by C. C. Hunter
“The nurse came out and said the surgery is going well.”
I start to introduce her to Melissa, but she continues, “Thank God.” She closes her eyes for a second and looks exhausted.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Just still shaking.” She grips her hands together.
“Me, too,” I say.
She looks at her phone. “The police called. They’re finally leaving my house.”
“They stayed there?”
“They said they had to collect evidence and take pictures.” Kelsey does a sweep of the room and frowns. “Where’s his family?”
I look over at Melissa sitting beside me. “This is Dex’s sister, Melissa.”
Kelsey’s eyes widen with surprise, but she recovers quickly.
Melissa leans in. “You must be Kelsey? Dex has mentioned you.”
“Melissa lives in California with her mom,” I say while Kelsey wraps her head around this.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Kelsey says. “I’m so sorry. I don’t even know why he was there.”
“It’s not on you,” Melissa says. “Jacob, Dex, and I had gone out to dinner. He dropped me off at Dad’s house first and was pulling out of Jacob’s driveway when he saw someone breaking into your front window.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“He woke up right before they took him into surgery and told me. Jacob called me as soon as he realized what happened. I came straight here, and Jacob met me.” She looks up at the clock on the wall. “He should be back anytime. He went to pick up another friend.”
The door swishes open again, and I see Hayden being pushed into the room in a wheelchair. His gaze meets mine, and I pull in air a little too quickly. I remember it was his call that woke me up. That Bessie had gone to him when she couldn’t pull me out of the deep sleep. I recall him being able to hear Bessie talking to me over the phone.
I’m going to have to explain things. I just don’t know how.
Jacob parks Hayden in front of Kelsey and drops into the chair beside me. “Have you heard anything?” he asks, staring at my eye.
I feel Hayden doing the same.
Melissa leans forward to see Jacob. “The nurse came out and said his surgery is going really well. It’s not as bad as they thought.”
“Great.” Jacob sinks into the chair. Then his gaze shifts back to me, to my black eye. “You okay?” While the question alludes to concern, his tight-lipped expression misses that mark.
“It’s just a black eye,” I say.
“What really happened? Did this have to do with the gang members you were hanging out with? I told you they were dangerous. And now look what happened.”
“Hey,” Hayden says as if calling Jacob out.
I find my voice. “This doesn’t have anything to do with—”
Kelsey plows into the conversation. “Don’t you go accusing someone of something until you get your freaking facts straight!” She points a finger at Jacob. “That guy has nothing to do with a gang. He’s my mom’s ex-boyfriend. She has a restraining order against him. And the reason Riley got that black eye was because she tried to stop Charles from hitting me.” Her voice is too loud. “If you want to blame someone for this, blame my mom or even me. But you leave Riley out of this!”
Tension swirls around us. “It’s not anyone’s fault but Charles’s,” I say.
Jacob scrubs an apologetic hand over his face. His gaze meets mine. “I’m sorry. I’m just… That was wrong. I’m just worried. I almost lost one friend”—he looks at Hayden—“and now this happens.”
“I think we all need to just breathe,” Melissa says. “And the nurse said things looked good. Let’s hold on to that.”
Jacob looks away, but Hayden’s gaze stays on me. Is he worried about seeing Bessie? Or is he wondering about my gang affiliation? Does he remember he was part of it, too?
The door swishes open again. This time it’s Dad. He starts over, big heavy footsteps, bringing another confrontation to my face. I’m emotionally trying to figure out how to avoid it when he stops halfway across the room. Our eyes meet. He motions for me to come to him. I don’t want to. I really don’t want to. I feel everyone staring at Dad, then at me. The last thing I want is to have it out with Dad with an audience.
“I’ll be right back.” I shoot up.
Right as I pass Dad, I hear Hayden ask, “That’s her dad, right?”
The door whooshes open with my one-palm push. Dad’s footfalls follow me. I keep walking, wishing I could just keep going. If I ran away again, would he notice this time?
