by Sophie Davis
Anya recovered her composure, a beautiful mask of ambivalence quickly replacing her heartbroken expression. “It’s nice to meet you, Talia,” she said politely. I took her offered hand and shook it gently, afraid if I held on too long, my rising temper would cause me to crush her delicate fingers. Erik sent me calming thoughts that dampened my mounting agitation, but didn’t erase it altogether.
“Thank you for helping us,” I said evenly.
“Right. So, I guess it was your medical records Erik sent me?” Anya asked, getting down to business. She sat back in her chair and gestured to the empty ones on the other side of the table.
“Yes. I was captured on a hunting mission and they injected me with something. Dr. Thistler, the Head of Medical Research, has been giving me something to counteract the effects, but she can’t seem to find an actual cure. I was wondering what exactly she is giving me,” I said, all the words leaving me with one breath.
Anya smoothed the skirt of her lacey baby doll dress. Self-consciously, I looked down at my own too big jeans and tank top, wishing I’d bothered to wear a nicer outfit. I felt like an ugly duckling sitting across from a swan.
“You said there were some irregularities?” Erik asked, resting his hand on my thigh. His fingers traced small circles above my knee, the rhythmic pattern helping to calm my nerves and quiet my temper.
“Yeah. There were a couple things that didn’t make sense,” Anya said.
Finally, I was going to get some unbiased answers to one of my many questions.
Anya cleared her throat. “The drug she is giving you is an equalizing agent, as you guys thought. What’s weird is that the drug is normally used on prisoners to suppress their Talents and prevent them from using their abilities to escape or harm the guards.”
“Let me get this straight. Talia’s daily injection is supposed to suppress her natural ability to manipulate minds? That doesn’t make sense,” Erik said doubtfully.
“No, it doesn’t. The drug is still experimental and the effects vary from person to person. It has even proven lethal in several cases. To my knowledge, Talia is the only active Operative that it’s ever been given to,” Anya explained, furrowing her perfectly plucked eyebrows in confusion.
“But my Talents haven’t been hindered or suppressed or whatever since getting the drug,” I argued. “I use my manipulation all the time.”
“Well, you have been getting tired pretty easily,” Erik said slowly, turning to meet my gaze. He shrugged sheepishly as if to say he was sorry that he’d exposed my weakness.
“True,” I admitted. It was no secret that exhaustion was a constant state of being for me. “But my actual abilities have been strong, almost stronger than they were before.”
“Your senses are definitely stronger than before,” Erik agreed. “Your eyesight, your hearing, even your sense of smell is more pronounced than before.”
“You’ve noticed that, too?” I asked, sagging with relief. I’d been wondering if maybe I was going crazy - well, crazier - when I noticed that my senses seemed enhanced.
“Like I said, the suppressant has different effects on everyone, but I’ve never heard of it amplifying someone’s powers,” Anya said.
I could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she pondered the conundrum.
“I still don’t get it,” Erik interjected. “Why would the Director want to suppress Talia’s Talents? He uses her to interrogate people, and now he’s using her to administer the aptitude tests. Wouldn’t he want her mind manipulation at its strongest?”
“In theory,” Anya said, tapping a manicured nail against her chin.
I looked down at my own bitten and torn nails resting on the tabletop and folded my hands in my lap to hide the unruly sight.
“Would a suppressant like that neutralize a poison in my system?” I asked doubtfully.
“It might,” Anya said skeptically. “It depends on what the poison was. And since we don’t actually know, I can’t be sure.” She shook her head apologetically.
“Do my medical records give the chemical formula for the poison?” I asked hopefully, looking from Erik to Anya.
“No, they don’t,” Erik answered. “I’m sorry, Tals.”
“Oh,” I replied, the last vestiges of hope deserting me.
“I could take a sample of your blood and try to isolate the chemical. I might be able to determine something more from that,” Anya offered tentatively.
