by Anna Albo
“These peanuts are addictive,” I said, attacking the wooden bowl on our table. “I could eat them all.”
“You’ll get sick,” Jason warned.
“Don’t care.”
Jason studied the room. “Definitely a college hangout.”
“Yup. And it doesn’t escape me that every girl in this place has checked you out.”
“Really? Hadn’t noticed.”
“Oh, come on! How can you not?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Why would I notice? You’re the only one I want to be with, even when I’m going to have to listen to you complain all night about a stomachache.”
“That’s so sweet.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Not that I’m encouraging it, but you could probably go up to just about any girl here and she’d be putty in your hands.”
“Are you trying to pawn me off?”
“No, I’m just telling you how hot you are.”
He looked down at the table and nodded ever so slightly. “You know, I used to hang out at a place just like this back home. After Laura took off, me and the guys did a lot of partying, and I was having a lot of fun. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but when you eventually meet my friends, I’m sure they’ll spill the beans. I had a lot of meaningless flings and, honestly, it becomes boring pretty fast. Once I got it out of my system, I didn’t date for a long time. You’re the first real relationship I’ve had in a couple years.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I was tired of meeting girls who just wanted to screw around. I promised myself that the next time I started dating someone, she had to be worth it. I had to know it wasn’t about sex.”
Suddenly the first evening at his place came thundering back to me. “The night I came over and made you dinner. Did you think I was just trying to have sex with you?”
“Not really.”
“Not really! Jason!”
“I wasn’t sure,” he said, trying to fight back laughter.
“Since we’re being honest, I should admit that I thought you were hot and wanted to see you shirtless really badly.”
“I wanted to see you shirtless too.”
I was just about to ask him who Laura was when Anita and Mike appeared. Introductions were made, and before Mike could settle in, Anita sent the boys off to get more drinks from the bar.
“OMG! He’s gorgeous! I love him already.”
“You don’t know him yet,” I said.
“I can see why you like him.”
We both glanced over at the bar. The boys were yakking away to one another with a lot of nodding and laughing. They’d hit it off.
“I will say that before I can officially approve him, I’ll need to get to know him better, but so far it’s promising. Where did all the peanuts go?”
“I ate them.”
Nearly ten minutes passed before the boys returned. Mike was cradling a coffee for himself and a rye and Coke for Anita, her drink of choice. Jason was still nursing his first beer but had another for me. The peanuts had made me thirsty.
“We were going to send out a search party,” Anita commented.
“They had to make a pot of coffee for me,” Mike said. “Where did all the peanuts go?”
“I’ll get more,” Jason offered, grabbing the bowl and heading to the bar.
Mike leaned in close to me. “I like him!”
“You guys are crazy! You’ve known him for all of two minutes.”
“Look, a guy knows right away when he’s going to like another guy. In fact, we’re thinking of catching a Wild game in the next couple of weeks.”
They liked him. They really, really liked him. A wide smile crept up on my face and nothing was going to wipe it away.
“ARE YOU READY?”
“I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“No turning back.”
“I know.”
Anita and I were at the post office about to hand off our five law school applications. We’d worked hard on them, for months, and now they were going to be handed over to a pimply twenty-year-old attendant, and we were entrusting him with our future. And once those applications were out of our hands, we had to forget about them and not question if we had the right LSAT scores or the highest GPA. Would the admissions committees appreciate our extracurricular work? Would it all be enough? And what if we didn’t get into any law school? What if we both didn’t get into U of M?
“I’m not sure we can trust him. Let’s go to another post office,” Anita said, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me towards the door.
“It will be fine,” I said. “We’ll get a receipt and make sure he puts it in the right bin.”
Our turn came and we both reluctantly handed over our applications. The attendant sneered at us when Anita made him promise not to lose them.
“Don’t piss him off,” I muttered. “He’ll make sure they get lost.”
“I’m going to be watching my email for a week,” Anita said once we were outside. “You know it could take that long until we get our admission confirmations.”
“Don’t worry, they’ll get there.”
“Let’s go to Billie Jean’s. I need a drink.”
“We’re going to be regulars over there.”
On a Thursday afternoon with winter break still on, Billie Jean’s was virtually deserted. We took a booth and ordered a couple of beers. I didn’t touch the peanuts. I hated when Jason was right. They’d given me a stomachache all night.
“What do we do if I get into Northwestern and you get into Cornell?” Anita asked.
“You go to Northwestern and I wallow here.”
“Don’t say that. You could make it work.”
I sipped my beer, because I’m a girl and that’s what we do with beer. Or, in actuality, I hadn’t eaten much and didn’t want to down the whole thing. “I can’t afford it. There is no way around it unless my parents take equity out of the house, and even with that, it’s too risky. I’m not going to get in anyway, so why even think about it? You and I are going to U of M, right?”
A big smile spread across Anita’s face. “Of course we are, but I can dream, can’t I?”
“You make me a promise, Anita Kumar. If you get into Northwestern, you are going. Do not feel guilty, and don’t you dare look back.”
