by JC Gatlin
Abbie looked up from her phone. “I’m texting back to see who this is.”
“No, no, no. That’s against the rules.” McKenzie grabbed Abbie’s phone, glanced at it, then handed it back to her. She told Abbie to read the text. Begrudgingly, Abbie read the first dare.
Abbie looked puzzled. “Is that a thing now? Are people actually saying that?”
“Go celebrate yo self!” Susan laughed at the phrase. Putting down her phone, she grabbed the paper bag from the coffee table and pulled out the cheap sparkling tiara.
“I told you this would come out to play later.” Susan placed the tiara on top Abbie’s head. Abbie cringed.
“I’m not wearing this stupid crown!” Abbie reached for the tiara as Susan grabbed her wrist.
“You gotta wear it, Princess.” Susan took a step back and quite openly appraised Abbie’s new look.
“Rules are rules.” McKenzie snapped a photo with her pink phone. “Besides, you look great. And if you want to see who the surprise guest is, you have to wear it.”
“Fine.” Abbie folded her arms across her chest and glanced up at her bangs. She could see the glittery edge of the crown as it slipped forward on her forehead. McKenzie took another photo then set down her phone.
“I’m posting these to Facebook.” McKenzie pointed to Abbie’s phone. “Now text our surprise guest that the mission has been accepted and completed.”
Abbie rolled her eyes, then grabbed her phone. She typed the statement and sent it. A moment later, the phones in the room dinged with the new text message. Susan shook her phone and held it to her ear. After a moment, she threw it on the coffee table. Abbie stared at her phone and read the new text message out loud.
Abbie looked up from her phone and shook her head . The tiara inched down her forehead. “I don’t know how to talk with a British accent.”
The girls laughed and Susan told her to try again.
“Actually…” Rocky reached toward Abbie and straightened the tiara. “There is no such thing as a British accent. There are many distinct accents in Britain.”
Lindsey nodded. “Good point. The texter will have to be more specific.”
Lindsay tapped her sister. “It’s a game. Who cares if it’s a British accent or a Cockney-Australian-Minnesotan accent with a Southern twist? It’s just a game.”
Lindsey winked at Rocky. “But he’s right. If something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.”
Rocky thanked her, then continued. “There are regional accents, such as Welsh, Irish, Scottish, Northeast, Northwest, Midlands, Southwest, East Anglia and the South East. But there is no generic British accent, per say.”
“Not that I would know what to say anyway,” Abbie said, her eyes glancing toward the ceiling. She could barely make-out the edge of the stupid tiara.
Susan reached over and adjusted the tiara on Abbie’s head. She took a step back with her arms folded, as if appraising merchandise at a garage sale. “Just talk like Rupert Giles. Pretend you’re Buffy’s Watcher.”
Abbie huffed, then said, “Bullocks! I'm so glad ter 'ave yew all at me birthday party. Nuff said, yeah?”
Susan’s eyes widened. “That’s bloody horrible!” She laughed and motioned to McKenzie and Rocky and the twins. “That’s quite possibly the worst British accent I’ve ever heard.”
“Ignore her. You’re doing great,” McKenzie said. “Now respond to your Surprise Guest that the second dare has been acknowledged.”
Abbie sighed. “Tell me what to text again?”
“Mission accepted and completed.” McKenzie pointed to Abbie’s phone, urging her to send the message.
Abbie typed it and hit send. A few minutes later, everyone’s phones beeped. Even Susan’s, which vibrated on the coffee table.
“Wha’dda ya know! My phone’s working.” Susan rushed to the table and picked it up. This time she read the text message.
“Oh, no!” Abbie tore the tiara off her head and tossed it to the sofa beside the cleaning lady. “I don’t want to leave the apartment.”
“You have to,” McKenzie said, picking-up the tiara and pointing to the sparkling letters emboldened across the crown. “See how it says, b-day girl. Well, you’re the b-day girl.”
“Just play along, Ab.” Rocky pushed his glasses further back on his nose as he spoke. “If you don’t do it then the game will be over and you won’t get to see your surprise guest.”
Susan held her phone to Abbie’s face as if to show her the text messages were finally appearing on the screen again. Abbie read the “kiss a bald man” dare again when Susan pulled her phone away. “Won’t it be kind of fun to find a bald man and ask him for a kiss with a British accent? You’re gonna get on everyone’s nerves real quick.”
“C’mon, b-day Girl! Let’s get going,” Lindsey and Lindsay said in unison. They each grabbed Abbie by the arm and pulled her toward the front door.
“This is going to be a night we’ll never forget,” Lindsey said, as she led Abbie out of the apartment and down the three flights of stairs.
“Well that remains to be seen.” Lindsay corrected her sister as she held Abbie’s other time. “You can’t force a good time. You just have to let it happen.”
