‘Okay,’ she says, in a very subdued little voice. At long last, she’s desperate enough to do something.
27
Yet again, I’m glad it’s Monday morning. Even though that means Karina. I wonder if Marcus has been on his date with Rachel yet and if he took her to one of those lovely pubs he took me to? Or if he kissed her? On the cheek like he did me or on the lips, I wonder, with a flare of jealousy that I can’t ignore.
This morning I do my best Miss Moneypenny hairstyle and I’m wearing my favourite boots with heels. Which with my smartest, tailored trousers next to Karina’s expanding middle, have got to make me look at least a bit sylph-like. Anyway, with Zac looking more and more like a permanent fixture, I don’t get to do much mucking out these days. And I’m quite enjoying my new image.
Beamish is the next to arrive, smartly dressed as ever in his usual checked shirt and tie, and a waistcoat under his jacket now that it’s getting colder.
‘Um Louisa. Jolly good. Just the person I wanted to see actually. Now.’
A feeling of dread descends on me, because I remember the last time he did this and seconds later, foisted Karina on me.
He clears his throat and looks around while he pontificates about what he’s going to say to me. Then he sits down opposite me and looks at me directly.
‘Um, now, tell me honestly,’ he says. ‘Er, what do you think of um, Stella?’
Oh my gosh. Shouldn’t he be asking one of the vets? Or Agnes? Oh, but she’s not here and lucky old me, I am.
‘Well…’ I start, very cautiously, thinking just how I put into words that while she’s a jolly good vet, or so I’m told by all and sundry, when it comes to clients, she’s more like a human bulldozer.
‘She’s a good vet isn’t she? Um, and very, very experienced…’ I emphasise. ‘But, you know, maybe she could possibly do with just the tiniest bit of well, coaching, I suppose you could say, with the customer relations side of things, if you know what I mean?’
I pause, hoping that will be the end of it. Beamish looks at me sideways and nods his head. Then he says, quite succinctly for him, ‘Hmmph. Thought that might be the case. Um, have you er, heard anything Louisa?’
‘Oh no, no.’ I say, shaking my head. ‘Well, that is if you don’t count Mrs Brazier last week, who was just a little bit unhappy, but I calmed her down, and she was fine, Beamish, so don’t worry about that.’
‘Hmmph. Er, anything else?’ he asks.
Bugger.
‘I think it might be best if you have a little chat with Miles,’ I suggest, smiling encouragingly at him.
‘Miles? Hmmph. Yes, jolly good idea. Good. Well. Thank you Louisa. You’ve been um, jolly helpful.’
He carries on sitting there, then adds, ‘Now, about that um, boy out there…Zac isn’t it? Quite a useful little chap I would think…’
‘Yes, he is.’ I reply, realising it’s true.
‘Excellent,’ says Beamish and with that, he’s off, to wait for Miles I presume.
Oops. Sounds like Stella’s in the pooh. I wonder exactly what else Beamish has heard? I don’t have to wait long to find out. Beamish and Miles both look extremely serious after their little confab and they ask me to call Stella to see if she’s able to come in for a meeting later today.
Karina’s very quiet this morning.
‘You okay?’ I ask her. Well, she was nice to me last week, wasn’t she?
‘Yes, thank you,’ she replies, and carries on with the mountain of filing I’ve given her. Actually, if I wanted to, I could totally abuse my position of authority here and give her the most God-awful jobs I could dream up. So she’s quite lucky it’s just filing.
So, it’s all fun and games here today. Even more so, when Stella appears for her meeting with the mighty joint-senior-partners, and after a heated exchange which the closed door fails to muffle, storms out ten minutes later with a face like thunder.
I catch Miles and ask him what’s going on. After all, I need to know, now that I’m running this office.
‘We had to give her a warning,’ he says, ‘about how she speaks to the clients. Which is perfectly reasonable in the circumstances.’ He sighs unhappily. Poor Miles is not cut out for these little confrontations. ‘Then she told us that there was no way she would compromise her standards and keep her professional opinion to herself where a horse’s welfare was at stake, and told us, and I quote, we could poke our lousy job.’
