And my child would feel warm and safe and secure in the seeing of it.
My child would not be afraid.
Chapter 68
Claire and I stood on the edge of the road and waited for them. Holding on tight to each other like we always had
It was going to be okay. We were safe. We were together and help was on its way. We were golden.
I looked at Claire and started laughing. “Little sister, I am so relieved I think I just peed my pants.”
She looked at me smiling too.
“Seriously?”
Then I felt a deep pain in my belly that doubled me over.
“Raine, you okay?” Claire was holding on to me.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Except, I don’t think that was pee.” I was trying not to panic.
“That’s okay, it’ll be okay.” Claire was looking at me.
Then she really looked at me.
“Oh my god Raine, do you think your water just broke?” I could hear the rising panic in my sister’s voice.
I nodded.
“But it’s too early.” Claire was really scared now.
I looked at her, feeling that panic too.
Because she was not wrong. The baby was coming and it was too early.
And for the first time in a long time. I started to pray.
Chapter 69
They were waiting. They were pacing. They were waiting and pacing and filling up the small room with their big bodies. Their inked biceps flexing as they brought cups filled with strong coffee and splashes of a little somethin’ somethin’ from the flasks they kept hidden on the insides of their worn leather cuts.
And they were scared. Prosper could see it in their faces, could feel it in the way they moved. They were frightened for Raine.
He looked around him. His boys. They were like caged jungle cats. Revved up on strong coffee and hard liquor, trying to keep themselves checked and on their best behavior waiting on the arrival of Raine and Diego’s baby.
Raine’s first baby.
Maggie would have been proud. Prosper couldn’t help but think of her. She would have been so proud of Raine.
And of Claire. That one had turned out to be a little fire brand, she sure had. Still waters…….yeah, in Claire’s case, they sure as hell ran deep.
The first thing she had done, the very first thing she had done, after they had gotten Raine safely to the hospital had been to move toward Diego and hit him.
Hard.
Claire had walked up to Diego and without a word had slapped him so hard that the sound had echoed against the cold tiles of the hospital waiting room.
Dolly had gasped and Reno made a move to stand in front of Claire. Diego put his hand out to halt him.
She had let them have their reunion. Had let them have their hugs and kisses and had allowed Diego to show Raine how worried he had been.
Claire had kept herself in check for hours.
Little sister had stepped aside while Diego had pushed passed her to ride in the ambulance with Raine.
She had listened respectfully and intently with him while Dr. Gideon had explained the risks of delivering the baby a month early.
Then, when she was sure it was all said and done. When she was sure that everything was stable and in place and working towards the good, she had walked up to Diego and slugged him.
Without a damn word, the little bit of a thing had let him have it and she had to stand on tip toes to do it.
She cracked him so hard that Prosper, sitting across the room, had felt it.
Everyone had held their breath.
“That’s for….” Claire began.
“I know what that’s for Claire and I fucking deserve it. Have at it. You might as well get it all out because I ain’t going anywhere and when Raine and my baby get on the other side of this, I don’t want anything getting in the way of us being a family. And I get that you being okay with this is a big part of her being happy. I get that my woman, my baby… you come with that.”
“Damn right” She said to him.
Then she looked at him hard. “You in this?”
“All the way.” Diego replied.
“You know Diego, what’s gonna happen in that room, that baby being born, that’s just the beginning of it. You showed up today. That’s one day. One day. Being a father, that means showing up every day.”
Then her eyes narrowed. “I know what happened to you before.”
The whole room held their breath at that and Reno placed his feet wide apart, getting ready to lunge between D and Claire if it came to that. Claire was going for it, and after what D had been through in the past twenty hours Reno wasn’t sure how he was going to react to Claire bringing it all up. But then, his girl had been through some crap, too. D was right, better she get it out.
Prosper folded his arms over his big chest. Shit had to be said, he thought to himself.
So he let Claire continue, “And I’m sorry for it. But it’s done. It’s over. I pray to God it never happens again to you or anyone you love but the truth is, Diego, it could. Getting passed this day, that’s the first part. Babies, they get sick. They puke and get ear infections and have been known to cry at ear splitting decibels for hours at a time.”
She took a moment to let that sink in, then she said, “And you cannot, cannot fall apart on them every time that happens because of letting those old memories get in the way. Later on, kid falls off a swing, or a bike, or a goddamn highchair, you gonna be there to catch that fall, Diego? You going to be able to get passed that old grief and man up?”
Whoa! At man up half the brothers in the room unwound their crossed arms and legs and stood straight up.
Prosper raised an eyebrow. Reno tensed.
“Because Diego, Raine and I we were raised by a man who could not get passed his grief. And I cannot even begin to count the many, the very many ways that it sucked. This baby does not deserve that. You don’t think you have it in you, you have one shred of doubt of what you feel for my sister and this baby, better you leave now. Because if you stay, I am going to be there every step of the way making sure you do “what the good daddies do.” At that she looked at Prosper.
Then back again at Diego. “I need you to be what we never had. I need you to be that for Raine, I need you to be that for the baby. And I need you to be that for me. Because I have got to tell you Diego, I am getting really fucking exhausted.”
