by Fay Keenan
‘Perhaps we should make this a more regular thing,’ Matthew said, smiling at Ellie, who was busy hoovering up her vegetables, in anticipation of the promised chocolate cake to come.
‘So I was showing Anna some of the photos in your study,’ Meredith said as she put her knife and fork together. Ellie, imitating, did the same.
‘Oh yes?’ Matthew raised an eyebrow. He went to fill Anna’s wine glass again but she shook her head.
‘She was particularly impressed by your –er– rugby passes!’
Anna blushed. Had it really been that obvious?
Matthew grinned. ‘That was a long time ago. I don’t think I’d be capable of such feats these days, not even down the park.’
‘What happened to your knee?’ Anna asked, hoping the heat in her cheeks wasn’t obvious.
‘I was in my last year at university,’ Matthew said. ‘A needle match during the Roses tournament. I got tackled badly and ruined my anterior cruciate ligament. Six months of R&R and another year of physio, and then they told me I’d never play seriously again.’
‘Does it still bother you?’ she asked.
‘Only when I run, which I try not to do these days!’ Matthew grinned. ‘And, much as it would have been fun to have played for my country…’
‘Mum would have loved that,’ Meredith said dryly. ‘Being a rugby widow as well as a cider one.’ She clapped a hand over her mouth, horrified. ‘Anna, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.’ Her eyes filled with tears and she dropped her gaze to the kitchen table.
‘Hey,’ Anna said gently. ‘It’s all right. I don’t break down every time someone mentions the “w” word.’ She reached out and gave Meredith’s hand a squeeze, where it lay clenched on her lap.
Meredith looked up timidly. ‘But it’s not all right, is it? I’m such an idiot.’
‘I know you didn’t mean it,’ Anna replied. ’Now let’s get on with sorting out this chocolate cake, shall we?’
Meredith nodded and jumped up from the table to find the bowls. As she did so, Anna glanced at Matthew. His expression wavered between darkness and light; as if he couldn’t quite decide which way to go. When she caught his eye, however, a grateful and tender smile lifted his features and Anna’s stomach disappeared. ‘Thank you,’ he mouthed, over Ellie’s head and when he was sure Meredith’s back was turned. Anna smiled back. There were bound to be bumps in the road when two families collided; it was getting over them safely that mattered the most. Turning to help Meredith with the dessert, she mused for a moment on this seemingly normal, and yet emotionally charged family scene, and wondered if she’d ever get used to it.
*
‘You were really good with Meredith, earlier,’ Matthew said, putting his arm around Anna as they meandered down the Strawberry Line back to Pippin Cottage. Meredith and Ellie were further ahead, Ellie hanging off one of Meredith’s hands. Sefton gambolled along, trotting off intermittently to check on the two girls and present them with a drool-encrusted tennis ball that Meredith threw down the footpath for him.
‘She didn’t mean anything by it,’ Anna said. ‘And I’d rather people didn’t have to consider everything they say around me before they say it. A lot of people were like that straight after James died – it was as if they were so desperate not to upset me they would rather explode with the stress of trying to say the right thing all the time than risk saying something wrong. Of course, my bereavement counsellor warned me to expect it, but even so it got quite wearing after a while.’
‘I hear you,’ Matthew said. ‘I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone the way you did, but people’s reaction to divorce sounds similar. When Tara left, people pussyfooted around me for weeks, months even. Everywhere I went there were sympathetic stares, people thinking they were being oh so careful and skirting around the subject when I’d far rather they’d just said “I’m sorry” and moved on. Although I have to admit, some of the casseroles that got left on my doorstep were nice!’
Anna grimaced. ‘I wish I could say the same, but I ended up with some truly terrible contributions to my kitchen. Not that I wasn’t grateful, but at the time, and for quite a while afterwards, I couldn’t eat very much.’
‘To be honest, Meredith got most of the ones made for us, but at least I didn’t have to worry about learning to cook for her. And then Pat sort of took over and filled up our freezer from time to time. Thank goodness Meredith took an interest when she got older, or I’ve no idea how we’d have survived!’ He gave his famous, face-splitting grin, and Anna grinned back, relieved they were moving on to lighter subjects.