“Could you?” I asked eagerly, optimism surging again.
“Hold on, Tal,” Erik said cautiously. He turned to face me, taking my hands in his and looking directly in my eyes. “You know I want to find out what’s wrong with you almost as much as you do, but if there’s something more going on than Mac is telling you, having Anya analyze your blood could be very dangerous. If she gets caught, we’re all going to be in a lot of trouble.”
His concern for Anya’s safety reignited my earlier rage and I yanked my hands free from his grasp.
“Tal,” Erik sent warningly. He reached for my hand again and I swatted his attempt aside.
“I’ll be careful. I don’t mind taking the risk if you two don’t,” Anya said.
We both turned to look at her. A fire shone behind her emerald eyes at the prospect of doing something dangerous. In that moment, I knew what the attraction between the two of them had been. The knowledge forced me to sit on my hands to keep from lashing out at either of them. Again, a small part of me felt ashamed of my reaction. The jealous, ugly side of my personality dominated just then, though. And I felt helpless to fight it.
“Tal, you need to keep it together,” Erik sent. This time, he didn’t sound angry, just concerned and a little scared. He pushed my curls aside to place a hand on the back of my neck. His thumb stroked my thudding pulse, willing it to return to normal.
“Calm, Tal, calm,” he soothed, and in no time, I was.
I should have been angry that he used my own abilities to control me, but the effect of his words and fingers felt too good. My anger dimmed before extinguishing completely.
I turned to face Anya. “Thank you,” I said giving her a genuine smile. I might be jealous of her perfect appearance and the fact that she knew my boyfriend better than I did, but her willingness to help a stranger touched me. Erik was right. Testing my blood was dangerous. This meeting alone could land us on Mac’s shit list. I didn’t even want to imagine what he would do if he found out we were going one step further.
“I don’t have a test tube or anything with me, but if you soak a napkin with some of your blood, that will work just fine,” Anya told me.
“Do you have a knife?” I asked Erik.
He nodded, removing his hand from my neck to withdraw a Swiss Army knife from his pocket.
“Look away,” he ordered as he poised the knife over my palm.
I squeezed my eyes shut and prepared for the pain, but it never came. I did feel Erik draw the blade against my skin and then quickly press a napkin to the wound. I opened my eyes and glanced at Erik’s wincing face.
“Thanks,” I whispered.
Erik smiled and pressed the napkin tighter against my torn flesh. He folded my fingers over and raised the back of my hands to his lips. Anya averted her eyes, but not before I saw the pained expression she was trying to hide. I almost felt sorry for her, but then I remembered that she’d been naked with Erik and I hadn’t.
Anya took the napkin from Erik, folded it carefully, and placed it in her purse as though it were a precious gift.
“I should have the results in a couple of days. I’ll call when I do,” she said.
“Yeah, thanks, Anya. I really appreciate you doing this for us,” Erik said.
The dark haired girl nodded, flashing us her perfect white teeth. Erik stood and I followed suit. Anya rose to her feet and came around the table to hug Erik goodbye. I clenched my teeth and tried to crush my returning bitterness as she held on to him tighter than I was comfortable with.
“I’ll see yo
u in a couple of days,” Anya said turning to me.
“Thank you,” I said, reaching for Erik’s hand in the process. The polite thing would have been to shake her hand, but I wasn’t feeling terribly polite. During our short conversation with Anya, I’d cycled through a rainbow of emotions – red anger, green jealousy, yellow hope, and thanks to Erik, blue calm. Now all the feelings seemed to be swirling together, making a muddy brown mess of my thoughts.
As we walked away, I wondered what color humiliation was because once I’d put some distance between me and Anya, I became mortified by how I’d acted. I felt Anya’s eyes on my back as Erik and I made our way back through the crowded food court. The urge to apologize to her made me glance back. Even across the room, I could see tears glistening in Anya’s eyes. I offered her a small smile, doubting that she could see me as well as I could see her.