Stopping, I turn to face Dad. My heart pumps faster, and my eye throbs harder. There’s still a tiny part of me that wants to lean in and beg him to hold me, to make me feel protected. I don’t, because my anger outweighs my need for safety.
“Is he still in surgery?” Dad sounds less angry than he did on the phone, but frustration clips his words.
I nod and hug myself. The cold is from the dead, but I refuse to even look. I’m afraid to look. Afraid it might be…Dex. And I can’t accept that.
“You can stay here,” he says. “But I’m staying with you.”
The cold brushes past. I lift my chin. “I don’t need you.” My words sound so bitter, but I guess I am.
Dad flinches. His expression tugs at my heartstrings, but I won’t show it.
“Maybe you don’t need me, but I need to be here. I love you, Riley. I love you with every ounce of my being. And until you’re a parent, you won’t understand.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand. You lied about my mother! Just leave. Please.” Tears climb up my throat, and I blink, fast, then faster, hoping to keep them at bay.
I expect his anger, I think I even want his anger, so I’ll feel more justified, but it isn’t anger filling his expression. It’s hurt. “I won’t sit with you. But I’m staying.”
I swallow hard. “It could be a while, and even then, I’m not leaving Kelsey alone tonight.”
“She is more than welcome to come to our house. You two can go to your room, and we can talk about our issues tomorrow.” He drops his hands into his pockets, his chin falls to his chest, and it’s several seconds before he lifts his head up.
I’m about to head back when he says, “I spoke to the lead officer who was at Kelsey’s. I’m sorry for accusing you of… I was scared, and I hear so much about teenagers and drugs, but I was still wrong to assume the worst.”
I agree but don’t say anything.
“It’ll be hard sleeping at Kelsey’s house tonight after what happened there,” Dad says. “Get her to come and stay at our house.”
An image of Dex falling to the floor fills my mind, and chills chase more chills down my spine. I draw in a short, sharp breath.
“I’ll ask Kelsey.”
I walk away. I can’t deny Dad’s behaving like my old Dad—reasonable, considerate, sane—but he still lied about Mom. And no amount of playing nice is going to change that.
Time crawls by, ten minutes, thirty, an hour. Dad sits across the room, head hung down, sleeping. Hayden, Melissa, Jacob, and Kelsey offer small talk to ease the tense silence. I’m too scared of seeing Dex appear to pretend everything is okay. Every few minutes, I catch Hayden staring at me, and I swear I can see the questions in his eyes. Probably about Bessie. About us.
Finally, a doctor walks out of the door in the back. His expression is reassuring. We all jump up to meet him. Even Hayden stands up. It takes him a few seconds before he appears stable on his feet. His shoulders square off, and I know it’s pride. Somehow I’m able to smile at him. He smiles back.
After giving us a report that Dex should make a full recovery, the doctor explains that two people can go back to see him.
Hayden speaks up, turning to Jacob. “Why don’t you and Melissa go back first?”
As Melissa and Jacob leave, Hayden’s gaze shifts to me. Kelsey, as if sensing he wants to talk to me, says, “I think I’ll go pretend to pee.”<
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Alone with Hayden, the room seems extra quiet. He carefully takes a few more steps and sits in the chair. I sit beside him. “Look at you walking.”
“I know.” His soft gaze meets mine. “Does your eye hurt?”
“Not too bad.” I glance over at the Hispanic mother and son silently waiting to hear about their loved one. Then Dad, asleep in the chair across the room, lets out a light snore.
“Like father like daughter.” Hayden’s smile fades, and he leans in. “How do I know you make a soft buzzing noise when you sleep?” He pushes his palms onto his jean-covered thighs. “You weren’t joking when you hinted that I left my body, were you?”
I bite down on my lip before answering. “No.”
“And you could… You could see me?” His voice lowers. “Like a ghost. Like I see Bessie?”
I nod.
“But I wasn’t dead? So how…?” His question rumbles out.
“I could still see your spirit. But I thought you were a ghost at first.”
