“You kept me from freezing last night. I appreciate it.” She touched her shoulder. “Your skin isn’t warm.”
“I am resistant, but not immune, to the cold.”
“Go put on your dress. I’ll be fine, now.”
Shareis carefully left the bedroll, taking care not to disturb the covers. “I won’t argue with you.” She slipped her dress on and checked the fire, then came back and sat on her heels. “There’s no more wood.”
“We’ll be alright.”
Shareis sighed. “You should at least have some warm tea.”
She chuckled. “I’d be sloshing around all day if I drank as much warm tea as you suggest.”
“I know, I just…”
She sat upright and started to put on her boots. “Shareis, it’s fine. I’m just kidding.” “You worry a lot about me. I’m not so fragile.”
“On the contrary, you are strong. But you cannot do everything. True strength comes in knowing your own powers and limitations.”
Her icy fingers fumbled with the laces. “You compliment my limitations quite well, Shareis.”
“As you do mine.”
“I wish I could believe that. I felt useless last night.”
“Nothing in life is ever truly equal, not even the best of friendships. But over time, it should be. I helped you last night. We will both continue to help each other in numerous ways. You have already done so much for me.”
She hung her head. “To me, it feels the other way around.”
“You saved my life. And not once, that I know of, did you let any prejudice about Proctors taint your view of me. You judged me for who I was, and now who I am. For that, I am grateful beyond words.”
“It didn’t seem like I was doing anything. I wasn’t taught to fear Proctors.”
“You are a rarity among your kind, then.”
Shareis fetched two biscuits and several pieces of jerky. “Breakfast is served.”
She bit into a biscuit. “These aren’t bad. You should try my mother’s biscuits. They are delicious.”
“Maeva?”
“No, Cherin. My… well, other mother.”
“Do you cook?”
“Yes. Cherin, taught me.”
“I’d love to sample your cooking sometime.”
“A cooking fire sounds lovely right now.”
The two finished their breakfast and broke camp, then proceeded toward the peaks of the foothills. Shortly after lunch, they arrived at the top. No landmarks or structures were visible save a single wooden stump. She approached and leaned next to it, examining the symbols it bore. Her fingers traced the deep groves as she struggled to understand them.
“Do you know what it says?” Shareis asked.
“No. I was hoping you would.”
“I do not know any of the Den’tari symbols.”
She looked around the empty snowfield. “Perhaps it says, ‘go away and leave us alone’.”
Shareis chuckled. “You probably aren’t too far off.”
“So, what do we do?”
Shareis tossed her pack on the ground, then sat with her legs crossed. “We wait.”
She joined her. “For how long?”
“Some wait days, others never gain an audience.”
“Days? We don’t have that long.”
“Hopefully they will understand that.”
She looked around. “How do they even know we are here?”
“It is said they will appear when they wish to speak with you.” She fetched her pack and handed her an apple. “We might as well each lunch.”
Her bite into the crisp apple pierced the eerie silence. The sharp reflections of sunlight, the thin air, and the void of sound created a surreal atmosphere. She soaked in her cold, inhospitable surroundings as she enjoyed the delicious fruit.
“It is so still,” she observed.
“Peaceful. Perfect for meditation.”
Shareis laid her dagger on the snow directly in front of her. The mirror-like surface of the blade appeared as a pool of crystal-clear water in the midday sun.
“Will you teach me how to meditate?”
“I will show you how I meditate.”
“I don’t have a dagger,” she said.
“You don’t need one. My dagger is bound to my spirit. It is a unique trait of my kind.”
“Then what do I do?”
Shareis stiffened her posture. “Find a comfortable position. I prefer to align my spine vertically but find what works for you.”
She relaxed her shoulders and let her palms rest on her knees.
“Now close your eyes. Do not force them closed, simply let your lids naturally fall.”
The bright sunlight lit the backs of her eyelids, casting a warm glowing wall of flame across her field of vision.
“Imagine a window in front of you, covering your entire view. As the thoughts drift away, and only the sound of my voice remains, picture the curtains closing.”
Stray images and fleeting thoughts faded from her mind.
“Pay attention to everything around you. Not with thought, but let the sensations absorb into your skin, into your very core. Feel the snow beneath your legs and the cold air blowing across your face. Feel everything around you, not just in your mind, but with your soul.
She had no problem feeling the cold but allowing the experience to meld into her being was difficult. With some patience, she adopted a deeper understanding of the sensations.
“Allow yourself to completely soak into the fabric of reality. You are one with nature. There is no distinction. You are now an outside observer. Let your perception float through the space between us, the hills, and all that surrounds us.”
She went deeper into the swell of oneness that overcame her. For a moment, she lost herself. There was no Niv, no world, no everything. They were one. In the stillness of that state, the edges of herself reappeared. She realized, in that instant, that she now controlled her connection to source. She could dive under the water, or above it, or ride the surface.
In this state, she became the observer, and her soul the method of travel. Lacking her body’s corporeal senses, she now perceived her surroundings in blurry pastels. Sights and sounds were deemphasized while emotions and spirits shone brightly.
