Whatever. I’m so glad everyone can have a great time while my world is crumbling around me, thank you very much. I hate boys. They’re the worst. Either they make you feel like an incompetent loser, or they ignore you like you don’t even exist. Or even worse, for whatever reason you suddenly come back into existence in their pitiful little worlds and now they won’t leave you alone.
This is my life in a nutshell.
“Jade.”
I don’t bother turning around, though my stomach dips when I realize that it’s Shep calling me. “Leave me alone,” I toss over my shoulder, never slowing my pace. I should walk right out of this house and let the night swallow me up. Not like I’d do anything exciting. More like I’d stumble back to my dorm room on these stupid wedge heels, praying Shep wakes up with a massive headache and a case of herpes because he let some other dumb girl fuck him into oblivion.
God, my thoughts are so bitter, it’s pitiful.
“Jade, stop.”
I continue to ignore him, coming to a stop when I see a giant group of guys standing in front of the door leading out to the massive wrap around porch. A few of them pick up a smaller guy who’s wearing the fraternity T-shirt, holding him upside down as he struggles and begs them to put him down.
Yeah, I’m not getting past that crowd anytime soon. Deciding to deviate from my plan, I turn a sharp right and head up the stairs, hoping like crazy I can hide out for a bit until Shep disappears. He won’t be persistent. I don’t think he has a persistent bone in his body and how am I going to make him change?
I’m not. I need to face that.
The stairs seem incredibly steep and I’m practically out of breath when I reach the top, glancing around before I start down the hall. I throw open the first door on the left to find a guy and a girl writhing on the bed half naked. They’re so into each other, they don’t even notice me.
I don’t bother saying sorry as I quickly close the door.
It’s like this in practically every room I peer into. If they’re not having sex, they’re passing a joint and in one room, I found one of the Ems—I’m not sure which one—and I wave at her as she smiles and taps the side of her nose, the guy with her holding a mirror in front of her covered with tiny white lines.
Looks like someone is about to get a bump.
I still can’t believe I’d almost done one myself. I’m not one to cave in to peer pressure but I’d been so drunk, feeling so unsure…I can’t explain it. Since the moment I met Shep, I can’t explain my behavior.
The man makes me crazy. Makes me do crazy things. Makes me want even crazier things.
Giving up, I find an empty bathroom and shut the door, turning the lock and going to the sink, where I wash my hands, then splash cool water on my cheeks. It doesn't help. I’m still flushed, most likely from anger, but also from…arousal. I’d actually enjoyed that little encounter with Shep. Everything between us is always heightened. The colors brighter, the sounds louder, our words intense, the way I want him…overwhelming. Whenever we snip at each other, it usually turns me on.
What this says about me I’m not sure but I’m not going to question it at the moment.
The door handle turns this way and that, the actual door starting to move and I call out, “Occupied, give me a minute,” as I grab a towel and start drying my hands.
But the jerk on the other side of the door is persistent. The handle rattles again, harder this time and then the door swings open, leaving me standing there with my mouth hanging open, so thankful I wasn’t sitting on the toilet when this particular moment happened.
Especially when I see who’s standing in the doorway.
Shep.
Chapter 18
Jade
* * *
I gape at him, pissed that he’d invade my privacy so easily, secretly thrilled that he was so dogged in his pursuit of…me.
“What are you doing?” I ask, my voice shrill, my emotions going haywire. On one side I’m pissed that he had the nerve to just bust in on me like this. On the other side, I’m thrilled he’s proven persistent after all.
Typically confused. That’s normal when it comes to my feelings for Shep.
“Looking for you,” he says simply as he strides into the bathroom and turns to lock the door, and then the deadbolt above it. “The lock in the handle doesn’t really work,” he explains as he turns to face me.
“Yeah, just realized that.” He would know this, considering it’s his frat house and all. How could I be so stupid, thinking I could escape him? He’s everywhere. “I don’t want to talk to you. And I definitely don’t want you locking us in here together.”
