by Vivian Wood
Just like she wanted.
Chapter Ten
The weekend before the Fourth of July, the entire Thornton clan and their various significant others rented a boat to celebrate Caleb’s thirty-fourth birthday. Caleb had told Megan he didn’t want anything big, but she’d decided that he should definitely have a party. Not only to celebrate his birthday, but to celebrate his promotion at work.
When Caleb and Megan got on the boat, everyone yelled “Surprise!” when they walked to the stern. Caleb jumped a little and then laughed.
“Happy birthday!” Megan kissed him with a smacking sound, and Seth was amused to notice his brother blushing a little.
“Didn’t I tell you I didn’t want a party?” Caleb shook his head, but he looked pleased nonetheless. “How did you manage to plan this without me knowing?”
“Oh, a woman never tells her secrets,” Megan demurred.
That resulted in laughter all around, and then the drinks were being poured. Since Harrison had rented the boat, they had a captain to make certain the boat didn’t go anywhere it shouldn’t, which really just meant everyone could drink to their heart’s content.
Seth grabbed a beer from the cooler and watched his siblings—Harrison with his wife, Sara; Caleb with his wife, Megan; Mark with his wife, Abby; Lizzie with Trent (and Bea, as she couldn’t be away from Lizzie very long), and then Jubilee. Megan had also invited Trent’s brother, Ash, and his sister, Thea; and then, to Seth’s utter delight, there was Heath DiMarco, glaring at him from the top deck.
Seth had heard someone mention Rose’s name and that she’d been invited, but she’d apparently declined to attend.
Of course she had. He drank his beer with quick gulps.
Lizzie, with Bea in a front pack, came over to Seth and looked up. Then she whistled.
“Did you kill his dog?” she asked semiseriously. “Oh, wait—is this about Rose?”
Seth didn’t answer.
He hadn’t seen Rose in days following their night together, only hearing her door open and close when she arrived home. They’d briefly run into each other yesterday, but she’d stuttered something random and hurried away. He’d been this close to pulling her into his apartment and demanding answers.
After their night together, he’d thought—what? That they’d make things official? He didn’t know what their relationship even was. He did know, however, that he would keep her safe no matter what she said or did. His blood boiled at the mere memory of what that asshole Johnny had done to her.
“It’s complicated,” Seth finally replied when Heath turned away to talk to Harrison.
“Hmm, isn’t it always?” Lizzie crooned to Bea, “Your uncle Seth is so mysterious, isn’t he? I bet he’d tell his favorite niece all his secrets.”
Seth smiled. Looking at Bea’s bright blue eyes and toothless smile, he definitely couldn’t deny that assertion. He’d do anything for this little girl. She had everyone wrapped around her tiny pinky.
“Here, can you hold her? I need to go to the bathroom.” Lizzie handed him Bea with a bright smile before he could protest.
Not that he’d say no. In the passing weeks since Bea’s birth—she was three months old now, wasn’t she?—he’d gotten more comfortable around her. She was an easy baby to like, though. Lizzie had been shocked when not only did Bea sleep through the night most nights, but she was only fussy when she was hungry or tired or wet. The usual kinds of reasons to fuss.
Right now, Bea reached up to grab Seth’s nose. Her fingers were wet and she smelled like baby powder, but Seth’s heart did that annoying twist that it always did when he held his niece.
Who knew someone so small could affect your life so profoundly?
“What do you think I should do?” he murmured to Bea as he took her to look out over the stern. The lake was bright and shining, and it was a perfect day for boating. Seagulls flew about, cawing, and he watched as one flew down to catch a fish near the surface of the water. Seth pulled Bea’s sun hat further down so the sun wouldn’t hurt her eyes. Should she wear sunglasses? Did babies wear sunglasses?
Bea didn’t have an answer for him, but just cooed and squealed when another seagull dove into the water.
“I think she’s running from me, but I don’t know why,” he said. “It’s like she tells me one thing and does another.” He sighed, long and low. “Any other woman, I’d assume she was playing games and would move on.”
