by Sarah Hegger
Last night had, however, confirmed her instinct around keeping her distance from Gabe. The danger to her heart grew with every encounter.
Gabe had left a sticky note on her fridge. Gone to see a woman about a dog. We need to talk.
Wasn’t that supposed to be her line?
See you later.
Fortunately, the coffee needs of Twin Elks waited for no woman’s naval gazing and she got ready for work and out the door at her usual time.
Peg sensed her mood and kept the chatter to a minimum.
She carried on with her day feeling scratchy beneath her skin. Something was very off, and she couldn’t put her finger on it. Gabe had been different last night. There had been an unguarded look in his eyes that made her heart beat faster. It also made it hard for her to breathe.
He texted her twice during the day, but she didn’t answer him. She needed to walk her talk and put distance between them.
Still nothing from India. Like she did every day, Kelly sent her an innocuous message. If Piers read the text it would look like nothing more than a quick hello, how are you. But Kelly extended that contact so India would remember she was still there for her.
Vince came in near closing time. They’d dropped all pretense of small talk. “Any word?”
“Nope.” Kelly shook her head. She made Vince his regular coffee and sat down at the counter opposite him while Peg closed.
Vince was a good-looking guy and certainly a nice enough one. Any woman in his life would be treated like a princess. Even Chelsea, who he’d never loved, had always gotten the best of Vince.
“Vince?”
He looked up at her, and then he flinched. “Uh-oh.”
“Uh-oh what?” She hadn’t said anything yet.
Vince jabbed his forefinger at her. “That’s the face you get when you’re going to ask some sort of penetrating question.”
“Really?” She checked her reflection in the stainless steel of the coffee maker. “I have a face for that?”
“Most women do.” Vince nodded. “Hit me with it.”
She intended to anyway. “Do you think we were ever in love? Like really in love?”
“I was.” He looked affronted. “You were my entire world, and I was devastated when you broke up with me.”
“But you’re not anymore?”
He gave her a sweet smile. “No. Not anymore, but I was for a long time.” Then he frowned. “Are you saying you weren’t really in love with me?”
“I thought I was.” She tried to sort her swirling thoughts. Her head had been doing a vortex impersonation all day. “But if we were really that in love, don’t you think we would have tried harder to be together?”
Vince looked struck by that. “I had a baby on the way. I needed to step up and do the right thing.”
“But that didn’t necessarily mean marriage.” Kelly had no idea where she was going with that, but she couldn’t make sense of her confusion.
“Not for me,” Vince said. “I was raised that way.”
That made sense. “Do you think we would have lasted?”
“I can’t say for sure.” Vince shrugged. “But I would have given anything to try.”
“Oh, Vince.” He was such a good, honest man and she gave him a hug. “You really are a good guy. I hope my sister is smarter than I was.”
“I don’t—”
“Please, Vince.” She pinned him with a look. “Let’s not pretend on this one. You have feelings for India. Strong ones.” She kissed his cheek. “And I’m glad you do. If she ever gets her shit together, she’s going to need someone like you.”
Still blushing, Vince nodded.
“What about you and Gabe?” He turned the tables on her. “What’s happening with you guys?”
Kelly breathed through the chest constriction. “He’s leaving. We can never be any more than we are.”
“That’s not what I heard.” Vince frowned. “I heard from Ronnie who had it from Cara that she and Gabe are going into partnership together.”
The blood drained from her head and she stared at Vince. “What?”
“Ronnie took her poodle to Cara this morning, and Gabe was there. When Ronnie asked Cara about it, she said Gabe had decided to buy into the business.” Vince frowned at her. “You didn’t know this?”
“We haven’t really spoken in the last day or so.” Gabe was staying in Twin Elks? And he hadn’t told her? She could drive herself mad trying to decipher the whys and wherefores of that.
His note had said he was going to see a woman about a dog. That must have been Cara. She checked her last text.
I’ll be around at 7:30. And then another text. Kelly?!
They needed to talk, they really did, but she was struggling to pull air into her lungs. She was on the verge of what felt like a panic attack with no idea why.
“Kelly?” Vince hovered over her. “Are you going to faint?”
“No.” But she held on to the counter anyway because her legs were like jelly. Gabe was staying in Twin Elks. What the hell did that mean?
Shit! That’s where her future dreams stopped. It had been bundled under the general heading of “and they lived happily ever after.” There was no detail to that hazy future dream.
She needed to think, so she sent back a text. Really tired. Rain check?
He came back immediately. Sure.
*
A night’s sleep brought no more clarity, but the day following did bring more texts from Gabe. He was getting pissed at her, and she didn’t blame him. She couldn’t avoid him forever, especially not in a town the size of Twin Elks. A town he was now staying in.
She didn’t even really understand why she was avoiding him. But every time she thought of seeing him, her chest tightened, and she struggled to breathe.
Her reprieve ended that evening as she got home from her store.