“We have to talk.” He leans against the door, looking freaking amazing. God, I hate him. It’s like he didn’t even try and he looks like pure sex. Wearing a charcoal colored T-shirt that stretches across his broad shoulders and chest, accompanied by dark rinse jeans that mold to his thighs, reminding me exactly how strong and thick they are.
Not that I need to remember. The sensation of his hairy thigh is forever imprinted on my palm, thank you very much.
“There’s nothing to talk about. Trust me, it’s over.” I back up a step, my knee nudging against the toilet seat and I step away, grossed out by the thought of all the male butts that have sat on that thing. “Go away.”
“I’m not some trained pet you can send away at your every command, Jade.” He takes a step closer, like he knows he has me cornered and knowing his asshole tendencies of late, I bet he does know this. Has he kept tabs on me? God, I hope not. I’m infinitely boring, especially by Shep standards.
I take another step back, glancing over my shoulder to see the hideous floral printed shower curtain directly behind me. If I don’t watch it I’m falling ass backward into the tub and wouldn’t that be a sight?
Not that I care any longer what this man thinks of me.
“I wish you were so I could get rid of you once and for all,” I retort. “Stop chasing after me, Shep. There’s no use.”
His eyes light up and I wonder if it was my use of the word Shep. I rarely say his name and I know he realizes it. “I’m sorry.” He’s approaching, slowly but surely and I have nowhere else to go. Nowhere to escape. He’s got me well and truly cornered. “For what I did to you. I was a total dick.”
An apology. Again, not what I was expecting. “Do you even realize what you did?”
He nods solemnly, looking downright contrite. “I shouldn’t have run.”
Ah, so he considers it running. I figured he’d found another girl and that was the end of Shep and Jade. “So you ran away from me?” After I gave you a blowjob? I want to say exactly that but I’m too embarrassed. I’ll be humiliated if he hated it.
And he must’ve hated it if it made him run.
“Yeah.” He nods, lifts up his hand to run it across his cheek. I don’t think he’s shaved and it’s like I can feel the rasp of his whiskers. As if I’m the one who’s touching him. “It’s what I do. Run. I’m real good at it. Should’ve been on the cross country team when I was in high school. Or track. Yeah, definitely track. I would’ve kicked ass at both of them but I was too busy lighting up bombs and trying to burn down the chem lab.”
I frown. He’s not making any sense. And he has that ever-present red cup in his hand. “Hand it over,” I tell him, wagging my fingers at him, indicating I want to see it. He offers it to me and I lift the glass to my nose, sniffing at the contents.
Nothing.
Though aren’t some liquors hard to smell? As in they’re odorless. I’ve heard that about vodka…is that what’s in Shep’s cup? I wouldn’t put it past him.
“Are you drunk?” I hand him back his cup, thankful that he moves away from me. Even though it’s only by a few inches, it’s still enough to make me feel like I can breathe again.
He smiles and the sight is fucking dazzling. He has the best smile ever. I’m breathless all over again just looking at him. “That’s my goal.”
Ugh. Men are p
athetic. “I think you’re close.” I sigh. “Just tell me what you’re drinking.” Why I care I don’t know. He should be drinking cheap beer like everyone else but nooo. He’s Shepard Prescott, special snowflake.
“No way. You’ll steal it from me.” He brings the cup to his lips and swallows. I watch unabashedly as he drinks, his lips curved around the red plastic, his throat working as he swallows. My mouth goes dry and he offers the cup to me once again. “Thirsty?”
I step closer as does he, and we meet in the middle of the tiny bathroom, Shep holding the cup out toward me as I take it. He doesn’t make any sense, not wanting me to steal his cup but then hands it out to me. Of course, this is probably a ruse so he can get closer and silly me I fall for it.
I take a sip, my gaze never leaving his as I swallow straight vodka on the rocks and I wince at the taste of it. He’s watching me so intensely, his expression softening, his eyes darkening, his mouth falling open ever so slightly.