He said that, yet he knew Rose wasn’t like other women. He knew this wasn’t some game with her, but did he have the patience—and the ability—to overcome whatever was haunting her?
Seth was certain there was more to her story with Johnny than she’d let on. All kinds of horrible things had wandered into his mind, and by the time the sun had risen after he’d returned to his apartment the night they’d been together, he’d been close to wanting to find Johnny and kill him himself.
“Do you think I should keep trying? Not give up on her?”
Bea patted his cheek, gurgling some nonsense, but Seth took that as a yes.
You’re not going to be rid of me that easily, hummingbird. I swear it.
“I’m back. Oh goodness, what a happy baby you are.” Lizzie held out her arms for Bea, and Seth gave her back a little reluctantly. “What were you two talking about?”
“Nothing you need to hear about.”
She rolled her eyes. “Try again. Otherwise I’m going to follow you around throughout this entire party until you spill.”
Seth considered. He wasn’t about to tell Lizzie about Rose, but he hadn’t mentioned Sergeant Loyd calling him and about his offer. In all honesty, he’d barely thought about returning to active duty with everything happening with Rose lately.
“My CO called me,” he said. He watched Lizzie’s face, but his twin sister didn’t betray any agitation at this pronouncement.
“What did he want? Something paperwork-related?”
Seth ran his fingers through his hair. “No, not exactly. He has a job for me.”
“A job. For you.”
“He wants me for a mission that’s coming up, and he said if I agree, he can get me back on active duty by the fall.”
Lizzie’s eyes widened. “Seth, are you serious? When did he call and tell you this?”
“Um, two weeks ago?”
“Seth!”
“I know, I know. I’ve had a lot on my mind.” It was a lame excuse, but there it was.
He winced as he saw the hurt on Lizzie’s face. They’d always told each other everything, and although they’d drifted apart, he knew she’d hoped they could return to how they used to be. She’d told him all about her troubles with Trent and her music career, yet he hadn’t had the courage to reciprocate.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Really. I just don’t know how to answer.”
“Say no!” She touched his arm and said more quietly, “That last mission almost killed you. You lost your best friend. What happens if this tour ends up being your last?”
He had thought the same, but he didn’t want to admit it. Patting her hand, he said, “It won’t be, Lizard. I haven’t given Sergeant Loyd an answer yet, either.”
That didn’t seem to console her. In fact, it made her expression even sadder. “You’re going to take it, aren’t you?”
No. I don’t know. Maybe. What am I if I’m not a soldier? He struggled to explain, but right then, Caleb came up to them with three beers in hand.
“Hey, what are you two doing? Lizzie, you can drink, and Seth, you can definitely drink. It’s my birfday! No, birthday. Hmm, drinking.” He took a slug of beer and wandered off to bug some other people.
That interlude broke the tension, and Lizzie and Seth laughed. Then with a conspiratorial smile, Lizzie whispered, “Did you notice that Sara isn’t drinking?”
“No, why would I?”
“You’re such a guy. Think. You think she’s pregnant?”
The last thing Seth had ever considered was whether or not o
ne of his brothers’ wives was pregnant, but it wouldn’t surprise him. The Thorntons enjoyed their spouses; ergo, babies would inevitably result.
“Harrison does seem extra happy lately,” Lizzie mused.
Seth frowned. “Really?”
“Oh my God! Yes! Come on, Seth, pay attention.”
“I am,” he mumbled before finishing off his beer.
“I’m surprised she hasn’t said anything. Maybe they’re waiting.”
“Lizard, why in God’s name would I know anything about it?”
Both she and Bea gave him disgusted looks, although Bea’s might have just been from gas.
“I’m going to go talk to Megan and see if she knows anything. Go make sure Caleb doesn’t fall overboard.”