‘Well, today was lovely,’ she said. ‘And I know Ellie loved it, too. Especially having a quick sit on Rosa’s back. Talk about every little girl’s dream!’
‘And you? Did you enjoy it?’ Matthew’s voice was suddenly husky. He glanced up the footpath to check on the girls, then stopped walking and pulled Anna closer to him.
‘I did,’ Anna replied softly. ‘I really did. Thank you.’
The air seemed full of life and sound. Sleepy insects buzzed around the blossoming hedgerows, and the scent of early philadelphus and late primroses made the air sweet and potent.
Matthew raised a warm hand to caress Anna’s cheek and slid the other one around her waist. He kissed her, increasing the pressure as Anna’s lips parted. She could feel every contour of his body as she pressed up against him, and for a moment she forgot everything else around them.
Matthew’s eyes were dark with desire. ‘We never did carry on where we left off a few weeks ago, did we?’
Anna shook her head, incapable of speech.
‘Promise me we will… soon.’
‘You’ve no idea how much I want that,’ she replied. ‘Any more kisses like that and I’ll expire like a Jane Austen heroine!’
Matthew grinned and released her. ‘We can’t have that… as Ellie pointed out, I’d probably never be able to carry you home!’
‘Oi, you two, stop snogging on the path and get a move on!’ Meredith, thankfully, interrupted before Anna could phrase a suitably pithy response.
‘Message received and understood,’ Matthew replied, taking Anna’s hand. ‘Let’s get moving before Sefton decides he wants to spend the night with you.’
‘He’s welcome any time,’ Anna replied, glancing up at Matthew from under her lashes. ‘As long as you walk him in the morning.’
Matthew looked pleasantly surprised, and then gave Anna’s hand a squeeze. ‘I do believe you’re propositioning me, Anna Hemingway!’
‘Perhaps,’ Anna replied, running her index finger lightly over the inside of Matthew’s wrist. She felt him tremble slightly.
‘We need to get this sorted out, and quickly,’ Matthew said, reaching for her again. ‘Or I’ll go mad, knowing you’re a short walk away.’
‘Dad, put her down!’
‘We’ve been told… again,’ Matthew groaned. ‘But, my god, when we get the timing right, you’d better watch out!’
‘I look forward to it!’ Anna murmured, feeling a shiver of excitement. No matter how complicated the logistics, she hoped it wouldn’t be too long before they made good on their promises.
18
It wasn’t long before the day of the Little Somerby May Fair dawned, the sun rising sleepily over the hills at the back of Anna’s cottage and warming the morning air. For once Anna woke before Ellie, and she spent a few minutes enjoying the rosy glow from the sunrise as it made its way over the brow of the hill. Moments like these were precious now she had become a parent. More often than not, Ellie would bounce through from her bedroom at some ridiculous hour and insist on CBeebies. Anna was beginning to recognise the voices of the different presenters on the children’s channel without even opening her eyes.
Today felt different. Anna’s parents were going to stop in at the May Fair on their way down to visit Anna’s grandfather in Hampshire, and they were taking Ellie with them. Much as she would miss her, it would be nice not to b
e woken up by the excitable voice of her three-year-old daughter for two whole mornings. That didn’t necessarily mean she would wake in the cottage alone, though. With a flutter of anticipation, she considered the possibilities.
Over recent weeks, she and Matthew had been spending increasing amounts of time together, but between her commitments at the tea shop and his as Managing Director of the cider firm it was difficult to get more than an hour or two, and then it was often in the company of Meredith and Ellie. When Anna’s parents had offered to take Ellie away for a couple of days, Anna’s mind had immediately drawn the obvious conclusion; her relationship with Matthew was heavy with promise, but they had not yet taken the next step. Two days alone would appear to be a blessing.
It had been so long since she’d shared a bed with anyone though, and she was hardly prepared for a night of passion. She had grown so accustomed to James lying beside her that for months after his death she would reach out at night, forgetting he was no longer there. She missed him in other, more elemental ways, too. The loneliness she felt often took a very physical turn, and the craving for touch at times consumed her. She’d been with James for twelve years; his absence was a physical as well as emotional affliction.
