by Wilde, Lori
“With Zach?”
Tears had formed in Edith’s eyes, and Suzannah felt her own eyes whelm up. “I don’t know. Asking Zach to take on the burden of a family is unfair. He’s a great guy, such a great guy that he would feel obligated to give up everything that means something to him to make us happy. Abby wants to become a vet, and I’ve realized it is unfair to ask another person to take on the financial burden.”
Her explanation seemed to startle Edith. “I don’t dislike Zach, and he seems like a man who wouldn’t mind. I do know he really loves Abby. He’d want to see her succeed.”
Suzannah nodded. “Yes, I know. But because he’s such a great guy, he would give up everything for Abby. I can’t ask him to do that.”
“But he’d want to,” Edith said. “It’s hard for me to see you with someone other than my son, but I will say that Zach seems like a good man. I know Keith thought he was a good guy.”
Suzannah couldn’t help smiling. Suddenly rather than lambasting Zach, Edith was defending him. But it didn’t matter. Suzannah had decided.
“He is a good guy, and that’s why I’ve decided we will just stay friends. I couldn’t ask him to take on this responsibility because I know he wouldn’t think twice about accepting it. I know he would gladly give up everything for Abby, and I can’t let him do it.”
Edith grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. “You know, Keith would hate that you feel this way. You’re pushing away love.”
Suzannah knew she was, and but it was because she loved Zach that she’d decided she needed to return to just being Zach’s friend.
It was the right thing to do for the man she loved.
* * *
Zach felt like a lurker sitting in his truck in front of Edith’s house waiting for her to come home. A brighter man might wait until tomorrow to talk to her, but he was feeling pressure to put this topic to rest.
He was about to give up and head home when Edith walked up. She saw him and waved. Even though it was getting dark, he could clearly see her expression.
She seemed excited to see him.
“I’m glad you’re here. I was going to call you tonight. You need to come inside so we can talk,” she said, hurrying up the path to her house and quickly unlocking the front door.
Of all the receptions he’d expected, this possibility had never crossed his mind. Edith seemed happy to see him.
Once they got inside, he cleared his throat, preparing to launch into all the reasons he wanted Edith to understand that his love for Suzannah in no way took away from what she’d shared with Keith, but he never got that far.
“Keith wants to pay for Abby’s college expenses. You can’t do it,” Edith said.
Zach didn’t mean to be impolite, but what in the blazes was she talking about. “I’m a little confused, Edith. I came here because I wanted to talk to you about Suzannah. I’m in love with her, and I know this is difficult for you to accept, but just because we’re in love doesn’t mean we still don’t love and miss Keith.”
Edith patted his arm. “I know. I realize that now.”
Relief flooded through Zach. The last thing he wanted to do was to cause Edith more pain. She’d been through so much these last few years.
“I’m glad,” he said. “Keith was a wonderful man who would want Suzannah to be happy.”
Edith nodded, then said, “But she won’t be happy. She’ll call things off with you.”
That couldn’t be true. When she left the ranch this afternoon, everything had been fine. In fact, it had been more than fine. Everything had been great.
“Why would she do that? I’m sorry if this upsets you, Edith, I truly am, but—”
Edith waved her hands and cut him off. “It’s not because of me. I realize that Keith would want her to be happy. It’s just hard.”
Zach nodded. “I know.”
“But that isn’t the problem,” she said. “She will break things off so that you don’t pay for Abby’s college tuition.”
Zach had to admit, he might not be the brightest star in the sky, but he hadn’t a clue what she was talking about. “Abby’s ten,” he said. “She won’t go to college for eight years.”
“I know, I know. But when she does, it will cost a fortune if she doesn’t get scholarships,” Edith said. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
Edith scurried out the room, leaving Zach standing in the middle of her living room feeling confused. He glanced around. Everywhere he looked there were pictures of Keith’s smiling face. Those pictures made his heart ache for Edith.
When she came back into the room, she was carrying a piece of paper. “When Keith was born, I started buying five-hundred dollar savings bonds twice a year, on his birthday and on Christmas. I kept buying them figuring I’d use them for his college, but he got a scholarship. Then I kept buying them thinking I’d give them to him on his last birthday…” She trailed off.
Zach understood why. Keith had died far too young.
Edith took a deep breath and continued, “I still kept buying them since he died. I wasn’t sure what I would do with them until today. Keith will pay for Abby’s college education. Not you. Not Suzannah. Keith. This will be from him to his daughter, and I don’t want anyone to argue with me.”
Zach wanted to point out that he would be happy to pay for Abby’s college education, but he understood why it meant so much to Edith. This was something Keith could do for his daughter.
“I think that’s a great idea, but have you talked to Suzannah?”
Edith shook her head. “Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. Are you in love with Suzannah? Do you plan to marry her?”
Zach felt strange having this conversation with Edith before he’d even had it with Suzannah, but he figured getting Edith on his side was a little like getting Keith’s nod of approval.
“Yes, I’m in love with Suzannah. I’ve been in love with her for a long, long time. And yes, I want to marry her,” he said.
