“Get your hands off me.” I pushed at him.
“The fuck I will Raine.” he stepped in and now he was even closer. Great. Just great.
“I don’t want to do this now.” And I didn’t. So I pushed at him again to drive my point home. He wasn’t going to bully me.
“You don’t want to do this now? Really Raine? Is now not a good time for this?” He roared at me.
“You know when would have been a good time for this? Over two weeks ago when I almost banged down your door would have been a good time. But the shit she said, I figured I would give you that. Every day I called the club house or your cell would have been a good time. But you wouldn’t take my calls. You wouldn’t return my messages. So maybe it’s not a good time for you, but it’s a fucking great time for me” His eyes flashed.
I wasn’t liking this. Not one bit. But the alternative was to fight a battle I couldn’t win. I thought I might as well get this bullshit over with him once and for all.
“Okay.” I said to the top of his chest.
He let out a breath then and I felt the air around him change. Then he took a small step away from me. He moved his hand to my hair and gently pulled my face up to meet his eyes.
“Okay.” His eyes softened just a little. Mine didn’t.
We did the eye standoff thing for a few moments which I thought I might be winning. Then his eyes moved to my mouth and his hand shifted in my hair. This wasn’t good. Not good at all. This wasn’t me winning.
I hissed at him, “She overshared Diego. And when she was done oversharing, she called me a dirty little Indian whore. She gave that to me. All of it. She threw it at me. I had no clue it was coming and she threw that at me. And You. You didn’t do a thing to stop it. You knew what you had with her and you let her throw that at me.” I was heaving.
“Always knew she could be a raving bitch but didn’t know how deep that shit went with her. Woman like that in a place like that, safer to find out where her head was. Even if it meant you having to catch some of it.” Diego gave as way of explanation.
He was still way too close to me. He also had his head up his ass. Way up his ass.
“What you’re referring to as shit, Diego? That was love to her. That’s how deep that went for her. Two years? Two years and you didn’t know that was love to her?”
“Bullshit, Raine. Jesus, that was never even close to what that was. I knew it, she knew it. I made that clear. We both knew what that was.”
I just shook my head. Really?
So I tried to help him get his head out of that ass by saying this:
“There’s no making that clear to a woman that you have been ….” I was searching for the words and didn’t want to use her words.
“A woman I’ve been…?” Diego prompted.
“A woman you have been having relations with for two years.” I finished lamely.
He chortled. No really. He did. He chortled.
“Relations?” He smirked.
“Is that what we’re calling it now? Relations?” His eyes weredancing.
“For two years, whatever you want to call it, for a woman that means something.” I was not finding the humor.
Any woman knows that. And really most men do too. How he missed that I didn’t know.
“Shit.” He pulled his hand through his hair. “She said just about the same thing but not in the same way.”
Yeah I had a taste of what Ellie’s word choices were.
“Two years and she thought it was going one way and when it didn’t she fought for it the only way she knew how.”
“Would you have done that baby?” The way he said that, the way he looked at me when he said that, the way he moved closer to me when he said that, made my girlie parts tingle.
“Done what?” I told my girlie parts to calm down.
“Fought for it?” His tone was light and his hand was working its way through my hair and his other hand was on the side of my face. He leaned in.
He was being all sexy and flirty and light. But in my mind, it wasn’t the time to be sexy and flirty and light. A heart had been broken. Albeit a skanky slutty misguided heart. A heart that hadn’t anything like a vow, or a ring, or even a nod in the Happily Ever After or fidelity or the “your feelings are being returned” direction. Not even a heart I cared overly much about, but a heart nonetheless and that should not be taken lightly.
“I said it once, I’ll say it again. I don’t fight over men. I’m not that kind of woman.” I looked at him and made my eyes hard. Girlie parts at ease.
He took a step back then and gave me the once over. Slowly. From head to toe. “No, you aren’t that kind of woman. You’re the kind of woman men fight over, not the woman who fights over men.”
