Her laughter followed me out the door. I couldn’t look at Carl lying there, and I couldn’t believe I was leaving him behind. But Esther was right, I kept acting without thinking. I had to do things right.
I unlocked my door and looked around my little flat. It didn’t feel like home anymore. I had never been protected. For years, I had thought I was cocooned in safety, when really my home contained a secret trap hole filled with an energy-sucking demon.
I sat down and tried to think clearly. I had nothing really. A few contacts, maybe a few favours I could call in. I mostly owed favours. I needed a stronger position in the supernatural world. I needed to be untouchable.
I rang Peter to update him. “Carl’s not looking good. And she’s been draining me for years. I don’t even know how to react to that.”
“Maybe it’s better to let her put Carl out of his misery. You know he might not recover. As for her, you need to move out. As soon as possible. She could be taking more than just energy from you. She’s demonic, so she could have another reason for doing it. Why would she hate you so much if she didn’t already know about you?”
I cleared my throat, embarrassed. “I think it’s kind of a personal girly thing, to be honest. I think she literally doesn’t like me as a person. Anything else is just gravy.”
“You should ask Gabe about her draining you. If there isn’t a rule against that, then maybe there should be. It doesn’t feel right, especially when you’re working for the Council. It’s like she’s taking from them, too.”
When we ended the call, I tried to think things through, but instead, for the first time in weeks, I thought about my grandmother. Maybe I was missing out by not listening to her story. If I was going to do everything in my power to protect myself, then I had to know the whole story, as much as it killed me to admit it. I had to reach out and ask for help. From Gabe, Eddie, my grandmother, the shifters, and even the vampires. Feeling more like myself than I had in a long time, I went for a walk and made some phone calls. I couldn’t get through to Gabe, but I left a message. I tried to set up an appointment to see Daimhín, but Yvonne told me she’d call me back. I should have gone straight to my grandmother, but I couldn’t face her yet, so I went to Eddie instead.
He might be a million times more evil than my grandmother, but I cared more about what she did, so I figured it was easier to have it out with him. I had to be on my guard whenever I confronted him. Knowing him, he would throw the power of a dozen trapped souls at me, but he might see the succubus problem on a different slant after some time to think about it.
He didn’t seem surprised to see me. He probably already knew I was on my way. He sent me in to the backroom to make the coffee, while he closed up the shop. I knew it was a big deal. He rarely locked up his business.
We finally sat down together, but it was hard for me to know where to begin. I had so much I wanted to know, so much I didn’t want to know.
“I don’t want this to turn into some kind of battle,” I said. “I just want to have a conversation.”
“Of course. We’re on the same side, Ava.”
I cocked my head. He’d used the kindly father voice again, the one that lulled me into a false sense of security without fail. “Are we? Because you keep growing into this Big Bad no matter how I look at it.”
He shrugged. “Bad only depends on your point of view. Did you find Carl?”
“He’s with Alannah. She’s been feeding on me for years, apparently. She marked Carl to ramp up my juice. So yes, this is yet again all my fault on another level.”
“You need to stop internalising all of this guilt. ’Tisn’t always about the blame, petal. Things happen, sometimes no matter what you do.” He stared off into the distance, a sudden wave of sadness dulling his blue eyes. I knew nothing of his past, but I had a feeling there were some huge stories there.
“I’ll stick a pin in the guilt,” I said. “How could it affect me, the whole energy draining… weirdness?”
“Depends. It might mean you’re a lot stronger than we thought. It could mean you’re practically immortal if you’ve survived for this long. Or none of the above.”
“I’ve almost died a couple of times,” I reminded him.
“Yet you pulled through in the end. The boys seem to think that you can’t get hurt, you recover so quickly.”
“I can get hurt.” I held the cup tight, trying to remember what it felt like before I had moved into the flat, if I had been faster, stronger, better in some way.
“I know. Haven’t I helped make you better?” He smiled. “The thing of it is, the succubus drained you constantly. She’s probably made your other, ah, problems much worse over the years.”
“Isn’t it wrong for a demon who feeds on mortals to use a… non-human to feed on? Shouldn’t there be some kind of law against it?”
“It’s unpleasant.” He nodded. “Foolish, too. As a particular species, you’re not really protected, though. Strength in numbers, and well, you’re the only one of your kind who isn’t hidden. People will shake their heads at the succubus, but they won’t make a move on her for it.”
“But Daimhín named me as one of hers. That gives me some kind of comeback, right?”
He smiled. “You’re finally getting how we work, Ava. You’ll have to take it up with Daimhín, but yes, you could use your connection with her coven to your advantage. Whether she helps you or not is another thing.”
“I’ve been cleaning up the vampire mess that’s been plaguing the city. They kinda owe me.”
“I hope they see it that way, and at the next conference with the Council, I’ll make sure I bring up this issue. It’s about time they dealt with the implications of you going public.” He leaned forward. “What about Becca? Is there truth in the rumours I’ve been hearing? The beast is gone?”
“Gone for now,” I said, hoping she would never reappear. “I’ll be ready for her when she comes back.”