A huge smile crossed Edith’s face, and he realized it had been years since he had seen her happy. “That’s great. Then you need to tell her before she tells you she wants to call it off. Also tell her about Keith’s gift to Abby. She’s his daughter, and it’s only right.”
Zach agreed that he needed to talk to Suzannah soon, but first he needed to do something else. A phone call to Dave Holton should take care of it.
Before he headed out to his truck, though, he needed to say something to Keith’s mother.
“Thank you, Edith, for everything. I promise to love Suzannah and Abby with all my heart.”
She took a step forward and hugged him. “I know you will.”
Chapter 12
Suzannah felt as if she would explode. As she was getting dressed in her Mrs. Claus costume, all she could think about was the difficult conversation she needed to have with Zach.
She was going to have to tell him that they could only be friends. As much as the thought broke her heart, she knew it was the right thing to do. Chloe had received scholarships to help with some of her tuition, but she still had student loans which she was paying, and it was years since she had gotten out of college.
Suzannah couldn’t stand the thought of Abby struggling with that debt. She would take on the debt for her daughter, and she would be happy to do it. But it was unfair and wrong to have Zach take on the burden, even if he wanted to.
She was pacing by the float on which she was Zach would ride when she finally saw him across the parking lot. She twisted her hands as he approached. He looked handsome even in his Santa costume.
“Hi,” he said when he reached her. “You look beautiful.”
She smiled, but she knew her smile was weak. She hated what she had to do, but it was the only fair thing. She realized the kind move would be to wait until after the parade was over to tell him, but she just couldn’t. Instead, she blurted, “We need to just be friends. I’m sorry.”
Rather than looking crestfallen, Zach nodded slowly. “Edith to
ld me you would say that.”
Suzannah felt tears forming in her eyes. “I’m sorry. This isn’t about Keith. It’s about—” She waved one hand, knowing if she tried to explain he would argue with her. “It’s lots of things. Let’s just be friends, ok?”
Zach started to say something, but the mayor, Dave Holton, walked over.
“It’s time for the happy couple to take their places.” He helped Suzannah climb onto the truck. Then he turned to Zach. “It’s all set.”
Suzannah had no clue what Dave meant. She waited until Zach jumped up on the truck and sat in his chair next to hers. “What’s all set?”
Rather than answering her question, he smiled at her. “Everything will be okay.”
Suzannah sighed. Zach didn’t understand, and she didn’t have time right now to explain. She slowly shook her head. “No. It’s not. We need to talk.”
He leaned over and gave her a slow, soft kiss, and despite her best intentions, she kissed him back.
“We will talk as soon as the parade is over,” he said. “But don’t worry. Things will work out.”
“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Claus, stop necking. We need to start this parade,” Dave said, climbing into the driver’s seat of the truck. “Let’s go wow the people of Kringle.”
Before Suzannah could say more, the parade started. She felt terrible about how things turned out with Zach, and she realized she should have waited until after the parade to tell him. But waiting to tear off a bandage didn’t make it hurt less.
Sometimes you need to just go through the pain. You had to, if you wanted to reach the other side.
* * *
Zach couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this encouraged. He knew deep in his heart that things with Suzannah would work out, and he’d never been happier.
He glanced at her. She was so sad, and he wanted to tell her about his discussion with Edith, but he felt strongly that Edith needed to tell her the news. It was important that Keith be part of this decision.
As the parade slowly wove its way through town, Zach kept up a steady stream of “ho ho ho” and tossed candy to the children. The crowd was huge this year. It seemed like every year, Kringle drew more and more people to their festivities. He couldn’t blame them. Kringle was a great town, but around Christmas, it took on an almost magical feel. Abby was right. Christmas in Kringle made you believe in wishes.
And speaking of Abby, she was on the float in front of them. She and Chloe dressed as elves and looked really cute. They’d left Betty at the clinic so that the parade didn’t over excite her. Several times, she grinned and waved at her mom and Zach. He waved back. She didn’t know it yet, but hopefully, she was about to get her wish.
The parade took almost an hour to weave through the city. Several times they stopped and little ones came over and sat on his lap. He was getting better at handling the children and making sure they believed in him. He knew that his role was about more than simply pretending to be Santa. It was about teaching children to dream and believe.
Once they reached the end of the parade route, everyone climbed off the floats and gathered in the staging area. Zach scanned the crowd until he spotted Edith. They agreed that she would meet them at the end of the parade. She was smiling and waving enthusiastically.
He was thrilled to see she felt much better about everything, and he completely understood why it was important to have Keith be part of this along with her. As much as he wanted to assure her that he would make sure Abby had everything she needed in life, he knew this was one time when he needed to put his ego aside and do what was best for Abby and Edith.
He turned and helped Suzannah off the float. He could tell she was trying not to cry, and he felt terrible that he couldn’t make her feel better immediately, but he needed to let Edith explain this first.
“Zach, we need to talk,” Suzannah said once they were both standing on the ground.
“I know,” he told her. “And we will. But first, we need to go see Edith.” He took her hand and led her over to where Abby was standing. When she saw them, Abby hugged both her mom and Zach.
