I had nothing more to give them.
I had nothing more.
I had nothing at all.
Not even a friend.
“That place is for a time when things are so dark that you cannot see the light coming through. That place is what we call a game changer, sweetheart. That means if there comes a time you when you need that place, everything about your life will have to change because you know it just is not safe for you and Claire to be in it any more. If and when that happens, you come to me.”
It had been twenty years since I had heard those words. In that time a whole lot of stuff had happened that had brought the dark raining all over Claire and me. That dark had been the stormy deep gray of a funnel cloud. The kind of dark that came with a warning bell. I had always been able to pull us back out of its oncoming path. I had always been able to move us toward the light at the end of it.
The stuff that was heading towards us now was thick and heavy. It enveloped us, blotting out the sunshine and making it hard to breath. I was lost in it and the more I tried to get us out, the more tangled we became. Or maybe I just couldn’t see it for what it was. Either way, it covered us, waiting to claim us. The deep dark cloak of the Grim Reaper and I was running out of time.
Game Changer. When Prosper warned me against that, I was 8 years old and had my whole life ahead of me. He was assuming that I would one day have something worth holding on to. I looked around me. Five rooms filled with a life lived, but not my life. We had inherited the house, and all that was in it. I hadn’t as much as put up a picture. Everything I owned could fit into a couple of suitcases.
Shit, it was still such a big step. I didn’t even know if Prosper was still alive. But I knew if I used that address, we would get help. No matter what, and since all this shit was coming from a charter of his club, there was a good chance that this could be sorted out.
Still. Big Step.
I sat down at the kitchen table to pour myself a cup of coffee and knocked the newspaper off the table. I bent to pick it up and saw the front page:
Local talent killed in Home Invasion. After a call was placed to 911 reporting a disturbance at the home of former minor league pitcher Jamie Ryan, he was treated by paramedics at the scene and was later pronounced dead at Point General Hospital. Robbery is the suspected motive.
I scanned the article looking for the date, and there it was. He had been beaten when we left him. I didn’t know how badly. Had they gone back and beaten more out of him? Oh my God, did they find out that Claire knew something? I felt sure that’s why Diego had come back to the house. He was going to murder Claire because of something that rat bastard Jamie had told him.
I knew it.
I just knew it.
Him leaving that money was what that was. I felt sure of it. Payment of a different color. He had tried to warn me that night. Something about my sister and me had made him pity us for maybe just long enough for me to get us safe from this. MAYBE.
Oh my God. They had killed Jamie. They were coming back to kill us.
I grabbed my one big suitcase and packed it full of everything that I owned. I threw on a pair of worn button fly jeans and light blue tee shirt. I pulled a brush quickly through my hair avoiding the tender parts and let it hang freely down my back. A pair of short black motorcycle boots were too heavy to pack, so I wore them. Any attempt to cover the bruises on my face with makeup would be pointless and just look garish. However, I hadn’t left the house without mascara and eyeliner since I was 11 years old so I gave myself a minute. I took a map from the drawer, and a beer from the fridge. I stuck aviator sunglasses on my head and car keys in my pocket. Then I walked out of my life and locked the door firmly behind me.
Chapter 11
Minutes after Diego left Raine, he hit the road. He had business that needed to be taken care of. Besides, he needed some time and distance to sort this out. He had held her in his arms half the night, for fuck’s sake. Really. He shook his head and tried to clear it.
He could still smell her. Everything about her smelled clean and good. He loved the feel of her thick dark hair. It had been unexpectedly soft and full when he buried his hands in it. None of that sticky hairspray shit for her. Her eyes were a deep blue, except when she was afraid or in pain, then they had turned almost violet. She was all woman that was for sure. Soft, and warm with long slim legs, and full breasts. She was a fucking beauty. When a woman like Raine entered a room, conversation stopped.
