As the pair passed by our window, headed to his car Benji let out a long whistle. “Damn.”
I tore my gaze away from them to acknowledge him. “What?”
“I’m surprised I didn’t notice before now, but Gabi got a little ass on her, huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“Just sayin’, she got a nice lil cushion back there.”
The hairs bristled on the back of my neck and my fist clinched. “Benj…”
“What?” He chuckled, his eyes twinkling in amusement. “Do you have a problem with me looking at her ass? I mean, she’s just your friend, right? You ain’t got no feelings for her…right?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, running my tongue along my inner jaw. “You know you have to sleep tonight…right? Don’t wake up with a black eye.”
He leaned back in his seat, laughing. “Whatever, Jay. You so damn transparent it ain’t even funny.” He paused, tapping his index finger against his chin. “Actually, you know what? It is.”
I shook my head while rising to my feet as his laughter continued. “Later, Benji.”
When I made it back to my dorm my phone was over flowing with missed calls, voicemails, and text messages. All from Brooke. She went on and on about how sorry she was about the argument, and not to give up on ‘us’ yet. I ignored them all and lay back in my bed to call my parents.
My dad picked up on the third ring. Even through the phone his authoritative tone was not to be trifled with.
“Hey, Pops, what’s up?”
“Nothing too much, just preparing dinner for your mother and I.”
Imagining my dad in front of a stove was pretty hilarious. The one time he’d cooked for us when I was a kid, he’d almost burned down the house.
The line was silent when my laughter tapered off.
“Is there something you find humorous, boy?”
Apparently he did not. “N-no, sir.” Clearing my throat, I decided it was time for a subject change. “How’s mom?” She must not have been feeling well if she’d let my dad cook.
“She’s fine. In fact, why don’t you talk to her while I finish up?” There was a lot of shuffling, and then my mom’s voice came on the line.
“Hey, my sweet boy.”
My heart seized at the frailness of her voice. “Hey, Mommy. How you feeling?”
“Like a million bucks.” Her laugh was a bit raspy. “I looked for you last Sunday, made your favorite.”
I could almost taste the cheese grits and salmon croquettes. “I’m sorry. Things got a little crazy here, but I’ll definitely be there tomorrow.” I wasn’t about to upset her again by telling her Brooke was the reason for my absence.
“Why don’t you come by tonight? Your father is making a beef roast with veggies.” She laughed a bit more, the sound breaking my heart. “Don’t worry, he’s gotten a lot better. I’ve been teaching him.”
I was still full from the half a pizza I’d scarfed down, but if my mom wanted me there I wouldn’t deny her. “Yeah, I’ll come by.”
An hour later I made my way into my parents’ kitchen. The food actually smelled pretty damn good, and the stove was still standing when I greeted my dad.
He shook my hand and pulled me into a hug. When I tried to move away he gripped me tighter, and spoke near my ear. “You know your mom looks forward to seeing you on Sundays. Stop upsetting your mother.”
“Yes, sir.” When he let me go my lungs burned as they re-inflated.
“Why didn’t Benjamin come?”
“Couldn’t find him.” I sat down at the table and plucked a grape from the centerpiece.
“How’s he been?”
“Same. I haven’t pushed him, but he’s missing more classes.”
Pops nodded but didn’t say anything as he fixed me a plate.
“Where’s mom?”
“Upstairs lying down. Why don’t you go say hello?”
Seeing my mother’s small frame in her bed caused my chest to tighten. She’d lost even more weight in the two weeks since I’d visited.
“Hey, Ma.”
She paused her TV show and turned to face me with a big smile. “There’s my baby.” She opened her arms for a hug, her eyes shining bright.
Embracing her tore at my resolve. I’d done well not to cry in front of her thus far, but she was so tiny I feared I’d crush her. I composed myself as best I could before revealing my face then kneeled down beside her, and took her hand in mine. “Pops is a liar. He said you were fine.”
“Watch your mouth, boy.”
My dad’s baritone voice behind me made my heart jump. The look on his face was stern but I didn’t care. He’d lied and said she was fine when it was clear she wasn’t. “Why’d you–”
“I don’t like to give bad news over the phone.” He came over to the bed and handed my mom a small cup of water and two pills.
“Bad news?” I looked between the two. It was my mom giving a stern look this time, directed at my father.
She patted the spot next to her on the bed. “Have a seat, sweetheart.”
I eased down beside her and my father pulled up a chair next to me.
“We’d wanted to have both of you boys here,” my father started. “But Benji will take it better coming from you anyway. You two always were close.”
My mouth went dry, and heat burrowed into my chest. “Take what?”
Mom patted my knee, a sheen of tears in her eyes. “At my last doctor’s appointment, she and I spoke at length. The cancer’s been spreading for a while now. A couple months ago it reached my brain.”
“A couple months ago?” Bile crawled up my throat. She couldn’t be saying what I thought she was. One look at my father confirmed it. A trail of tears streaked his dark face. This was only the second time I’d seen him cry, the first being when she’d been diagnosed.
My mom’s voice drew my attention back to her. “She gave me an estimate of six months, a year of I’m lucky.”