“You don’t think we’re going to have fun tonight?” Lindsey yanked on Abbie’s arm as if Lindsay’s comment had gotten under her skin. Lindsay pulled Abbie back toward her.
“I’m not saying we’re not going to have fun or the night won’t be memorable,” Lindsay said. “I’m just saying you can’t force it.”
Together they stepped off the stairs to the courtyard and waited for the others to join them in the parking lot. Susan, Rocky and McKenzie came down the steps with Mr. Sherman and the cleaning lady tailing. Stepping off the curb, Mr. Sherman leaned against Susan’s blue Honda, seemingly out of breath, as everyone else launched into a search for a friendly bald man.
The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the parking lot. Kids skateboarded between the cars, and a college girl jogged around them. Legs stuck out from under a gray Buick where some guy was changing the oil. But no one fit the description. Finally Abbie saw a middle aged man in a bright red jump suit walking a bulldog. They could’ve been twins. Susan and McKenzie encouraged Abbie to approach him.
“Lor' luv a duck!” Abbie pushed Susan back and brushed past McKenzie. “Get off me back. I’ll do it. Okaaaaaay?”
Susan looked surprised and turned her head toward McKenzie. Abbie adjusted the tiara on her head and headed toward the bald man walking the bulldog.
“Hi.” She absentmindedly fiddled with her necklace. He stopped and nodded. The bulldog approached her. Sniffed her ankle. Abbie bent down and held out a hand, palm up, for the dog to sniff. Kneeling, she looked up at the bald man. “How’s it going?”
“With a British accent,” Susan demanded, coming up behind her.
Abbie shrugged and stood. “Lawd above! How are yew dewing?”
The bald man reared back. So did the bulldog. Susan laughed. “She’s not insane. It’s her twenty first birthday and we’re making her perform twenty one dares.”
He looked at Susan, then over at Abbie. “Well, have fun,” he said, pulling on the dog leash. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
He took a step forward and Susan placed a hand on his chest, holding him back. “Hold your horses, Captain Picard,” she said. “In addition to us making her talk with this incredibly stupid, horrendous British accent, she has to rub a bald man’s head and kiss it for good luck. It’s a birthday dare.”
The man laughed nervously. “Okay. What do you want me to do?”
“I 'ave ter kiss yaaahr bald 'ead,” Abbie said. “An' rub i' fer good luck.”
The man laughed good-naturedly, then leaned down, allowing Abbie access to his smooth scalp. She kissed it, quickly, then rubbed it a couple of times. She turned to McKenzie and swiped the back of her hand across her mouth.
“I can’t believe I just did that.” She tried to hold back a gig
gle as the man headed off with his bulldog.
Abbie typed “mission accepted and completed” into her phone and hit send. She waited a moment before her phone chirped. McKenzie’s beeped, then Rocky’s. The twins looked down at their phones as Mr. Sherman swiped his phone out of his back pocket. Juanita tapped hers, reading the message. Susan shrieked, holding her phone with both hands and acted like she was going to throw it to the ground.
“It’s not working again. It’s dead. It was fine a minute ago!” Susan raised an arm, spun around and then took a deep breath. Scratching her nose, she held up the phone and shut it off.
“Okay, okay,” McKenzie said. “We’ve got the next dare.”
Abbie looked at her phone.
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”Abbie handed her phone toward Susan. Susan took it and scanned the message as it chirped in her hands. The other phones beeped with a new incoming text message.
“Wait, there’s more,” Susan said, and read the new message.
McKenzie and Rocky both threw their heads back and roared with laughter. Abbie clenched her mouth tighter. “And I have to ask them for money using a British accent?”
McKenzie wagged a finger. The ends of the pink ribbon in her hair rippled in the wind. “If you want to get to your surprise guest, you do.”
Abbie sighed and pushed the plastic tiara further back on top her head. A small shiny diamond fell off and bounced on the grass. She stared at it a moment, remembering why she was doing all this. “It’s Clinton Reed, isn’t it? He drove up here from Pembroke Pines.”
“Uh, uh, uh! I’m not going to tell you.” McKenzie bent down as best she could in her tight Qipa. She picked up the diamond and tried to fit it back on Abbie’s tiara. As soon as she let go, it dropped off and hit the ground again. McKenzie ignored it and left it where it lay. “You’ll just have to wait to find out.”
With that, Abbie, McKenzie and Rocky, Susan and the twins, Juanita Evita Florendes Aye Reano O’Brien and Mr. Sherman headed toward the library. Abbie looked at the setting sun. The parked cars in front of them darkened in the fading light. To the east, the sky had already turned gray. Out the corner of her eye, Abbie caught two herons glide into the air. Somewhere way off in the distance, an ambulance siren wailed, growing louder then gradually faded.
The library waited.
