I turned to leave and pushed down my feelings; it would only prevent me from doing what I had to. I gathered up a pile of rags by the door; earlier I had hidden some supplies in it, a few of my prized possessions: a seashell, a bracelet my brother had given me for my tenth birthday, and a rock from inside the tunnel. Just outside our chamber, there was a set of stairs that Celia had found led down to the stables. She had met Owen there the night before for a private moment. While she had been out, I had sent a message to Lord Herrondell. We had agreed to meet at the dock.
I slipped out of our room and kept my head low. The guards posted at the door didn’t stop me; they assumed I was Celia carrying my bundle for washing. I held my breath as I walked down the hall, expecting them to realize and stop me. I was fortunate Celia and I were of similar build, and the guards were at ease. They did not suspect anyone coming out of the chamber. They were trying to stop those going in.
I was lucky Owen wasn’t on duty. Otherwise he would have wanted to flirt with me, thinking I was Celia. I hurried down the servants’ stairs. When I was well out of sight, I tossed the linens into a niche and tucked my possessions into a pocket of my gown. The door at the back of the inn was made of wood and creaked as I opened it. It might as well have shouted my location out to anyone nearby. The stables were empty but for our horses and a few grooms who were playing dice in the corner. The smell of horse flooded my nostrils, and it was a welcome scent. I looked over to my gelding, Shadow; he was stabled nearby. He looked up when I entered and flicked his ears. If only I could bring you, it would make the going easier, but riding off might raise the alarm. I’ll have to go on foot.
I sighed. I went over to him to stroke his velvet nose. Shadow stared at me with big brown eyes. He was a smoky gray color with a white star on his forehead. He had been my brother’s last gift to me after he took the throne. I learned to ride on Shadow. I’ve dreamed of running away so many times, but I never realized how much I would leave behind.
One of the grooms looked up at me. “Is there something you need, my lady?”
“No,” I said with a shake of my head. I petted Shadow once more before heading for the door out of the stable. I kept to the back of the building, and as I came out from the shadows cast by the inn, I was blinded by the early morning light. I shielded my eyes and looked across the rolling hills. The village smith was nearby. I could hear the ring of the hammer upon the anvil. A farmer bringing in a cart full of cabbage whistled as he walked by. A mother and child strolled down the street hand in hand. I marveled at their simple lives. They wore rough-spuns and their hands were dirty and their shoes were worn.
As the villagers passed me by, they gave me only a quick glance. I was an anomaly, a stranger in their small world, but nothing more. There were no whispers and no fake smiles. I laughed. It just bubbled out of me. This is what freedom tastes like. I ran down the street, and no one told me not to. I passed by houses that lined the shore, fishermen’s cottages most like. I could hear the ocean calling out to me. Gulls cried overhead as they dived and twirled through the sky. I laughed harder and louder. I could see some fishermen out in the bay. Their sails were white specks against the blue sky.
I headed down to the docks teeming with activity. Sailors bustled back and forth. Some carried lengths of rope wound over their shoulders, others heaved large crates, and some rolled barrels up gangplanks onto the ships. The ships themselves were bigger close up. I had seen my fair share of ships in my life. Danhad boasted the most impressive navy in the three kingdoms. I had never been on a ship, however, just seen them from the cliff tops of the palace gardens that overlooked our harbor. In his message to me, Lord Herrondell had mentioned a particular ship by which we were supposed to meet. I was not sure where it was docked, so I went to ask.
I approached a sailor standing at the end of a gangplank. He had a roll of parchment in hand and he was making marks on it as men carrying supplies passed by.
“Excuse me, sir,” I said.
He did not look up as he grumbled, “What do you want, woman?”
“I’m looking for a ship called the Mermaid Song,” I replied.
He laughed. “There ain’t no ship by that name here.”
He looked over his parchment at me with a lascivious grin. I took a step back and crossed my hands over my chest. “If you’re looking for passage, I can be persuaded to let you come on board my Sea Breeze.” He jabbed a thumb in the direction of his ship.
I took a step back. “No, thank you, I have someone else to meet.”
He snatched at my wrist. “Whatever they’re paying you, I’ll give you double.”
I wrenched my hand free. “No one is paying me anything.” I could hardly get the words to pass my lips. Normally I would not hesitate to be crude, but something about the way he looked at me with lust in his eyes made me feel filthy.
He looked me up and down. “You’re dressed too fine for a sea wench. Well, away with you. I have no time for your nonsense.”
I turned and hurried in the other direction, eager to put as much space between us as I could.
I went down the pier and spoke to a few more men along the way. The exchanges went much the same; none of them had heard of the ship Mermaid Song.
Dejected, I went to the pier’s edge and sat down. Where do I go now? I cannot return to the inn. I refuse.
“My lady, I’m glad I found you!”
I startled to find a man standing beside me. He was average looking, brown hair cut short, a plain face, wearing the livery of a Danhadine royal guard. There was something about his accent; though faint, it seemed familiar. Though he wore the uniform, he did not seem familiar to me.
I stood up and clenched my fists. “I will not go back. I refuse.”