“Let’s hope she doesn’t. In the meantime, you need to find a new place to live.”
“I don’t know where to start,” I said, still reluctant to commit to giving up my home. “How could I not know, Eddie? How could I not feel it, see it, know something was wrong?”
He stared at me for a couple of seconds, and I realised he was wondering the same thing. “Maybe it’s because you aren’t used to the things you can do. You’ve had nobody to teach you. You’re only working with your instincts. You can’t be expected to know everything.”
“It seems like a pretty big thing to miss. I don’t… I don’t have a clue what I’m doing half the time. If there are others like me, surely they could help me figure it out.”
“I’m sure there are others,” he said. “But you’re the only one out in the open here. I don’t know how much help they would be. Two mongrels from the same litter might look and act like two different breeds.”
“Wow. Thanks for that analogy, Eddie.”
He waved his hands. “My point is that they all have different skills. It’s never that simple.”
“Never is. But I’m ready to learn as much as I can, and I need you to tell me everything you know about me. If someone had just been honest with me from the beginning, most of my problems wouldn’t exist. I can’t stay blind forever.”
The cold presence blew on my neck, and I could have sworn Eddie stared right at it.
“I don’t know how helpful I’ll be,” he said, half to himself.
The breeze picked up, swinging my ponytail. I watched Eddie’s face pale.
“Any help would be great,” I said quietly, as if nothing untoward was happening.
“I… Maeve! Is leor sin! Stop!” He held up his hands, but they shook violently. The presence stopped instantly.
“Who’s Maeve?”
He stuttered for a couple of seconds. “What? I… no, nothing. What were we…? Help. Yes. Others would be better at explaining, but I’ll try. It’s time for me to try.”
I gazed at him, wondering what ki
nd of secrets he hid. Maeve. Was that the name of the cold presence? Like many things, I would just have to deal with it later.
“You want to know about yourself? What I know?”
I was ignorant about so many things, and with someone finally willing to speak, I felt ill, as though every emotion pushed upward at once, struggling to break free. I gave a little whimpering gasp, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“I wasn’t there for your birth. Or your childhood. But I knew you existed. I see and hear plenty, and I knew one of you would one day come to me. I just had to be patient. When Nancy came, I knew there was something about her. Something in her eyes. She had seen things no human should. I could tell. I made her talk to me, and she told me everything. Every detail. The kind of things she would never have told another living being.”
I watched him age ten years in front of me and again I feared the answers. What could she have told him to make him look so miserable?
“When Peter brought you here that day, I tried not to get my hopes up. You were a mess, really.” He laughed. “Mistakes a child would make. Accidental binding is practically unheard of. If I hadn’t been around as long, I could never have helped you. I knew the outcome. Maybe I got a few details wrong, but I knew Daimhín would need you alive in the end.”
I opened my mouth with a question.
“Don’t ask. You need to understand. There’s a presence about you. Whether it’s your power, or the protection of another, it warns everyone off. Most beings won’t even realise it’s there, but I can feel it plainly and see it for what it is. It’s intimidating, and that’s what got to Becca, even in her mutated state. That’s what I need on my side, Ava. That’s partly why I could never harm you. I’m of the old stock. I find it hard to resist the temptation to put you in your place. You’re so young, yet I find myself wanting to lead you. It’s a strange sensation, having children you want to nurture, but at the same time feel the need to control.”
The cold presence went absolutely crazy, and my hair whipped all over the place.
“Now, now,” he muttered, and I wasn’t entirely sure who he addressed. “The thing with you is that you could be the face of something. You’ll never be the smartest or the prettiest, the strongest or the most charismatic, but you stand for something. There are plenty of beings who despise the Council. They would follow someone like you into a war, if you let them.”
“Eddie, I’m sorry, but I’ve no idea what we’re talking about. What’s going on?”
He waved his hand. “Tangents. Nothing’s happening yet. You want to know why I didn’t tell you about yourself beforehand, yes?”
I nodded slowly, feeling more lost than when we had begun. Everything he threw at me was muddled and confusing. My head began to thud with a heavy ache.
“I didn’t think you were ready. And time isn’t to me what it is to the impatient. It takes years for a plan of mine to come to fruition. Decades to even formulate a plan. It didn’t seem like something that should happen yet. And your ignorance protects you somewhat. Or at least it did at the trial. If they had read you and saw that you knew exactly what you are… well, it wouldn’t have looked good, and the outcome might have been a lot different.”
“If I had known, I would have done things differently,” I insisted.
“Would you? I don’t think so. It was all worded very dramatically at the trial, I grant you that. But really, your existence is simple. It’s a very good thing to some of us.”
“It’s just another way to make me the odd one out,” I said. “It’s being lied to that I can’t stand. I risked all of our lives over a lie.”
“Ava, can’t you see? You believing that lie kept you safer. If Maximus had truly known what he had on his hands… I dread to think what might have occurred. Some things are pre-ordained, and that particular game was played in the only way it could have been. Your grandmother protected you from yourself, whether it was her idea or not.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not here to tell you Nancy’s story. That’s to come from her lips only. That woman at the trial, Helena, has she been found?”