A tear splashed on my arm, followed by another, and then several more as I shook my head slowly. “There has to be something they can do.”
“They’ve gone through every scenario, baby. There’s nothing left to do.”
I leapt from the bed and ran for the bathroom. I made it as far as the sink before my stomach emptied itself. Hot tears clouded my vision as I turned on the faucet to rinse my sick down the drain.
My dad’s large hand grasped my shoulder. Turning me around, he pulled me against his barrel chest.
I pushed away, not wanting to be consoled, needing to hit something. Anything to soothe the pain in my soul.
He only hugged me tighter, squeezing me until there was no fight left.
I gripped the back of his shirt in my fists, tears soaking the front. It wasn’t fair.
Later on I sat next to my mom in bed with my head on her shoulder. She was watching a movie with her favorite actor who she swore up and down looked just like Pops. I didn’t see it.
I took her hand and laced my fingers through hers. I’d never been a mama’s boy, but my parents and I were close. They’d always made sure I could come to them about anything, and supported any decision I made, within reason.
My mom, she was my rock. Hell, she was everybody’s rock. I’d never met a woman to compare to her strength, or the class in which she carried herself. And as sweet as she was, somehow she still demanded respect. People say that men marry women like their mothers, for me that’d be a blessing.
I gave her hand a soft squeeze to get her attention. “I’m gonna talk to the dean, see if I can get some time off.”
“No you’re not.”
I sat up straight to look at her face. “But”
“You’re going to focus on your studies so that you can graduate. Either that or make me the proud mother of an Olympic medalist, whichever you decide.”
“But you need me here, Ma.”
“I have your father here to look after me. You just don’t miss anymore Sundays.”
There w
as no use arguing. When she said something we did it, my father included.
A few moments later she spoke again. “How’s that daughter of mine?”
I smiled at the thought of Gabi until I remembered him. “She’s probably with her boyfriend.”
A deep frown creased her forehead. “Boyfriend?”
“Yeah, some funny looking dude.”
Her mouth crooked into a smirk. “Someone sounds jealous.”
“I wish everyone would stop saying that.” I pulled my legs up and rested my arms on my knees. “I’m not jealous, I just don’t like the guy.”
“Why not?”
“I need a reason?”
“Well, without one it seems an awful lot like jealousy to me.”
Sighing, I ran a palm down my face. “I don’t have feelings for Gabi, and even if I did…she’s my best friend. That’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”
My mom folded her hands in her lap and tilted her head. “Meaning?”
“Not all relationships are built to last.” Mine with Brooke was proof of that. “Say we were to get together, and things don’t work out. I could end up losing her forever.”
She cupped my face and turned my head toward her. “Trust me when I say this, son. Love is worth the risk. You do love her, right?”
“Of course, she’s my best friend.”
“You know that’s not what I mean,” she said, nudging my chin. “Do you love her?”
“I…” I hung my head and stared at the comforter. I wasn’t in love with Gabi. Yeah I’d had a crush on her when we were younger, but we were just kids. I’d moved past that, as least I was pretty sure I had. “I don’t know.”
“Well, how about you do yourself a favor and figure it out.” She coaxed my head back onto her shoulder and stroked my face. “It would also be nice to see you two together while I’m still here.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I did everything I could to keep them there. “Don’t say that, ma. You’re not going anywhere, you can’t.” Her soft humming broke the floodgates, knowing it was one of the last times I’d hear it. My words came out broken as I choked on a sob. “Please don’t go.”
Eleven
Gabi
“Sooo, how are things with the new beau?” Cam asked, bouncing in her seat across from me.
I rolled my eyes at her antics. We were having dinner at Angelo’s yet again. Their food was amazing, but we needed a new spot to hang. Especially if Benji was going to call his cousin every time he saw me with Keem. What’d he even care? He had Brooke to keep him company.
“Things are good. We’ve hung out almost every day since last week. He’s fun to be around.”
“I bet he is, all sexy and dipped in caramel. And that smile, gawd!” She fanned herself with a menu.
Peeking at her over my water, I raised a brow. “Down girl. Don’t make me fight you.”
“All I’m saying is, please tell me he has a twin brother, preferably a rich one.”
Here we go again. It seemed like that was all she ever mentioned whenever we talked about guys or relationships. Money. She wouldn’t even cast a second glance at a guy who she felt was below her standards. That meant he had to be from a wealthy, or at least well off, family. And he had to be majoring in something that would continue to bring in more money. We’d grown close over the weeks but it was times like this when I realized just how different we were. “Everything’s not about money, Cam. Wouldn’t you rather have a man who loves and cherishes you?”
Our server, Marc, came over and we placed our orders, and then continued with our conversation. “Of course I want love, but I’d prefer the man who loves me also have a bank account with at least six figures. Better yet, seven.”
I shook my head, disappointed in her. I used to think her actions were a reflection of her mother’s, but I was coming to the realization that they were one in the same. “You know, you’re starting to sound an awful lot like–”
“Don’t you dare say it.” An almost demonic scowl took over her face. “I am not her.”