There were two other soldiers with him. They too seemed unfamiliar. Why have I never seen them before? It was possible they were Idella’s guards and I had never noticed them, or they had joined our group and I was too miserable to pay attention. He held his hand out for me. “Please, Your Highness, this is not a safe place for a lady. These men have no morals, and I fear for your safety.”
“I am perfectly capable of fending for myself,” I retorted. I glanced briefly to my feet where the dagger was concealed.
“I am certain you are, Your Highness, but now it is time to go.”
I had nowhere to run as he grabbed me hard by the elbow. He yanked me gently and marched me away from the edge of the pier. Aunt Idella must have learned about my plan to escape and delayed Lord Herrondell. I was a fool to think it would be this easy.
“You can let go,” I said. “I will not run.” I tried to remove my elbow from his grip, but he was deceptively strong for his size.
He smiled. “I know you will not run, but the docks are a dangerous place. There are all sorts of ruffians who would harm a pretty creature like yourself.”
As he said this, two other guards fell into step behind me. They were huge, with arms the size of tree trunks and big square chins covered in coarse dark beards. I glanced at them over my shoulder and realized they both had the same beady black eyes; they may very well have been brothers.
I knew right away something was wrong. Instead of heading back to the inn, he pulled me away from the dock and down an alleyway. My mind was spinning. These were not royal guards.
“Who are you, really?”
He laughed. “You catch on quick, my dear. Names are not necessary; this will all be over soon.”
A stone sank in my stomach. “Whatever it is you want, I will give it to you, just let me go.” I tried to pull away again, but one of the massive men put a meaty hand on my shoulder.
“Just come along, Princess,” said the plain man.
The alley was flanked by two wooden buildings. It was dark and full of crates stacked high and piles of fishing nets and torn sails.
“Tie her up,” said the man, and the giant guards each grabbed an arm and spun me around. I struggled, but they were much stronger than me. My attempts at
kicking and punching them felt like slamming into granite. Then over the shoulder of the plain man, I saw a shadow creeping towards us. He had his back to the mouth of the alley and did not notice.
I kicked at my guards and caught one of them at the knee. He grunted and swore. I bent down and pulled back my skirts, fumbling for the dagger hidden there. I managed to wrench it free just as the figure who had crept into the alley after us hit the plain man over the head with a fist. The plain man crumpled to the ground. One of the guards rushed forward and grappled with the newcomer. The remaining goon held onto one of my arms, which he tried to twist behind my back. I stood up with my dagger and slashed it at him. I caught him on the forearm, and blood bloomed where I had slashed him, and ran in rivulets down his arm onto his hands.
“You bitch,” he snarled and twisted my arm. I felt a pop and I cried out. The dagger fell and clattered to the ground. He grabbed me by both shoulders and shook me. My brain rattled about in my skull as he dropped me to the ground. As I fell, the guard spun around and roared.
Mat had a blade in hand dipped in blood. He grimaced at the guard, teeth bared in a terrifying expression. There was fire in his eyes and a deadly calm that frightened me.
“Let the girl go, or I will run you through,” he said, rumbling deep in his throat.
The guard looked to his companions, one unconscious and one presumably dead. A pool of blood spread out beneath the first guard.
The guard raised his hands above his head and knelt in front of Mat. He saved me even after I insulted his people. I do not know why, but that was the most surprising thing of all. Mat tied up the guard before turning to me.
“Are you hurt?” he asked as he looked me up and down.
I looked down and realized I was splattered with the guard’s blood. I shook my head; I seemed to be deprived of speech.
“Good, we wouldn’t want to cause a war if we lost our princess, now would we?”
His words felt like a cold bucket of water over me.
“No, that would not do at all.”
For a brief moment I thought he was different, that he had come to save me. My only worth was in what I could do for our nations, and now I had lost my last chance to break free. If Lord Herrondell had been caught, then I had no choice but to marry Mathias.
Chapter 7
I rolled over in my lumpy cot. My failed attempt at escape had won me a long lecture from Aunt Idella about the importance of my marriage to Mathias and what it meant to be a princess. It was nothing new, not really, but I could not sleep just the same. My mind kept circling back to Mat. Every time I closed my eyes I saw him laughing. I saw his dark eyes watching me, running over my body, not the way the sailor’s had but different. He looked at me as an artist surveyed a canvas. There’s no point; I am promised to Mathias. He would not dare cross his leader’s son. That is why he came to save me. Even hoping that he had come to my rescue for anything other than that was dangerous, and it would only lead to disappointment. I needed a distraction from my thoughts. I rolled over again towards Celia. She was crying softly a few feet away.
“Celia, I’m sorry,” I whispered to her in the dark.
She sniffled but did not respond. She was cross with me, and perhaps she had every right to be.
I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I had known for a long time that I had a sharp tongue. It was easier to keep people at a distance than to let them get too close and have them hurt me. I don’t want to marry Mathias. If it was up to me, I would be living in a hut by the sea, as a fisherwoman selling my clams and making necklaces out of seashells. I sighed. I sat up and swung my feet over the edge of my cot. The ground was covered in carpets; I wriggled my toes against them as I decided what to do next. I got up and paced the tent. We were days from the coast now. My guards had been increased, and I was never alone. They were strangling me with protection. If I did not marry Mathias, then all their plans fell apart. There would be no second chance at escape. Lord Herrondell continued on with our party, but I had not had a chance to get a message to him. I still did not know what had happened back at the fishing village. I walked back and forth like a caged animal. My fists opened and closed reflexively.