“And you promise me that if you get accepted by Cornell, you’ll do everything you can to get yourself to upstate New York.”
“Deal.”
We shook on our implausible deal and downed a couple of beers once we got our food.
“Now that the applications are out of the way, it’s time to really focus on my party this weekend.”
“You’ve been focusing on that party for weeks.”
Anita let out a laugh. “True! I really can’t wait. My last pre-semester party. I just want you to know that I’ve invited a ton of people.”
“How are you going to put the house back together before your dad gets back on Sunday night?”
“Details. And Jason is still coming?”
“Nothing’s changed on my end.”
A mischievous grin crossed Anita’s face. “Mike and I talked a lot about Jason. We think he’s great for you. He’s so different from Eric—in a good way, of course,” she said. “He’s genuine. There was always something phony about Eric.”
“You can say that again.”
“I think Mike might have a new BFF.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“This party is going to be epic because, once we start law school, I’m worried our party days will be over for a while.”
ANITA EASILY HAD SIXTY to seventy people milling around her house. Thankfully, she had all the valuables hidden away along with the breakables because I was pretty certain she didn’t know half the people there. If nothing else, though, anyone under the age of twenty-one was quickly shown the door by the undercover security she’d hired. I wish I had Anita’s mo
ney to burn.
Jason and I arrived just after ten. I’d been working until eight and he’d picked me up and let me get ready at his place. I’d already arranged to stay the night there so I left the rest of my stuff behind in my own little section of his apartment. I even had my own drawer in the bathroom and his bedroom.
“I’m the oldest person here,” he declared. He surveyed the room and frowned. “How long do we have to stay?”
“First of all, you aren’t the oldest person in the room,” I lied. “Secondly, a minimum of two hours.”
“Point out one person over the age of twenty-five.”
“Mike is twenty-four. Isn’t that close enough?”
“At least he’s here.”
Amongst all her guests, Anita spotted us right away. She danced over, a big red cup in hand full of what was likely rye and Coke. First she hugged me tightly before moving on to Jason who awkwardly accepted the embrace.
“I am so glad you guys are here.” She giggled. “We are going to have so much fun! And did you see the turnout! It’s the best I’ve ever had.”
“There’s a lot of people here.”
“We have to get you drunk tonight. Jason, trust me, I’m doing you a favor.”
Jason cringed a little.
“I’d like to pace myself, if that’s okay,” I said.
“Pace yourself? This might be the last time we have fun . . . ever again.”
“Is that Mike?” Jason asked, peering over top us. “Please tell me that’s Mike.”
“Oh, yeah, he’s talking to some work friends.”
“I’m going to go join him.” He pointed to his watch and mouthed “two hours” before walking over to Mike.
Anita put her hands on my shoulder and stared me in the eyes. “So don’t freak out, but Callie is here.”
“You told me that you’d invited her.”
“Right,” she slurred. “Well, there’s a little problem. Eric is here too.”
My blood turned cold even though it burned through my veins. The fact that Eric and Jason were breathing the same air made me unsteady on my feet. Thankfully Anita still had her hands on me. “What? Where are they?”
“I don’t know. Basement, probably. I had no idea he was coming, I swear. Look, it will be fine.”
My thoughts were swirling. I could still grab Jason and leave. There was no point in staying. First of all, I didn’t want to see Eric, and secondly, I didn’t want Jason to see Eric either. It wasn’t that I expected anything to happen, but on the other hand, I wasn’t sure either.
“I think Jason and I should go.”
“Why? So what that he’s here? You guys are so over and you’ve moved on to this great guy. You can’t just run away every time he comes around. Look, I’ll throw him out, would that make you stay?”
“I don’t want you to throw him out. That will only cause problems with Callie. If we slip out, no harm done.”
“You are not leaving! What’s the big deal? Just stay a bit, and if you’re really uncomfortable, I give you permission to leave. Please,” she begged.
Despite my better judgment, I agreed.
“Now let’s start you on that first drink.”
With my newfound drink in hand, I immediately went to Jason’s side. I thought to tell him that Eric was here somewhere, but I wasn’t sure that was the right approach. In fact, I really had no idea what to do, and gulping down a Lucky 7 wasn’t going to help things. Casually, I tried to scan the room as Jason and Mike talked about cars. Maybe if we snuck out, Anita wouldn’t miss us. There were so many people here, how could she possibly know—and then it occurred to me that Mike, the person standing across from me, would tell her. One drink and I already wasn’t thinking straight.
As if her ears were burning, she appeared in front of me with another drink. “They are playing pool downstairs,” she said in my ear. “They aren’t coming up anytime soon.”
“I really don’t want to run into him.”
“Yes, I know. You’ve only told me about a million times. Besides, you’ve got that gorgeous human specimen on your arm.” And then I watched her mind drift off. “He must be rock solid,” she said, drool forming at the corners of her mouth. “I bet he’s so chiseled. How’s his package?”
“OMG! How much have you had?”
