I wanted us to be equal. To be balanced. Because I’d always taken without being able to give back to him.
I spun around and rushed toward the door, not caring that I was causing a scene or that the staff who knew me were calling after me. I hadn’t even paid for my drink, but I had to get away from Hyde, and his admission that he missed me was a life and death situation. My mind was racing, and all those emotions and feelings I fought so hard to keep in check were tearing wildly at their restraints.
I planned to make a mad dash to my car, but that plan was thwarted when a rough hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me to a stop. I let out a yelp of surprise as I was spun around, and my back landed on the brick wall of the building. Several people on the sidewalk stepped around me and Hyde, but apparently the dangerous vibes he radiated were enough to make them keep their distance.
I wasn’t scared of Hyde. I knew no matter what had happened between us in the past or what occurred now, he would never hurt me. I knew that was an indisputable fact.
I put my hand on the center of his chest and pushed as he leaned closer.
Now, he was definitely in my space and crowding me on purpose. There was no way to get away from him or the heat radiating from his body.
“Don’t run away from me, Remy. I don’t like it.”
I couldn’t stop the strangled laugh that burst from my lips. I pushed against his chest again and glared up at him. “I didn’t like it when you ran away from me either, but I learned to live with it. So will you.”
I gasped a little when he leaned closer by bracing his arm above my head. He bent down, so his lips were alarmingly close to my ear, and whispered, “I just want the chance to get to know you again. I’ve screwed up a lot of things in my life, and I’m doing my best to make them right. I won’t tell you who to be, Remy. I just want you.”
I let out another hysterical laugh and thumped the side of my fist on his strong chest. “You want me?”
Belatedly he must’ve realized the multiple implications of what he’d said. A flash of panic crossed his gaze, and he moved like he was going to push himself off the wall and retreat.
However, I wasn’t someone who let a gauntlet lie. Before I could process all the ways in which my next actions could blow up in my face or turn the tide on the tentative truce we’d called, I grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and pulled him closer.
I saw his eyes widen and a protest start to form on his lips, but I didn’t give him time to argue before I lifted up on the tips of my toes to touch my mouth to his.
Since I was three years old and Hyde was five, I’d chased him around and stolen playful kisses whenever I caught him off guard.
Maybe I thought this would be similar, that he wouldn’t take it seriously, or it would shock him so much he would push me away and finally keep his damn distance.
I wasn’t ready for his soft sound of surrender. I wasn’t ready for him to suddenly take this so seriously. He moved one of his hands to hold the side of my face and the other to rest on the curve of my waist, and it was shockingly sweet. I wasn’t ready for the way it made my body and mind feel to be so close to him after he was ripped out of my life so violently all those years ago. I felt like I was on fire and ice cold at the same time.
More than any of those things, what I really, really wasn’t ready for was when Hyde kissed me back as if his life depended on it.
Hyde
A LOT HAD changed between the first time Remy kissed me and now.
We were no longer children. We didn’t know everything about each other anymore. I finally felt like I might’ve figured out what it meant to love someone the way they deserved because of my kid. And the biggest change: I finally felt like I was ready to kiss her back.
A switch flipped in my head, a light flipped on inside my heart, and now when I looked at Remy, I no longer saw the little girl I wanted to protect at all costs. She no longer felt like a younger sibling I wanted to guide. She didn’t come across as a young woman on the brink of disaster anymore. She didn’t seem like she would fall apart without me at any moment. In fact, she didn’t seem to give a single shit about me. This version of Remy seemed to have her shit more together than I had at any point in the last eight years. I was both proud and envious of her.
All those times when I let her catch me and kiss me, she’d been playful and tried to push my boundaries. It was a game. She was always blurring the line between the friendship I wanted to maintain and the more that she wanted. She was tempting and teasing but always knew when to pull it back. She liked to make me uncomfortable and uneasy, but it was harmless. The effortless affection was as much a part of her as her contagious laughter and stubbornness. She was warm and demonstrative with everyone she was close to, but I realized she’d reined it in over the years. She wasn’t as touchy-feely. She kept a purposeful distance these days. She was more composed and less free with her affections. This kiss wasn’t a tool to pull me closer like in the old days; this was a weapon she was using to try and drive me away. Unfortunately for her, I didn’t plan on going anywhere now that everything in my life felt like it was finally falling into place.
I threaded my fingers through her curly hair and cupped the back of her head so she couldn’t escape as I returned her surprise kiss with one of my own. I leaned into her small frame, effectively blocking her from the view of anyone who happened to pass by on the sidewalk. I curled a hand around her hip since she had to lift up on her toes to align our mouths. I liked the way she felt pressed against me, and I took full advantage of her surprised gasp when she realized I was kissing her back instead of pushing her away.
