“She definitely wasn’t his daughter.”
“Oh my God.”
“Suddenly, all her insecurities made sense, and I’d wished that I’d known what she knew because I would’ve been more understanding. I would have been a better brother. I told her that. And when I left Boston to come here, Lorna and I were in a better place than we’d ever been.”
I lifted my head to meet his gaze. The betrayal in his was soul destroying. “I wrote that letter to Dad when I was fifteen and she kept it.” He shook his head. “I threw it away, but she must have found it and kept it. She had, uh, short stories of mine, scraps of things I’d thrown away … I know she kept those too.” Jamie let out a shuddering breath. “She must have come from New York planning this because she had the letter with her. I had stupidly told her that seeing you every week was getting harder because I was afraid I was stopping you from living your life.
“But none of that mattered. She was going to do this to us, no matter what. She remembered she had that letter, and she planned this.”
As much as it killed that Lorna had done this to me, I was more devastated that she’d done this to Jamie.
“She knew.” I could hear the rage building him. “She knew what you meant to me. And she took you from me when I needed you most.”
I grabbed hold of him tight, trying to calm him. “Jamie, I knew her. And I should have come to you. Instead, I let all those awkward visits with you mess with my head, with what I knew was true. Yes, she did this to us, but I let her.”
“No,” he bit out, shaking his head. “You don’t put that shit on yourself. I am done with self-recrimination. This”—he jumped to his feet and I hurried to follow him into the bedroom where he snatched up the letter sitting among the glass shards, tearing the page in two—“this is done for us now. It’s in the past. We know the truth.” Anguish darkened his features before he fought to let it go. “Neither of us meant to abandon the other. We love each other.”
“We love each other,” I echoed the promise.
“But I am done with my sister, and she needs to know that we know the truth.” He yanked on his jeans.
“Jamie …”
“No, Jane. She’s my sister so I won’t go after her for this, even though she’s almost as bad as the fuckers on my hit list. But I am done with her. There’s no coming back from deliberately tearing us apart.”
“Don’t call her yet.” I took hold of his hand. “Stay here with me. Stay the whole night with me. Screw everyone else. We can face all that in the morning.”
He hesitated, making my breath hitch.
To my relief, however, he exhaled slowly and nodded.
Jamie joined me back in bed.
I’d clean up the broken mirror tomorrow.
“I just gave us seven years more bad luck,” he groaned as I cuddled into him.
I chuckled, and it was a relief to do so. “I don’t think it’s possible for us to have any more bad luck.”
“Don’t jinx us, Doe.”
I pressed a kiss to his chest. Despite sad revelations, I squirmed a little with happiness to hear the endearment again.
Jamie rubbed his hand down my arm as we tried to settle into each other, to leave all the ugly, messy emotions at the door until tomorrow. “You need to text Gaines and tell him you can’t see him anymore.”
“What about Wright?”
He took a deep breath. “I’ll follow him. Plant a bug in his apartment. It was my last-resort plan.”
The thought of anything happening to him now that I had him back made me tense with anxiety. “Jamie—”
“It’ll be okay.”
I wanted to believe that, and as I stewed on it, I realized what he’d just said. “A bug?” I pushed up off him and he stared at me warily. “Did you plant a bug at Asher’s? Is that how you knew he was sabotaging my attempts?”
He nodded reluctantly. “In his car.”
“How?”
“I bribed one of his so-called friends to do it.”
“Jamie, you need to remove that bug.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why do you care?”
“Asher hurt me, and I can’t be around him right now, but he has been like family to me these last few years. Those feelings don’t just go away. Removing the bug would be what’s decent and right.”
Jamie’s lips twitched. “I’m not decent and right, Jane.”
My heart lurched. I bent my head to his and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his mouth. “Yes, you are. I just need to remind you.”
Hours later, after we’d made love again, as my eyelids grew heavy with sleep, I remembered that Jamie didn’t sleep well, and that he needed the window open to even try. Feeling the smooth rise and fall of his chest beneath mine, I lifted my head to tell him I’d open the window but then halted.
Seeing his eyes closed, I whispered, “Jamie?”
No response.
“Baby?”
Not even a twitch.
Jamie was asleep.
A small, grateful smile tickled my lips as I carefully lowered my head back to his chest and closed my eyes.
Chapter 29
JAMIE
* * *
At some point in time, I’d convinced myself to treat the loss of Jane like a death. I hadn’t lied when I told her that I’d needed to hate her. To a certain extent, I’d always feel like I didn’t deserve her, but I couldn’t hate her anymore just to keep her at a distance.
The relief of knowing she’d never stop loving me was too great.
It was how I imagined it would feel to think someone you loved had passed away, only to discover they were still alive.
At first, I didn’t feel that relief. Instead, the grief I’d felt over losing her, the grief that had made me bitter more than anything else, turned to hurt and betrayal. Realizing my sister was to blame for events that had rocked my life was more than I could handle at that moment.
However, when the shock passed and the relief of having Jane back seeped in, it allowed me time to calm down. To be grateful to have her lying in bed beside me.