Wow. I didn’t know what to do with that. I didn’t want men fighting over me, and never knew a man who had.
“No, Diego. I’m not her either.” I took the opportunity to walk away from the wall and out of his space.
“Yeah Babe. You are.” Diego was standing away from me with his arms crossed over his chest. Tattooed biceps bulging, face watching me.
“Stop it.” He was making me uncomfortable.
“Babe, you walk into a room and conversation stops.” He pressed his point.
“You’re crazy.” I said softly.
“Not crazy, honey. You walked into that junkie’s kitchen and every brother in there, including me was ready to give you anything you needed to make it right for your sister. Later on when you walked into the clubhouse looking all lost and scared and beautiful, all eyes turned in your direction. Then you tossed your hair and smiled and every every single dick in that place got hard. Trust me on that.”
I shook my head in denial. He was whacked. And if he wasn’t whacked this wasn’t something I wanted to hear. It wasn’t a comfortable thought to think that dicks were getting hard at me back at the clubhouse.
He continued.
“Jules practically falls over himself every morning watching for you to come out so he can feed you. Crow, who I’ve never seen even look at any of the talent hanging at the MC, threw down for you.”
“Crow threw down for me? What does that mean?” I might have asked that too quickly.
Diego’s eyes got hard and a muscle jumped in his jaw. “What does what mean?” He repeated.
“You said Crow threw down for me.” I murmured.
“Means he made his interest known.” He answered carefully.
“He’s married.” I felt the heat rising to my face remembering the conversation.
“How do you know that, Raine?” Diego’s mouth got tight.
“He told me.” I moved away from him.
“Told you what?” He got closer to me again. Mouth tighter. Voice getting louder
“Told me he was married.” My voice got louder too.
“You been spending time with Crow?” He had a hold of my arm.
“Yes, Diego. Crow gave me a ride to work at Ruby Reds.” I pulled away. He held on.
“How?” He growled.
“How what?” I looked him.
“Raine, how did he give you a ride to work?” His eyes were hard.
“What do you mean?” I honestly was getting nervous and really confused.
“HOW DID HE GET YOU TO WORK?” He roared at me.
“ON HIS BIKE” I roared back.
Then all the air went out of the room “You have got to be shitting me right now, Raine.”
I didn’t say a word.
“What else?” he said deadly quiet.
Uh-oh. Big giant Uh-oh.
I took a minute. Because here we were again. Diego and I. We didn’t have conversations, we had verbal boxing bouts. Sometimes gloves on, sometimes gloves off. But there always seemed to have to be the knock out round and he always seemed to be the one eager to deliver it. He had me on the ropes again.
“What else what?” I took a breath.
“Raine.” He growled.
“Not much else, geez.�
� I attempted to pry my arm from him. “And by the way, where is Ellie?”
“Fucking dammit Raine, already told you that shit.” He was starting to breathing fire.
“What else?” He stepped in. Dragon fully awake.
“None of your…” I began.
“WHAT ELSE HAPPENED WHILE CROW HAD YOU ON THE BACK OF HIS BIKE?” he roared.
“WHERE IS ELLIE?” I shouted back.
Because really???
Really??
I hadn’t asked for any of this. His crazy bitch had started this whole thing and now he was yelling at me. No way. No fucking way. I was done with this. He could thump and stomp and roar all he wanted. This was on him. Not on me.
He scrubbed his hand over his face and visibly looked like he was trying not to put his fist through the wall.
“Ellie is fucking gone, Raine. Packed her shit into a greyhound bus and told her not to come back. Now answer my fucking question. RIGHT! FUCKING! NOW!!!” He punctuated that with a fist bang to the door by the side of my head and I jumped.
This wasn’t good and I was getting scared.
“Diego stop this” I said with the semblance of calm I had left.
He was having none of it. As a matter of fact, my calm just seemed to infuriate him more.