Gabe sat on the top step outside her condo, his long legs stretched out in front of him.
“Hey.” She tried to keep it light as she smiled up at him. “Are you my new garden gnome?”
Face carved from stone, Gabe stood. “Let’s take this inside.”
“Okay.” So, not laughing today. Not even cracking a glimmer of a smile. Her hands shook as she opened her front door and stepped inside. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“No.” Gabe crossed his arms. “But you can tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.”
She couldn’t answer that. “You didn’t tell me you’d decided to stay in Twin Elks.”
“You didn’t give me the chance.” He pointed to his sticky note still on the front of her fridge. “But it does say on there that we need to talk.” He held out his phone. “As it does in the barrage of texts I’ve been sending you.”
“So, let’s talk.” She hung up her coat and dropped her purse. Hiding from him was beyond juvenile. “You go first.”
Needing fortification, she put the kitchen counter between them and poured them both a glass of wine. It seemed like the sort of conversation that would need it.
“I realized that I wanted to be here.” He shrugged. “As much as I loved what I used to do, I want something different now. My priorities have changed.”
“So, you turned down both job offers?”
“I turned the one down in Australia.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “And I sent Belinda back to Australia.”
“What about South Africa?”
Gabe stared at her before he answered, “Really?”
“What?”
“We’re going to play this that way.” Gabe clenched his jaw. “You’re going to keep firing questions at me and avoid answering my initial question.”
Busted, she sipped her wine and tried to find something to say. Then she got as close to the truth as she could. “I’m scared.”
&
nbsp; “I get that.” He took the other glass of wine and sipped. “What I don’t get is why.”
“I don’t either.” And tears pricked the back of her eyelids. “I don’t understand why this is happening to me.”
He stared at her.
Kelly fidgeted with her glass, caught herself and met his gaze. “What?”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought you had feelings for me.” This new formal Gabe was intimidating. “The entire reason you ended things was to protect yourself.”
“Both of us. I was protecting both of us.” That was not the problem. Or maybe it was. “You changed the rules, Gabe. You were never going to stay, and I never let myself entertain the notion that you might. I’m battling to switch gears.”
“Uh-huh.” He didn’t look like he was buying a word of it. “Bullshit.”
Clearly, not buying. “It’s not bullshit.”
“Yeah, it is.” His eyes had gone onyx hard as he finished his wine. “I have a different theory on Kelly Ashford.”
“I’m not interested.” He clearly had her confused with someone who would put up with crap.
He came around the island toward her. “You were closest to the truth when you said you were scared.” He closed the distance between them until their toes bumped. “But you didn’t go far enough. You’re terrified.”
Kelly held her ground. “That’s not true.”
“Sure it is.” He shrugged. “You’re feeling trapped, and you’re chewing your leg off to get free.”
“I’m not trapped.” But that breathing difficulty was recurring. “This. Us. We aren’t…” She didn’t know what they were.
“And that’s how you like it. Isn’t it, Kelly?” His gaze bored through to her soul. “You specialize in relationships where there isn’t a chance in hell of them growing into anything bigger.”
He’d crossed a line now. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“The only other serious relationship you’ve ever had has been with Vince. A man married to another woman.” He shook his head. “It’s so much easier for you to be the girl that got left behind than to actually step into the scary world of putting your heart on the line.”
“I loved Vince.” But had she really? Hadn’t she asked Vince that very question yesterday? Vince had come back with a positive yes. He had loved her. But she hadn’t been able to say the same. Gabe had cut far too close to the raw truth, and she bit back. “We aren’t even in a relationship. So far, we’ve not been anything more than fuck buddies, and you were more than happy with that.”
“Fuck buddies.” He stepped away from her. “You really fight dirty, Kelly.”
“I fight dirty?” She couldn’t believe the nerve of him. “You accused me of being too chickenshit to have a real relationship.”
He gave her hard stare. “You choose unavailable men, Kelly, and you do it because you’re the one who’s not available. It’s easier to be the victim though, isn’t it?”
She was so angry she wanted to pick up the wine bottle and hit him with it. “Get out!”
“I’m going.” Anger darkened his expression. “But let me send that panic attack you’re having into a tailspin. Those feelings you have for me, Kelly. I have them for you too. Big time.” As a declaration, it lacked a lot in the delivery, but the unflinching truth was right in front of her. “In fact, I’ve got them so bad that I want to see where they lead. I want to see if this is the real thing because I suspect that for me, it is.”
She had to force air into her starved lungs. It sounded a lot like he was telling her he was in love with her. But she was too chickenshit to ask and confirm it.
She wasn’t scared of getting involved. She knew how to love. He couldn’t be right.
Could he?
Gabe turned and stalked for the door. He yanked it open and looked over his shoulder. “Get your shit together, Kelly. We could have something special here, if you are ever brave enough to reach out and grab it.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Kelly woke the next morning with a heavy head and sticky eyes from crying herself to sleep the night before. She wanted to march up to Gabe and tell him he didn’t know anything about her. Demand that he take back his stupid accusations.