Erik decided we should walk for a while instead of boarding another bus back to the hotel. He insisted that it was a nice night, but I knew from his mind that he was hoping the walk would restore my emotional equilibrium. My stomach rumbled, reminding me we hadn’t actually eaten dinner. I barely noticed the hunger pains over my reeling head. Anya had provided me with an answer, but it only provoked more questions.
Why was medical giving me a drug to suppress my abilities? Mac had gone to such great lengths to develop them and he encouraged, even demanded, I use my Talents on several occasions since my return.
“Want to talk about it?” Erik asked, interrupting my thoughts.
I shrugged. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, she did tell me what drug Dr. Thistler is giving me, but that still doesn’t tell me what’s actually wrong with me.”
“I know it’s frustrating,” Erik said, rubbing my uninjured palm with his thumb. “But maybe we’ll know more after she analyzes your blood.”
“No, Erik, you don’t know!” I exploded, yanking my hand from his. “You have no idea what it’s like!” I wiped angrily at the tears that splashed my cheeks. I didn’t want to cry - I wanted to be strong - but I felt like a branch that had been bent too far and finally snapped.
I stomped forward, bumping into several pedestrians before people started moving aside to let me pass. I could feel Erik behind me, rushing to keep up. He grabbed my shoulder and spun me to face him. His face was blank, completely expressionless.
“I’m sorry, Tal. You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like,” he said with a calmness that irritated me further. I tried to shrug out of his grip, but he held firm. I averted my gaze, staring at the people passing by without truly seeing them. I bit down on the inside of my cheek, letting the physical pain outweigh the emotional.
“I want to help you, Talia. We are going to find out what is wrong with you.” He sounded so sure of himself, like failure wasn’t an option.
“I hope so,” I whispered, turning my gaze up to meet his. He sighed and released his grip. He ran the backs of his fingers down my cheek, smearing what remained of my tears.
“What do you think?” I wanted to know. “Why do you think that Dr. Thistler is giving me a suppressant?”
Erik hesitated before answering. “I don’t know, Tals. Maybe Crane injected you with some kind of amplification drug, like the Agency is using for the aptitude testing,” Erik suggested finally. The hesitancy in his tone contradicted his words. He laced his fingers with mine and we started walking again.
“Maybe ...,” I let my voice trail off. We both knew it made no sense for Crane to give me something that would make me stronger.
Neither of us spoke as we passed restaurants and clothing stores. The other pedestrians were giving us a wide berth now. My impromptu breakdown had drawn attention to us. And people whispered to one another in hushed tones “Agency” as we passed. I didn’t have room in my brain to care.
“Do you really think it’s dangerous for Anya to run my blood?” I asked after we’d walked several blocks. I knew that it was. But I felt the need to fill the silence.
“Well, Tals, yeah, it could be pretty dangerous,” Erik admitted. “If the Director finds out and he really is hiding something......Well, I don’t even know what will happen to her and us.”
“I don’t want her to get in trouble on my account,” I said honestly.
“Me either, but she’ll be careful. Just hang in there a couple more days.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. “Not just for asking her to help, but for everything. I know that you don’t really need this complication in your life –”
“Stop,” Erik cut me off. “Don’t thank me. Just let me be here for you.”
I stopped in the middle of the crowded sidewalk and pulled him to me. He leaned down until our lips met. The urgency of his mouth against mine contrasted with the gentle tone he’d just used to try and reassure me. Pedestrians jostled us as they passed by. Some hooted and hollered. Their jeers prompted me to wrap my arms tightly around his neck and kiss him deeper.
“I love you,” he sent.
“Say it again.” As long as I lived, I never would get tired of hearing Erik say those words.
Erik pulled back. “I love you, Natalia Lyons,” he repeated, aloud this time. The way he emphasized each word made my heart flutter and I thought I might float right off the pavement.
“I love you, too.”