“Wasn’t that fun? All the kids seemed really excited.” Abby was bouncing up and down. “Lots of them waved to me too.”
Suzannah hugged her daughter again. “They did. Who doesn’t love a cute elf?”
Abby giggled, then noticed her grandmother standing across the parking lot. “Look. Grandma is here,” she said before sprinting toward the older woman.
Zach turned to head that way, but Suzannah grabbed his hand. “Wait. I need to talk to you before we see Edith. I’ve given us lots of thought, and I really don’t think we should try to be more than friends. I’m sorry, Zach. I know this is hard, but it’s for the best. Things are just not going to work out for us.”
Zach knew it upset her, so he leaned down and lightly kissed her on the cheek. “You need to have faith,” he said. “Believe in the Christmas magic of Kringle, just like Abby.”
Before Suzannah could say anything else, he took her hand and together they headed across the parking lot to talk to Edith.
* * *
Things were not going well, Suzannah decided as she walked with Zach across the parking lot. She needed to talk to him and get this over with before she started to sob. Breaking up with him was the right thing to do, she knew it deep within her heart, but going through it was hard. The sooner she could get it over, the better.
But life was not on her side. Every few feet, someone stopped them to talk about the parade, comment on their costumes, or take a picture with them. Knowing that the last thing people wanted to see was a sad Mrs. Claus, she forced herself to put on a happy face. Just because her heart was breaking didn’t mean she had the right to ruin this occasion for others.
“Santa and Mrs. Claus, I’d like to introduce you to my grandson, Tyson,” Dave Holton said, holding the hand of his young grandson. Although Suzannah had met Tyson several times over the years, she realized that Mrs. Claus never had.
“It’s nice to meet you,” she said to the young man who was smiling up at her with a big grin. Before she could say anything else, he hugged her leg.
“I luff you,” he said, his eyes shining. “I luff you lots.” Then he tipped his head and looked up at Zach, his eyes wide. “Wow.”
Zach crouched down so he was level with Tyson. “Ho, ho, ho,” he said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“I’ve been good,” Tyson said, rubbing Zach’s beard with fingers that appeared more than a little sticky. “I luff you a lot.”
Tyson was melting her heart. Suzannah loved children and watching Zach as he talked and laughed with Tyson caused her to decide she was making things even harder. She and Keith had always planned to have more children, but it wasn’t to be. Now, knowing that she needed to focus on Abby and her future, that was a dream she should probably let go of. She had Abby, and she was happy.
Well, at least she would be once she got over losing her relationship with Zach.
After Tyson gave them both more hugs, they walked over to join Edith.
“Dave’s grandson is really cute,” Edith said, looking at Suzannah. “Children are such a gift.”
Suzannah nodded. She was finding it increasingly difficult to remain calm. “Yes, Abby and her future mean everything to me.”
Before she could add more, Edith hugged Abby and then told Suzannah, “She means everything to me too. And to Keith. Which is why he wants to do something for his daughter.”
Suzannah blinked. She wasn’t sure where Edith was going with this. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.”
Edith came to stand directly in front of Suzannah. Then she said, “I have been buying savings bonds since the day Keith was born. Every birthday and Christmas, I bought them. I was saving them for his college tuition, but he didn’t need them because they awarded him scholarships. Then I saved them for his thirtieth birthday, but sadly we lost him before then.”
Suzannah felt her throat closing up.
Thinking about losing Keith was hard at the best of times. Today, when she was already feeling so emotional, she was having trouble not crying.
“I’m so sorry,” she said to Edith. “Keith would have been so surprised by your gift.”
Edith patted her arm. “I know, dear. I like to think of the bonds as belonging to him, which is why I know he would want to give them to Abby to use for college.”
Suzannah started to say something, then she stopped and admitted, “Edith, I don’t understand.”
Edith smiled and hugged Abby. “Keith would want his daughter to have the money to pursue her dreams.”
“But it’s your money,” Suzannah pointed out. “You should keep it for yourself.”
Edith shook her head. “No. That wouldn’t make me happy. What will make me happy is knowing that this is something Keith can do for his daughter.”
When Suzannah started to protest, Edith said, “Please, dear. This is very important to me. It is something Keith can do.”
Suzannah didn’t know what to say, but she understood why this meant so much to Edith. “That’s so sweet.”
Abby hugged her grandmother. “That’s so cool, Grandma. Thank you so much. I love you, and I love Daddy.”
Edith’s smile was just a little wobbly as she said, “I know, sweetheart. We all do.”
After Abby finished hugging her grandmother, Suzannah hugged her. “You’re so kind.”
Edith laughed softly. “It makes me thrilled to do this for Abby. It also means that you no longer have an excuse for not being happy yourself.”
Edith’s words surprised her. She hadn’t been thinking about her situation, but now that Edith pointed it out, she was right. Zach would no longer feel responsible.
She looked at him. He was smiling at Edith. “She’s a very special lady, isn’t she?”
“I can’t believe she is doing this,” Suzannah said. “I was so worried about Abby’s future, and I didn’t want—”