Shareis caught her eye. She moved in front of her and watched her carefully with the mode of perception. Shareis’s beauty normally distracted her view, yet now she peered beyond that stoic physical layer. At the core of Shareis’s being lay a seed of resentment, hurt, and anger toward humans. It pulsed with fervor yet was tightly constrained. The dark emotion sent tendrils racing in every direction in Shareis’s body. Niv instinctively knew the sequestered pain was poisoning her.
“This is not for you.”
Shareis shared another aspect of herself. Bright, abundant light filled with joy, gratefulness, and compassion, radiated from her, easily overpowering the shadow. The energy enveloped Niv like a warm blanket, soothing her soul.
“But the rest of me is yours.”
In this state, she could interact with Shareis’s spirit in ways that were otherwise impossible. Her angst over her attraction to Shareis and her unfamiliarity in matters of the heart filled her with self-doubt, trepidation, and fear. Yet stripped of these things, she felt the undeniable connection.
The sheer bliss of her discovery drove her back to herself. She opened her eyes, noticing it was now mid-afternoon. She sat in front of Shareis, leaving her dagger between them. Shareis opened her eyes and sheathed her blade. Shareis’s usually strong, piercing gaze had softened.
“I was going to ask if we both experienced the same thing,” she said. “But I see there is no need. That was real.”
“You now see why I fret over you so,” Shareis replied.
“Yes. I don’t know if you could see what was in my heart, but I feel the same way.” She looked away. “But I… I still don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Why do your feelings for me bother you?”
>
She sighed. “Because I don’t understand them. I’m… oh, I feel silly for even saying this, but, I’m supposed to like men.”
“You are not obliged to like anyone. Don’t let society tell you who to find attractive.”
“I never had a boyfriend,” she said. “Aiden is handsome, yes, but, I feel nothing for him other than friendship. But it’s different with you.”
Shareis took her hands in hers. “We saw a glimpse into one another’s souls. There are no secrets. I understand how you feel.”
“Then you know I care deeply for you,” she said.
“I do. And I you, Niv’leana.”
She smiled. “I don’t ever recall hearing you say my name. At least not to me directly.”
“I do not use names that much. But this is my fault. I should, especially with you.” Despite the cool wind, she felt every detail of Shareis’s touch on her face. “Your name is beautiful.”
Niv moved closer and didn’t resist the urge to reach for her. “I still have no idea what I’m doing.”
She closed her eyes as their foreheads touched. Shareis’s warm breath danced across her lips. “Your soul knows.”
She gently ran her fingers through Shareis’s hair, then rested them on her slender, graceful neck. “It’s time I trust it. But I’ve never even…” her voice broke. “Never kissed anyone before.”
The energy between them changed in an instant as a strange hand came to rest on her shoulder. She jerked away from the hooded man who stood over her.
“Hello, Niv’leana.”
Chapter 38
Aiden jumped at the sharp knock on his door. He shielded his eyes from the bright sunlight streaming through the window. The door creaked opened, and a red curl poked through the opening.
He sighed. “Come on in, Frasie.” He sat up in bed and clutched his blanket to his chest. “Where were you last night?”
She closed the door behind her. “I’m sorry I missed our dinner.”
He motioned for her to turn around, then got up and slipped on his pants. “It’s more than dinner. It was frigid, and you were on a dangerous mission.”
“I know. I really messed up.”
He was dressed but decided to let her stew for a moment. “What happened?”
She took a deep breath. She didn’t utter a word, but her exasperation was so clear it filled the room. Her posture exuded defeat, and her hand flexed in anger.
Despite his frustration, he felt sorry for her. At least she was alright, he reasoned.
“I’m decent now,” he said. “You had to have been freezing.”
She turned around. “I’m too mad to be cold,” she grumbled.
He motioned to a pair of chairs near the window. “At the beginning.”
“I found out Drox and his men are recruiting people for his army. I think they’re going to destroy Lahara.”
“There’s no value in razing the city,” he said. “Vorea surely wants to bring it fully under her control. But she doesn’t have the men to do it now. We have to tell Ormond and Cadrin.”
Frasie frowned. “That’s not even the worst part. The reason I know most of this is because I overheard Drox talking to Narelle.”
“Narelle?” he asked. “Why would she be talking to him?”
“She’s cheating on Cadrin.”
“What? Really? Are you sure?”
“Very sure.” Frasie scrunched her nose. “I saw all the gory details.”
“So Drox was telling her this?”
“Yes. She was begging him to let her talk to Vorea. He has some way of communicating with her.”
He rubbed his unshaven neck. “What is she up to?”
“Apparently betraying Cadrin.” Anger flushed her already reddish complexion. “That bitch!”
He put his hand on her shoulder. “Frasie, calm down. We don’t have all the facts.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down, Aiden! I saw it. Every bit of it. Well, not every bit of it, but enough.”
“I believe you, and I agree it looks bad, but—”
“It is bad. There’s no reason for her to do that.”
“Narelle has helped us tremendously. She gave you that beautiful dress.”
