by J. L. White
We ride the waves out together, his rhythms slowing. Soon, he’s going so slow, he’s almost caressing my channel with his still-firm cock. Just to make the devastation of the tsunami complete, he puts his mouth on me and gives me a deep, lingering kiss I can feel all the way to the bottom of my soul.
When he finally pulls away, we’re softly panting, and looking one another in the eye. He’s not moving, not doing anything to my body really, but I feel myself falling deep into those beautiful brown eyes and still being swept away. It goes on and on, what Jack can do to me.
I close my eyes and tuck my forehead into his neck. His embrace around me tightens. I grip him harder too.
“You’re amazing, Sam,” he says.
I didn’t even do anything, I think. But I look up at him anyway, and let him kiss me again. It’s so sweet and so tender, I melt right into the mattress, but I somehow gather strength enough to kiss him back.
Chapter 17
Sam
We’re lying in bed on our sides, facing one another. We’re still nude, but the covers are draped loosely over our waists. His arm is under my head and I’m resting my hand on his bicep. His other hand is resting on the mattress, his fingers lightly caressing my stomach. Our calves are intertwined gently.
I’m feeling a little wobbly on the inside, after everything that’s happened. I think he is too, because as we talk, we’re struggling a bit to find our feet.
Maybe it’s because there are things we’re not saying. At least, there are things I’m not saying. Because I can’t stop thinking about what he’s doing to me, how overpowering it is to be with him. It’s a little easier in this moment, because I’m not trying to consume him, all while he’s consuming the hell out of me. But even just lying here he’s this powerful presence, and I feel on the edge of something bigger than me.
How do I tell Jack those things?
Then there’s the other thing. The terrible thing we did. I want to know how he feels about that. I want to know what he’s been going through since then and how he feels now. But I don’t know if he wants to talk about it yet. Or ever.
Then there are all the things I’m flat afraid to ask about. I don’t understand what Emily was to him. I don’t know what I am to him, now that we’ve crossed this line. I really don’t know what we’re doing.
And I don’t know how to start talking about any of it.
It doesn’t help that I see something weighing on him.
So I give voice to the one thing in my heart I feel I can say aloud. “I missed you, Jack.”
His face softens. “Did you?”
“Of course,” I say softly. “Dork.”
There’s a brief smile. “I missed you, too.” Then, he’s back to looking heavy.
My fingers absently caress his bicep. He’s taken to watching his own fingers, as they trace lightly on my stomach and my scar, sending ripples of sensation all over me.
“Do you...” he pauses and I search his face. He’s not looking at me on purpose. I have a feeling that whatever he’s getting ready to say, it’s the thing he’s needed to say since he got here. It’s the thing he couldn’t say in the kitchen, and it’s something that’s been lingering with him. “Do you see me differently now?” he asks.
He glances at me hesitantly, but I don’t get his meaning.
“Because of before,” he clarifies.
Ah. “The fallen man,” I say, understanding now, but his face falls and I instantly regret it.
“I really, really wish I could go back and do things differently,” he says. “Not... being with you. That I’d keep.” I feel a warm flush slide over my body. “But I wish I could go back and not be with her. I should’ve broken up with her before. It wasn’t fair to her and she didn’t deserve to be with someone who wasn’t really with her. And she really didn’t deserve... you know.”
God, this is eating him up. I knew it would.
“And now... now I’m always going to be that guy.”
I sigh. There’s no easy fix to this, but I can’t stand that he’s re-writing who he thinks he is. “Jack—”
“Don’t try to tell me it wasn’t a big deal,” he says firmly.
“I wasn’t going to,” I say, just as firmly. “It was stupid. Awful. I wish I could take it back, too.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he says, frowning.
“Yes, I did.” He looks ready to argue with me, but I hold up my hand to stop him. “Hey, you feel bad, and I feel bad, because it was bad. It was.” I lower my hand, resting it on his chest now. “And you’re never going to look back on that and think it was okay. We fucked up.”
