by Jordyn White
“Maybe you don’t know where this is going yet, and that’s okay. I’m not asking you to make promises you’re not able to—”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” He blinks at me. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, I’d move to Swan Pointe.”
His face softens, and all the anxiety I saw on his face starts to drain away. He strokes my hair. “You would?”
I nod. “But...”
His hand freezes as he watches me.
“I’m...” I stop. Then I say the thing I’ve been afraid of all along. “I don’t want to be that leash tying you down.”
He strokes my hair again and smiles. “You’re not. That’s what I realized. You’re my anchor.”
Part of me relaxes, but another part of me is still nervous. “What’s the difference?”
He smiles gently. “It’s like the difference between good impulsive and bad impulsive,” he says, holding my eyes. “There’s always been this restlessness inside of me. It’s always, always been there.”
“The itch you can’t scratch.”
“Exactly!” His eyes light up the way they do when he gets to a fork in the road, or talks about his parents’ dream, or—I suddenly realize—looking at me. “I thought that itch was for adventure. But it wasn’t. It was the part of me that wanted more. Only I didn’t know what the more was, so I kept looking for it over the horizon and around the next corner.” He holds my face in his hands and gives me that tender look of his. “That thing I needed,” he says, “that more, it was you.”
He looks at the smile emerging on my lips and smiles too.
“Every time we’ve been apart, even just after Spain, I’ve felt something tugging on me. But it’s not the world that’s calling to me anymore. It’s you. I didn’t realize what it was until I was standing in the marina this morning, looking at my boat, and wanting to follow that tugging all the way here to you. I realized that for the first time in my life, I have something on the earth I’m anchored to. But it’s not a place or a job or even my family, even though I do love them and want to stay there. Only if you’re there though. Because you are my anchor now. You’re my home port. And God help you if you decide you don’t want me, because you see how persistent I can be.”
I laugh and put my hands on his face and kiss him again and again. “I love how persistent you are.” We both grin at each other. “And impulsive and amazing and, God, I just love you.”
“So you might come to Swan Pointe some day?”
“Connor.” I exhale gently. “I’d come to Swan Pointe tomorrow.”
“You would?” he says softly.
I nod. “I really, really wanted you to tell me not to take the promotion.”
“You did?” He grins and gives me a kiss. “I would have but I didn’t want to be a selfish ass.”
“I don’t want it.” I shake my head and thread my hands into the back of his hair. “I only want you.”
Chapter 27
Connor
I was in San Francisco a grand total of twelve hours before I had to rent a car and drive home so I could be back in time for a morning meeting. I had texted Lizzy so she wouldn’t think I just up and disappeared (permanently anyway).
I’ll drive back up on Friday and bring Whitney here on the boat, weather permitting. She gave her boss plenty of notice, so she won’t move here for another month, but she’s looking at houses with me this weekend, now that I’m finally ready to find a place.
Right now I’m at Rayce’s, dropping off Lizzy’s espresso machine that I don’t want and she doesn’t need, since Mom and Dad had one too. We’re finally starting to sort out what to do with everything, which we hadn’t done yet. It’s made me realize just how much everyone’s lives were on hold while I tried to figure out what was what.
We’re sitting at the wet bar in his basement, but keeping it simple with a couple of beers. Rayce lives in a sprawling ranch house that, frankly, could really use a woman’s touch.
Speaking of women, just before he takes a swig of his beer, he says, “I ended it with Taylor.” We’ve talked more in the last few days than we have in months, but other than an acknowledgement that an affair was, in fact, happening, he’s said little about it and I haven’t pushed. I’ve thought about it though. I suspect it was his way of trying to avoid dealing with our parents’ death, a little piece of self-destructive behavior that was, at least, better than turning to alcohol or drugs.
“That’s good.”
He looks at me and hesitates. I think he’s waiting for me to chastise him about this, which I’ve yet to do. “I know it was stupid.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You’d have every right to. It could affect you guys too. Everything really.”