“Raine, you don’t want to mess with me on this. You. Do. Not. Now you got about ten goddamn fucking seconds to answer my question or I’m pushing you aside getting on my bike and riding straight to that clubhouse and putting a bullet in my brother for fucking with shit I already laid claim to. Unless you have something different to tell me in ten FUCKING SECONDS.
Oh for Christ sakes.
“NINE.” he roared.
“Diego,” I began.
“EIGHT.” another fist to the door by the side of my head.
“Stop this.” I yelled back.
“SEVEN.” His face was shouting in mine.
“Humph.” I was starting to shake. Something he already laid claim to?
“SIX.” He had his hands on my shoulders getting ready to move me away from the door.
“FIVE.”
Oh, Sweet Jesus. He wasn’t even close to kidding about this. His eyes were dark and the veins were popping out of his neck. His whole body was leaning into me and was rigid with anger. His biceps were pumped through with testosterone and primed to punch a hole through something.
“He kissed me.” I said quickly and before I ran out of brave I added, “And I kissed him back.”
Diego let go of me like I burned him. Then he took a step away. Then he took a deep breath. Then he took a minute. When the minute was over he asked carefully,
“What else?”
Something important was happening and I wasn’t stupid enough to miss that. I decided that a lot depended on what I said next. I knew Diego was seeing red and I didn’t want any bloodshed between brothers over an innocent kiss. And it had been innocent in all the ways that mattered.
He had laid claim to me. Diego had laid claimed to me.
I looked him straight in the eye and moved towards him slowly. Then I stood in front of him and put my hands out palms up in a gesture of surrender. I swirled the words around in my head a few times before I found the way to deliver them so they would make sense to this mad man standing before me.
“Nothing else Diego, not in the way you mean. What happened was that I found a friend. Or I thought I had found a friend And I needed one. Prosper was gone, Claire is gone, and you were gone. You left without saying a word. You left with Ellie and it hurt. I don’t know who she is to you. I only know who she thinks she is to you, but I don’t know what you think she is to you.”
And I don’t know who I am to you.
Then I continued as honestly as I could. My shoulders slumped and I was all of a sudden very tired.
“I didn’t ignore your calls, Diego. I didn’t ignore your messages. I was too afraid to take them. Too afraid I would fall apart when I heard your voice. I’m so tired of feeling that. So tired of feeling something only to have it taken away from me before I even understand what it is. Before it even has a chance to grow into something I can recognize.”
He wasn’t moving but, some of the anger had left his eyes so I thought that might be a good sign. I continued,
“I needed a friend. You went with Ellie. I still don’t know where you went or where you brought her or if she’s coming back. I don’t how you feel about what she said.”
“You don’t know because you wouldn’t pick up the goddam fucking phone Raine.” His eyes were hard on me again.
He wasn’t wrong, so I nodded in a way that he could take as agreement. “Crow and I share a heritage. We come from the same place in a lot of ways. I needed that and he gave it to me. Then he took it away. And that’s all that happened.”
And because I wanted to be very clear and I wanted to be very sure Diego understood I said, “I swear it. I swear nothing else happened between Crow and me.”
I waited then. I pulled my hands around me and held on tight. I felt like I might be losing something important that I never even had.It didn’t make sense but that didn’t stop it from aching.
“What do you mean he took it away?” He was watching my arms. The air shifted around him again and not in a completely bad way. But not in a completely good way either.
Oh geez.
“Diego, I don’t know. Do you really want to hear this?” I looked at him. He didn’t look insanely angry anymore. But while I knew honesty was the best policy, I didn’t want to go there with him.
“Raine, I really want to hear this.” His eyes went to my face then to my arms then back up to my face again.
I colored a deep red. I know I did because I felt hot from the inside out. This was humiliating. Holding on so tight my sides began to ache I searched around in my mind and came up with the words before I gave them.
