“Yes! Harder!” I opened my mouth wide and arched my back.
My muscles tightened, and my orgasm started to send waves of nirvana through my body. It was exactly what I needed, a placebo for what I craved after a night with two gorgeous men that left me wanting more. I believed that the real thing would be better, but I had nothing to really compare it to, so I just had to let my fantasy carry me towards euphoria. The orgasm surged through my veins, keeping the nirvana going until my clit was too sensitive for me to keep circling it. My body relaxed, but I was still shaking once the orgasm passed. My hand fell away, and I lay in a pool of my own lust, not even caring enough to get out of bed after the bliss that I brought myself. There was no way to simulate what would come after the desire was satisfied. I pulled my pillow close, but it wasn’t a rock-hard body keeping me warm—much less two of them.
I’ve never even been with one guy and here I am fantasizing about being able to satisfy two.
I wasn’t foolish enough to believe that I could actually have a relationship with two guys. I knew that was just a fantasy spawned out of my lust and turned into a moment that could never become reality. A real relationship was a lot more complicated than what went on in the bedroom. It was nice to pretend, but I only had a glimpse of Kincaid and Donovan during our date. They could have quirks that drove me crazy or neurotic tendencies made me want to stab them instead of date them. They were easy on the eyes—that much was obvious. It was enough for me to imagine pleasure, but was it enough for me to actually date one of them long term? What if I was forced to choose at some point? Could I look at one of them and say they weren’t good enough—that I was choosing the other one? They were best friends. What if I became a wedge that ruined that?
I need to get out of my own head. I’m supposed to be basking in the afterglow, not worrying about things that might never happen in the first place.
All I could truly do was wait for my phone to ring. They might not even call me. I could just be psyching myself out for no reason and never hear from them again. That was my luck. The closest I came to a relationship fizzled before it began because I thought the guy was just being nice when he asked me to go to a party. A few weeks later my best friend practically slapped me in the face when I told her, and she quickly let me know that he was trying to ask me out on a date. The party was just a way to spend time with me. He thought I rejected him and stopped talking to me entirely after that.
No, I wasn’t the kind of girl that had two extremely hot firefighters ready to claim my heart—I was just the one they were forced to go on a date with because I spent three point five million dollars to buy their attention. If I let myself believe it was more than that, I would end up with a broken heart before I even fell in love. Lust would have to suffice—it was all I had. Being aware of my own flaws at least allowed me to put things in perspective. It would be easier to stomach the silence when the phone didn’t ring.
Okay, I need to shower and grab my laptop. I’m sure I have tons of work waiting on me since Ms. Stone was working late.
Donovan
Monday morning
Kincaid liked Marissa. I liked Marissa. That was certainly going to make things complicated. I didn’t like complicated. I had a fucked up perspective on the world because of the way my father treated the women he was with—especially the ones he married. I thought about backing off of Marissa entirely when I saw how much Kincaid seemed to like her, but I couldn’t ignore the churn that was going on inside me when our hands touched. I wanted to believe that could blossom into something I had never really allowed myself to believe in before, but I saw the look in her eyes when her attention was on my best friend.
If the sparks were there, why should either of us ignore them? It wasn’t cheating if she was involved with us both and we knew about it from the beginning, especially if we were okay with it. A traditional relationship was never going to work for me. I had too many trust issues. The thing was, I had never really wanted a relationship. Marissa was making me think about things I swore I would never consider. I just wouldn’t be able to fully commit if I knew she had lingering desires for someone else—but there was another way. Kincaid wasn’t open to it, but I wasn’t done trying to change his mind. I definitely wasn’t going to let him have her all to himself—not unless it was what she wanted.
“You were in Chief Vance’s office for a long time.” I walked over to Kincaid’s desk as soon as he sat down. “Is everything okay?”
“It was just a vent session.” Kincaid leaned back in his chair and I saw anger in his eyes. “I’m tired of working with Detective Lewis. I came in this morning to an email from him asking for an update. He’d have a fucking update if he was actually doing something!”
“I don’t understand why the police are taking this case so lightly. Fireball keeps escalating—he’s going to kill someone.” I sat down across from Kincaid and sighed. “Do you want me to go through the case files with you again?”
“It’s a waste of time.” Kincaid shook his head back and forth. “I spent the weekend running through them until my eyes felt like they were going to start bleeding.”
“There has to be something we can do.” I leaned back in my chair and turned my head when Chief Vance’s door opened. “Uh oh, we may have a call.”
“Donovan, can I talk to you for a moment?” Chief Vance motioned to me.
“Yes sir.” I stood up and walked towards his office.
I wonder what this is about.
“Sit down.” Chief Vance pointed at his chair and walked around his desk to sit down.
“What’s going on, Chief?” I took my seat and stared across the desk at him. “Am I in trouble? I don’t think I did anything wrong this week. Especially since it’s still Monday.”
“No, you’re not in trouble.” Chief Vance sighed. “I just got off the phone with the lieutenant over at the police station. Their resources are tapped out and we’re not getting any help with the Fireball case outside of the few officers they’ve got assigned to it.”
