Prodigal Son: A Sexy Single Dad Romance: Book 2 in the Marked Men 2nd Generation Series (The Forever Marked Series)

by Jay Crownover

  I puffed out a breath and watched as it filled the air between us, making Cora’s face slightly fuzzy. Mother and daughter bore a striking resemblance to one another, so even though Cora Archer came across as fierce and protective, she still looked a bit like an adult version of Tinkerbell. They were both adorable, even when they were concerned and anxious. Cora’s worry for me was clear in her multicolored gaze, and I felt it hit me in the center of my chest like a balled-up fist.

  I blew out another breath and tilted my head back to look up at the sky. “I just needed some air.” I put the too-big coat on and shoved my hands in the pockets. It was still warm, making me wonder if the small woman had ripped it off her husband’s body to bring it to me. “I’ll go back in a minute. Just need to clear my head a bit.”

  She nodded and rubbed her hands together. She looked at the small church and then back at me. “None of the Archers are very religious. But we have a lot of faith. Faith in each other. Faith that things happen for a reason. Faith that we will all find our way to where we’re supposed to be. Faith that things will work out even if they seem impossible.” It was her turn to blow out a breath that fogged up the space between us. “I’ve been where you are right now, Hyde. I watched Rome slip through my fingers the night he got shot. And I watched Remy struggle to find her way back from the brink. I felt hopeless and wondered if there was anything I could’ve done differently to prevent the people I loved from getting hurt. I felt like it was my fault. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of them because I couldn’t protect them. Eventually, I realized I couldn’t stop a bullet, and in Remy’s case, all I could do was help her treat her disorder; there is no stopping it. You’re in the same situation, Hyde. You can do your best to prevent Hollyn’s illness from getting worse, but she’s always going to be at risk. You can’t stop every bullet that’s going to come her way. She’s so young, and there are going to be so many more trials ahead of both of you. You can’t tear yourself apart each time something bad happens. She needs all of you to help her fight, not what’s left after you shred your own soul into pieces.” She flashed a sardonic grin at me. “I learned that lesson the hard way.”

  This was such a different conversation than the last one we shared over a serious matter. Back then, she seemed to share my concern that I was the root of the problem and made everything worse. Now, she told me I needed to pull it together and be totally present for better or worse. Nothing replaced being there for Hollyn while she was fighting to survive. And while I might not be able to stop a bullet with my bare hands, I could definitely stand in front of her and shield her from the blow as much as possible. I was a much bigger target, after all.

  “I just feel like I should’ve done more.” I sighed and dropped my head so I was looking at the ground instead of the sky. Both were gray and barren because of the weather. “I understand why you wanted me to leave all those years ago. I want to remove whatever might harm Hollyn from her life, including me. If her mother was still alive….” I shook my head and trailed off. I couldn’t even say the words, so there was no way in hell I could actually hand my baby over to someone else without a fight. “Maybe she would have had more of a chance to be healthy and happy. It’s hard not to wonder if I’m enough.”

  Cora moved to stand directly in front of me. She lifted her small hands to my face, clasping my cold cheeks between her palms. She was short enough she had to lift up on her toes to get a good hold, and I found myself unable to tear my gaze away from her two-toned one.

  “You are enough. Even when you doubt yourself and blame yourself, you are enough. All she needs is you. She just needs you to love her, Hyde. Even when you feel like you aren’t sufficient, she’ll never know the difference. She’s fortunate to have so many people waiting to show her how special she is. She will never question how important she is, how vital she is to your life and your happiness. I know it was different for you because you remember your mom and the choices she made that hurt you, but Hollyn will only know you and the way you love her. Never give up on her or yourself.”

  I nodded and felt the hot burn of tears behind my eyes. What she was saying made a lot of sense, but I still struggled to convince myself that I could be everything Hollyn was going to need me to be. My face was squeezed lightly as Cora dropped her voice and asked me in a solemn tone, “You want to know how I know your love is going to be enough for Hollyn?”

  I sniffed and blinked hard against the water in my eyes. My throat was burning, and my chest felt like it was about to cave inward. “How do you know?”

  She patted my frozen cheeks and then moved her fingers so she could force my head upward, so I wasn’t looking at my feet.

  “Because your love was enough for Remy. It’s always been all she ever needed to feel complete. I don’t think either of us knows how many times you saved her when she was younger. But I’m certain I could’ve lost her if she hadn’t had you. I regret a lot of my actions from the past, but making you feel like you hurt her rather than helped her is at the top of the list. If I’m the reason you doubt yourself now, please don’t. I promise you that there is no better champion for Hollyn than you. You need to love yourself as much as you have always loved my daughter.”

  I let out a long, slow breath and let her words seep into the places inside of me that had long been empty and uncertain.

  “I really have always loved Remy in my own way. She’s what kept me going, even when we were apart. She’s always seen the best in me, even when I couldn’t.”