There was no getting away from the fact that she and Matthew were heading in a very physical direction. The current between them had been strong from the start, and now the sparks were flying every time they were near each other. There had been kisses – many, many kisses – but there always seemed to be something that made them stop short of spending the night together. Sometimes it was practical; both had children and, despite Meredith’s insistence she was almost an adult, Matthew wasn’t prepared to leave her alone in the house all night. Ellie, of course, was a huge consideration for them both too. Ellie liked Matthew, that much was clear, but Anna was loath to confuse her by inviting Matthew to stay over at the cottage too soon. So they’d prowled, light-footed, around each other until they were granted an opportunity.
Tonight, it seemed, would be that opportunity. Meredith was away for the night, and from Monday she was on a school trip to Belfast for her first Model United Nations conference. But there was the fair to go to, first.
A tradition in Little Somerby that went back generations, on the first Saturday in May the village held a fair on the green, in the shadow of the largest of the barrows that stood sentinel over the village boundary. Little Somerby had a long and proud archaeological heritage, and, as religions came, intertwined and evolved, so the barrows still held a significance. The village turned out in force for the fair, and from the afternoon onwards the sound of children playing, music of all kinds and singing rang around the grounds. In the evening there was a ceilidh with several local bands that went on until the sunrise the following day. Few had the stamina to see the whole night through, and those with children usually retired before the sun had even set, but for the steadfast, there was a barbecue breakfast to greet the dawn of the new day.
Ellie would be with Anna for part of the day, but Anna’s parents wanted to get going before the holiday traffic kicked off, so they would be taking her with them around lunchtime. That left her and Matthew with two and a half days, and, more significantly, two nights, to themselves.
Just as she was contemplating getting into the shower, Ellie at last woke up. Bounding through to Anna’s bedroom, she jumped right in the middle of the bed.
‘Morning, Munchkin,’ Anna said, pulling her into a tight embrace. ‘Ready to go with Nan and Grampy for the night?’
‘I take my swimbling costume?’ Ellie asked. It took Anna half a second to realise Ellie was already wearing it.
‘I should think so, but you’ll have to put it in your suitcase!’
After Anna had packed Ellie’s suitcase and managed to squeeze in a quick shower, there was a knock at the door and, before Anna could get to it, it had swung open.
‘Are you ready?’ Charlotte said.
‘Yup, just got to grab my keys,’ Anna replied, searching for the house keys in the bowl by the door. It didn’t help that her hands had started to shake.
This wasn’t unnoticed by Charlotte. Stepping towards her best friend, she put her hands on her shoulders. ‘Relax, darling. It’s not like he’s going to impale you on top of the barrow for everyone to see!’
‘Thanks for that wonderful image!’
Charlotte grinned, but her smile faded as she saw the look on Anna’s face. ‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You’re not seventeen any more. No one’s putting peer pressure on you. Matthew’s a grown man, not some oversexed teenager.’
‘I know,’ Anna sighed. ‘I think I’m putting pressure on myself. What if, after all this anticipation, it’s all a massive let down?’
‘Then, being the mature and sensible adults that you are, you’ll probably just laugh it off and try again some other time!’ Charlotte gave her friend a quick hug. ‘Don’t you think he’s worrying about the same stuff? After all, you know what they say about forty over forty and all that?’ She grinned. ‘I bet he’s already been trawling through his spam email folder frantically trying to find those ads for Viagra.’
Despite herself, Anna grinned back. ‘Somehow he doesn’t strike me as the anxious type.’
‘You say that, but he’s not exactly been Mr Stud Muffin, you know. I can’t remember the last time I saw him with a woman on his arm, and, he might be cautious and discreet, but no one’s that subtle.’ Charlotte tucked a stray lock of hair out of Anna’s eyes. ‘Just relax and take it as it, er, comes. So to speak.’
‘Let’s get going then,’ Anna said, finally, taking Ellie’s hand. ‘I said I’d meet him there at twelve, and it’s quarter to already.’ Grabbing a cardigan to sling over her summer dress in case it chilled off later, she smiled at her friend. ‘You’re right, as usual.’
‘I know,’ Charlotte said smugly. ‘But promise me one thing…’
‘What?’