He stares down as if trying to take it all in. “How can you do that? See…?”
“I don’t know. One day it just happened.”
He sits there. I see the wheels in his head turning. “And we spent a lot of time together, didn’t we?”
“Yeah.”
He hesitates, then says, “Kelsey’s grandmother. She was really there? At the hospital and then at my house. You can see her, too, right? I heard her on the phone, didn’t I?”
I nod.
He squeezes the armrests of his chair. “This doesn’t freak you out?”
“Sometimes,” I answer honestly.
He looks across the room. “Does Kelsey know?”
“Yeah.” I lace and unlace my fingers, feeling edgy.
He sits back. “Do you think it has something to do with your dad being a mortician? Can he see…?”
“I don’t think it has anything to do with it. He doesn’t even know that I can see them.”
“But Kelsey sees her grandmother, right?”
“No.”
“Then why can I?”
I feel the slow throb of my bruised eye. “I don’t know. I’ve read that a near-death experience can…make someone closer to the spiritual world.”
“Did you have a near-death experience?”
“No.” I see Dad stir. He opens his eyes and looks at me talking to Hayden. As if content I’m still here, he closes his eyes again.
Hayden continues, “I don’t understand.”
“I stopped trying to.” I lower my voice to a soft whisper. “Like I said, one day I was just able to see them.”
“Them?” He inhales. “You can see…others?”
“Yeah.”
He pushes a hand over his face. “Do you know how hard this is to believe?”
“Yeah.”
He cups his knees in his hands and squeezes. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“I tried, but…”
“I thought you were joking,” he finishes for me. His eyes widen again. “Crap. Annie? It’s true. She saw me.”
I nod.
“How could she see me?”
“I don’t know, but she was really sick. So maybe it’s the near-death thing.” I almost tell him he was willing to die for her but decide it might be too much.
“You should have told me earlier.”
“Maybe, but I thought it’d be easier if you started remembering things.”
His mouth thins. “Well, let me know when it’s supposed to get easy.”
When Jacob and Melissa come out, they say the nurse insisted Dex needed rest and no more visitors. “He’s in a lot of pain.” Worry tightens Melissa’s frown.
The same worry curls up inside me and chips away at the assurance the doctor gave us about his recovery.
Dad drives us to Kelsey’s to get our things and my car. No one says a word on the drive. When we walk into Kelsey’s bedroom, we both stop short at the sight of Dex’s blood pooled on the light pine floor.
“Oh, God!” Kelsey covers her mouth and swings around. Tears brighten her green eyes. “It’s my fault he got shot.”
“No,” I assure her.
“Okay, it’s my mom’s fault, but still… If he dies, I’m going to hate myself.” The crack in her voice is so apparent because she seldom cracks.
“He’s not going to die. You heard the doctor. He’s going to be fine.”
“Why did he have to try to be a hero? It was stupid. He should’ve waited for the police.”
“He wanted to help us.” And I can’t help but wonder if Charles wouldn’t have shot her if Dex hadn’t stormed in. I hug her. I hug her tight for longer than twenty seconds.
“Girls,” I hear Dad call out from the front of the house, and his footsteps bring him closer. We step out of the embrace and both draw in shaky breaths.
We turn around, and Dad moves in beside us. He looks down. “I was afraid of this.” He looks at me, then to Kelsey. “Are you okay to drive Riley’s car?”
“Why?” I say. “I can…”
“Your eye’s almost swollen shut.” His gaze shifts back to Kelsey.
“I can drive,” she offers.
“Then grab what you need and go to the house. I’ll clean this up. You got some paper towels and some cleaner?”
“We do, but you don’t have to do that,” she says, but relief sounds in her voice.
“It’s okay,” Dad offers in a sincere tone. “I’m… I’m fine doing it. Seriously, go.”
Dad earns himself another brownie point. But I’m not counting them right now.
Kelsey and I arrive at my house, and we go right up to my room, get into our pajamas, and crawl into bed. Pumpkin follows and curls up at my side.