All of that stopped me from facing my fears, jumping on a plane, and confronting Lorna. I wanted to cut her out of my life for good.
I wasn’t a perfect man. I wasn’t very good at forgiving. Understatement.
I couldn’t forgive Lorna for taking Jane away, but I still needed to know why.
Slipping out of Jane’s bed that morning, my chest aching with a sweetness it hadn’t felt in a long time, I watched my girl sleep as I dressed. I didn’t understand what pulled us together. I didn’t know what made Jane Doe the only woman who satisfied my heart, body, and soul. I didn’t need to know.
I just had to do what I could to not lose her again.
If that meant cutting Lorna out of my life for fear of her fucking with us, then I’d do it.
Leaving a note for Jane on her pillow, I let myself out of her apartment and took a shower in mine. Once dressed, I sat down on my sofa with my phone in hand. My heart beat a mile a minute.
I dialed Lorna’s number.
And it went straight to voicemail.
Goddamn it!
I hung up, my knee bouncing with agitation.
“Screw it.” I called her again and when it went to voicemail, I stayed on the line. “Lorna, it’s me. I … I know about the letter you gave to Jane. I know what you did. If you love me at all, you’ll tell me why. Because”—I swallowed hard against my hurt and rage—“I don’t get how my sister could do that to me. I—” I hung up because I knew I was about to lose my temper. And I wanted answers. She’d never give them to me if I raged at her.
Pissed that I’d have to wait to talk to her, I called my PI and arranged to meet him at his office in thirty minutes. Burt Wethers was an ex-cop and friend of Irwin Alderidge. Irwin had put me in touch with Burt when I came out to LA to do what needed to be done. He was the guy who taught me about surveillance equipment, and he’s who I bought it from.
I glanced at
Jane’s door as I stepped out of mine, resisting the urge to walk on in and climb back into bed with her. As much as I loved her, there was still shit to do, and I couldn’t let myself get lost in her. Not yet.
Thirty minutes later I strode into Wethers’s dismal little downtown office. His AC must have been broken because the place was stifling. Sweat beaded across my skin as Wethers crossed the room to greet me.
He was short, balding, and probably hitting his fifties, but Wethers was also compact and strong, his biceps flexing with the handshake.
“What can I do for you?”
“I need more equipment. For Wright.”
Since Irwin trusted Wethers, I gave the guy some of my trust too. He knew about my plans, and that’s why he’d only do so much for me. As an ex-cop, he knew when the line was being crossed. It didn’t mean he wasn’t on my side. He’d left the force because he saw too much injustice. And he hated dirty fucking cops.
Wethers sighed heavily. “Well, funny you should call this morning because I was about to call you. And it’s about Wright.”
“What’s going on?”
“I’ve been keeping my ear to the ground about the people who did this to you, and Wright’s name popped up … with my contact at Internal Affairs.”
I slumped back in the plastic seat he’d offered me, my pulse speeding up. “What does that mean exactly?”
“They’re onto him, Jamie. Wright’s been taking bribes from all kinds of criminals in Los Angeles, as well as blackmailing prostitutes to give him part of their take to keep the cops off their backs.”
That son of a bitch. I curled my lip in disgust.
Wethers wore a similar look. “He got a new partner two years ago. This guy clocked him. Internal Affairs have been on him ever since.”
There was no part of me that wanted to like Lincoln Gaines after seeing him kiss Jane, but I couldn’t help it. Jane had been right. Gaines was a good guy.
“You need to back off Wright. You go poking around while they’re investigating him, you’ll just draw unwanted attention.”
“You’re sure about this?”
“Absolutely. That guy is going down, and soon.”
The uncertainty didn’t sit right with me, but rationally, I knew Wethers made sense. I couldn’t be caught doing illegal shit like planting a bug in a cop’s apartment. It was out of my hands now. A waiting game to see what IA did.
Feeling a mixed bag of emotions, I thanked Wethers and left his office. If IA took down Wright, then I had my justice. I just had to hope they didn’t fuck it up.
There was only one person I wanted to see, to tell, so I drove back to the apartment. My phone rang while I was driving, and a New York number popped up. My agent.
“Are you ignoring my emails?” Susan asked without preamble when I picked up.
“No.” I wasn’t. I’d just been preoccupied. “Just got some stuff going on.”
“Well, I need an answer, Jamie.”
Knowing Susan referred to her phone call of three weeks ago and the subsequent emails, I sighed. A popular streaming service wanted to buy the rights to Brent 29. They had a vision of turning it into a miniseries. Considering my complicated feelings about the TV and movie industry, I’d been dragging my heels.
Now, though, I had someone else I could talk to about it.
“I’ll call you back tomorrow with an answer. I promise.”
“One more day, Jamie.”
We hung up just as I swung into my space at the apartment complex. I was unclipping my seat belt when the damn phone rang. This time it was my sister’s number. Heart racing, I got out of the car and hit the answer button.
“Jamie …” The line crackled as she breathed heavily.
I hurried into the building, stomach roiling as I waited for her to say more. “Well?”
