by Fay Keenan
‘You’re doing nothing wrong,’ Jonathan said. He kept up a reassuring undertone as they moved around the floor, until the song came to an end.
‘Can you get me another drink, please?’ Anna asked, hands shaking uncontrollably.
‘Of course, lovely. I’ll be back in two shakes of a lamb’s proverbial.’
Anna immediately felt the loss as Jonathan strode off. She scuttled to the side of the dance floor, trying to disguise herself in the shadows.
‘Not with Matthew tonight?’ The braying voice of Lando Statham-Smythe, Rotarian, smashed into Anna’s consciousness like a cricket bat to the head.
‘Um, no, not tonight,’ Anna mumbled, instinctively pulling her pashmina a little closer across her chest. The dress she was wearing was hardly low-cut, but something about Lando made her feel as though he was mentally undressing her. Watery blue eyes bulged out from under a heavy browline as if his collar was squeezing the life out of them, and he cupped a slightly lukewarm glass of cava in one of his clammy paws.
‘Trouble in paradise?’ Lando leered, taking a sip of his drink.
‘Not at all, old chap, she just thought she’d hang off my arm tonight instead of my brother’s!’ Jonathan, smooth as silk dipped in gloss paint, glided up to Anna’s side and handed her an alarmingly large glass of white wine. ‘OK, darling?’
Anna nodded, thanking whatever god happened to be looking down at her.
‘Shall we?’ Taking Anna’s free hand, he led her to a secluded table and pulled out a chair for her.
‘Seriously, you’ve turned a rather less than fetching shade of grey,’ Jonathan said softly. ‘Is Lando really that awful?’
‘Charlotte said he groped her bum so badly at the carol service last year, she had a bruise for days,’ Anna grimaced.
Jonathan tried, unsuccessfully, to smother a bark of laughter. Anna felt a sting as she realised how much his laugh resembled Matthew’s.
‘Well, if I was married to Sally, I’d take any opportunity I could get!’ Jonathan grinned at her. ‘Of course, if I was married to you, on the other hand…’ he cocked his head and, deliberately to throw Anna off balance, he glanced up at her from under his lashes.
‘Don’t you ever stop flirting?’ Anna asked, shaking her head in exasperation.
‘Only when I’m asleep,’ Jonathan kept smiling. ‘And sometimes, not even then.’
‘You’re incorrigible.’
‘And encourageable, sweetheart, so go on, encourage me.’ His eyes widened and he assumed a serious expression.
Anna couldn’t help smiling back. ‘Give it up, Casanova. You’re not my type.’
Jonathan clapped a hand over his heart. ‘You injure me, my lady.’
‘I’m sure you’ve had worse,’ Anna was grinning now, despite herself.
‘On the contrary,’ Jonathan said. ‘No woman has ever been able to resist my charms.’
‘Let’s not go there,’ Anna shot back. Much as she liked Jonathan, there was still his past to consider, after all. She couldn’t write off the hurt he’d caused Matthew quite so easily.
‘Fair enough.’ Jonathan shook his head. ‘But at least you’re smiling again.’ He picked up Anna’s right hand and traced a playful pattern on her palm. ‘And it’s bound to really be annoying my brother, seeing you smile because of me.’
Anna’s stomach fluttered again. ‘I keep telling you, that’s not why I’m here.’
‘I know, darling, but it can’t hurt, knowing he’s going to be really jealous of me right now.’
‘I just wish he’d talk to me. I don’t want to have to force a reaction out of him.’
‘Sometimes he needs to be forced,’ Jonathan said gently. ‘Over the years he’s got so used to burying his head in the sand whenever something happens he can’t handle. He’s got to learn to face up to things.’
‘I’m not sure if this is the way to do it,’ Anna said doubtfully. She glanced around the marquee until her eyes came to rest on Matthew’s dinner-jacket clad back. The memory of his naked shoulders under her hands, his muscles moving in rapturous ecstasy as they made love, was so fresh it made her fingertips tingle.
‘He’ll come round.’ All levity was gone from Jonathan’s voice now, and as Anna’s gaze returned to him from his older brother, she saw in his face that he was sincere.
‘I wish I knew what I’d done wrong,’ she said. ‘But he won’t even level with me.’
