by Vivian Wood
"With what?"
He looked at me like I was daft. "Getting your cat."
This time it was my turn to take him in. His hair looked wild and needed a trim, his eyes were bright, like he'd been outside in the wind and the cold. The unbuttoned flannel shirt that poked out from under his puffy jacket was not the fashionable, hip kind of flannel. It was the kind of flannel that was sold in outdoor stores next to the tractor parts. It looked like something his dad would wear.
It actually looked like something Gid wore, a lot.
My insides felt like someone had poured warm honey over them. "Yeah, sure," I said, trying like hell to keep my composure, so he wouldn't know I was melting at the sight of that shirt. So he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes and mistake them for sadness when they were actually the happiest I'd felt in a while. "Basement."
"You said that."
"Right."
Jonah in my house looked way too big. Just standing there, he seemed to take up all of the sparse space, making my house feel full and furnished instead of meager. I looked around with him, wondering what he was making of my stacks of books, the overflowing yarn bin and the overall lack of furniture except for my grandmother's rocking chair.
"This place looks like you," he commented.
"And what does that look like?" I wanted to know.
"Clear. Uncluttered." He pressed his lips together and looked back at me. "Truthful," he finished.
That shouldn't have made a damn bit of sense, but I was starting to understand Jonah, and so it did. "Thanks?" I wondered.
"It's definitely a compliment."
"Okay."
"Ruby?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry I was a dick yesterday," he said. "But I sure liked kissing you." He coughed and looked away. "Where's the basement?"
I huffed out a chuckle of disbelief. "You're unbelievable," I sighed. "Door's in the kitchen."
Of course he started off walking to it first, but rather than get all affronted, I quietly smiled. Jonah was...Jonah. He didn't know how to hang back and let other's take charge.
"How did she get in the ceiling in the first place?" he asked as we trundled down the stairs.
"She's...a cat? I have no idea. I think cat's exist in an alternate dimension from us. I was looking for her this morning because her food bowl was full, so I was shaking her treats and started hearing these little tiny mews coming up through the floor. Took me forever to realize she wasn't stuck in a closet somewhere."
"What's her name?"
"Ginger. I know it's a cliche for an orange cat. I let my kindergartners vote on the name."
"What came in second place?"
"Meow."
"Should have gone with that." He looked kind of charmed.
"I think he misunderstood the question and was answering the sound a cat made, but half of the class went with it." I pulled out the chair and pointed. "I think if you come at her this way, she might actually back up enough that I can grab her over here."
He looked up. "She is literally in the ceiling."
"Literally."
"How do you know she's right here?"
I called up above us. "Ginge-y? You still up there or did the dust bunnies eat you?"
A faint, squeaky mew filtered down through the tile. Jonah shrugged as if to say "well there you go." He poked the tile up and peered in. "I don't see a...oh hello."
"Is she there?"
"Ssh," he hushed me. "You're a pretty kitty, right?" he cooed. I glanced down to see that his hand was moving slowly, and deliberately upward. "You don't want to be in the dirty ceiling, right?" I bit my tongue and chose not to hear that as an insult. "You want to come back down and eat some treats with your mommy, right little kitten?"
Then there was a bang, and a hiss, and Jonah's triumphant, "gotcha!" and all at once he stepped back down, cradling my tiny little kitten in his huge hands.
I swear I heard an audible pop, and assumed it was my heartstrings getting tugged by the sight of a big man with a tiny animal.
"You smell like dust," Jonah observed, stroking her little head. She lifted her paw and batted at his fingers, trying like hell to gnaw on them. "Hey, I need those."
"Thank you," I said, and it came out all stiffly because I was still trying to process the sight of him right now. "I guess I was being too hesitant."
"She's a feisty one," he said, wincing as Ginger clamped down with her tiny needle teeth. "Maybe keep the basement door closed?"
"Good idea. She would absolutely do this again just out of spite," I agreed.
He chuckled, stroking her fuzzy head, setting off a thunderous purr. She closed her eyes, stretching out so he could scratch under her chin.
I realized I was grinning like an idiot. "Oh, um, you want some coffee? Tea?" I blinked. "Why did you come here in the first place?"
"To rescue a kitten, of course," he said, following me back up the stairs. When I had deliberately latched the door, he set Ginger back down again. She arched her back and did a little hopping dance, then bit my ankle and charged off, probably to wedge herself somewhere else inconvenient.
I rolled my eyes. "Why are you really here?" I asked him.
He shifted on his feet.
"Sit down," I ordered. "You're making me nervous being all big in my tiny kitchen."
He obediently sat down. "I went down to the shed this morning."
I flexed my fingers. "Where Gid and Izzy lived?"
He nodded.
"Izzy is all moved out now, right?" I couldn't keep the heavy sadness out of my voice.
His eyes got that shining look to them again. The one I had thought had something to do with the wind getting in them. But there was no wind in my kitchen. "It's empty," he said, his voice strangely tight. "Nothing but dust."
I swallowed. "Yeah."
"It hasn't ever been empty," he went on. "Not since I can remember. There's not even a leftover sock to show he was there."
"You have his shirt," I said, pointing.