This was no friendly peck or a simple touch of the lips. From the start, it was tongues and teeth. It was lips lingering and lungs searching for air as each second the passion and pressure deepened. It was wet and hot. It was uncomfortable because my body instantly reacted and because I wanted to devour her. I was not a guy who often lost his head to desire and want. I wasn’t someone who got carried away; I was too logical and rational for that, but right this second, I wanted to pull all of Remy’s clothes off and press her even harder against the bricks at her back. I wanted to taste all of her and touch her everywhere.
I don’t know where this attraction and hunger came from since I’d known her most of my life, but whatever Remy awoke in my blood since I’d been back was insatiable, and I couldn’t get enough of her.
Kissing Remy Archer for real was a whole sensory experience.
My skin tingled.
My ears were ringing, and I could hear the thump of my heart underneath the buzz.
I couldn’t look away from the pink flush in her cheeks and the way her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
My nose was full of the fruity scent of whatever she used to wash her hair and the sugary scent that seemed to cling to her skin. It was a smell that had always been purely Remy, and it hadn’t changed one bit in all this time.
And the way she tasted… there was a hint of coffee and cream from her drink. There was something like honey or dark caramel from the flavored syrup that made her taste like a dessert. Candy. She was a delectable treat that was melting on my tongue, and I wanted to eat it up. This was hands-down the sweetest, most memorable kiss I’d ever had.
Eventually, Remy relaxed a little, and I felt the tip of her tongue tentatively touch mine. I also felt the hand she was using to grip my t-shirt loosen so that her fingers were resting over my heart. I wondered if she could feel the way it was pounding. I let my hand slide along the curve of her waist and practically groaned when my fingertips encountered bare skin. Apparently, the back of her shirt was shorter than the front and exposed a lot of skin. I didn’t notice when she walked in or when she marched away from me because I was so caught up in my own head, but now all I wanted to do was turn her around so I could drag both my fingers and tongue across the sexy small of her back.
Remy made a little whimpering sound, and her other hand lifted to my shoulder. I thoug
ht she would push me away and maybe remind me that we were in public, but she didn’t. She used her new hold to brace herself, and lifted even farther up on her tippy-toes so she could press her lips more fully against mine.
She started this game, and it seemed like she was determined to be the one to end it.
I felt the nip of her teeth against my lower lip, and the bite of her nails against my skin. Our breath mingled, and our heartbeats synced. Kissing Remy for real was probably the most in tune I’d ever felt with another person. She made my dick hard, and she took my mind off all the other things that had been swirling around, trying to drag me down. All I could focus on was her. All I could think about was when I would get another opportunity to kiss her like this again. Preferably behind a closed door and with a big bed nearby. I used to avoid letting her get this close to me, and now I wondered if I knew all along that once we kissed and meant it, once it wasn’t playtime and harmless flirting, there would be no going back. It was entirely possible I wasn’t going to ever want to kiss anyone else after this.
No one else tasted this good or went to my head so fast.
No one else made me forget where I was and all the reasons I’d ever thought this was a bad idea. It was already a struggle to walk away from her when I had no clue how perfectly she fit in my arms, or how passionately she responded to the barest hint of my hands on her skin and my breath colliding with hers.
I flicked my tongue against the edge of her teeth and dipped even deeper into the warm wetness inside her mouth. All the bitterness that coated my tongue from choking down coffee earlier, when my mind was a million miles away, was washed away and replaced by Remy’s sexiness and sweetness. The sunshine against my back was warm, but it didn’t hold a candle to the way being pressed so intimately against Remy made me burn.
It looked like she still had the ability to make me uncomfortable, but now it was in an entirely different way.
I was well on my way to disregard that we were out in the open, acting just shy of inappropriate, when my phone suddenly started to vibrate in my pocket. It was like having a bucket of cold water dumped over my head. All the anxiety and nerves I’d barely kept at bay came roaring back as I stepped away from Remy so quickly she almost fell. I reached out a hand to help her catch her balance and lifted my phone to my ear.
“Daire. Is everything all right?” I wasn’t expecting her to be the first one to call me. I figured if there was anything to update, Campbell would be the one to reach out. If Daire was calling, it meant she had something to report about the young man I’d entrusted to care for my child. My blood went cold at the thought, and without thinking, I started moving toward where I left my truck parked in front of Wheeler’s garage.
When Remy heard her cousin’s name, she latched her hands around my forearm and tugged on me to get my attention. She was small enough that I practically dragged her across the busy street because I was so determined to reach my destination. I wouldn’t let anything slow me down, not even Remy.
“Everything is fine. I just wanted to let you know things are okay here, so you don’t have to worry. Hollyn even took a little nap earlier. Campbell told me not to bother you. He insisted if I called, you would immediately panic and rush home, but I felt bad not checking in all afternoon.”
I sucked in a sharp breath and closed my eyes for a minute to center myself. There was no way I was going to tell Daire that Campbell was right. As soon as my phone rang, a thousand worst-case scenarios blasted through my mind. What if Hollyn suddenly stopped breathing? What if she’d been kidnapped or had an allergic reaction to something? What if she refused to eat since I wasn’t there or cried the entire day because I was gone? There were so many situations it was overwhelming when I let my mind start to wander. I didn’t want to make Daire feel guilty or let her believe she’d done the wrong thing, so I pulled myself together and told her, “I’m actually on my way home now. You can take off once I get there. I’m glad the two of you had a good day with Hollyn.” I let out the breath I’d just sucked in and dragged a hand down my face. “So, you want me to bring you lunch?”