Actually I’d heard that bit. Stella’s quite loud. Miles, however, is looking worried. Even though she’s been a liability, Stella’s eased everyone else’s workload no end. Until now.
‘So,’ he says. ‘I’m afraid it’s back to square one.’
Oh bloody hell, I’m thinking. I was afraid that was coming. That whole recruitment palava all over again.
‘I hate to ask,’ he continues despondently, ‘but is there any chance you could unearth Agnes’s last advert? Oh, and maybe contact the candidates we never got round to interviewing last time…You never know, one of them might be right for us.’
But he’s not sounding convinced. I try to imagine what Agnes would suggest. When I go to see her later, the news has reached her ahead of me and I’m most gratified to see that Marcus’s super-duper ultra-expensive bouquet has already wilted, while my cheerful little flowers are still going strong.
‘I was beginning to wonder about her,’ she says knowingly, about Stella. Then she adds, ‘Why don’t you ask Marcus, Louisa? See if he knows of anyone who’s looking for a job.’
I open my mouth and then close it again, like a goldfish. Okay, I will - and no doubt let him make me feel useless as usual. But only because Agnes has asked me to.
‘How much longer are they keeping you in?’ I ask her, to change the subject. It feels like it’s been ages.
‘They say at least another week, possibly two. And then they want me resting at home for a good while. But don’t worry, Louisa, I’ll be back at work as soon as I’m on my feet again.’
‘Oh no.’ I say it very firmly. ‘No, Agnes. You’ll do exactly what the doctors tell you. And everything at work will be fine. I’ll make sure of that, I promise you.’
I don’t know if that reassures her - she lies her head back and sighs.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I eventually get home to my cottage, which feels like a refuge from the multitude of problems pervading my life at the moment. I want to lock the whole world out, as I brush Elmer’s coat - which I never do - and tell her she’s lovely, which I absolutely never do. And then I go outside and hug Horace and kiss his nose, and adjust the expensive new rug he’s wearing.
But typically, as fate would have it, just a short while later, one of my problems materialises right before me. Emma. And oh… dear… bugger…she’s with Ben, and they’re both looking extremely serious.
‘I hope you don’t mind, Lou,’ she says most apologetically, but with a hint of determination about her. ‘But I asked Ben to come with me, so you could tell him that what I’m about to say is true.’
Nice of you to warn me, Em. Just when I was beginning to unwind, too. Oh well, they’re here now. Best just get this over with.
‘Come inside and I’ll put the kettle on.’ I give Emma a look and smile at Ben, who has no idea what’s going on.
We sit at my table, and Emma explains to Ben that she’s addicted to astrology. He looks baffled.
‘Horoscopes,’ I chip in helpfully, just to make sure he follows. Then I add, ‘Ever since her marriage broke up, they’ve become a crutch and Emma’s become utterly reliant on them. Emma is an addict.’ I spell it out. ‘She knows that, don’t you Emma?’
I give her another look and she glares at me. ‘But more importantly, she’s doing something about it. Aren’t you Emma?’ I look at her again, and this time she nods her head frantically.
‘Oh yes. I am, Ben…And I’m not on drugs or anything, I promise you.’
Oh God. I rest my head, which is starting to throb, wearily in my hand
s. Now why did she have to mention drugs? Ben’s looking at her as though she’s mad. I’m almost inclined to agree with him.
Eventually he agrees that they haven’t broken up, but says that from here on, she absolutely has to talk to him about it and more importantly, she has to get some help. In pure desperation, she agrees – I think she’d shave her hair off if Ben asked her to - but hallelujah, it seems that he’s succeeded where my best efforts have failed. I’m very glad when they leave, holding hands, albeit sheepishly.
My life is suddenly going mad, I realise, as I remember my promise to Agnes - now I have to talk to Marcus.
28
Karina’s in a very funny mood this morning. Probably hormones. She’s bitten my head off already and I daren’t let her answer any phones. In fact, she’s showing worrying signs of becoming a Stella.
Marcus comes in, looking very chirpy and well, handsome I suppose. Very clean and scrubbed for a vet in the middle of the morning. How come he’s so late? And looking so chipper?