“Nope. Vanished off the face of the planet. Why?” I had tried to find her after the trial, but just like before, she had disappeared.
“I think she would have been a helpful ally. Let’s hope she hasn’t changed sides. Her knowledge is powerful.”
“What are you?” I blurted.
He paused as a smile grew on his lips. “I’m just a man. I was born, matured, did my duty, and was given a great responsibility. Then, things changed, and here I am.”
“Are you ever going to talk in a straight line?” I slammed my hands on the table just to feel in control of something.
“I only do that when I feel like the person is listening,” he said in his nice voice, the lilting one. “I tell the truth. I was born an ordinary human, and one day, I’ll die.”
“I thought you were immortal,” I said, narrowing my eyes.
“Everything comes to an end,” he replied calmly. “Even this conversation.”
“Wait!” I said. “Tell me things. About angels and demons. About seraphim and Nephilim. About me.”
“Again, there are better people to ask. But I can tell you that the angels are soldiers, but not on Earth. Never on Earth. A good thing or Earth would have been destroyed long ago. Even the fallen are soldiers, and they must live in the darkness—Hell—because the light shames them, or so the tales say. The Nephilim were the only ones who could bridge both sides, and take the war elsewhere. They were useful and precious because they could stand in the dark and in the light without suffering.”
“What about the… impure?”
“Your kind is unusual in that they can pick light or dark to live in. They fit in everywhere and nowhere. The impure nephal can visit all without harm, but they can be influenced from birth to be either dark or light. It’s a battle to take the impure, which is why it’s so strange that you managed to go unnoticed for so long. You could easily have been dragged to Hell as a child. I still haven’t figured out that bit,” he admitted. “In the past, the surviving impure have been unpredictable, more trouble than they’re worth, so apprehension is to be expected.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means quite a few beings believe you are a ticking time bomb, one that needs to be destroyed before it explodes and takes out most of the world.”
“What do you believe?”
He leaned back in his chair. “I think everything is happening the way it’s supposed to. I’ve been around a while, petal. It takes a lot more than one wee girl to end the world.”
“How long have you been around exactly?” I asked, ready to take advantage of his talkative mood.
“A while.”
“Decades? Centuries? Please tell me it wasn’t B.C. Oh, my God, how old are you?”
His laughter filled the room. “I can’t remember exactly. I stopped keeping track a long time ago. I told you. I’m from another time.”
“But you said you’re human.”
He shook his head. “I said I was born human. I was given a gift for being a good boy.”
I glared at him. “You can’t tell me you were born millennia ago and not give me details. What are you?”
He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, as though weighing up the pros and cons of sharing his story. Although there were more important things going on, I had been desperate to know what he could do since the day I met him, partly to understand what I was dealing with.
“I grew up in a time when Ireland was a pagan country. We worshipped the gods, and they favoured us. I wasn’t a soldier. I was a sensitive little soul for the age we were in. My father was ashamed. His oldest son was a coward. He wanted to send me away, so my mother, being the sort of woman who could turn any shame into pride, decided it was my path to devote myself to the gods. I trained to be a druid. Of course, we made sacrifices to our gods, and to me then, it was worse than fighting in wars. M
y older sister made me think of the people as things. Less than animals. As skin and blood and bones. It was the only way to get through the violence.”
The corner of his mouth lifted, and he remained silent for a couple of minutes, apparently lost in his memories. “I became a great Druid, well-respected. Then a menace came. Vampires. They preyed on my family’s village, took my family and friends from me. The gods granted me vengeance, and I drove the vampires away. After that, life changed. People no longer devoted themselves to the whims of the gods. The gods decided to sleep until another time, devotion and faith being their lifelines. Ogham gave me a special gift. I became the Keeper of Knowledge, the Guardian of the Gods. I held their power, their memories, their immortality. I held it all for the day they would one day return.”
He shook his head. “As time went by, the respect was lost. Christianity invaded, sent our ways into the annals of history. The vampires returned, and we were all forced to coexist in one way or another in the end.”
“When will the gods return?” I whispered, fascinated.
“When?” It was as though he woke up from a dream. His face creased into a frown, and his voice went cold. “Never. No, not ever.”
Chapter Eleven
I ran to my grandmother’s home. Walking somehow seemed inappropriate. I had to know what she knew, the things that made her so sure I was bad, the reasons she lied to me. If, historically, the impure were capable of destruction and pain, then I needed to know why and how—never mind how to not go down that road myself.
When she opened the door, she stood stock still with her mouth hanging open. She quickly gathered herself together and bade me to come inside. The first step into her home sent thrills of melancholy through me, a sensation I could barely stand.
“I need to hear it,” I said when we sat down together in the living room that was still heavily decorated with religious ornaments. I avoided the lone picture taking pride of place above the mantel place. The crown of thorns image had always disturbed me.
“Of course,” she said, nodding. “I’m… glad you came. I thought you might not…”
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