by LK Collins
“No, you shouldn’t. I don’t know this chic, so the last thing you should do is leave.” I try and lie my way out of it. But before I can, What’s her name turns her cell phone toward Sasha, and when I see the string of text messages, including some graphic photos that were sent between us, it reminds me we did fuck and sext.
Motherfucker!
“You can read it, if you’d like,” What’s her name says to Sasha, and she yanks her arm away from me.
“Please don’t. I can explain.” I try and stop her, but I’m too late as she slips into the elevator. Standing here, I’m torn between running after her or chewing this psychopath a new asshole. I mean, how the fuck dare she? Turning my back on the elevator as adrenaline courses through me, I know she’ll be in a cab before I can get down the stairs. I prepare to let out an unleashing of fury on this woman.
She is still sitting there with a smug expression on her face.
You’d think she's enjoying this.
“What the fuck was that for?”
“It’s called payback.”
“For what?” I shout.
“For what you did to me,” she snarls, and I have no idea what she’s talking about.
“I didn’t do shit to you.”
“No? You didn’t make me fall head over heels in love with you, string me along for months on end sexting me, then blow me off? All for what, her?”
“You’re fucking crazy, you know that?”
“I wasn’t crazy the night you took me home to your apartment.”
“I was obviously drunk because I barely remember you.”
“Were you drunk when you sent me these messages, too?” she asks showing me her phone again. When I see my name, I do remember texting her. And if I’m honest, it was more than once. She was easy, though, and now I can see why. The fucking woman was in love with me.
“Let me give you a little advice. The next time you fuck with me or even think we had anything real, don’t! Because we didn’t. And if I can’t get that girl back because of this little stunt you pulled, I will make your life fucking hell!” She sulks back in the chair, seemingly shocked by my outburst, which is exactly what I was going for.
15
Sasha
Westin: Please let me explain, it’s not what you think.
Westin: That chick is crazy, I barely remember her and don’t even know what her name is.
As I read more of his text messages, I tell myself I don’t want him to explain anything to me. She obviously didn’t make that text up, and he just confirmed that he knows her. Plus, I saw his name and the picture of himself he sent her. So, if it was nothing, why would she hang onto it and why hasn’t he denied it?
My first assumption of who he was is spot on. I’m just pissed at myself for thinking he was someone different. He’s no different than any man. Hell, the story he told me about Infidelity is probably a lie. I bet he works for them and is trying to lure me in. For all I know, maybe Westin wanted to take me to the hospital, so I’d run into that girl and then I’d turn to Infidelity and accept their offer. She probably works for him too. I bet he doesn’t even have a friend named Dex or a pregnant cousin. It’s just her and him, they are twisted enough to fuck with people.
I put a thin layer of lip-gloss on my lips and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Jesus, it’s useless. Today is just gonna be one of those days. I didn’t get enough sleep last night, and the stress that’s brewing inside of me simply won’t stop.
I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Rach about what happened. I was too embarrassed, I guess.
Grabbing my purse from the kitchen island, I head out of my condo. The weather is warm today, so I decide to walk. With traffic being so congested here, it really takes the same amount of time to walk as it does to drive.
The morning air is fresh, it’s just what I need, really. A way to clear my mind and forget about Westin, once and for all. The walk is quick, and as I enter my building, I go straight toward my office.
“Miss Monroe,” my secretary calls for me. I tried to bypass her as she talked to one of the other admins when I walked by. I could swear she hadn’t noticed my arrival, but I guess she did. I turn, and she says to me, “There is an engineer in your office. He insisted you had a meeting with him, but I didn’t see it on your calendar.”
Her words and the realization that Westin is here send me into a tailspin. I guess I could turn around and run away from the building, but really, what’s that going to accomplish? “It’s fine,” I tell her preparing myself to face him. Preparing to see him again when I don’t know how I’m going to react, or how I will feel, or what I’ll say.
