assume that you’re safe now … with me. I’ve not promised any such thing,” he threatens as he takes a step closer, closing the gap between us slightly.
I refuse to let him bully me, torment me with his threats. Tonight has shown me how fragile life is, and I can’t spend the rest of it living in fear or with regrets.
“You’re not going to hurt me,” I say defiantly.
“Oh yeah … what makes you so sure?” he asks flatly.
This time I take a step towards him closing the gap further. He didn’t expect me to move like that, and I watch as his eyes widen briefly with surprise.
“Because if you planned on hurting me, you would have done it last night in the garden when you had the chance … or better yet, you wouldn’t have attacked those men just now. Instead, you would’ve joined in with their sick game,” I state.
A flash of black quickly flickers across his eyes. It’s the same black flash that I saw last night. Without warning, he reaches out with his hand and grips my throat. His fingers manage to almost reach round to the back of my neck. He has a good hold of me, but I can feel he’s careful not to squeeze too tight.
I don’t move or flinch, instead, I keep looking up into his ice-cold eyes. I knew he was going to react one way or another.
He looks down at me not saying a word, so I take another step forward closing the gap between us completely. My action forces him to take a step back as his hand remains fixed around my throat, and I can’t help but goad him.
“Do it then!”
“What?” he replies, fingers twitching.
“I said do it! You know you want to. I won’t fight it. I won’t scream. If this is what you really want to do … what you’ve planned all along, then do it!” I push.
The black flicker crosses his eyes once again and I feel his fingers flex as he adjusts his grip around my neck. He narrows his eyes at me as the pressure slowly begins to build.
But I don’t move. I keep still, locked on to his hollow eyes. His grip tightens as his hand begins to shake. But he never squeezes hard enough to hurt. He tries to hold on … to squeeze tighter. But as I stare into his eyes I see something unravel deep down. Something is stopping him and it won’t let him take it further.
His hand shakes some more as his brow furrows. He can’t hold on any longer and he rips his hand away from my throat clenching his fingers into a tight fist. He exhales loudly, frustrated he gave in.
“I told you, you couldn’t do it,” I mock.
I don’t bother waiting for an answer or a reaction, instead, I turn away from Ryder and walk towards the motionless body of Max. With what those bastards did to him, it’s only right that I take him back with me and bury him in my brother’s garden.
I crouch down next to Max and stroke the top of his head. My eyes begin to fill with tears as my heart breaks for him. Emotion quickly overwhelms me and I begin to sob out loud. I’ve passed the point of caring. Dropping further on my knees my body begins to shake as it’s wracked with sadness.
“Willow,” I hear Ryder say quietly from behind me.
He sounds so close.
“Leave me alone,” I whimper as I stay crouched on the floor.
“But …” He begins to say.
I spin on my knees and look up at him. Tears flow freely down each cheek.
“What? Are you deaf as well as stupid! Did you not hear me the first time! I said leave me alone! Just get lost. I already have enough shit going on in my life, the last thing I need is for you to be constantly threatening me, ok!”
His eyes narrow as he gently shakes his head.
“But I … I …”
“I said no! Go away,” I sigh as I turn back to face Max.
“Please Ryder, just leave me alone,” I sob as another wave of sadness hit me.
A few moments pass by when I begin to think that for once he’s done as he’s told, and has left. I adjust myself sitting on the ground cross-legged and continue to stroke Max’s golden coat. Taking a deep breath, I try to control my emotions when I feel Ryder gently kneel on the floor behind me. He hesitates a couple of seconds when finally he reaches out and rests one of his hands on my shoulder.
His action takes me by complete surprise.
As small as the gesture is, I still never expected Ryder to have this kind of side to him. Maybe Travis doesn’t know every side to Ryder after all?
I don’t know … my head is all over the place at the moment and I can’t think straight.
But regardless, I decide not to read too much into the gesture and take it purely for what it is. Without uttering a word I tilt my head to the side and rest my tear-stained cheek against his cool strong hand. He reciprocates the touch further by gently bringing his free hand up to my other shoulder and squeezes it softly.
“Let me help you,” he states.
With my cheek still resting against his hand, I answer.
“You’ve already done more than enough.” I leave the statement open-ended not explaining whether I mean something good or bad. I’ll leave him to make up his mind on which one it’s to be.
“Please, I want to help. Let me carry him back to your home,” he asks carefully.
Who am I kidding? There’s no chance I’m going to be able to carry a dog the size of Max back home. He and I both know I have no choice but to accept his help.
“Ok, thank you. I’d appreciate that.” I agree reluctantly.
Moving together, we stand facing each other. I turn my head away and look across the horizon to the setting sun. The sky is on fire with bright reds, oranges and purples. Even with the carnage surrounding us, I can’t help but admire how beautiful it is.
Another tear escapes my eye and runs down my cheek. Ryder notices and reaches out cupping under my chin. He tilts my head back until I have no choice but to look him in the eye. His touch is so soft, sweet almost. Gently he wipes the escaped tear with the pad of his thumb and brings it up to his lips, lightly pressing it against them. That one simple act seems so intimate, far more intimate than what we should be sharing ... but I don’t care. I’m finding the more I’m in this man’s company, the more all sense of reasoning gets harder to distinguish.
We stay transfixed, neither one moving in case the moment between us is broken. When from behind I hear the sound of shuffling.
Quickly turning I see that Max is still alive. He’s battered and bruised and finds it hard to stand, but he’s alive. He looks up to me with his big brown eyes. I’m so happy he’s still alive, and bend down wrapping him in my arms as he licks the side of my face.