“Thank you,” I whisper as I hand him his drink back.
“Jade…” His voice trails off and he sets the cup on the bathroom counter, turning to face me fully. He looks serious. Too serious.
I need to get out of here.
“I should go.” I try to push past him but he grabs hold of my arm, his fingers curling around the crook of my elbow, keeping me from leaving.
“Don’t go,” he murmurs, his voice so low I almost don’t hear him. “Please.”
I turn my head to look at him, our gazes locking. I’m shaking. Can he feel it? I should hate him. What he did to me is unforgiveable. I’m self-conscious enough already. His seeming rejection only made it worse. Made me feel worse. “I can’t,” I whisper, trying to withdraw my arm from his grip but he only clamps his fingers tighter. “You hurt me, Shep. I refuse to put myself through that again.”
He looks shocked at my admission and I use his shock to my advantage. I pull out of his hold and lurch toward the bathroom door, reaching up to undo the deadbolt when he’s suddenly there, pressing his big, warm body against mine, trapping me between the door and him.
“Let me explain.” His hand is at my waist, slowly sliding down, over my hip, my thigh, along the edge of my cutoff shorts, sending a spark of heat everywhere he touches me. I close my eyes, hold back the whimper that wants to escape at his assured touch and I press my forehead to the door. His fingers dance along my thigh, stroking upward, beneath the denim and I buck against him, trying to get him off me but it only makes things worse.
Because I can feel him—hard and hot, his erection nudges against my butt and now I’m the one who’s shocked. Did I do that to him? Do I still have that much power over him?
“There’s nothing to explain,” I say to the door, keeping my eyes tightly closed. It’s bad enough I can smell him, feel him, hear him. I don’t want to see him. If I look in his eyes, stare at his beautiful face, I’ll give in. And I don’t want to. I don’t want to take the risk of getting hurt again.
How’s that old saying go? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on…
Me.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He pushes my hair away from my shoulder and I can feel his breath on my neck right before he kisses it. My knees threaten to buckle at first touch of his lips on my skin and I grip at the door, grasping at nothing but smooth, painted wood. “I swear, Jade. It kills me to know that I ruined this.”
See, there’s the thing that bugs. He did ruin it. But I’m so weak, so attracted to him still, that I would let him back in. Easily. I know I shouldn’t. I’m only asking for trouble. Hearing the pain in his voice, feeling him strain against me though, I want to give in. Right now.
I need to remain strong. Ignore his mouth on my neck…oh God, on that one spot just behind my ear that makes me shiver. I’m shivering right now as his hand slips beneath the hem of my tank, his other hand smoothing my hair back. He’s everywhere, surrounding me with his scent and his touch, his heat and his body. I press closer to the door, plastering myself to it and he follows my lead by plastering his body to mine.
“Let me make it up to you,” he whispers close to my ear just before he kisses it, his mouth lingering, making me shiver even more. I swear to God I’m going to melt into a puddle if he doesn’t stop doing this. “Turn around, baby.”
No. No, no, no. I can’t do it. To turn around would be to give in. And I can’t…
“Jade.” He cups my face with one hand, his long fingers curling around my chin as he turns my head toward him. I keep my eyes tightly closed as he tilts my chin up and I can feel his eyes on me. “Look at me.”
I shake my head, which is difficult considering the grip he has on me and how I’m positioned. “No,” I whisper.
“Please.”
It’s the tone of his voice that breaks me. Reluctantly I open my eyes to find his face in mine, his lips so close…
And then they’re on mine, soft and gentle, tentative and sweet. Again and again he brushes his lips against mine, never pushing. Just simple little kisses that make my skin tighten, my blood languid, my head swim. He relaxes his hold on my chin, moves away the slightest bit from my body and he rests his hands at my hips, slowly turning me around until I’m facing him.