Faint color rose to his cheeks. "Mom found it in mixed in with the towels." He brushed his hand over it. "I didn't think you'd notice."
"Course I would. That was his Friday shirt."
Jonah looked at me. "He wore this on Fridays? Only?"
"Your uncle didn't like to waste brain power on such trivial things as wardrobes. He had higher thoughts to think."
Jonah fell quiet. "Ruby?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we listen to the tapes?" He licked his lips. "Together?"
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jonah
"All this time I've had these," she was saying as her voice floated down from the rafters. "And I never really thought through how I would listen to them."
"You okay up there?" I was holding the ladder and trying not to sneak peeks at her round, nicely curved ass. We were both wedged in a closet in her second bedroom, the only access point to her attic a panel in the ceiling. If she stumbled, my hands were right there to grab her. Which might be a problem.
"I'm fine." She was a body without a head as she poked around in the crawlspace. "I think... yeah this is it."
I heard a scrape and then a thud and then she made a triumphant noise. "Here it is!' she cried, banging the ancient tape recorder against the rungs so close to my head it made my hair ruffle.
"How old it this thing?" I wondered, deftly taking it from her before she brained me. "It looks pure 70s."
"1980 exactly, as a matter of fact," she corrected, hopping down off the ladder. "Apparently it was the height of technology because of these." She pointed.
"A dual deck, nice."
She trundled the ladder out of the closet and set it against the wall. Then she looked at me with those big eyes of hers. There was atightness in her smile, but she was smiling and that was good enough to make me smile back. "Are you ready?"
I took a deep breath. My first instinct was to scoff. Of course I was. Except. "I'm not sure," I confessed, letting my breath out in a long, sl
ow inhale.
"You're worried you're going to hate it?"
"How did you know?"
"I feel the same way. I always wondered why Gid didn't - "
"Do something with it?"
"I mean he did, back in the day, but this is recent stuff. Stuff he'd been working on..."
"Until he died," I finished. "And whatever his plans were got cut short." My tongue felt too thick in my mouth.
"Yeah," she said, looking down.
I took a deep breath, needing to force the words past my own possessiveness. "Are you really okay with me hearing them?" I asked her.
She widened her eyes. I nodded and swallowed, enunciating each word so that I was sure to hear them too. "I was pissed," I said. "Yesterday. Because I was like, why would Gid give them to her and not me? But then I realized, whatever claim I felt like I had to this music was less than the claim you had. He gave it to you. And," I let out a long, slow breath. "And I wasn't around."
She lifted that pretty, heart-shaped face of hers and for a second her clear, perfect beauty made me stupid. "I'm glad I'm around now though," I finished.
"I'm okay with it," she repeated, looking a little defensive. "That's why I told you about it yesterday and - "
"I was an ass?" I supplied.
The corner of her mouth twitched. "In so many words."
"I'm sorry about that." I shook my head. "I knew I'd be sad about losing him. I didn't expect to be so pissed off too."
Ruby's lip slipped between her teeth and for a moment the only thing that mattered was watching the way her teeth dragged a white line across the red. "Grief is weird," she finally said. "Brings out the worst in people."
"And the best."
"How do you figure?"
I swallowed. "I would have never known what an incredible person you were if Gid hadn't died."
Her blush started across her chest, on that small patch of creamy skin made visible by her ribbed tank top. I watched, mesmerized, until I realized it looked like I was staring right at her breasts.
I flicked my eyes back up to meet hers and was relieved to see that she was looking away and hadn't caught me staring at how pink and lovely she looked right now. "Should we listen then?"
"Let's," I said, nodding.
I followed her and her ancient tape recorder into the small, spartan living room. Ruby plopped herself right down on the floor and opened her arms to let the wayward Ginger settle herself into a purring ball in the center of her lap. "Pull up a patch of floor," she instructed, twisting to plug the player in. "You can pick the first tape."
I looked into the box that sat in the center of her floor and hesitated. I reached for one, then put it down, then another, and another...
"Close your eyes," she said, her voice calm and gentle. "Just grab the first one you touch."
I nodded and did what she said. I didn't open them when I grabbed the tape either. I just handed it right to her. "This one."
"Okay." She popped the tape player open and slid it in.
I opened my eyes. "What does it say in it? Did he leave a note? A track listing?"
"Sssh, Jonah." She pressed play.
A hissing crackle filled the air and then the soft strum of a guitar. I leaned a little close, realizing I was holding my breath and then realizing again that my hand was on Ruby's knee.
She looked down at it, but she didn't move.
A flurry of finger picking now, the notes falling like water and reminding me a bit of Crown Creek as it leaped and burbled. It was silent and frozen right now, but this music was just like the sound of summer, the little trilling splashes that made the woods sound like they were whispering secrets to themselves.
And then Gid's voice started and Ruby's hand slipped over mine.
It was just humming at first. A couple of 'woo-woos," and then some "hey-heys," and then more humming as he found his melody. I recognized it from my own process, the way you feel around the edges of a song before you can dive in all the way.
"Don't want to lose you," Gid's voice rang out as clear as if it were in my own head. I glanced at Ruby.