“I fucked up.”
I sigh. “I can see you’re determined to beat yourself up over it. Well, that’s fine. Maybe you need to do that for a while. But at some point you’re going to have to let it be in your past. You’re going to have to move on. And you’re going to have to allow yourself to understand that one moment, even a moment like that, doesn’t necessarily change everything else about you.”
“I really hate that I did that.”
“I know, sweetheart. I hate it, too.”
“I feel like....” he brings his fingertips up to my cheek, and watches as he strokes it. “Like I don’t deserve to be happy now.”
His eyes meet mine, and even in the middle of a conversation like this, there’s that swept away feeling again. I swear to god, I really don’t know if I can handle this. I feel like if I don’t hang on to something with both hands, it’s going to tear me to shreds. But I don’t know what the fuck to hang on to.
But there’s one thing I know, and that’s this: if anyone deserves to be happy, it’s Jack.
“You can be happy,” I say. “It’s okay. I promise. It doesn’t make you a horrible person. Emily’s going to go on and live her life and do all kinds of things and have happiness and sorrow that has nothing to do with you. Her life doesn’t revolve around you now. She’s just... going to go on and live her life because that’s what people do. That’s what you have to do, too.”
“But...” His hand stills, warm and soft on my cheek. There’s so much pain in his voice and on his face. My heart just breaks. “Do you see me differently now?”
I shake my head slowly. I do see him differently now, but not for the reason he thinks. “No, sweetie. I don’t see you differently.”
“You promise?”
God, Jack. Stop this. I bring my hand to his cheek and caress him gently. His eyes lock on mine, hurting and desperate. “I promise,” I say. He blinks at me, his expression unchanged.
I slowly scoot closer to him and hold his face in my hand. I give him a gentle kiss. “I promise,” I whisper.
His expression starts to soften. He’s giving way, but not there yet. I kiss him again, and this time I linger. I put every ounce of love I feel for this man into that kiss. My own tenderness surprises me. I didn’t know I had it in me. I swear, I didn’t.
I pull away, and there’s what I wanted to see. He believes me now. “I promise,” I say again, holding his eyes.
His arms come around me, one hand on the back of my head. He brings me to him for a kiss, and this time, he’s the one in control. He kisses me firmly, deeply and I kiss him back. He overpowers me. It’s crazy how quickly it happens.
Still kissing me, he rolls me onto my back, his weight on top of me. His hardness is gentle and firm against my thigh. He’s gentle and firm on me everywhere. He pulls away and looks at me, his hand stroking my cheek. “I do want to be happy,” he says. “I want to be happy with you, Sam.”
My heart’s pounding out of my chest. I’m scared, I want to say, but he’s pulling, pulling, pulling and I’m going right along.
“Is that all right?” he asks quietly, those eyes holding me.
I give a slight nod, terrified, then kiss him. Because even though he terrifies me, there’s so much comfort in him, too.
Chapter 18
Jack
The next morning, in the shadowy ligh
t of pre-dawn, I wake for a few seconds, aware of only two things. One, I’m happy. I’m indescribably, unworthily, helplessly, sky-over-the-moon happy. Two, Sam is doing something I’ve never seen her do. She’s sleeping in almost the same position we fell asleep in last night. She’s not throwing her arms and legs all over the place, tossing and turning like she usually does. This woman always sleeps like there’s something a bit restless inside of her. But not this time.
No.
Sam is tucked into my arms, her head nestled on my shoulder and one arm over my stomach. Her presence washes clean over me and my heart swells right out of my chest. I close my eyes and settle in deeper, drawing my arms more snugly around her beautiful, naked body. I fall back asleep with a smile on my face.
I’m destined to wake up with a smile on my face, too, thanks to Sam. This time—it must be an hour or so later based on the light in the room—Sam’s sitting up and straddling my thighs. She’s running her hands down my chest, then slowly lower to my stomach, then slowly lower to my...
“Ho there,” I say sleepily, my eyebrows raising.