  “And you’ve always seen her for who she is. And how you looked at her never changed, even after we found out why she sometimes can be a serious danger to herself. That kind of clarity is very important when you’re going to be with someone who will always deal with a mental illness. Being able to differentiate between who she is and how she is versus what she is, a person with borderline personality disorder, is key to making a relationship with her work. No one knows her better than you, Hyde. And that’s coming from someone who would give anything to be as close to her as you are. You’ve always been special. So, do not doubt that no one will ever be able to love her better than you. I hope you remember that.”

  I nodded stiffly and shivered deep within the heavy coat. Now that my insides had started to thaw, my outside was feeling the effects of the cold. Cora’s nose was red, and I could see individual snowflakes caught in strands of her hair. Now she looked like the Sugar Plum Fairy from The Nutcracker.

  “It’s cold. Let’s head back inside. I appreciate you all coming to support us. It’s still scary and overwhelming to think I could lose her at any minute, but I don’t feel as alone and desperate as I did when she was born. I feel like if I fall apart, someone is going to be there to put me back together.”

  Cora nodded and followed me back in the direction of the hospital. “That’s the way a family should be. When one of us falls, a hundred hands are waiting to help us get back on our feet. Remy and I might be on the smaller side, but both of us have plenty of experience pulling big men up when they get knocked down. And we never let go of the hands we’ve chosen to hold. You won’t shake us loose, even if you try.”

  To prove her point, she reached for my frozen fingers and wrapped them up in her own. It was weird to hold a hand that wasn’t my mom’s or Remy’s, but it felt nice. My birth mom might’ve let go of the hold she had on me, but I was an idiot for not realizing there were so many others who had stepped up to keep that hand warm and secure in her place.

  There was always a hand to hold when I needed one.

  Back in the hospital, I noticed my parents were standing outside Hollyn’s room talking to Remy’s dad and the nurse who had been in charge of Hollyn’s care during the day shift. For the first time in several days, they looked optimistic, like there was a light at the end of a long tunnel. As soon as I was close enough, my dad put a rough hand on the back of my neck and pulled me close to his side.

  “Hollyn’s oxygen levels are starting to maintain on their own, and her b
lood pressure is starting to stabilize. Her fever is coming down as well. All good news. If she keeps progressing this way, they think she might be able to breathe on her own with supplemental oxygen as early as tomorrow night.” The nurse sounded pleased with the progress and her eyes were kind and filled with understanding as she gave the group of expectant family members the positive update.

  My knees turned to jelly, and there was a good chance I would’ve ended up kneeling on the ground if my dad hadn’t kept me upright. I felt a heavy hand grasp my shoulder and give a reassuring squeeze. I knew it was Rome Archer without having to look. I also knew both my mom and Cora were crying tears of joy without having to see them. Before the nurse mentioned she needed to check on another patient, she told us Hollyn was awake and seemed to be a bit more lively than she had been since she arrived.

  We weren’t out of the woods yet, but we could definitely see the sunlight shining through the branches.

  “Has Remy come back yet?” It didn’t seem right that we were breathing a collective sigh of relief without her.

  When I pulled back from my dad’s protective embrace, I saw Rome shake his head and exchange a knowing look with his wife.

  “Zowen’s keeping an eye on her. She was running on fumes. She’ll be back after she has some time to pull herself together. Stressful situations like this can be a big trigger for her.”

  It was a subtle reminder that while Remy was undoubtedly one of the strongest people I had ever met, she was also inherently fragile. It more than likely took everything she had to be there for me when I really needed her.

  She showed me she loved me through perseverance.

  I showed that I loved her through patience.

  I made a mental note to make sure that I told her exactly how much she meant to me and how grateful I was for her, regardless of how things ended with Hollyn. Her mom was right when she insisted I was enough for my daughter, but the only reason I believed that was because Remy made me feel whole. I was a complete person when I was with her. There were finally no holes left in my heart.

  I did my best to pull myself together and looked toward where Hollyn was proving, once again, she was a fighter. My little girl refused to give up, so I had to stop feeling defeated every time we faced an obstacle together.

  “I need to get back in there with Hollyn.” I let out a long breath and felt my resolve strengthen to the point it was near unbreakable. “I don’t ever want her to have to fight alone.”

  I caught my dad’s eyes, which were an identical match to mine, and I fully believed him when he told me, “She never will, son.”

  Remy

  “I SHOULD GO by Hyde’s place and make sure everything is picked up and put away for when they come home from the hospital.” I knocked on my forehead with my fist. “I should call him and see if he needs me to bring anything to the hospital.” I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to get a grip on my spiraling thoughts. “I should…” I couldn’t finish the sentence because it seemed like there was so much I should be doing, but I felt like I didn’t know where to start and where my energy was best spent. I felt like a top that was doing nothing more than spinning and spinning.

  My brother reached out and grabbed the hand I was using to literally beat myself up and pulled it down so it was resting on the wooden table we were sitting at. He exerted a little pressure to keep it down and told me, “Stop. Just stop, Remy.” His intense gaze locked onto mine, and his mouth flattened into a stern line. When he looked at me with that expression on his face, it felt like he was the older sibling trying to corral the younger one. “You need to rest first. You can take care of Hyde and Hollyn after you take care of yourself.”