Then she slumped forward just a little bit.
Reno was all over that, but Prosper put out his hand and stopped him.
Diego’s eyes went soft when he saw Claire finally let herself feel the tired. When he answered her, he did it from his heart.
“I love her, Claire. I love that baby. And even though you are a little pain in the ass, I love you too, little sister. So yeah, I am here. For the puking and the falls and the infections. For the croup and the nightmares. I am there for the first day of kindergarten and the first day of college. I am there on Saturdays and Sundays and every day in between. I am there every night and every fucking morning. I am there.”
“That good enough for you little sister?” Diego was looking at her.
Claire looked at Diego long and hard.
Well, finally.
Yeah, that was good enough for her.
Dr. Gideon came bursting through the swinging doors.
“Ready to come help me deliver that baby, son?” The good doctor twinkled.
And he was. Oh hell, yeah. Diego was.
Epilogue
It was Willow’s second birthday. We had decided to celebrate it together with the housewarming of our newly built home up on the grassy knoll beside the little stream. Crow and Diego had begun drawing up the plans right after Willow’s birth. The house was made of stone and timber. It was beautifully rustic and filled with large windows that let in lots of natural light.
The house sat in the middle of the meadow where I had made love to Diego and had thanked the heavens for sending him to me.
And I still gave thanks for him. My beautiful bad man who had given me this perfect little dark haired, blue eyed baby girl. Willow Magaskawee Montesalto was a happy, chubby baby and the apple of her father’s eye.
We had been married as soon as our whole little family had been up to it. The birth of the baby had gone quickly, but Willow had been small and had needed some extra time in the hospital. Diego and I had kept a constant vigil. I honestly believed that I heard the entire nursing staff heave a collective sigh of relief when little Willow had been released.
Diego kept his word to Claire. He did what the good daddies do and he did it all the time. He left us only once and that was to go to Nevada. He had stopped at the florist and brought Janey and his son a beautiful bouquet of flowers. He also brought the ring that was now too small for him, the one he had kept in his wallet under the only picture he had left of Janey. He took the picture and the wedding ring, buried them deep in the soil below the gravestone, placed the flowers lovingly on top and said his goodbyes. He had explained to me that it was not the memory of them he was saying goodbye to, but the crippling fear that had risen from their ashes and had almost destroyed him.
Then he had come home to Willow and me. That night he planted the seed of our next child deep within me. I rubbed my round little belly lovingly. Willow would have a baby brother or sister in the fall. I could not be happier.
It had been a good couple of years for the brotherhood. The deal that Prosper had been working on came through and had proven as lucrative as he had known it would be. Apparently, the Italians had been instrumental in seeing it through. Gianni’s crew had worked alongside the Saints on a couple of deals since then. In an odd turn of events I had met Gianni’s family and I had liked them.
I knew the incident with Manny and Ellie had put a crimp in the alliance. I had been out of my mind would fear that Manny would exact revenge on Claire or me or even Willow for Ellie’s death. Claire had the same fear. But Prosper had reassured us that he had taken care of it. While I was afraid of what that had meant, I was also relieved. God help me.
The MC had used the money to move towards more legitimate enterprises and they were all taking off. The brothers were rolling deep in green. Life was good
Claire and Glory had stayed on at the lake house and although the past couple of years had thrown them a few curves, they were holding their own.
Things between Claire and Reno got complicated, then simple then complicated again. I was not quite sure where they stood.
Glory had slowly revealed more and more of her story but still kept her secrets. She still spent a lot of her time at the lake. A lot of that that time was spent with Jules.
Dolly and Pinky spent a whole lot of time spoiling Willow.
*****
Dusk was setting in and the boys had begun to stoke the fire in the pit. Prosper was playing Seger on his harp. Crow, Reno and Jules were setting up the deck table for a poker game. Dolly, Claire, Pinky and Glory were beginning to clean up from the cake and presents.
Willow was rubbing her sleepy little eyes with her chubby fist. I picked her up from the middle of her cache of new toys. She held onto me sleepily until she saw her daddy. Then she tried to wiggle out of my arms reaching for him. He smiled lovingly at her and took her from me. Together we walked with her into the house. I watched as Diego washed her little hands and face, changed her diaper and put her into her little pajamas. It always amazed me to see how much he loved doing both the “mommy and daddy” things for her. I settled into the rocking chair and he handed her to me. I snuggled her little body against me. Softly singing, I fed her from the bottle. Diego kissed me, then her and moved to the door.
I stayed with Willow, holding her in my arms long after she had fallen asleep. I rocked her lovingly watching the light of the shadow people dancing on the warm wood patina of the light pine.
I watched as the silhouettes caught in the firelight, casting long shadows on my daughter’s walls.
I looked at her sleeping peacefully under the dancing images, satisfied that she had nothing to fear.
I kissed her softly, placed her in her warm safe crib and gently closed the door.
Then I went to find my husband.
Game Changer (Hell's Saints Motorcycle Club) Page 29