‘I want details. After the fact. If there is a fact, that is. I’ve been dying to know if Mr Moody Breeches Carter is as well hung as his jeans have been suggesting all these years!’
‘Out!’ Shutting the front door behind them, Anna pretended to clap her hands over her ears.
‘Work’s picking up again for Simon now it’s the summer,’ Charlotte said as they made their way to the fair. ‘Thank goodness. People tend to want to make home improvements when the weather’s warm, so he’s had a lot of quotes for kitchens, bathrooms and even the odd loft conversion! Had to pass that one onto a mate, of course – he’d struggle to do that single-handed.’
‘I’m glad,’ Anna said, also glad they were off the subject of her and Matthew.
Charlotte and Simon had had their fair share of hard times financially; Charlotte’s decision to stay at home and look after Evan had put the squeeze on them, but, ever resourceful Charlotte had managed to keep the family’s heads above water.
‘I was thinking about going back to work at some point, though,’ Charlotte continued. ‘Evan’ll be at school in a year or so, and it would be nice to stretch my academic muscles again and get back to the classroom.’
‘Well, goodness knows they’re crying out for decent teachers – I’m sure a school will snap you up.’
‘Here’s hoping – and that my brain hasn’t turned to total cauliflower in the time I’ve been off!’
They’d made it to the village green by this time. Ahead of them was a variety of stalls, including the obligatory hog roast and burger stands, bouncy castle and inflatable death slide. There were also concessions from local businesses and craft makers, including a multitude of handmade crafts that reflected the strong pagan tradition of the village barrows. That these were nestled comfortably against the stall run by the Salvation Army charity shop and the church was testament to how much easy cooperation had sprung up over the years between the different religious groups of the parish.
Anna scanned the stalls and the crowd, searching for where Lizzie had set up th
e tea shop’s cake stall. In a flash of inspiration a few nights ago, Anna had decided on the theme for the cakes, and she’d spent the last two frantic evenings baking and icing over a hundred cupcakes. The resulting bakes were a twist on the cupcakes she’d first baked for Ursula; a delicate blend of local honey, sourced from the Sedgemoor hives in Taunton, enhanced with cinnamon and topped with frosted apple blossom. Despite her aching back and tired fingers, she knew they looked amazing, and summed up the spirit of the village and the fair. Lizzie had assured her that she and her daughter would run the stall as they always had, so all Anna had to do was check in with her and then the rest of the afternoon would be hers. She smiled as she located the stall, and recognised the vicar and his wife hovering over the cakes.
‘Everything OK?’ Anna asked as she, Ellie and Charlotte approached.
Lizzie grinned. ‘At this rate, we’ll have sold out by lunchtime and Gina and I can take the afternoon off! These lavender ones are selling like hot, well you know!’
Anna smiled back. ‘I’m so relieved.’ Half the takings would be going to the charities supported by the event, and the other half, minus the stall pitching fee, to the tea shop. She was glad she wouldn’t be taking any cakes home, either; if she never saw another frosted apple blossom again, it would be too soon.
‘Let me know if you need me to step in at any point,’ Anna said.
‘Don’t worry about that,’ Lizzie replied, handing over four more cupcakes to the vicar and his wife. ‘This is your first May Fair in a while. Enjoy it.’ She glanced towards the Carter’s Cider concession and then gave Anna a gentle smile. ‘Besides, I think someone’s looking for you.’
Anna’s cheeks started to burn as she followed the direction of Lizzie’s gaze. Standing near to the Carter’s Cider concession was Matthew. She had the advantage for the moment, as, though he was scanning the crowd, he was still unaware of her arrival. He was wearing his customary blue jeans, and his grey T-shirt showed off tanned muscular arms. His hair was reassuringly unkempt, falling in locks over his forehead, dark waves and silver grey streaks highlighted by the sun. He was laughing at something, and the crows’ feet around his eyes deepened as he threw back his head, that miraculous grin lifting his normally serious features. Anna’s heart gave a painful thump. The physical impact of him was incredible, even at this distance. She could only imagine what it would be like when there was no more space between them. They’d had so many fumbles, so many near misses; tonight, there would be nothing to keep them apart.