We barely talk. It’s as if we know words won’t help. Kelsey falls asleep almost immediately, not that I blame her. It’s three in the morning. I lay there listening to the hum of Pumpkin’s purrs and try not to think about my mom, my dad, Dex, a murderer, and how Hayden is taking the whole ghost news.
I’m still awake, still trying not to think, when I hear Dad’s car pull into the driveway. I hear him come into the house and I listen as he walks up the stairs. He doesn’t open my bedroom door, but I know he’s there.
“I love you, Riley.” His whisper is barely audible. “I’m so sorry.”
I hug my pillow so tight it begs for mercy.
It’s after twelve the next morning when Kelsey’s phone rings and wakes us up. She pushes herself up and grabs her phone. Sleep impaired, I listen to see what’s going on.
“Hello?” Kelsey says. Pause. “Yeah. I’m fine. I’ll be there.”
I lean up on an elbow. “What?”
“My mom. The doctor who does his rounds around two has to sign her out. I need to be there to bring her home.” She pushes her hair back, then falls back to the mattress. “Are you going to school?”
I consider it. “No.” I exhale. “We’re going to miss our history test.”
“Ask me if I care?” She drops her arm over her eyes. Then turns and looks at me. “Do you think almost dying at the hands of your mom’s ex-boyfriend is an excusable absence?”
I chuckle. “I do.” I’m still pushing cobwebs from my brain when my phone dings with a text. I pull it from my nightstand.
“Who is it?” Kelsey asks mid-yawn.
“Hayden.” The text is long. I read the first paragraph and glance up with something close to a smile. “He spoke with Dex. He’s out of ICU and is doing better.”
“I’m still pissed he came in and got himself shot.”
“You really blame him?” I cut her a leery gaze.
“Yes. No. Can’t I just be pissed?”
“Okay.” I go back to reading Hayden’s text and say, “He wants to confirm I’m okay to take him to therapy this afternoon.”
“Are you going to do it?”
“Yes.”
She uses her foot to push the blanket off. “What did you two talk about when I went and t
ook a fake pee last night?”
“He’s figured most of it out.” I tell her about Bessie going to him to wake us up.
“She saved us,” Kelsey says, emotion in her voice, and then, “Hayden had to have been freaked out.”
“He was.”
“So what now?” she asks. “Is he dumping Brandy? Are you two back together?”
“I don’t have a clue.”
Her brow lifts. “So today should be interesting.”
“I guess so.” I stand up and move closer to my dresser and see my reflection in the mirror. My black eye isn’t quite as swollen or colorful as the one Candace gave me. I look back at Kelsey. “Too bad we can’t tell Charles that a girl gave me a worse black eye than he did.”
She chuckles, sits up, and yawns again. “People at school are going to think you’re a real badass now.”
“Yeah.” And it’s kind of amazing that I don’t care what they think. Not even a little bit. Then again, maybe I’ve just got too much on my plate. My mind switches to a mental to-do list.
Go back to the second Delicious Donuts and see if I can find if and where that old car disappeared in a parking lot. Which sends fear spiraling in my empty gut.
Take Hayden to therapy and answer his questions. And maybe even get the answer to Kelsey’s question. What’s he going to do about Brandy?
Figure out if or when I’m going to see Mom. Which, just thinking about it, makes me feel emotionally queasy.
Have that talk with Dad. Which stirs up feelings of anger. Is it possible I’m angrier at Dad for lying to me than I am at my mom for abandoning me? Yeah. I think I am. But probably because I love him more.
I move to my bedroom window to look out. Dad’s car isn’t there, and that makes me feel better because I don’t plan to check that off my list right now.
I also need… Turning, I face Kelsey again. “Are you going to see Dex? If so, I’ll follow you up there and see him then, too.”
“Yeah.” A frown pulls at her sleepy expression. “I just… I don’t know what the hell I’m going to say to him.” She kicks at the covers again. “I can’t imagine how pissed he’s going to be at me.”