She’d had plenty of committed relationships. Except, she couldn’t think of one example.
But, what had happened in high school hadn’t been her fault. Vince hadn’t been to blame either. They both wanted different things, and he hadn’t wanted to leave Twin Elks.
Then he’d tried to make it up with her, and she’d been too young and stupid to hear him. And too frightened of getting hurt. Too afraid what Vince wanted from her was a commitment about the future. Young as they had been at the time, Vince had been talking about their future together. Down the road he had been thinking marriage and children.
Her chest tightened and she had to suck in a deep breath. Her heart beat erratically and sweat broke out.
She forced herself out of bed and got ready for her day. As she stepped into the shower, her breathing eased. Gabe’s point might apply to her and Vince. She might have chewed her leg off to get out of that. But she’d been eighteen. Who wanted to get tied down at eighteen?
Vince had.
He’d said when she had asked him that he had wanted to take their relationship all the way.
Okay, so Vince was one relationship and a first love. It didn’t really count. What about the other men?
She did a mental inventory as she got dressed. One depressing conclusion kept coming back to her. All those relationships had ended because they hadn’t been Vince. But if she hadn’t, deep down, really wanted Vince and her to grow into a forever thing, did that prove Gabe’s thesis?
It seemed unthinkable now, but she might have used Vince as an excuse to get out of all her previous relationships.
Gabe had snuck up on her. She hadn’t seen him coming. Not when they had gotten drunk and fell into bed that first night, nor any of the nights following. Not even when he took such tender care of her after Piers’s attack.
He’d snuck under her guard. She’d allowed herself to feel for him because he was going away, and it wouldn’t cost her anything. By the time she’d pulled back, it had already been too late.
Staring at her reflection, Kelly had to sit down. Gabe had called it.
Now what?
The doorbell rang, and her heart knocked against her ribs. She couldn’t decide if she was more hopeful or dread filled that she would open her door and Gabe would be standing on the other side.
With a deep breath she yanked the door open.
India stood there with Jacob in her arms. A new black eye said it all. Opening her arms, Kelly pulled her sister and her nephew into a hug. She let her senses absorb the reality of them being there. She let all of her take them in.
“Can I come in?” India whispered against her shoulder.
Kelly stepped aside. “Of course, you can.”
“I didn’t know…” India flinched. “After going back to Piers, I didn’t know if I was welcome.”
Kelly didn’t hesitate. “You’re always welcome here.”
“He did it again.” India pointed at her eye. “And you told me so.”
“That doesn’t matter. I really didn’t want to be right about this.” Kelly hesitated. She was relieved India was there, but this time, she was going to wait and hear where India’s head was. “You have my support, India, but you can’t ask me to accept you going back to Piers again.”
India nodded. “I get that. I suppose I wanted too much for things to be right between Piers and me. I didn’t want to accept that our marriage was over.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. While I was here with you and Dot, seeing how other people were...How Vince treated me. How Gabe treated you. It changed something in me. Even when I
was with Piers this time, I couldn’t shut the door on the doubts.”
“Did you tell Vince you were here?” Kelly took Jacob from her sister and led her to the sofa. “He’s been really worried about you. He’s contacted me daily.”
Taking a seat, India shook her head. She looked sad. “I haven’t. I want to call him. It’s not that I don’t want to see him, but this is all…too much. I need time.”
“Fair enough. But I am going to tell him you’re safe and here. ” Kelly wouldn’t push her. It wouldn’t be fair to Vince to pretend India was anywhere near ready to jump into something new. “What are you going to do about Piers?”
India squared her shoulders. “I want a divorce.”
“Do you know a lawyer?” India was a grown woman, and she needed to own this or the worst might happen, and she would turn back around again.
India shook her head. “I thought I could ask around town and see if anyone can help.”
“Dot or Peg would be the best people to ask.” Kelly took Jacob into the kitchen. “Has he had breakfast?”
“Not yet.” India handed him over. “I waited for Piers to go for his run yesterday evening.” She giggled. “I stole his car.”
Kelly blinked at India. This was a side to India she’d never seen. “You did?”
“How else was I going to get out of there?” India shrugged. “I didn’t stop until I crossed the state line into Colorado. He can’t press charges here without risking arrest. And it made it a lot more difficult for him to come after me without a car.”
“I like it.” Finding her first smile of the day, Kelly put Jacob on the floor and fetched a set of blocks India had left behind and put them in front of him. In her kitchen, she put juice into a sippy cup for him. “Are you hungry too?”
“I am.” India nodded. “But I can take care of that. You need to open your store.”
“I’ll call Peg, and she can open.” Piers knew exactly where her condo was and this time he wouldn’t hesitate to come straight there. Despite India having his car, Kelly had no doubt Piers would find his way back. He regarded India and Jacob as his property, and he would want to get it back.