Lifting my head high, I walk into my office. He’s sitting in one of the chairs in front of my desk, his head is in his hands, and his body slumped forward. I close the door quietly, and when it clicks shut, his head whips around, and he looks me in the eyes. I notice his are bloodshot and exhausted.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him.
“You have to listen to me, Sasha.”
“No, I actually don’t.”
“Please,” he begs me, clenching his hands together as if praying so I’ll listen to him.
I shake my head, not sure why I’m about to give him the time of day. What I need to do is stand firm, stand my ground and kick his ass out of here, but I can’t.
I take a seat, and he runs one hand through the top of his greasy hair. I realize then that he hasn’t showered, that he’s still wearing the same clothing he was when we flew back from New York yesterday.
“Thank you.” His voice is a whisper; this is a side of Westin I’ve never seen. I look at him, and he stares back at me. His expression and demeanor are heartbreaking, but I remind myself of his lies and know it’s got to be a show.
“You’ve got five minutes, Westin.”
“Okay. I’m sorry. I’d played this all in my mind and was prepared for what I was going to say to you, but seeing you again has made me forget it all.”
His words, whether they are the truth or a lie, are beautiful.
“I’m not going to sit here and deny the fact that I’ve slept around, that I’ve been with a lot of women.”
That’s encouraging.
“I have, Sasha, and that woman at the hospital yesterday, she meant nothing to me. You have to believe me. She made me feel nothing. And up until I met you, that’s how I’ve lived my entire life. Even when I was younger. That’s why I considered The Infidelity Corporation; I knew for me it’d be easy money and I could keep my feelings out of it like I always did before you. Then you came along and changed that.
"I haven’t felt anything like the pain of the last twenty-four hours since I lost my parents. Losing them made me numb to the world. But you . . . you’re my light, you made me feel again. And even though whatever we have is so new, I can’t let it go. I won’t, Sasha.”
“Why should I believe you?” I ask, so confused and exasperated by his words.
He leans over my desk and takes my hand, so it is resting against his chest. His heart is pounding so quickly I can feel each thud blend into my own heartbeat. “Every word I’ve ever spoken to you is the truth, and when we’re together, this is what you do to me.” I smile a bit. His phone vibrates, sitting on top of my desk. Both our eyes are drawn to it and when I see the picture across the screen, I realize I had it all wrong. Staring back is a picture of a woman and a man holding a brand new baby. I let go of his chest.
“My cousin had the baby.” He looks at the picture then passes me his phone.
“Gorgeous,” I tell him, referring to his cousin who has the same eyes as him and to the tiny child she’s holding onto.
“Sasha, I don’t know what love is since I’ve never felt it before, but you make me feel something I never have. You make me crazy. You make me want to change—to be a better man. I know yesterday was the first of what I’m sure will be many bumps in the road for us, but please don’t stop us from driving down that road. I want to see wh
ere this will go and I hope you do, too.”
Tears gloss over my eyes. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. “I’m sorry,” I tell him, “I’ve been hurt so many times in my life that I guess I’ve put up a wall to protect myself. That’s why I pushed you away from the beginning.”
“I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. But one thing I know I can give you is trust and honesty. I’ve never lied to you. If you’ll have me, that’s what I can promise you.”
Another gush of tears roll down my cheeks, and Westin pats his lap as he sits back down in the chair. I grab a tissue from the box on my desk and move to him. I sit on his lap, his warm, strong arms embracing me. And I can’t help but chuckle when his hard cock twitches under my ass.
“Sorry,” he says.
“Don’t be,” I tell him and hold him tightly. I’ve been living with this fear of being hurt and haven’t given myself the chance to love. The truth is no one knows what the future holds or if each decision we make along the way is right or wrong. But one thing I do know is the solace I feel when I’m in Westin’s arms is indescribable. I love what we have and the risk of being hurt at the end of the day is one I’m willing to take this time. With him.