Taking the steps two at a time, I heard my sister crying. Instinct was to protect, but I held fast to my anger as I let myself into Jane’s apartment. She was sitting at her kitchen counter eating toast, and I lifted a finger to stop her from speaking. Then I hit the speaker button on my phone.
“Lorna, I’m not going to listen to you cry. It’s not gonna work.”
Jane’s eyes widened and she dropped her toast to slide off the stool. She’d showered too, her hair still damp, but piled on top of her head in a messy bun. Wearing jean shorts and a tank top, she was so beautiful, it was a sting in my chest.
Despite my tangled emotions, something in me eased as she sat on the sofa and took my free hand, pulling me down beside her.
Finally, Lorna’s sniffling stopped. “I’m just … I’m afraid she’s lied to you about me.”
Jane’s eyes narrowed in outrage, and I squeezed her hand in reassurance.
“No lies, Lorna. You gave her a letter I wrote to Dad when I was fifteen, and you pretended I wrote it to her. Why the fuck—” I cut off at Jane’s returning squeeze. Looking at her, she shook her head. Stay calm, she mouthed. I took a deep breath. She was right. Losing it on Lorna would only make her hang up. “Why would you do that? You knew I needed her.”
Lorna was silent so long, I thought she’d hung up. Then, “You couldn’t see it, but I could. She ruined everything. She read Skye’s diaries and gave them to you, knowing how you would react. She should have burned them.”
Anger boiled inside me. “You really believe that? What about Skye?”
“What could we do for her now? She’s gone.” Lorna’s voice broke. “We couldn’t reveal what had been done because it wasn’t our story to tell, and she couldn’t give us permission to do that. It would’ve been better to have just left it alone. But, no, Jane had to tell you, knowing what it would do to you.”
“So you fucked us over?”
“I didn’t do it to fuck you over. I really believe you’re better off without her. I … I did it for that, and, yes, I did it to hurt Jane.”
Jane stiffened beside me. She stared at the floor, her cheeks flushed with emotion. Lorna had once been her best friend, her family.
“Why?”
“Because … Because I pushed Skye away because of her.” Lorna cried, and this time it sounded genuine. “I was so mad at Skye for not seeing my side of things when you and Jane started dating. It was like Jane came along and gave her the kid sister she’d always wanted. And Jane … I loved Jane, and she chose you over me, Jamie. Do you know how much that hurt?”
Jane winced and tried to tug her hand from mine, but I wouldn’t let her.
“Lorna, you know you only felt that way because of Dad. Skye loved you. Jane loved you. You didn’t have to make it a choice. You forced that.”
“I didn’t force Skye to play favorites, to choose sides. And she did. And I was so mad at her, Jamie, and I pushed her away and then … she died while I was mad at her. I hate myself for that! But what could I do? So I took it out on Jane. I hurt Jane because I couldn’t take it out on myself.”
Jane pulled away and strode across the room. With her back to me, I could see her trying to get control of her breathing, to calm down.
I understood. I was struggling myself. “What about me? I’d just had my life stolen, and Jane was the only thing keeping me going. How the hell could you do that to me?”
“I thought I was doing you a favor.”
She thought she was doing me a favor.
Six years of mourning Jane. Hating her. Loving her and hating myself for loving her.
Never mind the things I’d done and said to her in the last few weeks.
Things I’d spend the rest of our lives making up for.
All because my little sister was selfish to her fucking core.
“We’re done, Lorna.”
Jane whirled around, watching me carefully.
I nodded at her in reassurance, my jaw clenched so tight so I wouldn’t say awful shit to my sister I couldn’t take back.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t forgive you,” I admitted. “I’ve had to live six years of my life withou
t the person who makes my life worthwhile. I can’t get those years back and neither can she. We can’t forget how that’s changed us. You did that to us. I’ll never be able to look at you the same way again. I’ll never be able to trust you enough to have you back in my life.”
“Jamie,” Lorna sobbed. “Please don’t say that.”
I swallowed down the emotion, hating that it still hurt to hurt her. “Goodbye, Lorna.” I hung up and threw the phone on the table, trying to hold myself together.
“It’s always something,” I said, my voice hoarse. “The good shines in.” I gazed up Jane. “It shines in so fucking bright, I can’t believe my luck … and then a cloud passes over and puts me back in the shade.”
Jane crossed the room and I pulled her between my legs, resting my forehead against her stomach, binding my arms tightly around her. Her fingers smoothed through my hair and down my neck, her nails lightly scratching my nape, causing goose bumps to prickle across my skin.
I held on tighter, breathing her in.
“One day,” she whispered, “we’re going to have that future we always talked about. A little place in the quiet … somewhere so beautiful that even the shade can’t dull the shine.”
Chapter 30
JANE
* * *
The yellow building gleamed in the morning sunshine. I imagined the owners painted it that color so people would feel happier about entering it to talk about all the shit that made them unhappy.
I still felt sick as I stared at it. My palms were clammy too.
Not just because I hated confrontation, but because I intended to ruin Jamie’s plans.
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