The party continued through the afternoon: Caleb declared his love for Megan in front of everyone (to both her delight and her embarrassment) and then proceeded to seduce her. She then ran away, with him stumbling after her. Harrison and Sara didn’t drink at all, which made Seth think Lizzie’s supposition was correct. Harrison was probably abstaining out of solidarity—or because Sara had told him that was his payment for her being the one to give birth.
Even Mark got a little tipsy, which resulted in him and Abby laughing together in some corner like a couple of teenagers. Seth couldn’t believe the change in Mark since Seth had returned from overseas. Where had his brusque older brother gone? Clearly Abby had done something miraculous to get him out of his shell. Seth had thought for a long time that Mark only loved his horses. At least now he loved his horses and Abby.
Trent carried Bea around so Lizzie could have a break, and Trent’s siblings, Ash and Thea, took turns holding their niece. Bea loved people, and she didn’t mind being held by just about anything human. That girl’s going to break hearts, Seth mused as he watched Ash fall in love with Bea even further when she grabbed his chin.
One person, however, made a point to avoid Seth entirely: Heath. And considering that Seth didn’t feel like having a rehash of their issues with each other, Seth avoided Heath as well. They circled each other like wild dogs throughout the party, and even Caleb—as drunk as he was—noticed the burning stares the two men gave each other.
“Seth! Seth, Seth, Seth,” Caleb said as he slung an arm over Seth’s shoulder, making Caleb’s glass of liquor slosh onto the deck. “I love you, bro. I’m glad you’re back. You should come over more.” Caleb started patting Seth’s face like Bea would, and Seth pushed him away.
“Caleb, you idiot—”
“No, I’m not. You are. You’re so stupid.” Caleb finished off his drink. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did. I almost lost the woman I loved—for what? Pride?” He snorted. “Not worth it, believe me.”
Seth froze. How the hell did Caleb know anything…? Seth narrowed his eyes when he spotted Lizzie. She caught his look and shrugged.
His damn siblings and their big mouths.
“I won’t be stupid like you because I never am,” Seth quipped. “Now, how about I get you some water before you start throwing up over the side of the boat?”
Megan took charge of her husband right then and got him to drink a bottle of water, giggling when he yanked her into his lap for a loud kiss.
The evening ended when Harrison called for a toast. “I’m glad we could all get together tonight,” he said. “Caleb, happy birthday, man. You’ve come a long way in the last year.”
Caleb’s eyes shimmered, making Seth look away. He knew Caleb had his own secrets, which Seth had only found out about upon returning to Fair Haven; it had taken a lot of courage—and Megan’s love—for Caleb to come to grips with a teenage tragedy he’d caused.
Harrison’s words sobered Caleb instantly; he drank his bottle of water in silence with Megan on his lap. She murmured something in his ear, which caused him to sigh and lean against her shoulder.
“Caleb hasn’t drunk any booze since he got with Megan,” Lizzie whispered in Seth’s ear. “She told him to have fun tonight, but…”
Ah. Seth put the pieces together and suddenly wished he could give his older brother a big hug. “He should enjoy himself. He deserves it.”
“He does.” She clinked glasses with Seth. “And so do you, just FYI.”
Harrison raised his glass again, and everyone went quiet. “One more thing—and Sara has given me permission to say this.” He looked down at his wife and squeezed her hand, the love between them palpable. “Sara and I are pregnant. Due in February.”
That resulted in a lot of squealing and yelling, and then Harrison and Sara were enveloped in so many hugs that they disappeared from Seth’s line of sight for a moment. Lizzie yanked on Seth’s arm, saying that she knew Sara was pregnant, and then Seth finally managed to find Harrison and give him a hug.
“Congrats,” Seth said in all sincerity.
“Thanks. We’re excited.” Harrison’s eyes gleamed. “I’m glad you’ll be here for the birth, too.”
Guilt swamped him, because Seth could very well be abroad again, but he didn’t say that. Smiling tightly, he congratulated Sara and passed the rest of the evening watching his family enjoy themselves while his own thoughts were back in Fair Haven with a woman he couldn’t get out of his head.