‘Ah, Marcus,’ I say in my best Miss Moneypenny voice. I really need some of those tiny glasses so that I can peer provocatively over the top of them at him…Hmmm…. And maybe a tight skirt or a different hairstyle.
‘Yes, Louisa?’ He waits patiently for me to stop my mental ramblings.
‘Ah, yes,’ I say, suddenly remembering what I wanted to talk to him about. ‘Well, you know we’re going to need another vet, well, I was talking to Agnes about it and well…’
He’s starting to look less patient.
‘She wondered if you knew anyone who might be interested?’ I finish brightly. And preferably male, good looking and single would be good too.
‘Actually I might,’ he says thoughtfully. ‘Leave it with me - I’ll make a couple of calls.’
And I resign myself to the fact that Marcus will undoubtedly dredge up an uber-glamorous she-vet or two, just to make me feel more inadequate than ever.
‘How’s Rachel by the way?’ I say to his retreating back.
He stiffens slightly but pretends he didn’t hear me. Moments later I hear the Land Cruiser roar off out of the yard. But true to his word, he calls later and asks me to pass on a message to Beamish and Miles.
‘Mate of mine from Cirencester,’ he says. ‘Chap called Will Farley. Says he’s looking for a change, so can you give them his number for me?’
Will Farley… Sounds dreamy… I bet he’s tall and dark…athletic rather than muscular, quite serious and deeply, disturbingly sexy… It’s amazing how much you can tell just from a name. I have a feeling this Will Farley is going to be most interesting.
My attention is soon drawn back to Karina, however, who looks mightily pissed off. In the end I ask her what on earth is the matter, if nothing else because she’s creating a really bad atmosphere.
‘Karina? Obviously there’s something wrong, so why don’t you tell me what it is? You never know, maybe I can help?’ I say doubtfully.
She snorts derisively at me, which rather takes me aback. After all, I’m genuinely trying to help the girl…
‘Oh, I suppose HE’ll tell you sooner or later so I may as well fill you in,’ she says bitterly. ‘I chucked Arian out.’
Oh God. Not again.
‘What happened this time?’ I ask, a little wearily. Cancel all aspirations about seducing Will Farley. It’s honestly far simpler to be single.
‘He’s useless,’ she says heatedly. ‘Unsupportive, unhelpful, un-anything else you can think of…’ she says angrily.
‘Like unfaithful?’ I suggest. She ignores me.
‘He doesn’t understand that I’m working too, even though I’m not flying. He treats my job here like something I do for fun. He has no idea how tired I get, and expects me to do his washing and cook supper every night.’ Then she looks at me.
‘I can’t believe I’m talking to you, of all people, like this,’ she says, shaking her head with disbelief. ‘You should hate me.’
Truth is, I honestly don’t. I’m fully cleansed and abluted of all carnal feelings towards Arian. Have been for ages, as I told Marcus. It’s hardly my fault if no-one believes me.
‘Karina. It truly doesn’t bother me in the slightest, you talking like this. More than anything else, I think I understand better than anyone what you’re talking about, don’t I?’
She thinks, then giggles. ‘This is weird.’
It is. Deeply weird. ‘The trouble is, you and Arian are the parents of that baby you’re carrying. Isn’t it worth at least trying to make him understand? To see things from your point of view? Believe me, it’s never been one of his strengths, but you’d be doing him an enormous favour - even if you do still break up with him…’
She says stroppily, ‘I’ll think about what you’ve said. But I’m too angry at the moment.’
Then she adds, ‘Thanks.’
‘You’re welcome.’
It’s almost as though Agnes is back in residence as miraculous things start happening all over the place and a tall, muscly and extremely attractive man wanders into our office.
‘Hi,’ he says loudly, in broad American. ‘I’m Will. Will Farley. Old mate of Marcus. I was just passing, so I thought I’d call in and introduce myself.’
Oh. Wow. Just this once, I’ll ignore that ‘just passing’ line that usually has me spitting blood. This man is drop dead gorgeous. I was right, wasn’t I? I just knew he’d be handsome. Okay, so the dark, athletic part was a bit out – but who cares? And that accent…
‘I’m Louisa,’ I say, holding my stomach in and giving him my most beaming smile.
