Grinning, and feeling a tad bit better because Jenna was such a sunbeam, Lily helped her sit down. Each chair had a comfy cushion on it, perfect for her. “We agree.” Straightening, she placed the walker within arm’s reach of Jenna and then headed to the refrigerator. Jake hadn’t done this before and she warmed to his thoughtfulness. The way she felt right now, she wasn’t sure she had the concentration necessary to make breakfast anyway. Had she awakened Jake with her screams last night? Did he know what had happened? That she’d had a merciless flashback? If anyone would know, it would be him. Lily needed to talk to him.
Chapter Six
June 7
Jake was disgruntled at his decision to come back to the cabin at noon. He never came back midday. But now he had. Pulling up in his truck, he put it in Park and turned off the engine. The day was sunny, the sky starting to show some clouds over the Wilson Range to the west of him. Dammit! He wanted to avoid the reason he was coming to the house. It wasn’t to see how his mother was doing. No, what had been eating at his craw all morning long was their conversation about Lily. About her screaming, the sound carrying to Jenna’s room and awakening her.
Mouth tight, he shut the door, his boots crunching across the gravel as he headed for the sidewalk that led to the gate and the cabin on the other side of it. Why the hell was he worried about Lily? She’d either had a flashback or a nightmare. But he knew the difference, and that was what ate at him. His own flashbacks the first year after leaving the military had nearly rendered him paralyzed in some ways, barely able to function like a normal human being. Thankfully, they were less frequent now, and if he got one only every three or four months, that was progress. There was nothing he could do to stop them or change them. And Lily couldn’t either. He knew, as he pushed the gate open, that Lily was recently out of the military herself, so her issues were probably weekly, maybe more.
He wanted to talk with her, but he knew she was probably fixing Jenna lunch about now. It wasn’t the right time. But something kept nudging him . . . hell, shoving him . . . to come home to check up on her. To see if she was okay. As he thunked up the stairs to the porch, he didn’t know what to expect. He wasn’t worried that Lily wouldn’t do her job responsibly. She was a vet. She’d die before leaving her post. She wouldn’t allow Jenna to get into medical trouble.
Drawing in a deep breath, he brushed his boots on the thick mat outside the door, gripped the knob and pushed it open. To his surprise, he saw Jenna sitting at the table, facing him.
Lily was in the kitchen, making sandwiches. She lifted her head at the sound of the door opening, and Jake got a good look at her pale features, the smudges beneath her eyes and the darkness clouding them. Her hair, which was usually in a ponytail, was free, somehow telling him she was at loose ends within herself. He’d always believed in his gut intuition and it had often saved his life in combat. In some ways, he was like a hound dog on a scent. He could sniff out a situation, a tenor of energy, and know if it was safe or a threat to him. As he took off his hat and settled it on a nearby peg, he closed the door.
“You got an extra sandwich, Lily?” He liked her name. Liked the musicality of it. There was shock in her eyes, her hands frozen over the cutting board for a moment.
“Er . . . yes . . . yes, of course.”
“This is a nice surprise!” Jenna called from the table.
Frowning, Jake muttered, “I just happened to be in the area, was all.” He tore his gaze from Lily, who had jump-started herself, finishing off three sandwiches at the kitchen counter. Forcing himself to move toward the table and not Lily, he said to his mother, “I didn’t know you could get from your bedroom to out here.”
“Lily’s to blame,” she said, giving the young woman a warm smile. Lily smiled back, but it was a tight, nervous one.
“That’s good progress,” Jake agreed. He halted at the chair, hands on the rail. “Lily? Would you like some help?”
“No . . . I’m fine. Would you like a turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato on it?”
“Sounds good.” He looked to the coffeepot and saw it was plugged in. “Jenna? You want some coffee?”
“Absolutely. I think it’s done.”
Nodding, Jake moved into the kitchen. Lily gave him a glance. There was worry on her face. She wasn’t capable of hiding her feelings, and while that was good for him to see, it also meant she wasn’t a game player. She wouldn’t do well at a poker table, that’s for sure. He pulled down three cups. “Want some, too?” he asked her, giving her a glance. She was placing a sandwich with a handful of Fritos on three plates.