Chapter Eleven
Every bus that passed us was full to capacity with people desperate to be inside their homes before curfew. Most of the cafes had already stopped serving food and had their signs switched from “Open” to “Closed”. Thanks to my persuasive nature, the counterworker at the Presidential Pie agreed to make us a pizza and sodas to go.
The scent of spicy sausage and green peppers swirled around Erik as he carried the pizza through the sparsely populated sidewalks. My stomach grumbled and my mouth watered, providing a great distraction from dwelling on the meeting with Anya.
Desmond stood guard duty again, waving one large coffee-colored hand in greeting when we approached. He glanced at the communicator strapped to his belt. “Out past curfew again, eh?” he chuckled.
“Food at this place sucks,” Erik replied, holding up the pizza box.
Desmond looked dubious. I didn’t blame him. As far as lies goes, it wasn’t one of Erik’s best. The kitchen at the Hamilton served better food than we were accustomed to.
“Erik doesn’t have a very refined palate,” I explained.
“I’m a simple guy.” Erik shrugged. It was my turn to look dubious. Of all the adjectives I would use to describe Erik, simple was not among them.
Desmond laughed. “You guys have a good night.” He moved aside to let us pass.
Once back in my room, we spread our dinner out on my bed and ate in silence. I kept sneaking glances at my communicator, which was blinking urgently to signal that I had a message. I didn’t have to check to know the message was from Mac.
When I’d all but licked the cheese from the pizza box, Erik stood to leave. He’d promised Mac he wouldn’t spend the night in my room and breaking that vow could land him a one-way ticket back to Elite Headquarters, but I didn’t want to be alone. The day had been exhausting and meeting Anya had proven to be a disappointment. Not only was she gorgeous, but she also succeeded in confusing me further. I craved Erik’s reassuring presence and selfishly didn’t care about the consequences.
“Please stay,” I said, careful not to let any manipulation creep into my words.
Erik pursed his lips and his eyes flickered with indecision. He wanted to stay with me just as badly I was wanted him to. He also preferred to stay in the Director’s good graces, or at least as close to it as he ever got.
“Tal, I can’t,” he started to say, but I cut him off.
“Just until I fall asleep,” I urged him. “Please,” I added softly when it looked as though he wasn’t going to relent.
“Just until you fall asleep,” he agreed finally.
I retreated to my bathroom to change in to my pajamas and perform my other nig
httime rituals. It wasn’t even that late, but I found it hard to keep my eyes from drooping. When I finally came out of the bathroom Erik was already settled under the golden sheets, and he was shirtless.
Suddenly feeling much more awake, I bounded across the small room and jumped into bed next to him. I curled up against his bare torso, rested my head on the hard planes of his chest, and listened to his steady heartbeat. He wound my curls around the long fingers of one hand while absently stroking my side, underneath my t-shirt, with the other.
His mind was carefully guarded so I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. His reluctance to let me in irritated me. My own thoughts were not so secure and I was projecting my unpleasantness towards him.
“You need to sleep,” he mumbled into my hair. “You’ve had a long day.”
“So have you,” I shot back, my temper flaring at what I perceived to be a patronizing tone in his voice.
“Tals,” Erik said calmly. “Just close your eyes. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere for a while.” His voice sounded weary and his patience with my mood swings was wearing thin.
I tried to relax, letting the rhythmic feel of his hands on my body lull me to sleep. But my busy mind wouldn’t succumb to slumber. After everything that had happened to me in the past year, I knew worrying about one of Erik’s ex-girlfriends was ridiculous. I knew about Erik’s reputation from the moment we met and it seemed unfair to be upset about Anya when I’d just spent the better part of the past three weeks in the constant company of my own ex. But when I thought about Anya’s perfect hair and large, innocent green eyes, I couldn’t help but be jealous. When I thought about Erik lying with her, touching her the same way he was touching me now, I wanted to throttle her.