‘Oh, and that’s Karina over there,’ I say, nodding in her direction. It’s absolutely pointless her trying to hold her stomach in. Ha. But she doesn’t need to, because even pregnant, she’s stunning.
Will positively beams at us. ‘Gee. Great to meet you both. Hey, do you know if Beamish is around? Or Miles isn’t it, the other guy?’
‘I’ll find out for you,’ I say, being very efficient and determined to make a good first impression. I call Miles on his mobile and tell him that Will’s here about the job. It turns out that Miles is already on his way, so I relay this back to Will.
‘Hey,’ he says. ‘That’s cool. Okay if I wait here with you?’
Karina and I look at each other and shrug. Her cheeks have flushed the most delicate shade of pink, making her even lovelier than ever.
‘Of course,’ we reply in unison. How could we possibly object to this gorgeous American brightening up our little office.
‘Say, how did you two get to be working here?’ he asks jovially. Just being friendly. We tell him, and explain about Agnes.
‘So do you guys go out after work then?’ he asks.
‘Some of us,’ I say, just as Karina says clearly ‘No.’
Will raises his eyebrows at us.
Karina looks at me and seems to be trying not to giggle again. She’s definitely in an odd mood today.
‘Just tell him, Louisa. That I’m pregnant with our ex’s baby…’ and with that she screams with laughter and collapses on her desk.
‘Don’t worry about her,’ I say calmly. ‘It’s probably just a mood swing. She’s hormonal.’
But Will’s looking highly amused by now. And he’s obviously intrigued.
‘Holy cow,’ he says. ‘You girls share an ex?’ His eyes are like saucers.
Holy shit, I think. He better not go getting any weird ideas about me and Karina. Things are already weird enough.
‘Yes,’ I say firmly. ‘One Arian Mulholland, serial philanderer and misunderstander of all women, especially pregnant ones.’
Will’s tickled. ‘Gee,’ he says, grinning widely. ‘This Arian guy sounds a real card. I’d like to meet him!’ Then he adds, his eyes lighting up, ‘Say, do you guys come as a pair?’
I think this is the point where looking at my expression, he realises he might have pushed his luck a tad too far, because he rapidly adds, ‘Hey, just kidding…’
Fortunately for him, Miles arrives in the nick of time, and Will hot foots it out of the office to meet him. Shortly after, there’s the sound of another car pulling up outside. A Land Cruiser, I do believe. Marcus.
29
As Karina correctly predicted, it took Arian just two days before he turned up on my doorstep. Again.
‘To what do I owe this unexpected surprise?’ I say, utterly unsurprised to see him there.
Give him his due. He does look quite dejected.
‘Can I come in?’ he asks. ‘Only I think I could do with some advice.’
Blimey. I’m beginning to wish everyone would keep their problems to themselves – or else I should charge.
I look at my watch. ‘You can have twenty minutes,’ I tell him. ‘Then I’m going out.’ Ha. Good thinking. I’m not of course, but he doesn’t know that. Maybe that’s the
way to play it. Allocate all of them twenty minutes, then chuck them out.
‘Karina’s thrown me out,’ he says miserably.
‘I know,’ I say. ‘And to be honest, Arian, I don’t blame her.’
Instead of trying to bluff, he sighs. Maybe he’s finally getting the message that as far as women are concerned, he really is worse than useless. I do feel just a tiny bit sorry for him, after all, he doesn’t seem able to get very much right at the moment.
‘You know,’ I say. ‘Perhaps if you were to try and understand what Karina’s going through, you might be a little more tolerant and considerate. Like, do you know that she has terrible indigestion? And that if she stands for too long her ankles swell? And that carrying the baby means her body is working twice as hard as usual? She gets tired, Arian, in a way you’ve never experienced, even after a whole week of night flights.’
I let my words sink in and give him plenty of time, because after all, this is Arian we’re talking about. Then I carry on.
‘What Karina needs is someone to take the load off her. To do the ironing, the shopping and the cooking… help with the housework and make her peppermint tea, which she can drink while she sits with her feet up to stop her ankles swelling and who tells her how radiantly beautiful she looks him, even though she just feels fat and whale-like… She is beautiful, Arian. You should tell her.’
The Impossible Search for the Perfect Man Page 16