“We were friends Diego. I’m guessing by your extreme reaction (I looked pointedly at him) that me riding on his bike must mean something different to you than it did to me. But honestly, it was fun. It was nice. He took me to Reds and he worked and Dolly worked and I worked. It felt normal and busy in a good way. I’ve not had normal and busy in a good way in a very long time. We got into a rhythm and that felt good.”
I looked at him and he was watching me hold on to myself in the way he had started doing.
“But after that kiss, I think he kind of regretted it. He told me he was married and not done with that. I think he wanted to take the kiss back and he couldn’t so instead he took back the friendship. That made me sad. And that’s all of it.”
He looked at me and nodded. Then he moved towards me and wrapped his hands around the back of my head gently. He looked me in the eye and said, “He didn’t regret it baby. No one could have that from you and regret it.”
Uh-oh.
Then he leaned in and went to put his mouth against mine. When he did my lips clamped together. As much as I wanted this, I should not want this. This wouldn’t be good for me. This could prove my undoing. This was something that if it started again and stopped again I don’t know if I could recover from it. This could hurt. Big Time.
So I turned my head and clamped my lips shut.
“Raine.” He was nuzzling against my jaw.
I shook my head and put my hands up to push him away. But, oh my God, I wanted him too. His lips on my neck made me tremble all over. I loved his smell. I breathed in deep, felt my nipples pucker and my legs get weak. I felt aching deep inside my belly and below. And it was building. I was trying my best to resist him. I really was. But I wanted him.
He looked at me and tucked his two fingers under my chin.
He said softly, “Not this shit again with you, Raine. Give me your mouth, dammit. Last time I’m gonna ask, last time I’m going to be fucking nice about it. In about one minute you give it to me or not I’m going to take it and it will not just be my tongue that I’ll be putting down your throat, babe.” His mouth so close to mine I cou
ld almost feel his lips brushing against mine.
“Jesus Diego. Could you be any more disgusting?” I pushed at him.
But really I wanted his tongue down my throat. I wanted his hands in my hair. I wanted to feel his warm hard body covering me. Oh yes I did.
And by the hungry look in my eyes, my guess is he knew it.
*****
It had taken every ounce of restraint for Diego to stop himself from putting his fist through the door. He was going to fucking kill Crow. And he was not too happy with Raine either.
Then when he saw her go all soft and dewy, her eyes bright with tears, it took everything he had not to rip every stitch of clothing off her beautiful silky skin and bury himself so deep inside her that she would have no fucking doubt who she belonged to.
Fucking Crow going there. He would deal with that shit when he got back. Thank fucking everything holy that Crow didn’t get his shit up in his woman. He owned that sweetness and that ass wipe fucking knew it. Whatever stopped him from making his play for Raine was a damn good thing. Crow would be pissing in a bag for the rest of his life, Diego ever catches him up in Raine again. Yeah, he was going to have a fuckin’ man to man with his brother Crow.
But for now he was going to focus on her. He had her up against the door, her heavy tits heaving her nipples peeking out of that shirt like someone was calling their goddamn name. He felt the heat radiating from her so damn hot that he knew her pretty little panties must be drenched right through. And this was all for him. He owned that. All of it. Whether or not she wanted it to be that way, he owned every inch of that soft wet pulsing honey.
Time to get down to business. Time to let all that honey know where she belonged.
“Yeah baby,” He said. “I actually can. I can be a lot more disgusting. As a matter of fact, I’m reigning in a whole fucking shitload of disgusting. Been reigning it in since the day you and those big beautiful eyes walked into that shit hole of an apartment looking so scared and lost and brave that I had to fight to stop myself from taking you right there in front of my brothers and your sister and her jacked up fucking boyfriend. I been wanting to be balls deep in you since I first laid fucking eyes on you, baby. Now you’re telling me that fucking Crow almost beat me to that? I’m fighting with everything I’ve got to reign in disgusting.”
Game Changer (Hell's Saints Motorcycle Club) Page 13