I know what he’s talking about. Even though the relationship was consensual, she could decide to sue for sexual harassment because Rayce is her boss. Dad would’ve kicked his ass all over California if he’d been around to do it. But Rayce is kicking himself plenty over there, I can see.
“I know,” I say.
Rayce gives me a serious look. “I won’t do that again.”
I already know this, now that the old Rayce is back. But this is a serious situation, and a little extra insurance never hurts. “Is that a promise?”
He nods. “I promise.”
“All right then. No more needs to be said.”
He sighs and takes a drink. “Sometimes something will come up at work and I’ll think, ‘I should ask Dad about this.’ Then I remember I can’t.”
“I do that, too. With both of them.”
He looks at me “Really?”
I nod.
“Huh,” he says, taking another drink. “Well, it sucks.”
I nod again. “I really wish they could’ve met Whitney.”
“Yeah. They’d like her.”
“I think so too.” I tell him about Whitney’s tortured big heart and how it’s so like Mom.
“She’s the kind of person you want running a foundation or something,” Rayce says, and finishes off his beer.
Now it’s my turn to say, “Huh.” That’s not a half bad idea.
“Wanna play Super Mario Brothers?” He gestures toward his game room. He’s never entirely outgrown his love for old video games, but I don’t think he’s touched any of it since Mom and Dad died. “We could order a pizza.”
I smile. “You’d better get wings too. It’ll ease the pain of me kicking your trash all over Mushroom Kingdom.”
As we head into Rayce’s game room, I think how remarkable it is to feel so content and settled. Is this what people feel like when they grow roots? Maybe I’ve been the one missing out after all.
I recall again the conversation I had with my mom, the day I told my family I was leaving the business. She had reassured me that it was okay to pick up and go, but she also told me it would be just as okay to come home one day and drop anchor. I can hear her voice now, and smile as I remember: “If you ever grow tired of the tumbleweed thing or decide you want something more, don’t sweat it kiddo. It’s just another bend in the road.”
What a beautiful bend it’s been, too.
I can’t wait to see what’s down the rest of this road I get to travel, with Whitney by my side.
Chapter 28
Whitney
After a day spent house hunting, Connor and I are at Lizzy’s house for the monthly dinner with his family. Connor and his siblings are lounging on the couches, swapping stories and laughing, and Corrine and I are at the little table by the window overlooking the backyard and playing gin rummy.
Corrine gives the first impression of being a delicate flower. Maybe it’s her slight build. Or maybe it’s just an assumption I made about her, after having seen pictures of her wasted away in a hospital bed. A few games of gin rummy with her blew that impression right out of the water. This girl is a gin rummy ninja.
“Gin.” She lays down her hand, grinning.
Shit. See what I mean? “H
ow do you keep doing that?”
She shrugs and starts gathering up the cards, still smiling. I smile too. She’s so endearing, it’s hard to get too mad at her.
“Wanna play again?” she asks.
“Anyone else want to get stomped on over here?” I say with a grin, and they laugh.
“I’ll play the next winner,” Lizzy says.
“Okay,” Corrine says, shuffling the cards like a Vegas blackjack dealer.
“She’s already assuming she’s going to win,” I say, teasing. Corrine shrugs with faux innocence.
“Okay, so go on with your story,” Lizzy says to Connor. He just started telling them the one about the marijuana guys he met at a remote campground in Washington, but I’m only half listening because I’ve heard it already and I’m trying to finally win a hand against Corrine.
“So these guys had been friends for forty years or something,” Connor continues as Corrine deals the cards, “and they ride their racing bicycles all over the place. This time they started in Couer d’Alene, Idaho and biked fifty or sixty miles a day to get to the coast. They didn’t have the physique you’d expect, either. Their legs were as skinny as all get out, but they all had these beer bellies on them. Maybe from drinking so much, because they were really putting it away. They were high-style drinkers too. Cognac.”