Not Diego’s usual type. He liked his women on the trashy side. He liked them in tight pants and tall heels, hair teased out to there. He liked them with lots of tits, lots of ass and lots of attitude. The kind of woman that you “rode hard and put away wet.” The kind that gave as good as she got. The kind of woman Diego took to his bed were what the MC called band aids. They were cheap, came in all sizes and shapes, they got the job done and were disposable.
He had been hitting a fine little band aid at his home chapter. Her name was Ellie and there wasn’t a soft thing about her. He wasn’t big into sharing so when he was around for a while, she was his. He had no idea who she was doing when he wasn’t around, and he didn’t give a shit. She worked every angle, any time she could to corral him in. Because they were not that and never would be, Diego didn’t put up with her trying to claim him. She pulled that jealous bullshit once and she hadn’t been invited back into his bed for a very long time. Diego knew the other women didn’t like her much and with good reason. For them, being invited into Diego’s bed was a win win. First part being obvious, second causing Ellie to go crazy green with jealousy.
But she had a willing mouth and could go all night. She was just the right amount of sass, and although he knew she had a crazy mean streak, he really didn’t give a shit. Ellie would be waiting for him at the club when he got there. She was always good for a mindless go at it, and that’s exactly what he needed. Maybe some good mind-numbing slamming would help to get his head out of his ass about Raine. Because the farther away he rode, the more he realized that getting involved with her would be a mistake. Men like Diego didn’t become involved with women like Raine. Women like Raine scared the fuck out of men like Diego. Women like that required an all-in kind of loving. Women like that were worth it.
He took his time going south and enjoyed the ride. He thought best when he was on the road and he had a lot to think about. His brothers were glad to see him when he finally arrived. After getting down to MC business, Diego had a good night. Both the news and the green he delivered were well received and cause to party big. Diego worked hard to drink Raine away. Ellie, sensing his mind was elsewhere, worked to keep Diego’s attention on her. Knowing what it took to keep him sated and satisfied, she gave Diego hours and hours of mind blowing very dirty sex. Still, she could sense something different and although she knew he didn’t like it, she couldn’t stop herself from holding on tight to him the next day. Diego didn’t seem to mind, which should have made her happy, but instead warning bells were going off in her mind.
Diego felt Ellie’s tits pushed against his arm as he drew a card from the deck. Normally it wouldn’t be happening, he had strict rules about that PDA shit from her. But he figured he owed her. She had literally fucked him raw. He was feeling pretty content. He had a pocket full of green, a belly full of some kick ass chili, a cold beer on the table and he was winning at Poker. Hell, he told himself, he had already begun to forget what Raine even looked like.
Diego had just drawn a royal flush. Yeah, things were definitely starting to look up. It felt good. Simple. Domestic beer, uncomplicated pussy, friendly card game with his brothers. He took a long swallow from the cold bottle. Amidst good natured groans, Diego pulled the winning chips towards him. He grinned as he started to deal out the next hand. As he casually glanced towards the door, the cards froze in his hand and a look of total disbelief crossed his face.
Raine Winston had just walked through the club house door of the South County Charter of the Hell’s Saints MC.
Chapter 12
It had taken me a lifetime to get to where I was going. I lost count of how many times I almost turned around. I measured the distance by remembering the milestones of my life. The good and the bad. I missed Claire and I wished she was with me. No one else would ever truly understand “what a long strange trip” it had been. I was glad that she was safe and getting the help she needed, but I had never felt so alone in my life and I needed her.
The thing was that I had held on to the “Safe Place” for so long it had taken on mythical proportions in my mind. No matter how bad things got, knowing that there was an out option for me had made me brave. Now I was heading straight long into it, what if it no longer existed or never had. What if my journey’s end brought me to an empty lot? What if it brought me to a place where something that once was, was no longer? With all the passing years, I had not doubted for a moment Prosper’s promise. But on that long lonely road, I was losing faith. Prosper had never lied to me though, and I couldn’t imagine him starting with something that had been so important. There would be something at the end of this road. I made myself be sure of that. I owed him that faith. I drove on.