“Yes, please.”
Nodding, he filled the cups. She moved to the table, two of the plates in hand. On the way back, Jake got a better look at Lily. Her skin was stretched tight across her cheekbones. There was no color in her face at all. He sensed she’d had a flashback and he’d damn well like to be sure about it. They were handled differently from nightmares. As he slid a cup in Jenna’s direction, he placed one next to him. Pulling out Lily’s chair, he waited for her to arrive with her plate. He had a lot of questions for her, but none he could ask in front of his mother. Lily would be defensive in front of her, and Jake had no wish to make her feel humiliated or outed by him.
“This is very tasty, Lily.” Jenna beamed across the table at her.
“Thanks.”
“You put something zesty into it. What did you use?”
“A bit of horseradish with mayonnaise.”
Jake pulled out the chair for her. She seemed flustered by his manners but sat down, quickly pulling her chair up to the table. He sat down at the head of the table, Jenna on his right and Lily on the left.
“Well, it’s pitch perfect,” Jenna praised. “I’ll tell you, Jake, Lily is an incredible cook. I love everything she’s made for us so far.”
“Me too,” Jake agreed, biting into the sandwich. It tasted good. Better than the protein bar he had stashed in the glove box of his truck.
“It’s such a beautiful day today,” Jenna said wistfully.
“Are you going outside yet?”
“No. Lily says next week. But she’s going to let me go out with my walker to the front porch, sit in the swing so I can watch the world go by, later today.”
“Fresh air heals,” Lily whispered, barely eating her sandwich. Her hand trembled as she picked up a Frito. “Sun, a breeze and just being out in nature is a prescription that always helps.”
“You should go out,” Jenna urged. “I have my eye on walking around that small lake in front of the house, Jake. But it’s got long strands of grass and Lily is afraid I might get a foot tangled in it and fall.”
“That can happen,” he said. “Better to take it slow and easy.”
“I wish I could ride a horse.” Jenna sighed.
“That will come with time,” Lily promised.
“Do you ride?” Jake asked her. He tried not to pry into her life, but the question unexpectedly popped out of his mouth.
“No.”
“I thought you were raised on a farm in Idaho.”
“I was, but my dad kept a few milk cows, and we had a dog and lots of cats, but no horses. He was a potato farmer, not a rancher.”
“You know,” Jenna said, wiping her fingers on a paper napkin, “you haven’t left this house since I arrived, Lily.”
“I’m going to start going to the dog shelter next week, after I’m sure you can get around by yourself.”
“Well,” she sighed, looking out the window, “you’re pale today and I think you need some sunshine.” Tilting her head, she gave her son a fond look. “Jake? Could you take Lily around with you? She hasn’t even seen Maud and Steve’s ranch. It’s huge. Maybe get her out for a bit of fresh air?”
Jake silently thanked his mother. He was sure she didn’t realize he was looking for a way to get Lily alone. “Sure I can. Lily? I’ve got about two hours in this area of the ranch. You’re welcome to ride along with me, and I can show you around. What do y
ou think?” Never had he wanted anything more as he saw her lashes drop as she considered his request. Her hands were beneath the table and he was sure they were clasped. Maybe she was in the throes of an anxiety attack. She felt tentative.
Jenna reached across the table as Lily brought her hands up to it. “Go, Lily! There’s no reason why we both have to be housebound.”
Lily gave Jenna a half smile. “Two hours?”
“I’m going to hobble into the living room and work on my knitting. Go with Jake! You need to get out for a bit, I think.”
Lily forced herself to look up at Jake. “Sure I won’t be in the way?”
“No. I have stops to make, but you’re welcome to climb out of the cab and come with me. More or less acquaint yourself with some of the ranch, if you want.” Jake didn’t want to press her unduly. Silently, though, he was urging Lily to say yes. Her expression was unsure. There was a scattering of fear in her large blue eyes, and he wondered if it was the remnants of the flashback she’d endured. His gut said yes, it was.