Chapter Eleven
When Rose heard Seth cry out in the middle of the night, her heart twisted. It wasn’t a shout like when you stubbed a toe or banged your knee against a piece of furniture: it was the kind of cry that was equal parts terror and rage. It was the kind of shout that she understood all too well.
She closed her eyes and dug her fingers into Callie’s plush fur. She waited for another shout, but there was only silence from next door.
Rose hadn’t been able to sleep, although Seth’s yell would’ve awoken her, no doubt. Rising from her blankets, she padded to the living room, which shared a wall with Seth’s apartment.
She placed her ear against the wall and listened. She could make out Seth walking around, and she heard his low voice. It was too muffled to hear his words, but it confirmed that he was awake.
Callie stood next to her and woofed softly. Rose petted her absently.
She’d missed him—that she couldn’t deny. She’d avoided him since she’d essentially kicked him out of her apartment, but she’d listened for him to come home every day. The evenings she had to leave for work before he had returned had been the hardest. When she heard him walking around his apartment, or heard the TV switch on, or heard him banging on she didn’t even know what, it was soothing.
It meant that Johnny hadn’t enacted his plan to hurt Seth.
She shuddered. Tendrils of fear curled around her heart.
Then she heard Seth groan, and if his shout had made her heart twist, this groan made her long to embrace him. She wanted to take away all his hurts.
“Go lie down,” she told Callie as she grabbed her keys. She didn’t stop to think about what she was doing. If she did, she knew she’d stay in her apartment for the rest of the night.
Rose knocked on Seth’s door, and when he opened it, she almost jumped. He looked pale and exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes. But she was mostly surprised by the fierceness in his expression. It took him a moment to register who was standing in front of him.
“Rose? What are you doing here?”
She struggled against a flood of embarrassment. What am I doing here? Excellent question.
“I heard you. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
His jaw clenched, and Rose almost wondered if he would tell her to go away. She’d never seen him so ill at ease: Seth had always seemed so capable, so put-together. Right now, though, he seemed vulnerable and all-too-human.
“Come in, then. Before you freeze.” He gestured for her to enter, and Rose realized with a start that this was the first time she’d seen his apartment. He’d always come over to her place.
It was almost amusing, seeing the mirror version of her place with actual furniture in it. There were some pictures on the wall,
including photos of baby Bea. But Rose instantly found herself wandering toward a section of the living room that had become a sort-of workstation.
It was filled with wood, and Rose marveled at a table that was being created. She discovered a few smaller pieces set on a table: a carved horse, a guitar. When she picked up a carved bird, she heard Seth inhale a breath.
Her eyes widened when she realized it was a hummingbird. You’re like a hummingbird: all color and movement.
Stroking the smooth lines of the bird’s wings, she felt the walls around her heart collapsing. Why did this man have to be so frustrating and wonderful at the same time?
She set the hummingbird down before turning toward Seth. He’d been watching her with an assessing look, like he couldn’t make her out. Well, he wasn’t alone, she thought. She could barely make herself out lately.
“Do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare?” She took his hand and entwined her fingers with his.
“Not really. I want to talk about why you’re here when you’ve been avoiding me all week.”
She dropped his hand, and he gave her a wry look. Opening her mouth to explain, she found herself unable to explain her actions. And the thought of telling him of what Johnny had done to her…
“I just freaked out. I’m sorry. I didn’t handle it well.”
He sighed. “Why are you here, Rose?”
It was funny: she’d asked him if he’d wanted to talk, but she suddenly wanted to do everything but talk. Words seemed futile at this point. Instead, she drank him in: from his dark eyes, to the stubble on his cheeks, to the dark hair bisecting his abdomen. She was infinitely grateful for his disinterest in shirts. He should never wear a shirt: it was a crime against humanity that he covered up that magnificent body of his.
Her body was buzzing, like it had filled with an electric current. She bit her lip, torn between physical desire and emotional fear, and Seth saw the gesture with his hawk-like gaze. He narrowed his eyes as he looked at her mouth for a long, heated moment.