"It's him," she whispered, and there were tears in her eyes.
"Don't want to lose you," Gid repeated, and there was a clanking sound like his fingers slipped. He coughed and I swallowed to hear it, the raw, aching emotion in his voice. What had made him write this song? What heartache had he felt that I wasn't around to know about? What problem had he had that I couldn't be there with him through, to hand him a drink and sit with him down by the place where the creek bends around our property line, listening to the water, helping the problems he was having falling away in the silence because all he needed was to know was his nephew was there?
A tear was slipping quietly down Ruby's cheek. She wasn't making a sound and seemed like she was holding her breath. I squeezed her hand as the music started again. "The best chance at love was the one I never took," Gid sang.
Sang right to me.
It wasn't a coincidence. It couldn't be a coincidence that I picked this tape. My heart was beating faster now. Another tear tracked down Ruby's cheek and this time I didn't hesitate. I reached out and caught it at the edge of my finger.
She looked at me now and I heard her suck in her breath.
I brushed my finger on her other cheek, catching the wetness as Gideon strummed. She closed her eyes and another tear slipped out.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her cheek, catching it before it fell. Her small sound made my heart beat faster. I followed that trail reverently up to her closed eyes which I kissed one after the other.
"You gave me a chance, how many chances can I get?" wondered Gideon's crackling voice on the tape player. "Before I lose my last best chance at love?"
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ruby
It was like Gideon was talking to us, urging us on. Telling me to take the chance. I could hear the warmth in his voice, like we were having coffee over the grand piano in the music room. He'd set his mug down, careful not to leave a ring and look at me. "Why would you give up your best chance at love?" he'd say.
Just like he was saying now.
I didn't know yet if Jonah was my best chance. But I knew I wanted to take this chance.
I was startled when his lips found my cheek, but I wasn't surprised. What surprised me was how soft his lips were after yesterday's onslaught. What surprised me was the care he was taking, kissing away my tears until my cheeks were dry, then pressing his lips to my eyes like he was giving a blessing.
I opened my eyes to see him looking at me, something new and strange in his expression. "Ruby, you're incredibly beautiful," he said like this was the most obvious thing in the world.
I didn't know what to say. I started to say something but it was caught and swallowed when his lips brushed against mine.
At once we moved against each other, already anticipating the other's desires. It was like yesterday had been a rehearsal, and today was the real thing. Today we knew exactly what to do.
He cradled his hand around my neck, kissing me softly as Gid's guitar strummed. He took his time, nibbling and tasting, deepening by degrees. Waiting until I was right there with him, moaning into his mouth, arching myself against his body. I could feel his confidence, the self-assured way he bided his time until he had me panting for him and then, when I was finally trembling with a sweet, crazy need, he laid me down as the song faded out into silence.
"Good," he breathed into my neck.
"What?" I asked, running my hands up his back and feeling the way the muscles bunched with barely-held back power.
He pulled up and looked at me with the wicked gleam in his eyes making them even greener. "Wasn't sure I could fuck you with my uncle singing in the background."
I snorted. "You think we're about to have sex here?" He gave me a grin and I rolled my eyes. "Talk about romance. You're a real Prince Charming, you know that?"
"I'm not Prince Charming, baby," he growled as he slammed h
is lips against mine. "I'm a King."
His kiss swallowed up the smart remark I wanted to make and his hands erased all traces of it from my brain. Before I knew it, I was arching up into him, pulling him down to me and attempting to kiss every inch of his exposed skin "You're impossible," I moaned against his throat as his hands slid down. "You make me so fucking angry I want to throw things. I keep, ah!" I gasped as his hand slipped below my waistband, "thinking I've got you - oh my god - figured out and then you do something that totally throws me off and why? Why Jonah? This is crazy. What are we doing?"
"Right now I'm trying to get your pants off," he growled.
I smacked him in the shoulder, but then lifted my hips from the ground, letting him peel my morning yoga pants down off of me. He let out a hiss when he saw I'd gone bare underneath, but he didn't attempt to touch me. Instead he slid back over me and supported himself with his elbows as he gazed down into my eyes.
"I know," he said, looking me full in the face. "You've got me totally twisted up, it's the truth. I'm hot and cold because my life is pretty screwed up right now, Ruby, but I can tell you that the best thing that's happened since I came home, hell maybe the best thing that's happened in a much longer time that that, was realizing who you were." He brushed his lips across my jaw. "You make me feel like I can start over again, be a better person this time." His kiss found my lips. "You make me feel brand new."
A flush of warmth spread through my body, like I was melting from the inside out. I kissed him back, hard, not really understanding what he was saying but feeling the truth of his words right down to my toes. He was caught between two roads right now, but with a rush of power even more heady than his kisses, I realized that I could nudge him onto the one that made him a better person.
I caught his lip between my teeth, hearing him hiss, but holding him there as I looked him in the eyes. He held perfectly still, but I could feel him lengthening under his jeans, the warm hardness pressing against my thigh, and the feeling of having this man, this rockstar who'd been the fantasy of every girl my age, belong to me had my head spinning like I'd been drugged. "I changed my mind," I told him as I released his lip.