“Good choice,” Rayce says, nodding. As for first impressions, I’ve found it a lot easier to relate to Rayce after I saw him get stomped all over by Corrine himself.
“One guy had it in a shot glass, but the other guy had a big water glass full of it,” Connor says, holding up his hands to indicate. “He was the one who offered me a joint.”
“Which you claim you turned down,” Lizzy teases.
“I totally did. So we’re around the campfire and they’re telling the most raucous stories and getting hammered and I’m just trying to figure out how they do that at night and still function enough to ride so many miles the next day. Well we get to talking about the legalization of marijuana, and the guy tells me where he goes to get his hashish oil to smoke. ‘But,’ he says,” and Connor takes on the old guy’s voice for affect, “ ‘That’s not for everyday use. Just special occasions, like the symphony.’ ”
They all start laughing but I’m trying to figure out if I should pick up the five of spades or draw. Corrine’s watching me with an amused grin.
“So then he starts telling me that he smokes it for medicinal purposes, and that he didn’t smoke much after he quit in his twenties. His friend calls him out on it and says, ‘Bullshit. When did you ever quit? You’ve been smoking for as long as I’ve known you.’ ”
I finally pick up the five and discard my eight of hearts. Quick as lightning, Corrine picks it up and discards a king of diamonds. Dammit.
“So then,” Connor continues, laughing, Rayce and Lizzy laughing with him, “he says, ‘I read this article that says as you age, marijuana will eat the stuff in your brain that causes Alzheimer’s.’ I said, ‘Oh yeah? Where’d you read that?’ He says, ‘I don’t know. I forget.’ ”
Corrine starts laughing and looks over at Connor.
Rayce is laughing and says, “You’re making this shit up.”
Connor raises his hands, “I swear to god.”
I’m smiling too, but I’m too distracted to laugh with the others thanks to the lousy card I just drew. What the hell am I supposed to do with a ten of clubs?
The story concludes with Connor declaring, “Those old guys were quite the characters,” and the laughter settles down.
“Well, I better go pick up dinner.” Rayce gets off the couch. It’s his turn to cook, so I’ve learned that means he either picks something up or has it delivered.
Connor gets off the couch too and heads over to us as Corrine picks up yet another one of my discards. “How’s it going over here?” He plants a kiss on top of my head.
“I’m getting my ass kicked, that’s how it’s going.”
Corrine shrugs. “I’m trying to go easy on her.” But her happy grin betrays her lack of remorse.
“You Rivers kids are brutal,” I say, and Connor laughs.
I start pulling a card out of my hand to discard but he stops me. “Not that one. That one,” he says pointing.
“Hey, no cheating!” Corrine pulls her cards close to her chest, even though neither one of us can see them anyway.
“I’m not cheating. I’m helping.”
“Did you look at my cards when you came over?”
“No. Stop being a poor sport.”
She grins. “Me?”
He laughs and points to the card. “That’s the one,” he says again.
I shrug. It can’t hurt. I discard and she draws off the deck. Then she gets that gleeful look on her face I’m getting all too familiar with. “Gin!”
While Rayce goes out for food and Lizzy takes on the challenge of Corrine, Connor and I settle into the couch for some G-rated snuggling, since we have an audience and all. I lean against his chest and rest my hand on his stomach. He plays absently with my hair, stroking my shoulder in between.
Even sitting here on Lizzy’s couch, Connor gives me those feelings that should be contradictory, but aren’t. He makes me feel peaceful and alive, all at once.
“I want to go somewhere with you,” I say impulsively. “Once I’m down here.”
I haven’t started looking for work yet. Connor’s encouraged me to take a short break after I move so I have some time to really think about what I want to do next. It’s not a bad idea, so I won’t start looking until I’m moved and settled. That would be the perfect time for us to take a longer trip together.
“Where do you want to go?” he asks easily, still playing with my hair.
“I don’t know. Japan?”