“Well . . . yes, I think I’d like that.” Worriedly, Lily held Jenna’s gaze. “Are you sure about this?”
Patting the pocket of her slacks, Jenna said, “My cell phone’s on me. If I need you, I’ll call.”
“I’ll take my cell phone for sure,” Lily promised.
Jake watched her rise, her fingers having a subtle tremble as she gathered up the empty plates. He remembered all too well how damned shaky he was—inside and out—after a flashback hit him. He saw Lily chew on her lower lip as she hurried away to the kitchen, plates in hand. She was wearing a loose set of jeans that couldn’t hide her nicely rounded hips or her long legs. Jake liked the way they swayed too much, unhappy with his body’s clamoring needs. Rising, he said to Jenna, “I’ll bring her back in two hours.”
“Good,” Jenna said. “If I get tired, I’ll go lie down, but usually I like to watch some TV and knit after lunch.”
Jake moved to his mother’s chair and helped her pull it away from the table. He brought her walker to it to make the transfer easy on her. “Knit away,” he teased, giving her a slight smile. Again, he wondered if Jenna had somehow sensed he wanted to talk to Lily in private. He never underestimated his mother’s strong intuitiveness. After all, he’d gotten his own powerful gut check ability directly from her, and he was thankful for the times it had helped him save his life and the lives of the others with him.
He picked up everything else from the table, joining Lily in the kitchen. He felt a twinge as he saw her hands still trembling. What she needed—what he’d needed when it happened to him—was to crawl into the arms of a woman, in his case, and just be held. God, how many times had he wished for an embrace as he soaked the bedsheets with his sweat, sitting there shaking, his gut so damned tight it ached? Risking a glance in her direction, he saw her face was maybe even more pale than before. Did she not want to be with him? Not wanting to ask the question, his gut told him Lily would be better off if she got away from the house for a while. He knew he hated going into his bedroom after a flashback. Grabbing a blanket and pillow, he would make his way out to the living room and sleep on the couch. No, the bedroom always held the specter of the flashback. He never had one out on the couch.
* * *
Lily tried to quell her rolling stomach as she slid into the cab of Jake’s huge three-quarter-ton pickup. The sun was bright, almost hurting her eyes.
“Here,” Jake said, climbing in, “wear this.” He handed her a black baseball cap with Wind River Ranch embroidered in red across the front.
Their fingers met briefly, and Lily was amazed at how much her stomach settled down after that. “Why . . . thank you. Is this your hat?”
“Sort of,” he hedged, belting in and starting the engine. The truck purred to life. “I prefer a Stetson, but if I’m going to be on horseback or helping the wranglers in a corral, branding or vaccinating, I always throw that on my head instead.” He managed a one-cornered smile. “Don’t want to get my good Stetson dirty.”
She laughed a little as she settled it on her head. Her thick brown hair wouldn’t be tamed, so she took it off, stuffed her hand into the pocket of her jeans and drew out a rubber band. Quickly, she gathered her slightly wild hair into a ponytail. Then the cap went on easily. She glanced at Jake and saw him nod, pleased.
He drove over the graveled road and onto an asphalt one that would take them to the headquarters of the ranch. “I’ve got to stop at the medical dispensary and pick up a couple of boxes of syringes and vaccination bottles. I imagine you know a lot about those?”
She leaned back, feeling some of her tension melt, clasping her hands in her lap. “Just a little. I guess you have a group of your men vaccinating cattle today?”
“Yeah, but it’s not cattle. It’s buffalo.”
“Oh. I didn’t know Maud had any on her land. I thought they could give cattle brucellosis.”
“Actually,” Jake said, “brucellosis can attack cattle and bison or vice versa. I’m picking up the OCV, brucellosis vaccination. We’re going to vaccinate some buffalo calves that are four months old today.”
“I learn something new every day,” she said, impressed by his knowledge.