‘Now’s definitely not the time, darling,’ Jonathan said gently. ‘You’ve had the best part of a bottle of champagne and Matthew’s been on the Scotch since he got here.’
Anna nodded. ‘You’re right. Perhaps I’ve done my bit for tonight. Will you take me home?’
Jonathan smiled, and again, Anna understood why he was irresistible to most women. Impossibly good looks combined with the ability to make you feel as if you were the only interesting person in the world were a seductive combination. But it was a studied seduction; while Matthew seemed oblivious of the devastating effect of his charisma and striking looks, Jonathan knew all too well the way he could turn women to liquid in his palms.
‘Everything all right, lovely? Within reason?’ Jonathan had noticed her studying him, and put a gentle hand on her arm.
‘Just thinking,’ Anna replied.
‘About what?’
‘About how you’re so not my type, but I like you anyway!’
Jonathan looked affronted. ‘I don’t know which way to take that.’
‘Just take me home,’ Anna said. ‘And if you’re lucky, I’ll make you a cup of tea.’
‘How could I refuse such an offer?’ Jonathan looked skywards for a second, then quickly scanned the marquee. ‘I can’t see Meredith, but I don’t think she’ll miss us if we slope off. I’ll just nip outside and see if she’s about. Back in a tick.’ Jonathan headed off through the marquee.
Grabbing her handbag from where she’d dumped it on the nearest table, Anna wondered if Pat would be surprised she was back home so early; Jonathan had been breezy in his assurances that it would be midnight before they returned. Anna was sure she hadn’t misinterpreted the look of concern on Pat’s face when she’d seen Jonathan at the cottage door earlier that evening, and Anna hoped she’d get the chance to clarify things with the woman who’d been so kind and supportive of her. After checking her phone for any messages, she zipped up her bag, turned back around and went slap into Matthew.
Close up, Anna could see how the granite had eroded. The dinner jacket looked too big for him, and his eyes were shadowed. But the anger he exuded was enough to make up for any diminution; it gave him an air of menace that unnerved Anna and made her want to bolt like some terrified animal.
‘I suppose you’re proving a point tonight,’ he said gruffly. ‘By parading around with my brother.’
Anna swallowed. ‘I wanted to be here to support Meredith. I promised her I would be.’
‘How very noble of you.’ Matthew took a sip of his fast-emptying whisky glass. Anna could see his eyes were darkened from the effects of the booze, looking almost black in the dim light of the marquee. ‘There I was, thinking Jonathan had put you up to it.’
‘I can’t do this now, Matthew,’ Anna said wearily.
Finishing his glass, Matthew shoved it away from him on the table. ‘Heaven forbid we should upset the applecart on a night such as this.’ He looked around, the scorn evident in his eyes and his voice. ‘I mean, what would people think?’ The throng of braying villagers, all in various states of inebriation, continued about their business, but one or two glances were thrown their way from time to time. Never had village life felt more claustrophobic.
‘I should go before we both say something we might regret.’ Anna’s voice sounded braver than she felt.
‘Oh, please,’ Matthew said. ‘I think we’re long past the saying something we might regret stage of things.’
‘Believe me, I’ve wanted to talk, and to listen,’ Anna’s temper flared, despite the fact she knew th
at Matthew’s words stemmed from having at least one drink too many. ‘And I’ve tried to understand until my brain has tied itself in knots. But you know the one thing I don’t get, Matthew? How you could just close off from me, when all I wanted to do was be there for you.’
‘Oh Christ, Anna,’ Matthew’s eyes were cavernous, tortured, and as Anna met his gaze, full on, for the first time in weeks, she was sure she could see conflict and uncertainty. Then, as quickly as it had happened, Matthew seemed to close off from her again. ‘I wish you well of Jonathan,’ he said brusquely. ‘Perhaps you’ll be able to hold onto him longer than Tara did.’
‘Wh-what?’
‘If you get lucky, he might even stick around in the morning.’
‘I just wanted to come for Meredith tonight,’ Anna stammered, at a loss as to why Matthew’s mood had switched back so suddenly.
‘I’m sure you did.’
‘Why are you doing this? You know how I feel about you. Please…’ Anna’s frustration turned to anger as she saw Matthew’s lip curl in scorn.