Cam wasn’t a big fan of her mother. Every time she called they fought. Her mom told her a degree was a waste of time and money. She had the type of mindset that women didn’t need to work, so long as they were beautiful and possessed the right assets. Cam was definitely that. She swore she was nothing like her mother and would snap if you accused her of such, but I couldn’t deny the facts.
Yes, Cam was in college and had a pretty good major, but she partied way more than she studied. She also never left the dorm without full make up because she never knew when she’d meet ‘Mr. Rich’. Not to mention her snobbery when it came to men. There was a guy we always saw around campus. Neil was his name. He was gorgeous, kind and had a thing for Cam, but she wasn’t interested because of his major in journalism. Which according to her didn’t make the big bucks.
Cam was like the sister I never had, but I wished she’d relax her standards a bit. She was either going to end up alone and bitter, or in a loveless marriage...and bitter.
“Anyway. How are things in the nookie department?” She asked, wiggling her brows at me.
Our server arrived just then, a smile tugging at his lips. He’d heard her.
Once he was gone I reached across the table and smacked her hand. “Not cool.”
She was too busy laughing to pay me any mind.
“Stop it.” I went for her hand again, but she moved it. “Hush, there is no nookie department. We’ve been dating for a week and a half, sheesh.”
“I bet you’d have given it up to Jay by now.”
For that one she got a kick. She knew not to reference him in that way while I was trying to move past the whole one sided love thing. At this rate it was going to take a life time. Turns out the heart didn’t so easily forget. Every time I thought about him hugging me in my room I wanted to shake some sense into myself. His ‘I love you’ didn’t mean the same as mine, and it never would. “Speaking of Jay, I’m worried about him.”
She looked up from her stuffed shells with a frown. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t talked since he barged in on my date with Keem. This is the third day in a row he’s missed our run, and he’s not answering his phone.” I pushed my spaghetti around on my plate, no longer hungry. “Do you think he’s mad at me?”
“I don’t see why he would be, and if he is, so what. He’s with that squeaky bitch so why should he care who you date.”
I found myself laughing at Brooke’s expense then caught myself. “Maybe we shouldn’t call her bitch so much. Even if she is one, Jay is my friend, it’s kind of wrong to disrespect his girlfriend.”
She rolled her eyes so hard I’m surprised they didn’t scatter across the floor. “He’s not my best friend, and I only respect people who deserve it.” Her gaze slid across the room, and her eyes narrowed to slits. “Speaking of Satan’s fuck buddy.”
I followed her line of vision until my gaze met with Brooke entering Angelo’s.
She scanned the restaurant until her eyes landed on me, and then she headed our way. A deep frown creased her brow, and her nostrils flared so wide an elephant could crawl inside. Seconds later she stood over our table glaring down at me.
Cam glared right back. “Can we help you bitch...I mean Brooke?”
She sneered at Cam and looked down her nose like she was filth on the bottom of her shoe. “This doesn’t concern you, Smurfette.”
In a matter of seconds Cam was out of her seat and in Brooke’s face. Well, as close as she could at her height.
I stepped between them and nudged Cam back. I didn’t doubt she could take Brooke, but the last thing we needed was to get banned from Angelo’s.
Once I had Cam somewhat under control, I faced the she-devil again. “What do you want, Brooke?”
“For you to stay the hell away from my man, Raggedy Anna Mae.”
Taking a calming breath, I moved her manicured finger away from my face. I would’ve bitten
the digit off if not for concern of the diseases it carried, and of course jail time. “Jay and I are friends.”
“Bullshit.” She was rolling her neck so much, I started to hope it would cause her head to pop off like a cheap doll. “You’re not fooling anybody. I see the way you hang all over him, batting your eyelashes, and swinging that nappy ass hair around. Well, news flash, he’s mine. So back. The fuck. Off.”
I considered keeping my mouth shut for about as long as it took me to blink. “You don’t deserve him.”
She looked me from head to toe with her mouth twisted to the side. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You’re a dirty adulterous slut, and you don’t deserve Jay. Maybe if you spent less time fucking other men, you would have to worry about him–” Thwack. Heat flashed across my cheek, and my head whipped to the side.
I lunged for her throat, my hands itching to wrap themselves around it, but she was pulled out my reach by Haikeem. Impeccable timing.
A few employees came over and escorted her out, and then Keem turned to face me. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. I’d be better if you let me stomp a hole in her.”
Taking hold of my hand, he led me back to my seat then slid in beside me. “She’s not worth the trouble, Red.”
He tried to touch my stinging face, which I’m sure was beet red by now, but I swatted his hand away. “I’m fine, Haikeem.”
His gaze shifted away from me and down to the table, where he fiddled with a napkin.
Sighing, I place my hand on top of his. He didn’t deserve the blunt end of my temper. “Thank you.”
He looked at me from the corner of his eye. “For what?”
“Saving me from the electric chair, because I probably would’ve killed her.”
That crooked smile came out to play, and he leaned over and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I get off in ten minutes. Wanna go hang out?”
“Maybe later, Cam and I are having dinner.”
Excuse Me, First Love (College Daze #1) Page 11