“Apparently too much. Forget all of that.”
I took another sip. The fact that we had managed to avoid crossing paths for this long was a miracle. It’s not like our part of town was massive, but somehow we stayed away from each other. I didn’t particularly like many of his friends, and while I got to know some of their girlfriends, we didn’t keep the friendships going. When I dumped Eric, I knew it was all or nothing, and other than losing Callie, I didn’t give up all that much.
“He’s got to know I’m going to be here.”
“Honestly, I don’t think he cares.”
Her statement resonated with me. No, he didn’t care. Eric’s main concern in life was himself. Until Jason, I didn’t know what it was like for a guy to want to do something for me. I was accustomed to Eric making the demands, pleasing Eric, doing what Eric wanted—there was never any return from him. His bravado got him through our breakup. Did he miss me? I liked to think he did, but I knew he went out of his way to tell people it was no big deal. The bravado even extended to me. Other than a few texts, he made no attempt to get me back. I believe he thought I’d come wallowing, begging his forgiveness. Fat chance.
“Jason, can I get you a beer? Something?” Anita asked.
“I’m the designated driver tonight.”
“One won’t hurt.”
“Maybe later.”
“I’m going to circulate. It is my party after all. Grace, you coming?”
“I’m going to stay here.”
She rolled her eyes and resumed her hostess duties.
Mike decided to introduce Jason to some of his friends. While normally this would have been a great idea, I had no idea where he was going to take us. The last place I wanted to visit was the dreaded basement, but thankfully we remained on the first floor. Jason chatted with a few of the guys, and I was happy to see him getting to know people. Other than his work friends and me, he really had no one else. Mike even arranged a guy’s night out the following weekend. I watched as Jason talked and laughed with all these new people while I stood back with yet another drink from Anita and worried. I had to get us out of here and fast.
I tapped on Jason’s shoulder and he looked down at me. “We should probably get going soon,” I said.
“Really? I’m actually having a good time.”
Damn it!
“But we said only an hour or two.”
“We’ll stay another half hour.”
I groaned and began to tap my foot impatiently on the ground. We needed to go because my luck would eventually run out. Compounding my problems was the fact I had to use the restroom, which meant leaving the protection of Jason’s side. Or, worse, was I leaving Jason unprotected? I could hold it, but the more I thought about it, the more I had to go. I downed the last of my drink and headed to the restroom. I weaved through the crowd and was happy to make it there safely and to find it vacant. I took my time despite the frantic knocking seconds later.
“Use another one,” I called out. “She has four of them!”
The knocking stopped and I tried to settle myself. The alcohol was starting to kick in and my head was spinning a bit. I should have eaten more. Even though there were snacks everywhere, my stomach couldn’t take a single potato chip, pretzel, or nacho. I took a few breaths and decided that whatever Jason was doing, I didn’t care. We were leaving.
I stepped out of the washroom to see a blonde standing there. She gave me a dirty look and pushed past me. I cut through the hallway on my way to the dining room when Eric stepped in front of me. He hadn’t seen me at first and nearly knocked me down.
“Sorry. Oh, hi, Grace.”
My mouth went dry. His hazel eyes were st
aring at me intently and I felt myself shrinking under his gaze. After all this time he still intimidated me, and while he didn’t scare me, I couldn’t help but panic a little.
“Hey, Eric.”
“I was wondering if you’d be here.” A small smirk formed on his lips and the alcohol began to bubble up into my throat like instant heartburn.
“I got here a couple of hours ago.” My voice was shaky and I hated giving him that satisfaction. The last thing I wanted him to think was that I was nervous, happy, or excited to see him because I was none of the above. I felt gross and dirty just being near him.
“It’s been awhile. How have you been?”
He shifted his weight, leaning up against the wall and making himself appear more casual, but he no doubt was intimidating me, trying to keep me trapped with him. I took a step back and glanced out to the dining room. Jason wasn’t there. Where had he gone?
“I’m good.”
“I got a job at Winslow and moved out of my parents’ place last fall. I figured it was time to get my wings.”
My mouth dropped open and I shut it. Was he serious? I didn’t ask how he was nor did I care. He was talking to me like nothing had happened, that we were old friends catching up.
“Look, I know things didn’t end well with us, but I hope we can be friends,” he went on. “Call each other once in a while. I do miss you.”
There was absolutely no warmth to his voice. He was speaking mechanically, telling me what he thought he needed to say.
“I’m seeing someone.”
His face soured and his eyes froze over. “Oh.”
“Yes, so I should probably go.”
“Who is he?” That usual edge to his voice instantly appeared, the same tone he used when he was pissed off at me.
“No one you know.”
His jaw tensed and his lips went pencil thin. “How long have you been seeing him?”
“Eric, it’s none of your business. You moved on, and I moved on. It’s been a long time, so let’s just say goodbye.”
He moved in front of me, fully blocking my escape. I took another step back, my shoulders hitting the wall. He leaned in closer to me and now we were less than twelve inches apart.