‘I’m sure Jonathan will provide you with a more than adequate shoulder to cry on. And whatever else you want.’
‘Poor show, big brother.’ Jonathan’s voice broke through their exchange. He handed Anna a glass of champagne and took a swig of his own. ‘You know as well as I do it’s not like that.’
‘I don’t know anything anymore.’ Matthew turned abruptly, knocking over a chair to the right of him. ‘And I’ll thank you to stay out of situations that don’t concern you.’
‘No can do, I’m afraid.’ Jonathan interposed himself between Anna and Matthew. ‘Anna came here with me tonight, and I’m going to make sure she gets home without incident as well.’
Matthew snorted. ‘That would be a first. You’ll be telling me next you’re going to walk her to her door and then leave.’
‘And what’s it to you, anyway?’ Jonathan’s voice raised a notch. ‘You’re the one who fucked up your own relationship, Matt, you didn’t need me to do it for you this time. Why the hell should you care?’
‘You know I do! That’s precisely why you brought Anna here tonight.’
‘That’s as maybe, but you’re hardly making things better, are you? Now if you don’t mind, I need to get this lovely lady home before I turn into a pumpkin.’
‘We’re not finished,’ Matthew growled.
‘We are,’ Jonathan countered. ‘Come on, lovely, let’s get your coat.’
‘Oh, fuck off, and leave us alone.’ Matthew took a step towards Anna, but Jonathan stood his ground.
‘I don’t think so.’ Taking Anna’s arm, Jonathan went to lead her away. As he did so, Matthew’s fist swung towards him. Without missing a beat, Jonathan stepped out of the way. Matthew overbalanced, righting himself just in time before he hit the ground.
Beckoning to Patrick Flanagan, who was hovering like a guard dog a few feet away, Jonathan put his other arm around Anna. ‘Paddy, can you get Matthew home before Meredith has the misfortune of seeing him?’
‘Will do. Come on, old chap. Time to call it a night.’
‘Anna, I’m sorry, please, listen to me.’ It was as if all the fight had left Matthew as he realised what he’d done.
‘Not tonight.’ Patrick guided Matthew away.
‘I knew I shouldn’t have come,’ Anna whispered.
Jonathan gave her a wry smile. ‘It won’t hurt him to be reminded of what he’s lost. He needs to learn he can’t keep making decisions for everyone around him. And he’s going to have a terrible headache in the morning.’ He squeezed her shoulder and pulled her close for a second. ‘As for whether or not you see him again after this, that’s up to you, darling. Shall I walk you home now?’
Anna nodded and allowed herself to be escorted from the marquee.
Ten minutes later, when they arrived at the doorstep of Pippin Cottage, Jonathan gave her a light-hearted bow. ‘My lady.’
‘Thanks for seeing me home.’
‘A pleasure, as always.’ Gently, he leaned forward and kissed Anna on the cheek. ‘You might reconsider about really giving Matthew something to be jealous about. It’d be great fun, I promise you.’ He gave her a wink.
‘You’re sweet, Jonathan, but I prefer my men darker and a little more brooding.’
‘I could always dye my hair,’ Jonathan quipped.
‘Just be my friend,’ Anna said. ‘You’re good at that.’
‘Really? That’s the first time I’ve heard that from a woman.’
‘You should try it more often,’ Anna replied. ‘You might get to like it.’
‘For you, anything. Sweet dreams.’ Smiling down at her, his face suddenly seeming much younger in the moonlight, he kissed her hand and headed off into the night.
46
‘Haven’t I said goodbye to you once already?’ Matthew growled as he opened Cowslip Barn’s front door. ‘I thought it was Meredith.’
‘Well, you’d better let me in and give me some of that Scotch,’ Jonathan replied tersely. ‘Otherwise I’m going to camp out on the doorstep until my niece does get home.’
Saying nothing, but opening the door to admit his brother, Matthew walked unsteadily back to the living room. Jonathan pushed the door closed, putting it on the latch in case Meredith had forgotten her key.
‘So why are you being such a total twat, then, big brother?’
‘I’m not the twat making moves on his brother’s woman again.’
‘Oh, come off it,’ Jonathan snapped. ‘You know it’s not like that so stop acting like a kicked puppy. It doesn’t suit you. Now answer the fucking question.’