He pulls away and I open my eyes, our gazes locked, the only sound in the tiny bathroom our accelerated breathing. I can hear the party raging on downstairs, the throb of the music, the low roar of voices. It reminds me I can go if I wanted to. My friend is downstairs, probably worried about me. I can run to Kelli right now and ask her to take me home and she would, no questions asked.
I reach out to rest my hand on the door handle, determined to make my escape when he grabs me, his hands on my face, cupping my cheeks, his mouth on mine once again.
Though this time his kiss isn’t gentle or sweet. It’s hard and demanding, his tongue thrusting deep. I force myself to remain impassive, as if his kiss doesn’t matter but I can keep up the pretense for only so long.
Because his kiss does matter. His hands on me matter too and I release the door handle, rest my hand on his chest, tempted to push him away. Until I feel the erratic thump of his heart beneath my palm and I realize he’s just as affected by this, by me, as I am by him.
Everything else falls away and all that matters is me and him in this stupid bathroom, wrapped up in each other’s arms. I slide my hand up until I’m cupping the back of his neck, pulling him into me. Our mouths are busy, tongues busy, hands busy and I know without a doubt that I’m going to give in.
Please. I need to be honest with myself.
I’ve already given in.
* * *
Shep
* * *
I feel like I just won the most awesome prize I’ve ever wanted in all my life. That prize is Jade. Soft and warm in my arms, her mouth responsive, her entire body leaning into mine. This is what I’d missed more than anything in the last week that I’d gone without her. The connection, the attraction that links the two of us together, we can’t deny it. She may hate me but her body doesn’t. She wants me.
And I want her.
Her tongue tangles with mine, a whimper sounds low in her throat when I slide my hands up, tunneling my fingers through her hair. Fuck I could touch her like this all night, kiss her like this all night…
But I’ve already done that. I’ve already withstood the make out session with her and almost didn’t survive it. When she dropped to her knees in front of me, pulled off my shorts and proceeded to give me the best blow job of my life, I…panicked.
I refuse to panic again. Panicking results in losing Jade. And I can’t afford to do that.
Releasing my hold on her face, I reach for her ass, curving my hands beneath it and lifting. She breaks the kiss first, staring up at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Put your legs around me,” I whisper.
When I lift her again her long, bare legs wrap around my hips, her feet digging into my ass. I grip the back of her thighs and press her into the door, rubbing my cock against he
r like an animal raring to fuck and her eyelids flutter when I make direct contact with her denim covered pussy.
“Feel that?” I thrust against her again, her lips falling open when I do, and she closes her eyes. “That’s what you do to me. Look at me, Jade.”
Her eyes pop open, hazy and full of hunger. Shifting closer, I press my mouth to hers, keeping my eyes open and she does the same. Slowly I shift my hips to hers and she moans, her eyes shutting again. I grip her chin. “Open your eyes.”
She does as I ask, blinking up at me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I was an idiot.”
Her perfect lips curve into the tiniest smile and my heart expands at the sight of it. “Yes, you are.”
“I need your forgiveness.” I touch her cheek, press my fingers to her mouth. She parts her lips, draws the tips of my fingers between them and when she starts to gently nibble them, I swear I see stars. I remove my fingers from her mouth before I completely lose it.
“I need to think about it,” she says and I kiss her before she can say anything else.
That’s enough for me. At least for now. I lose myself in the taste of her lips, the feel of her in my arms. I’m hard as steel, eager to tear off her clothes and fuck her but I can’t do it here, not in the bathroom of my frat house with a party raging on downstairs.
Talk about classless. Jade deserves more than that. She’s worth more than that.
“Come home with me,” I whisper against her lips.
She sucks in a breath and I pull away slightly so I can gauge her reaction. Her eyes are wide and she sinks her teeth into her lower lip in that innately sexy way she has. She drives me fucking crazy. “I don’t know…”
“I want you there. I want to be alone with you.” I lean in and whisper close to her ear. “I’m not going to fuck you against this door, Jade. I want to take you home so I can fuck you properly. In my bed.”
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