“Kincaid was just mentioning something about that.” I nodded and then tilted my head when a thought crossed my mind. “Maybe they should try doing a calendar. Heated Cops?”
“The calendar isn’t what keeps us going—it’s the auction. Good job with that by the way. Livingston Capital was more than generous this year.” He nodded quickly.
“Thanks.” I couldn’t suppress a smile, because the auction made me think of Marissa.
“They were so generous that the mayor has given me the go-ahead on hiring a new investigator.” Chief Vance locked eyes with me. “Are you interested?”
“Wait—seriously?” I blinked in surprise. “You’re offering me a promotion?”
“Not officially. I still have to post the job and interview people, but I believe you’re the one that will stand out among your peers. I believe it so much that I want you to go ahead and start working with Kincaid on the Fireball case.” He nodded and sighed. “If the police aren’t going to give us any help, then we’ll just have to handle things ourselves. Consider it on-the-job training.”
“Wow, thanks Chief!” A huge smile spread across my face. “I won’t let you down. We’ll get that son of a bitch.”
“I know.” His brow came together in an intense stare. “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Kincaid. The gloves are off. We’re done fucking around. He sent another letter to the press. It hasn’t been published yet, but it’s pretty clear what his intentions are. Take a look for yourself.”
“This guy is such an asshole.” I took the piece of paper that Chief Vance handed me and stared at it.
Dear New York,
Your pride is your sin. You destroy to build monuments. Monuments that fall to ruin before your greed is ever satisfied. I will burn them all down and replenish the ground with the ashes of your gluttony. They will glow like an effigy in the night. Prepare yourselves. My message is not heard. My words will be written in flames. I will testify unt
il the last silent voice screams. They’ll be screaming for mercy, and I’ll have none to give. You did this to yourselves. It’s time for your repentance and the sky begs for my symbol. It’s coming.
-Fireball
“Fuck. He’s announcing what he’s going to do before he even does it?” I threw the paper on Chief Vance’s desk in disgust. “Is it not good enough for him to claim the fire after he sets it? Now he wants to create panic?”
“I know.” Chief Vance sighed.
“How the hell are the police not taking this shit seriously!?” I grunted and felt my jaw tighten as the rage started to run through my veins. “Do they need a body before they feel like the case is worth their time?”
“It’s the fucking FBI.” Chief Vance shook his head angrily. “The police department always loses the big cases to the bureau and they’re convinced this case is going to end up like all the others.”
“So they just ignore it?” I started to stand. “Fuck this asshole. We’ll get him ourselves.”
An arson investigator was supposed to just handle the scene and report their findings. That only worked when the police department was ready to act once the evidence was gathered. It seemed that we were going to have to wear a blue hat underneath our helmet because they didn’t want to take the case seriously. I was certain the police would be all too happy to arrest Fireball if we could figure out who he was. They’d take all the glory, and truthfully, I didn’t give a shit. I just wanted the bastard behind bars before he seriously hurt someone. It was only a matter of time. Even if he tried to just send a message, fire was destructive. The apartment building he chose as his last target was a perfect example of that. We were able to get everyone out before there were any casualties, but it could have easily been a disaster if we weren’t prepared to act quickly.
“It looks like you won’t have to worry about working with Detective Lewis anymore.” I walked to Kincaid’s desk and sat down.
“Why is that?” He lifted his head with a surprised look on his face.
“Because—you’ve got a new partner.” I smiled and nodded.
“Wait. Did you just get promoted?” Kincaid’s eyes got wide.
“Chief Vance seems to think I’ll be a top candidate.” I leaned forward so that the other guys in the station couldn’t hear me. “And we’re going to be working on the Fireball case together.”
“That’s awesome!” Kincaid’s face quickly shifted to excitement. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”
“It’ll be just like the old days when you were warning me not to run into the burning buildings without my mask.” I chuckled under my breath.
“Yeah, except now you just have to make sure you don’t step on anything important.” He smiled and reached for a file. “Unfortunately, the Fireball case isn’t all we get to work on. I just got a new assignment, so are you ready for some field work?”
“Hell yeah.” I nodded and started to stand. “It’s going to be weird going out there without all my gear on.”
“They’ll still let you ride on the truck if you want normally, but this fire happened last night, so we’re just going to be digging through some ashes.” Kincaid stood up and grabbed his coat.
Working a normal schedule instead of the twenty-four hours on, forty-eight hours off that I had been doing since I started at the fire department was going to take some getting used to. As a bonus though, I didn’t have to work on the weekends anymore—not that its stopped Kincaid once the Fireball case was dropped on his desk. If anything, he seemed to work even more than he did when he was just riding on the truck. The salary bump would definitely be nice if I got the job, and it would come with a lot less risk, so I might live long enough to spend what I made. I had no problem rushing into burning buildings to help people, but I could do just as much good figuring out who set the fires to begin with. Catching Fireball was no longer a hobby that I indulged between calls at the station as I looked over case files with Kincaid. It was my job—and I was pretty damn sure Fireball wouldn’t be able to hide much longer if we were both obsessed with tracking him down.