“Maud’s buffalo herd numbers a hundred. We had fifteen cows drop their calves the same day. At four months, we like to vaccinate. The wranglers already have the calves and mothers in specially built pens and a corral. They’re waiting for me to bring the shots out to them.”
“Do you have a vet give the shots?”
“Actually, our vet hopes like hell we’ll do the vaccinating because bison are wild and don’t like to be put in holding pens. They’ll tear the hell out of a normal cattle pen, so we have to construct specially built corrals for this kind of thing so they don’t wreck the place.”
She laughed a little. “Even a little four-month-old buffalo calf is a handful?”
“Yeah, small but surprisingly strong. Plus, we have to watch the mothers, who we place in a pen next to the chute where we vaccinate. Some mothers get hyper and they have horns and go at the four-by-fours that make up the fence. Other mothers call to their calves but remain quiet. We never know what will happen.”
“Sounds dangerous.”
He glanced at her. “That’s why I’d like you along. You’re a nurse. If one of us gets nailed, you can be our medical help.”
“So, there was a reason your mother suggested I go out with you this afternoon?”
“No. Jenna has always been a worrywart about me, so I never tell her I’m going to be tangling with a one-ton bull buffalo or cows with calves. She knows buffalo are twitchy at best and you can’t guess what they’ll do when wranglers ride up on horses to herd them from one pasture to another.”
“I’ve seen bison in a zoo,” she said, “but never out in the open like this.” The Salt River Range, to the east, was still clothed in snow at the tops of the peaks. Below, a carpet of evergreens coated their slopes.
“I’ll keep you out of harm’s way,” he promised. “Or you can stay in the truck and watch from there. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, Lily.”
She felt her cheeks burning and lifted her left hand, fingers touching her cheek. The look Jake gave her stirred her as a woman. She was surprised at how her body reacted to that one warm glance. It had been over a year since she’d had relations with a man. There was a kindness in the tone of his voice, and she saw it in his green eyes. More tension bled out of her.
“Jenna worries about you, about the children she taught through the years. I think she’s one of those special human beings who truly cares about others. Nowadays,” and she looked out the window for a moment, “it’s become a rare thing.”
“You care.”
“Yes, yes, I do.”
“A good trait to have in a human being,” he agreed. Turning, he drove down a slight slope into the HQ area. There were barns, employee housing, a lot of corrals, twelve small cabins farther out for guests and the main buildings
where the heart of the place beat. He parked in front of the medical facility, which sat next to the main offices. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
Nodding, she watched Jake move. He was lithe for his height and the breadth of his shoulders beneath the lightweight denim jacket. There was nothing about the man that didn’t appeal to her. He wasn’t pretty-boy attractive; rather, he had a face that had seen a lot, weathered a lot and was stoic-looking. She wished she could hear him laugh. What would it sound like? Jake always had a bright red kerchief around his neck and usually wore a long-sleeved chambray shirt. Jenna had grumped that her son must have eight chambray shirts in his closet, jeans to match and nothing else. They both got a giggle out of that comment. He didn’t seem concerned about what he wore except that it was functional and as tough as he was. She noticed his boots were well scuffed, worn and had seen a lot of work as well. A pair of elkskin gloves sat between them on the seat. They, too, were worn. She enjoyed watching a pair of cowboys on two bay horses clip-clop down the main road. Truly, this was the Old West she’d loved to read about as a teenager. Lonesome Dove was one of her favorite books.
Jake came back promptly, a red-and-white cooler in one hand and a box of syringes in the other. He opened the door and handed her the small cooler.
“Tuck that between your feet?”
“Sure.”
Next came the box of syringes and needles in a cardboard box. It fit on her lap easily and was lightweight.
“Thanks. I’m not used to having an assistant,” he said, climbing in.
“I’m glad Jenna kicked me out of the house.” She had rolled down the window. The truck was not one of those fancy electric car window types. It was fairly old, dents here and there, paint scuffs along with it just like the boots Jake wore.
“It’s a nice day,” he grunted, putting the vehicle into reverse, backing away from the buildings. “Enjoy this time of year around here because come September, the snow starts flying.”
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