‘You wouldn’t understand,’ Matthew replied.
‘Try me.’ Jonathan helped himself to a glass of Scotch.
‘Not a chance. And if all you’re going to do is grill me, you can bugger off.’
‘Don’t you think it’s about time you talked to someone?’ Jonathan took a gulp of his whisky.
‘Nothing to talk about,’ Matthew grunted. ‘And if I was going to have a cosy chat, it certainly wouldn’t be with you.’
‘Well, Dad did volunteer to come over a couple of days back, but I didn’t think he’d get much out of you.’ Jonathan positioned himself in the other chair by the fireplace.
‘I warned you,’ Matthew growled. ‘This is not the time for a reconciliation.’
‘I’m not here on my own behalf. I know better than that.’
‘Then why are you here?’
The silence hung between them. Matthew’s hand was clenched so tightly around his Scotch tumbler that the crystal creaked in protest.
‘Anna doesn’t know what she’s done wrong, Matthew. All she knows is that since Meredith was in that accident, you’ve backed off from her, and she’s confused. She thinks… she thinks you blame her for Meredith being injured.’
Matthew drew in a sharp breath. ‘That’s madness.’
‘Mad or not, that’s how she sees it. She thinks if she hadn’t persuaded you to let Merry see that boy, Meredith would never have been in that car.’
‘And how the hell do you know?’
‘I’ve mastered something you never quite got around to,’ Jonathan shot back. ‘I actually learned to talk and listen to women.’
‘And we all know that talking’s only the start of it.’
‘Anna’s not Tara,’ Jonathan said flatly. ‘She’s better than that. We’re mates, that’s all. For some unfathomable reason, right now there’s only one man on her radar, and he’s currently drinking himself into an early grave.’
‘And I suppose you’ve been having all kinds of cosy chats about my inadequacies as a father, brother and lover, have you?’ Matthew said as his temper, ignited by exhaustion and too much whisky, began to flare. Standing abruptly, he swayed slightly from the head rush.
‘Not at all,’ Jonathan replied, staying seated. ‘She just needed to sound someone out who knows you well.’
‘You hardly fit the bill,’ the sarcasm was dripping
in Matthew’s voice. ‘The last time we had a cosy tête-a-tête was well over a decade ago.’
‘Some things, and some people, don’t change, and some do, Matt.’
‘Oh, and I suppose you’re now Galahad rather than Lancelot, are you? Forgive me if I’m not entirely convinced.’ Despite his exhaustion, Matthew started to pace the parlour.
‘Spare me the histrionics, Matt, I’m not here to go over old ground. It’s your future I’m here to talk about.’
‘Your concern for my welfare is touching but totally unnecessary. I don’t need your advice on my love life, or any other aspect of my life for that matter.’
‘Anna just wants to know why you’ve put so much distance between you. You owe her that, at least.’
‘It’s better that she… that she just thinks it fizzled out.’
‘You mean it’s better that she carries on blaming herself for Meredith’s accident?’ Jonathan, alert, stood up. ‘You’re just going to wash her away like the barrel dregs?’
‘I’m warning you, Jonathan,’ Matthew’s voice was stronger, but it was born of anger rather than assurance. ‘You don’t want to push this. Anna’s better off this way.’
‘Better off? Matthew, she’s dying of guilt. Can you live with yourself, knowing she’ll hold that forever?’
‘It’s not what you think. I need time to get to grips with it all.’
‘You’ve had time,’ Jonathan said brutally. ‘It’s been weeks since you’ve spoken properly to her. If you want to end things, for god’s sake have the balls to do it properly. Don’t leave her hanging on. You lost one woman because you refused to acknowledge there was a problem; are you prepared to lose another?’
‘Leave it,’ Matthew snapped, but the fight was going out of him.
‘Why don’t you try levelling with me, first?’ Jonathan said, his tone suddenly much gentler.
Matthew refilled his tumbler and then gulped back a large mouthful. Taking a deep breath, he looked Jonathan straight in the eye. ‘I can’t argue any more,’ he said, his voice raw. ‘Please, Jonathan, just go.’
‘Tell me why you’re doing this.’ Jonathan desperately wanted to reach out and put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, but he was still wary of the maelstrom of emotions between them, and even more wary of a punch in the face.