She grins at me and my heart starts pumping. My cock’s already pumping. She gives me a devious look.
“What are you up to, missy?” I say, waking rapidly.
“The question is, what are you up to?” She’s already got the base of my hard cock in one hand, and is shimmying her gorgeous, naked body down my legs so she can lean over my shaft. Well, good morning.
I open my mouth to say something clever, but fuck if I know what it was because she just put her wet mouth over my head and somehow manages to suck on the tip in pulses as she takes me in deeper and deeper.
I drop my head to the pillow and exhale long and deep, rubbing my hand on her shoulder. She comes back up, again doing god-knows-what to make my rod feel like that.
It’s not that I’m exactly surprised that Sam knows what to do with the business end of my dick, but good lord.
She cups and squeezes the tip of my cock with one hand, then gently lifts my sack with the other. “I—” Again, thought obliterated as she takes my balls into her warm, wet mouth. I open my legs a bit to give her more room to work. As a thank you, she works me up so well I don’t even know where I am. It’s only Sam sucking my balls, expertly working my shaft with her hands, licking and sucking my cock, back to taking my balls in her mouth, back to my dick. Oh, god, this woman is perfection.
She’s been taking me deep, but when I feel her open up and take me clear into the back of her throat, she damn near makes me shoot my load right then. This is a rare treat, let me tell you, because most girls find my length way too much to handle properly.
“Fuck, Sam.”
I look down and watch her gorgeous mouth working my shaft and it’s all I can do to keep it together. But her pretty little ass is sticking up in the air and I want it. And I mean now.
“Get up here, woman,” I say thickly.
My dick still in her mouth, she manages to look up at me and give me a devious grin. She brings her mouth up to the tip, deposits an extra amount of saliva, and slides back down so slick while sucking me firmly.
My head falls back on the pillow again and I angle my hips slightly toward her mouth. Damn. I know what she wants. She’s determined to make me come, but I know what I want too. I want my cock in that glorious pussy of hers this minute. When she comes back up to the head, I hook my hands under her biceps, pulling her firmly toward me. She grins at me again—god, she’s so damned sexy—and slowly starts crawling up my body.
“Whatever do you want?” she asks innocently, aiming herself right over my erect cock and wiggling her ass.
“Big tease,” I say and she grins. But I need her right now. She knows it, too. “Where the fuck are the condoms?” We cleaned out the supply in my wallet last night.
“Nightstand,” she says. I look over, grateful to see the drawer’s within reach. As I pull out the box, she’s back to stroking my cock with both of her hands. I tear open the package and start to put the condom on but she takes over, using one hand after another to roll it all the way down. She’s not just putting it on, she’s stroking me and squeezing me and threatening to send me into heaven.
My eyes rake over her. I take in her perfect breasts, the sexy curve of her stomach, the pink lips of her sex. Since she’s still straddling me, she’s hovering right above my thighs. When she’s done and starting to climb back up and into position, I grab her hips and bring her the rest of the way, slowly inserting my cock into her warm, tight pussy. I close my eyes and groan.
“Is that what you wanted?” she asks, starting to ride me slow and glorious.
“Fuck, yes.”
I open my eyes so I can watch her watching me. It goes straight to my heart. God, this woman. I run my hands down her beautiful breasts, her soft stomach, her sweet mound. I see my cock going in and out of her. I still can’t get over how deep she’s able to take me. I thrust up to meet her, but she’s controlling the rhythm and it’s driving me mad. I could climax any minute, but I hold out. Ladies first.
My hand is still just above her mound. I lower it and use one finger to tease her little bud. Her eyes flutter shut and her breasts heave. She tightens around my dick. That’s right, darlin’.
I bring my finger to my tongue and taste her sweet juices as I deposit a generous dollop of saliva on the tip of my finger. I go back to her clit, slick as I rub her now. She throws her head back, arching her back. She’s breathing heavy and losing control. “Damn you, Jack,” she whispers, and I grin.