He chuckles and wraps his arms around me, settling deeper into the couch. “Hmm. Good choice. I’ve never been to Japan and that one’s been on my list for a long time.” He’s got that honey-sweet pull to his voice. I look up and see that adventurer’s glint in his eyes.
“We could go right now.”
He laughs, strokes my cheek, and gives me a kiss. “Or we could get out a calendar and do it that way.”
“A calendar?” Corrine says, acting shocked he isn’t just jumping on the boat two seconds after realizing he wants to go somewhere.
He shrugs, not at all bothered from what I can tell. “She told her boss she’d stay until August 14. Anyway, I’d like to get a contractor finalized for the renovations to the teen center first.”
Lizzy’s giving him a fond smile. “I think you’re all grown up, kiddo.”
“Don’t call me kiddo.”
I put my mouth next to his ear. “She wouldn’t call you kiddo if she knew what you can do with that cock of yours.”
Connor laughs and holds me closer.
“What are you two giggling about over there?” Lizzy asks, but forgets all about us when Corrine lays down her cards and yells, “Gin!”
“Dang it.” But Lizzy is smiling easily. As she gathers up the cards and starts shuffling, Connor tucks his finger under my chin so I’ll look at him.
He gives me that tender look, and I soften against him, smiling.
“I love you,” he mouths silently.
“I love you,” I mouth back, feeling safe and secure in his arms, with no fears about where he might go or what he might do next.
It’s only been four days since Connor showed up dripping wet, declaring his love for me and calling me his anchor. Maybe a reasonable person would wait to see if he really means it or if he’s going to end up getting restless later after all, but I don’t need to wait.
I see it in his eyes. I feel it in his arms and in my heart.
I’ve tamed the wind, and made it mine.
Continue with the Rivers Family saga...
When Lizzy Rivers crosses paths with “Brett Freaking Carmichael”, the son of her nemesis, she learns there’s more to this heart-stopping single dad than she first believed. Get
swept away in their sexy, heartfelt love story, BEAUTIFUL FALL.
Not to be left out, the Rivers’ beloved cousin Corrine falls for the mysterious Mason Reeves, a man with tragic ties to the family clan. But family secrets aren’t the only things standing in the way of their happily ever after. Experience all the feels of their stunning love affair in BEAUTIFUL DARK.
Be sure to find out who tames the eldest Rivers brother. Fall in love with Rayce and Emma in BEAUTIFUL DEEP, a powerful tale of passion, love, and redemption.
Don’t miss discovering a whole new side to Swan Pointe’s intrepid gossip columnist, Rita Becker, when her path collides with Dallas Huntington in BEAUTIFUL LIES.
Enjoy this excerpt from BEAUTIFUL FALL.
Lizzy
I’ve had less than one hour to enjoy my triumph, and here comes my arch nemesis trying to screw it all up.
I’m on the boardwalk in front of a long row of old beach cottages, waiting for my contractor to arrive so we can discuss renovations. There are twenty-three cottages in total, two-story clapboard structures that vary considerably from one another but which all provide an unobstructed view of the ocean. The beach comes almost up to their back steps, with only an old, wooden boardwalk serving as a sand break.
I was already feeling a little anxious, mainly about how the town will react to my plan for these cottages.
The Cottages, as they’ve been so simply called in Swan Pointe for decades, have been part of the town’s landscape since they were built in the 1950s, and part of the community’s heart for nearly as long. It’s a quiet central California destination for tourists, as well as a popular retreat for local Monterey County residents.
And I’m about to change it all.
As of this afternoon, The Cottages—which are on a narrow strip of land at the base of a high bluff—now belong to the Rivers Paradise Resort—which sits atop said bluff. As relatively recent heirs of the resort, my brothers and I own these cottages jointly, but this project? She’s my baby.
It’s my chance to prove I’m worthy of the Rivers family name, that my late parents weren’t the only ones who could envision something bold and new, and that I’m not the horrible person I’ve recently been made out to be.