Frasie bunched her skirt. “Ugh, thanks for reminding me. If I had something else to put on, I’d strip this dress off this instant!”
He swallowed hard. “Well, I…”
She stood and put her hands on her hips. “Why are you sticking up for her?”
“I’m not. I’m just saying we don’t really know what’s going on. Yes, she’s cheating on Cadrin, but maybe she’s doing it to get information from Drox and prevent an attack.”
Frasie glared at him with ferocious intensity. “It doesn’t matter why she’s doing it, Aiden! She broke her marriage vows.”
He stood next to her. “Yes, of course, I’m just saying—”
Frasie grunted and walked toward the door.
“Why is this bothering you so much?”
“She’s wrong!” She made a quick attempt to calm herself, but her rage surfaced again. “If she really is using her body to get information, then she’s nothing more than a common Skilla!”
“You don’t mean that.”
“A Skilla opens her legs for money, right? Well, she’s doing the same thing.”
“Even if she is, she’s doing it to save her people,” he said.
“You’re just making excuses. Like my dad.”
She buried her head in her hands and cried. He shoved aside his frustration and put a hand on her shoulder.
“Frasie, what do you mean?”
She turned to him. “A few years ago, my mom cheated on my dad. I had the bad luck of being the one to find out.”
“I’m sorry. That had to be difficult.”
“Before I got up the courage to tell my dad, I heard them fighting about it one evening. He left for a few days, but then forgave her.”
“I’m glad they were able to work it out.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “I think my father thought it was somehow his fault. I think it took me longer to forgive her. I guess this reminded me of it.”
“Understandable,” he said. “We’ll have time to sort this out, but we must tell Cadrin.”
Frasie pulled back. “Not about Narelle!”
“That’s not what I meant. But we have to tell him Drox is planning an attack.”
“He’ll wonder how we know. He’ll ask questions.”
“We can just say that we overheard some of the guards talking about it.”
“I didn’t mean to yell at you.” She looked down and sighed. “And I didn’t mean to worry you last night. I am sorry. I should have been more considerate.”
“It’s alright.”
Frasie smiled. “You’re a wonderful friend, you know that?”
He sensed she needed a comforting hug, yet he was leery to do so. He had only hugged his mom and a girl he took to a spring dance. But Frasie wasn’t just any girl. He stepped in and pulled her against him.
“You’re not bad yourself,” he said and gave her an awkward pat on the back.
“Do you think they’ll attack?”
“I don’t know. One thing is for certain – if they do, we’ll give them a decent fight. I made a fair number of explosives today. That combined with that magic bow of yours and a few hundred good fighters, and Lahara might be able to defend the city.”
“Explosives?” she asked.
He mocked the motion of the violent chemical reaction with his hands and blew air through his slightly parted lips to imitate the sound.
Frasie’s eyes lit with excitement. “Lots of fire?”
He nodded.
She bounced with energy. “I like these explosives. But I wish Nivvy were here. She could roast them all with her fire.” She paused. “It’s so cold. I’m worried about them.”
“They’ll be alright,” he replied. “They’re two of the strongest women I’ve ever known.”
&nb
sp; “Worrying about them makes me think about what I put you through last night.”
He shook his head. “You’ve already apologized. Though, I considered going to find you.”
“What stopped you?”
“I might break your cover. Or you’d be mad at me.”
“Mad? Why?”
He shrugged. “Because it would mean I thought you couldn’t handle yourself.”
“Oh, yea. Well, sure, now that you mention it, I would have been mad. You know me.”
He chuckled. “Yes, I do. Glad I didn’t, then.”
“I wandered around the city. I even went into a tavern. Some slobbery drunk was trying to flirt with me, so I left.”
“Oh really?”
“Ick. He was disgusting. I had no use for him.”
“So, what if he hadn’t been drunk?”
“He wasn’t my type.” She grinned. “Are you jealous, Aiden?”
His face flushed. “No, of course not. I am just concerned for your safety. You shouldn’t go into a tavern without me. They’re full of unsavory types.”
She laughed. “I met you in a tavern, silly.”
“Oh, well, yea… see?”
Chapter 39
The towering man pulled back his hood. His bright blue eyes pierced through the reflected light from the snow, and his long gray hair cascaded down his back. His white, well-trimmed beard added to his mystical appearance.
“My name is Dailen.”
Niv stood. “Are you from the Den’tari?”
He slowly bowed his head. “I am.”
She looked around her. “Where did you come from? Where are the rest of the Den’tari?”
He folded his fingers. “I have been here, and my brothers and sisters are nearby. For now, you cannot see them. In time, that may change.”
“How do you know my name?”
“Niv’leana, your name is on the wind. The identity of the amulet bearer is obvious to all students of the mystery.”
“The mystery?”
He started walking. “That is a discussion best had over a cup of hot chocolate.” He turned back to her and smiled. “You do like hot chocolate, don’t you?”
“That sounds lovely,” she replied. “Do you, Shareis?”
“Absolutely.”
“Good, good.”
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