Chapter 13
I parked in front of a long low building with a flat roof and no windows. A half dozen Harleys, a van and a couple of trucks were all parked in front. There was a flagpole flying an American flag and under it flew a flag with the Hell’s Saints insignia on it. So it was here. The safe place was an MC clubhouse. Of course it was. This wasn’t good. Not good at all. I wasn’t sure what I had expected but stupid me didn’t expect this. My safe place was the home plate of the shadow people of my childhood. Things had just gotten worse and my brave was on empty.
Then I pulled myself together, got out of the car and headed towards the door.
It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dim lights. When they did, I felt the impact of several feral eyes boring into me. The lamb who had just walked uninvited and alone into the lion’s den. The room was massive and was one long rectangle. It had a scarred oak bar that ran the length of it. There were a few pool tables in the back end of the room. Several worn couches lined the walls. In the middle of the room were various heavy wooden chairs and tables. Some round, some rectangle, some square. Most of them occupied. There was a few card games being played and lots of women whose choice of clothing screamed barely there, were draped on the men playing those games.
I felt sick inside. I didn’t want to be here and instantly knew I had made a mistake. This was no one’s safe place. The adrenalin screaming through my body set me in a fight or flight response mode. But I was tired of running so I figured I had better pony up and fight for me and Claire.
I looked straight ahead to the bar. Holy Shit. Now what? Taking a deep breath I walked towards it like I had a right to. Even though there was no one behind it, I thought that would be a good place to start.
I heard it.
Then it pounced.
The stuff of my nightmares. The thing that I had packed up all my earthly belongings to escape. My sister’s would be killer was barrel assing it towards me with hell to pay in his eyes. I was gonna have to high tail it out of my safe place. Thanks a lot Prosper.
“What the fuck, Raine?” Diego was on me before I had gone three steps. “You follow me here? You crazy? WHAT THE FUCK? PRIVATE PROPERTY BABE, NOT COOL.” His fingers were digging into my arm. He was dragging me to the door.
I pulled away from him. Sweet Jesus. I just driven all day trying to escape him and here he was. If I let him take me out that door it was going to be over for Claire and me.
“GET OFF OF ME.” I yanked back. Then I pushed him. Then I kicked at him.
He looked at me horrified and released his grip for a split second. I ran from him and instinctively looked for the biggest guy in the room to help me. Then I stood right in front of that guy.
“I’m looking for the man who’s behind the bar today.” My voice strong and clear. My body shaking.
Everyone just stared at me. It was awful. The stuff of nightmares. I tried again.
“I need to find the guy who is working the bar today.” I repeated desperately.
Diego came up behind me and I could feel his breath on my neck and he grabbed my arm again and started to yank again. Then big guy put his hand up in a stop gesture to Diego.
“This your woman, D?”
“NO, I’m not his woman. I need to talk to the guy who’s behind the bar today.” I was near hysteria.
No one answered. Not one person responded. Those were my magic Ali Babba Open Sesame words. I had played this scene over and over again in my mind. They were the words that held the key that unlocked the door to the safe place and no one was answering. God Help Me.
Diego started dragging me towards the door.
“You got business with me, darling?” A voice came from the back. I couldn’t see him, but thank you Jesus, I could hear him.
“I got this, Jules.” Diego still dragging me. Me still trying to scratch his eyes out.
“She’s got something to say.” The voice was getting closer but I still couldn’t see.
“She’s got something to say, she’s going to say it to me. Outside.” Diego said.
“No brother, ain’t happening. She’s not your woman. She came here looking for the man in charge and today that man is me. Taking into consideration that her face looks like somebody used it for a punching bag, and again, she asked for me, I’m going to hear the lady out. Because you know me 15 years, brother, you’re going to be okay with that. Because I know you fifteen years, I’m gonna assume you got nothing to do with the black and blue that she’s sporting.”