Celia sat up and leaned on her elbow. “Go to bed, Edalene. Pacing won’t solve anything.”
I stopped and looked at her. “Don’t you think I know that?” The words came out sharper than I intended. She sniffled again and lay back down with her back to me.
I rubbed the heels of my hands against my face. I don’t deserve love because I hurt everyone around me. She is only concerned about my well-being. I gave up and went back to my cot. I lay staring at the canopy of the tent for some time, listening to the muttered conversations around the camp, the whinny of the horses and the wind blowing against the walls of my tent. Then I heard voices just outside the tent.
“I heard the princess was attacked by men pretending to be Danhadine soldiers. How is that possible?” whispered a man.
“They stole uniforms from the inn. Some of the boys had gone for a swim and left them behind. Someone bribed the innkeeper, I heard.”
The first man whistled. “Seems like an awful lot of trouble.”
“Well, they couldn’t poison her; they’d never get past the tasters.”
I gasped and tried to stifle it behind my hand. I looked over to Celia. She had her eyes open. She had heard as well. I have tasters? Who would want to poison me? My hands were shaking as I lowered them from my mouth. Is someone trying to kill me? Why? I desperately wanted to reach out for Celia, but I was equally afraid of revealing my own weakness. I rolled over and tried to pretend that I had not heard the guards’ conversation. Their words pounded in my ears. Someone was trying to kill me.
The journey after that was long and tedious. The farther we traveled from the sea, I felt I lost another bit of myself. I had always lived beside the ocean. It was difficult to sleep at night without the roar of the waves. I longed for the scent of salt and even missed the faint stench of fish. I woke with nightmares most nights. I dreamed of faceless men attacking me in the night. And of poison slipped in my food, which turned me purple and black. I died clutching at my throat with the entire court pointing and laughing at me. I had always thought myself fearless, but for the first time I was glad for my guards.
I kept a watchful eye out for assassins as we rode. I had surmised that my killer was trying to stop my marriage to Mathias. It would be in Neaux and even Jerauch interest to prevent the union. It gave a lot of power to Danhad, the potential for an unmatched fighting force.
“A girl as pretty as you should not make such an expression,” Mat said. He had ridden up next to me without my noticing.
I scowled at him and he laughed. I had been trying to keep my distance from him. When I was not worrying about murder threats, I was thinking about him.
“That is not much better.” He grinned. My stomach did a nervous flop.
“Won’t you upset your elder by flirting with me?” I asked him with a haughty lift of my chin. Just leave me be. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but we both know it does not end well. “I’m sure in your culture you have different traditions, but I have found men are often possessive of their property.”
He frowned, which was an expression that did not suit his face. “Do you really think of yourself as property?”
I tossed my head and the wind caught my ebony curls. “Absolutely not. But that is what I am to my king. My womb shall birth the next king. That is all I am good for, to bear sons for the man my king has chosen for me.” I could not hide the bitterness from my tone.
He shook his head. “I think you are worth much more than that.” He reached across with something in his hand. “This is for you.”
With some hesitation, I outstretched my hand. He dropped a perfect scallion shell into it. The inside was streaked with pinks, orange and silver like a morning sunrise.
“Why?” I managed to choke that much out.
“I saw how you look
ed at the ocean. I thought you might want to bring a bit of it back with you to Reglabal.”
I held it to my chest. My heart was beating rapidly. He winked at me before digging his heels into the sides of his mount and shot down the line to rejoin the other Biski men.
Celia saw our interchange and peeked over. “That was kind of him.”
I nodded. Kind and foolish. He must realize this flirting can lead nowhere. I belong to another man. I thought of his words again. I am promised to another; I am no man’s property. That is something I will remember.
I could not get Mat out of my head. He was my last thought before I fell asleep and my first thought upon waking. He even managed to push aside thoughts of a murder plot. After he gave me the shell, however, I was more determined than ever to stay away from him. I had seen what infatuation had done to my brother, and I dared not let the same happen to me. I was lying on my back, the shell held above me. I was admiring the swirling colors of the pearlescent interior of the shell when Celia came in. Her face was flushed, and I suspected she had been with Owen.
“Hurry and get dressed before your aunt returns,” she said breathlessly.
I sat up and hid the seashell under my pillow. Her eyes flickered in that direction and a smile curled her lips.
I ignored her knowing smile and said, “Celia, what are you talking about?”
“I convinced Owen to help me sneak you out so you can see Mat.”
I flushed as I jumped to my feet. “I do not want to see him!”
“Sure you do. You’ve been moping around here for days. I’ve seen how you stare at that shell he gave you. We’ve got one day before we arrive in Reglabal. This may be your last chance to tell him how you feel before you have to marry Mathias.”
I tried to scowl at Celia in an attempt to dissuade her from this plan. But I turned away first instead. “There’s nothing I need to say to him.”
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