She glances at me, a sexy look of determination in her eyes. Still riding me, she shimmies her knees a little further apart so she can take me even deeper, then she slowly leans backwards until she’s resting her hands on the bed behind her. My cock tightens even more, and I can feel every ridge of her as she rubs against me, her tits in the air.
Fuck. My breathing is ragged and I’m right there on the edge. I’ve never had to fight so hard to control myself like I’ve had to with her, and here I am again, ready to blow my wad first like an untrained teenager. But she’s so goddamned sexy and feels so incredible and I love her so fucking much she’s driving me wild.
I manage to keep it together though, as she rocks on me harder and faster now. She’s whimpering and groaning and clamping hard on my dick. Keeping one hand strumming her hard, engorged clit, my other hand roams everywhere I can: along her thigh, over her stomach, cupping and squeezing her breasts, rolling her hard nipples between my fingers.
She sits up then, her beautiful face flushed and full of ecstasy—I adore that look on her—and comes to me. Her chest presses against me and her mouth joins mine. I hold her tight, ramming my cock into her harder and faster now that my hips are unpinned. Again she whimpers, but I kiss her hard, diving deep and needing her. She’s kissing me urgently too.
Our mouths break apart. Her breaths are coming in jagged intervals, her chest is flushed hot, and her pussy is tight and pulsing. I know she’s almost there. As I start kissing and suckling her soft neck, I get a glimpse of her bare ass in the air. I smack it hard. Again, harder. She climaxes, gasping and convulsing over me, her pussy squeezing rhythmically. I continue to pump my cock into her, drawing her orgasm out as she whimpers again and again. Only when she starts to release and pant for breath do I let my body go. I press my hand against the small of her back, pressing her harder against me as I thrust into her furiously. All the pleasure I’ve been reigning in rushes to a high, hot peak. She gasps with pleasure and I shoot my load at last, every muscle in my body flexing and my forehead tucked down and pressed against her shoulder. As she orgasms, her pussy is contracting so hard, it feels like it’s sucking on me, determined to milk every last drop out of my cock.
God, she’s perfection. She blows the 1 to 10 scale clear out of the fucking water.
When it’s over and we’re panting weakly on the bed, I say, “That’s one way to wake me up.”
“I had to sneak attack you,” she says breathlessly
, “before you made me all loopy again.”
“Huh?” I ask, giving her a dopey grin. I can’t help it.
“I had to prove I’m not completely useless in bed.”
“Darlin, if the other times were your version of useless, I am one lucky bastard.”
It’s past time for Sam to start getting ready for work, yet here we still are. I have a meeting with a client this morning, too. I have just enough time to dash home, take a quick shower, and get my tail to the coffee house.
I lean over Sam anyway, drinking in her smell and her kiss and her amazing body. She wraps her legs around my waist and I know I’m sunk. The only question is, do I text my client that I need to reschedule before or after I make Sam mine again? But it’s a big client and I really shouldn’t.
My hand goes to one of her ample breasts and squeezes. “Jack,” she breathes. My cock pulses hot at the sound of her saying my name. “Work,” she whispers.
I know she’s right. We have to stop. I groan, ducking my head down to the crook of her neck and sucking gently. God, she tastes good.
We hear the rattling of a lock and the front door open.
We jolt apart and look at one another for half a second. She scrambles that lovely, naked body out of bed, nearly getting caught up in the covers. I grin at her.
“Sam?” Ashley’s voice calls. Sam dashes toward her closet and I climb out of bed, bending down for my clothes. “Jack?” I realize my truck parked out front is a dead giveaway.
“Yo!” I answer. Sam glares at me as she disappears into the closet, but I can only grin back as I step into my briefs.
By the time Ashley makes an appearance at the bedroom door, I’ve hitched up my jeans. As she was coming down the hall, she was saying, “I put the peaches on the—” but when she sees me she halts, wide-eyed.
“Hey Ashley, babe,” I say, buttoning the top button and zipping the zipper.