Diego stopped dragging me to the door, but to make up for it his fingers were a vice grip on my arm. The man belonging to the voice stepped out of the shadows. He was 6 ft. 5 inches easy. He had on a clean, white wife beater shirt under his cut. A black and silver belt was holding up his low riding, loose fitting jeans. He had muscles on top of muscles with a few muscles thrown in for good measure. His hair was blonde, long and loose around his face. A thin scar ran from the outer corner of his left eye to his mouth. He looked like a Viking God.
“That fifteen years, us knowing each other, just bought me not sticking a knife in your belly for that remark. You know me to ever hit a woman, Jules?” Diego hard and tense beside me.
“That’s why you got the assuming part friend.” Jules eyes were steely blue. “Now, little lady,” he turned to me. “What can I do for you?”
This was it. Make or break it. This was the game changing moment that it all depended on and I was running out of brave.
“I’m Raine, and I’m looking for Prosper.” I said it like it meant something.
Quiet, but not just quiet. Absolute dead silence.
Then “Holy Fuck” from someone at a table.
“Say again, sweetheart.” Jules stepped closer.
“My name is Raine, and I need Prosper.” Voice trembling, brave spilling on the floor.
Diego still clutching my arm. Quiet and furious.
Jules eyes were locked on mine. He broke away a millisecond to nod almost unperceptively towards the door. Then he was back on me.
“You’re gonna want to step back, Diego.”
“No fucking way, Jules.”
“She’s Prosper’s, man and you’re going to step away.” Jules crossed his arms in front of his chest.
“Prosper’s? You telling me Raine is Prosper’s old lady, Jules?” Diego held his ground.
“No, Diego, I’m telling you that Raine is Prosper’s family. And you want to get that vice grip that you got digging into her arm off. Brother.” Jules looked him in the eye.
“Prosper here?” Diego asked and I held my breath waiting for the answer.
Jules nodded once.
Diego didn’t let go but he visibly loosened the death grip. I tried to yank myself away from him.
He looked at Jules. “This doesn’t make sense man. Are
you telling me that Raine is family, as in daughter?”
“Not sure myself, brother. But there’s been a note hanging behind that bar for as long as I’ve been in the MC, and from what I hear longer than that. As far as anyone knows, it has been there a good twenty. That light outside? Shines all night long. Prosper pays that.”
“What’s the note say? Exactly?” Diego was looking at me.
My eyes were glued to Jules. Holding my breath.
“Note reads; Chick named Raine ever comes in that door looking for Prosper it means she needs safe. And she gets safe. If Prosper’s not here, he’s found. No matter where. No matter when. No matter what. Brother minding the store takes care of that. Prosper not around permanently whoever minding the store takes care then too.” Jules replied looking at Diego’s hand still on my arm.
“Look D, I see you got some kind of stake in this. But from my end, twenty years the brother has kept a light burning and the chick has not used that out. Now she shows up with a face that looks like a punching bag and you looking like you got something to do with it. I know you. I like you and I respect you. I’m asking you to step back, Diego.”
“You come here to be safe, Raine?” Diego’s eyes were on me, furious. “You come here because you feeling you’re not safe? Me coming to your house and fucking tending to your wounds. That shit was me keeping you safe. Me arranging it with the club so it’s settled. You keep the green and Claire gets a pass. You tell me you don’t think that’s me keeping you safe?”
“You setting me up, babe?” He dropped the hold on my arm.
I took a step away from him and reached into my pocket, anxiety so bad my whole body a mass of hard shaky movements. I shoved the money at him.
“You left this on the table.”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “Yeah, my point.”
“You brought it back. I got it for you. I got the shit beaten out of me to give it to you, to keep Claire safe.” I was heaving my chest ready to explode. I was confused and scared and my brain was still all what the fuck was the man I was running from doing in my safe place?
Game Changer (Hell's Saints Motorcycle Club) Page 5