“Are we just going to ignore what happened on Friday night and not talk about it?” I looked over at Kincaid once we were on the road, headed towards the scene we needed to investigate.
“I figured you’d bring it up eventually.” He shrugged and turned his head towards me slightly, keeping an eye on the road. “If you weren’t too drunk to remember.”
“No, I definitely remember.” I nodded quickly. “Have you called her?”
“Not yet, but I plan to give her a call after work.” He turned his attention back towards the road as we approached an intersection.
“To ask her out on a date—just the two of you?” I sighed and nodded. “I see how it is.”
“I didn’t plan to go behind your back. I was going to tell you if you didn’t bring it up first.” He cut the wheels to the right and pressed on the gas to accelerate past a couple of slow cars.
“You really don’t want to consider what I mentioned? We had fun. Why do we have to complicate things?” I sighed again.
“I’m not saying that it doesn’t intrigue me a little bit, but the last thing I want to see when I’m getting hot and heavy with a girl is your dick ready to go as soon as I’m done.” He chuckled and shook his head.
“You’re insinuating that you would go first?” I raised an eyebrow and laughed. “She might be the kind of girl that wants both of us at the same time.”
“I don’t think so.” Kincaid shook his head back and forth.
“Let’s go on one more date with her—the two of us. If you’re still adamant that you don’t think something could work after that, then I’ll back off.” I turned my head towards the window.
I really hope this isn’t a mistake, but I don’t want to miss my chance entirely.
“Fine.” Kincaid growled under his breath. “One more date—then she’s all mine.”
I’ll call this a temporary victory—but now the hourglass is running.
Marissa
“You’re a freaking legend.” Hannah looked up at me as I walked towards my desk with Ms. Stone’s coffee in my hand.
“What do you mean?” I looked at her in confusion.
“Everyone heard.” A grin spread across Hannah’s face. “You made Olivia Adams fall out of her heels!”
“She didn’t—fall.” I put Ms. Stone’s coffee on the edge of my desk and took a seat. “She might have stumbled, but it was just because she was shocked that I bid so much.”
“What about you? Did you fall—in love with Mr. February and Mr. December?” Hannah giggled and put her hand over her mouth.
“Not exactly.” I shook my head back and forth. “It was an amazing night though.”
“You have to tell me all about it.” Hannah leaned forward eagerly. “Oh wait, here comes Ms. Stone. Tell me later.”
I hopped to my feet and grabbed Ms. Stone’s coffee as she approached. I hoped that she wasn’t upset with me. She didn’t seem upset when I talked to her on the phone, but she was busy. I had seen her blow someone off because she was working on something else, then ream them for the very thing they confessed to once she finally fit them into her schedule. I didn’t want to be reamed. It was bad enough to get yelled at. That was only a sample of her wrath, and I was happy that I had never been on the receiving end of the worst of it. I waited with my legs trembling as she approached, fully prepared to accept whatever punishment I deserved—even if I wasn’t looking forward to it.
“My office—now!” Ms. Stone took her coffee and kept walking without missing a beat.
“I’m sure she means me.” I looked over at Hannah.
“Well I didn’t spend three and a half million dollars.” Hannah shrugged and walked towards her desk.
And I didn’t even follow the itinerary after we left the restaurant. Oh god, I really am going to get reamed.
“Before you destroy me, can I just apologize?” I walked into Ms
. Stone’s office with my hands up in defense.
“Sit the fuck down.” Ms. Stone dropped her purse with a thud and took a seat.
“Yes ma’am.” I cowered as I sank into the chair across from her.
“How was your date?” It was a question, but it was so direct that it didn’t sound like she was actually asking one.
“It was—fine.” I looked up and grimaced, still prepared to get the brunt of her anger.
“I saw the pictures. They were good.” She folded her hands in a pyramid and stared at me.
“Thank you?” I think that’s the right response.
“Will you sit the fuck up straight and stop cowering like I’m going to reach across my desk and slap your mascara off?” Ms. Stone leaned forward and narrowed her eyes. “I just told you that you did a good job.”
“I’m sorry.” I tried to straighten my posture. “I was just worried that you were going to be mad once you had time to think about how much money I spent.”
“My piss is worth more than three and half million dollars, Marissa.” She grunted and shook her head. “Do you even know how much money we make here in a day?”
“Not really.” I admitted my ignorance with a pained expression on my face. “I’m usually too busy to keep up with that.”
“When I was your age, I was managing an account worth two hundred and fifty million dollars. Of course, I started as an analyst instead of a secretary, and I skipped college entirely—it was a waste of time.” She nodded, and a hint of a grin formed on the edge of her lips. “Livingston Capital has a whole floor of people managing accounts much larger than the ones I started with.”
Arson & Ache: A MFM Firefighter Romance (Surrender to Them Book 8) Page 5