  I blew out a frustrated breath, which sent my curls dancing across my forehead. “It feels like there is so much to do and I’m not doing enough to help him. I want to do more.” I wanted to be more, but I didn’t have a ton of experience in that area. All my life, I tended to lean on others and only offer support when it was an area I was familiar and comfortable with. It was a new experience to be the pillar. It took a lot of work to stay strong when someone you loved was obviously suffering.

  “You’re doing enough. You’ve stayed by Hyde’s side from morning until night. You made sure he had something to eat and rested as much as possible. You made sure he wasn’t overwhelmed by his parents and other well-wishers when he wasn’t up to talking about what happened. You had to relive that little girl’s trauma repeatedly when you explained to her grandparents and anyone else who asked what happened. If you run yourself into the ground, if you stop prioritizing your own well-being, there is a solid chance you’ll end up in a bad place. I don’t mind pulling you back from there whenever and wherever, but that’s a lot to ask of Hyde right now while he has so much else going on. He might not be able to see the warning signs until it’s too late. So I’m going to make sure you eat and get some sleep. I’m going to force you to give your brain a break, and I’m going to sit here and hold your hand while you let your emotions out.”

  I blinked at my brother and felt a chill at his keen insight. It was almost as if he knew my greatest fear since getting together with Hyde was that I might become a burden to him. I hoped we could figure out a way to have an equal partnership in our relationship since our strengths and weaknesses complemented one another, but there was always the underlying worry that I would take a turn for the worse and Hyde would be saddled with the task of taking care of me, just like he had when we were kids. I was holding it all together by the skin of my teeth, but my brother was right; I was very close to my breaking point.

  “At some point, I need to learn to save myself. You aren’t always going to be around to do it, Zowen.” And I didn’t want that to be Hyde’s responsibility, either. I thought I was getting better at being my own hero, but Hollyn getting sick was the first big test, and I felt like I was pretty close to failing it. I was really close to my mental danger zone and hadn’t even realized how much I was pushing my luck.

  My brother shook his head and squeezed my hand. “You’re wrong. I will always be there when you need me. And even when you don’t, I’ll be your backup plan.”

  My throat was clogged with emotion, and I couldn’t stop the tears that flooded my eyes. They were hot as they rolled down my cheeks, but the pressure that felt like it was crushing my chest loosened its grip slightly.

  “I’ll be your backup plan, too. I know you’ve always been the more mature one out of the two of us, and that I’ve always needed you more than you need me, but I promise, I’ll always be there for you, too, Zowen.” I was crying in earnest now, my shoulders shook with silent sobs as we stared at each other with tacit understanding.

  His big hand tightened even more on mine, almost as if he was proving it would take a monumental effort to get him to let go of me.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Remy. I’ve always needed you just as much as you need me. You keep life interesting and fun. You make me smile, and you’ve always protected me. Every single time I thought I was going to get lost in Ry’s shadow, you showed up with all your light and love and made sure I didn’t disappear. You’re the only person I’ve ever told my secrets to, and you’re the only one who can make me laugh when I feel like crying. I wouldn’t be who I am without you. I would’ve had the most boring childhood ever if you hadn’t been a part of it. All I wanted to do was play video games and soccer. You forced me out of the house and made sure every day was an adventure. You’ve always been my best friend.” He lifted a hand and put it on top of my head as I dropped my face to rest on my arm. I was crying so hard it was difficult to catch my breath. There was something about all the big, silent men in my life suddenly having a lot to say that undid my insides and made my heart flutter from the sweetness.

  “You’re my best friend, too.” I barely whispered the words as my emotions continued to run wild and leak out with each teardrop and sniffle. It was cathartic to let everything out, and the chaos inside my head slowly started to die down.r />
  I must’ve cried myself to sleep. When I opened my eyes, I was startled to find that the sun was setting behind the mountains, and I was laying on top of my bed. My eyes were gritty from crying, and I had a bit of a low-grade headache, but before I did a full inventory of my condition, I searched frantically for my phone. It wasn’t on the charger, and it hadn’t rung since Zowen dragged me home. I promised Hyde he would be able to get a hold of me when I left the hospital, and I was damn near having a panic attack thinking I may have gone back on my word.

  Just as I was about to scream in frustration and pull my hair out over my own incompetence, I noticed my brother was still in my house. It was apparent he’d spent the hours I was sleeping tidying up the space; he even went to the store to make sure I had the basics in the pantry. I could see fresh fruit on the counter and a couple bags of take-out on the table. Zowen was sitting on my couch with a laptop open on his lap. My phone was on the glass coffee table next to his. I guess he’d been acting as a watchdog, as well as my babysitter, for the afternoon.

  He turned his head to look at me when I crawled off the bed. I pushed my tangled hair out of my face and pointed at the phone. “Did Hyde call?”

  My voice was raspy and rough, but I could hear how anxious I sounded.

  Zowen nodded without looking away from the computer screen. “He did. Hollyn is improving slowly but surely. She’s maintaining her oxygen levels on her own. I asked him if he wanted me to wake you up so he could tell you what was going on himself, but he told me to let you sleep. He ordered me to feed you and said he would call you later. It sounds like all the grandparents were there at the hospital with him.”