Daire snorted. “No, thank you. I don’t want to spend any more time with that jerk than I have to.” She paused as if she suddenly had a thought. “Who did you meet for coffee? Was it Remy?”
I looked at the other girl in question. Remy lifted her eyebrows at me and looked pointedly at the phone. If I told Daire she and I were hanging out again, it would spread to the rest of the Archers within minutes. Remy’s expression made it very clear she didn’t want me to tell Daire the truth, but I didn’t want to give her such an easy out. I wanted the people in her life to know I was back and very much planned on taking up her time.
“Yeah. I met with Remy. She told me to tell you to play nice with the new guy.” The last part was totally fabricated, which earned me a kick to the shin. Remy huffed indignantly and crossed her arms over her chest.
Daire let out a little laugh and muttered, “She would never. Remy is the queen of playing dirty. She would never want me to force myself to get along with someone who so obviously despises me. I don’t know what that guy’s problem is, but there is no chance in hell we’re ever going to be friends.”
I told her I would talk to her later and ended the call. Remy gave me a hard look as she tapped her toe against the ground. “Why did you tell Daire we met up today? She’s going to read more into it than there is.”
“There is more.” I reached out a hand and twined one of her curls around my finger. It felt like silk, and I wanted to bury my hands in it all over again. “I’m working on leaving the house in increments. I start my new job in a little under two weeks. I’m going to call you to meet for lunch. Then I’m going to call you and ask you out to dinner. If you agree to either of those, I’m going to call and ask you to dinner and to spend the night with me. I can’t take those steps and leave Hollyn alone for that long unless the person I’m spending time with matters to me as much as she does. It has to be worth it to be away. You are worth it, Remy.”
Her eyes widened, and she fell back a step. She shook her head, pulling the strand of hair I was playing with loose. “What if I don’t answer your calls, Hyde? You still need to figure out how to live your life. I’m not going to be your crutch or your excuse to get out of the house. I’m not planning on being your distraction or experiment while you figure out your new life.” Almost subconsciously, she lifted a hand to her kiss-swollen lips.
“Don’t answer.” I couldn’t force her to see me if she really didn’t want to. But I could make sure she knew I was always there the same way she was when we were growing up. There was no escaping her presence. It was both comforting and unnerving at the same time. Her persistence was legendary, so I couldn’t give up just because she now wanted to be difficult. Didn’t I owe her that much? “If you don’t want to see where this could go, if you don’t want the chance to get to know each other all over again, if you want to stay strangers, then don’t pick up my call. I can’t blame you if that’s what you decide to do. But, if you want to give me a shot to redeem myself, if you want me to have the opportunity to know the woman you are now, answer the call and agree to see me. I wasn’t lying when I said I want you. I do. In many different ways, but most importantly, I want you back in my life in whatever capacity makes you comfortable. You said I needed to find someone else to hold my hand while I figure out parenting, but the only hand I want to hold is yours. It’s always been that way.”
When we were younger, she would lock our fingers together and pull me along. At the time, it felt like an unbreakable bond, and I was willing to follow her anywhere, even if it was just to keep her out of trouble. I was the one who let go. I was the one who left, and ever since then, holding onto someone else felt unbearably wrong.
The only hand I wanted to hold in good times, and in bad, belonged to the woman standing in front of me right now.
“I don’t think you know what you want, Hyde. That was always your problem.” She
spun around on her heel and started to walk away from me, finally giving me a clear view of the back of her shirt. It definitely was missing material. It was made up of a bunch of crisscrossed straps and exposed her spine and the delicate curve of her shoulder blades. She had some kind of lacy and barely-there undergarment on underneath it, but it was still effortlessly sexy, while still keeping her entire front covered. She’d paired the strappy shirt with a pair of black velvet shorts and sparkly tennis shoes. It was a lot of outfit for a regular coffee date, but actually pretty understated for Remy. Her style was always a bit edgy and risqué. I could see it had matured right alongside the rest of her.
“Sometimes, the timing has to be right to get the things we want. Sometimes you have to work for them, be worthy of them. No one is handed everything they desire on a silver platter all the time. Our wants and needs are allowed to change, grow, and become clearer over time. I may not have known what I wanted or who I was when we were younger, but I do now. You don’t want me to define you by who you used to be. Give the guy standing in front of you a chance to show you who he is and what he has to offer.” Since I was no longer worried about destroying her or having her love me to death, I could give her everything I’d worked so hard to build over the years. “Saying goodbye to you was impossible. That’s why I never did it.”
Prodigal Son: A Sexy Single Dad Romance: Book 2 in the Marked Men 2nd Generation Series (The Forever Marked Series) Page 11