“Eww, thanks for that Max,” I laugh as I wipe the side of my face with the back of my hand.
Grabbing his lead from the floor, I stand and call him forward. He limps slowly towards me, his front paw up off the ground.
“It’s ok. I’ll carry him still,” Ryder states behind me.
I turn back towards him and reach out giving him Max’s lead. Our fingers briefly touch during the exchange.
‘Thank you,” I smile up at him, and mean it.
He sweeps Max up into his strong arms with total ease and we begin the journey home.
“Wait!” I call out turning to look down the hill.
“What about them? Their bodies? What do we do about them?” I ask.
“’ We’ do nothing,” he states. “I’ll take care of them.”
“But how?” I ask.
“You don’t need to worry about the details,” he replies.
Thinking about it, he’s right. I don’t need to know the details. Better yet, I don’t want to know. I nod slowly taking one last look at the three men who could have caused my undoing tonight. With no sorrow or pity for any of them, I turn back and walk the rest of the distance home in silence while Ryder carries a sleeping Max in his arms.
~
We make it back home after the sun has set with no problems. Reaching the top of the porch steps I unlock the front door and step over the threshold. Ryder stands in the doorway cradling Max.
“Do you mind bringing him in and putting him on the couch please?” I ask carefully.
He looks down at the dog in his arms and then back up to me.
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is. Please … come in,” I say as I step to the side letting him past.
“The living room is just through there,” I point past the stairs in the entrance lobby, to a room at the side.
The room glows a warm orange from the fire I lit earlier in the day. He walks in and places Max on the plush couch. Grabbing a blanket from the back of the seat, he covers him over and strokes the top of his head. Max’s tail wags from under the blanket as he stretches out making himself comfy.
Taking a step back from the couch, Ryder turns to face me.
“Right, goodnight then,” he states quickly before bounding out of the room and out the front door.
He leaves in such a rush it takes me a second to realise he’s gone, but I waste no time in following him out.
“Wait!” I shout to his back as he reaches the top step.
He stops in his tracks for a brief moment. He doesn’t turn to face me, instead, he turns his head to the side and looks down to the floor.
“What?” he growls.
Stood in the doorway, I step out onto the porch.
“Nothing … Sorry, not, nothing. I mean, I just wanted to say thank you before you left,” I answer stumbling over my own words.
“Right,” he answers bluntly. His mood has shifted again.
I keep walking towards him slowly. His fists clench for a moment at his sides as he takes a deep breath, but he doesn’t move.
I stop when I’m in reaching distance. His shoulders are gently moving to the rhythm of his breathing.
“Thank you, Ryder,” I whisper behind him.
With his head still turned to the side, he closes his eyes at the sound of my voice whispering his name.
I shuffle ever so slightly closer to him. I’m so close now that my nose is filled with his seductive scent. It smells as sweet to me as pollen to a bee, or honey to a bear.
Ryder opens his eyes and finally turns to face me.
“You’re welcome, Willow,” he breathes back.
A gentle breeze blows through the porch making my hair flutter around my face. Reaching out, he tucks a loose strand of hair back behind my ear. Looking up into his beautiful face I find myself inspecting every inch, every groove, settling on his blue eyes. Looking deep into his soul I can see he’s not used to kindness … he’s tortured, damaged goods some would say. But I can’t help feel that under all of his wrongs, there is something there. Something redeemable, however small it might be.
Lifting my arm, I place my palm against his pale face. His face is as cool as his hands but it feels nice; soft like fresh powdered snow. He closes his eyes at my brief touch, opening them again when I drop it to my side. I don’t know what made me want to touch him. I just needed to feel, to connect with him at this moment.
“Who are you …?” he whispers the question to himself.
The words my broth
er shared with me that first night I arrived in Ravenhills enters my head. I’m me, always me. I think to myself.
He takes another deep breath ending with a sigh.
“I should go.”
I don’t try to argue or make an excuse for him to stay. I understand.
“Ok,” I reply quietly.
He moves slightly, to reach out again, but changes his mind, dropping his arm back to his side. He looks disappointed … but why?
Nodding at me, his brow is furrowed as he begins to turn away, but I quickly reach out grabbing his cool hand in mine. Shocked at my sudden touch, he stops mid-turn and looks down at our connected hands and then back up to my face.
“I mean it, Ryder … thank you,” I repeat squeezing his hand in mine.
“Anytime,” he answers with a smile.
I let go of his hand and fold my arms loosely across my chest. Hand empty, my skin burns to feel his touch again. But instead, I keep my arms folded as I watch him stride away, disappearing around the corner without ever looking back.
Chapter Nine
A new day brings the day that Travis I have arranged to go out to dinner … a none date, date.
Date … that word holds so many meanings; an invitation, a promise, an expectancy, an effort.
All of the above valid reason for going on a date. Even if it’s a none date, date. But with a new day, brings a new mood and I don’t want to go.
Not because it’s with Travis. No, it’s because I’m confused.
I’m confused about my feelings towards Ryder. I’ve listened to everything Travis has said about him, and I’ve seen first hand how evil he can be. Yet, I can’t help but feel drawn to him.
I’m also confused if I should tell Travis about what’s happened with Ryder? I know I decided to keep him following us home the other night to myself. But how he saved me from those men last night ... can I honestly keep that from him too? Should I keep that from him, or should he know how Ryder saved me? That, if it wasn’t for him then I’d probably be dead.