Chapter 14
Leaving the apartment complex, the group walked in silence across the street to the campus. The sun was just a red sliver over the top of the university buildings, casting long shadows across the stadium parking lot. They passed a group of girls dressed in the University colors, and holding signs and megaphones. Several boys wearing letterman jackets and jerseys crossed the parking lot. As they walked past, McKenzie stopped Abbie and the others.
“What’s going on here?” She pointed toward the boys entering the stadium. “You’re supposed to be asking strangers for money.”
McKenzie grabbed Abbie’s arm and pulled her across the parking lot, toward the stadium entrance. A winding line stretched from the sidewalk to the ticket booth. McKenzie tugged Abbie’s arm, pointing toward will call. She waved and called out to the students standing in line.
“This is my friend Abbie Reed,” McKenzie yelled and pointed toward Abbie standing next to her. Several men and women, a few of them students, some parents, turned to see what all the commotion was about. McKenzie waved. “She needs to ask you something. Do you mind helping her out?”
Abbie adjusted the fake tiara on her head and looked away, embarrassed. Four boys left the line and walked up to the two girls. She tried to disguise her annoyance in front of them.
“Does anyone have a dollar or two?” Abbie bit her lower lip as she spoke.
“In British,” McKenzie said. Abbie took a breath, then asked it again.
“Can yew spare a dollar awer two?” She used her best British accent.
McKenzie adjusted the tiara on Abbie’s head. “This is Abbie Reed, my dearest friend in the world, and it’s her twenty-first birthday. We’re making her do birthday dares.” The boys nodded and congratulated Abbie, as McKenzie continued. “She has to perform twenty-one dares tonight and for this one, she has to collect twenty-one singles from twenty-one hot guys. Do you guys think you could help her?”
The tallest boy stepped forward. “We’ll make you a deal,” he said, looking back at his friends. “You give us that tiara and we’ll each give you a dollar.”
“Deal.” Abbie swiped the tiara from her head. She handed it to the tall boy. The others took out their wallets and handed Abbie a dollar each.
“No! No! No!” McKenzie shook her hands at Abbie. “That’s against the rules. The birthday girl has to wear the tiara all night long!”
She looked over at the group in the parking lot and Susan came running. She grabbed the tiara out of the surprised tall boy’s hands.
“I got this for you.” Susan placed the cheap tiara back on Abbie’s head. She gazed at the boys as McKenzie counted the money.
“Thank you for the green but we can’t trade the tiara.” McKenzie shrugged and gestured to them. “Just know that it’s going to a good cause.”
“It’s funding our bar tab,” Susan added. “And you boys are welcome to join us later tonight. We’ll buy you some drinks.”
She then grabbed Abbie’s arm and yanked her backwards toward the parking lot. McKenzie wiggled her fingers at the boys and thanked them again for the money as they walked back into the will call line.
“Theese i’ humeeeleee-ating.” Abbie swatted at the tiara as it drooped on her forehead. She turned back to Susan and McKenzie. Rocky and the others came up beside her in front of the crowded stadium entrance.
Susan laughed. “I don’t know if that’s a British accent or a speech impediment.”
“You’ve already collected five singles,” McKenzie said, motioning toward all the people surrounding them. “Just fourteen more to go and there’s like a billion people here.”
Abbie looked puzzled. “I think there’s something wrong with your math,” she said, watching the crowd move around them. Couples holding hands. Boys laughing and horse playing. Girls taking pictures with their phones. Other girls posing for photos with their friends. It was almost all too much.
She looked back at the busy parking lot. Among the crowds of students, the parked cars and the street lamps, she saw a familiar sweater vest. Sleeveless. Olive green. She hesitated, then thought, what the hell.
“Professor Cunningham! Professor Cunningham! Can yew spare a dollar awer two? It's me birthday,” she called out, running toward him with one hand firmly planted on her tiara. The Professor stopped and turned toward her.
“Miss Reed, I’m pressed for time.” He glared at her. “Why on everything holy are you wearing that ridiculous princess crown. And why are you talking like that?”
“It’s my twenty-first birthday.” She stopped in front of him, almost out of breath. The tiara slipped forward on her forehead. She pushed it back. “And my roommate and landlord and some other people over there are giving me twenty-one dares to do.”
She pointed across the street where McKenzie and Rocky, Susan and the twins, her cleaning lady and her landlord all stood. The Professor gazed at them, then looked puzzled.
“Why?”
“To celebrate my birthday, I guess.”
“Interesting.” The Professor shook his head. “I suppose I can spare a dollar.” He took out his wallet and handed her a crisp one dollar bill. She thanked him, taking the money.
“Wait,” she said. She felt her crown sliding. “Do you still talk to him? To Clinton Reed, I mean.”
“Excuse me?” He looked surprised by the question.
“I mean... do you know if he’s here, in Tampa?”
“Is he here?” he repeated. “Why would he be here?”
Abbie shrugged. “For my birthday. I was thinking he might surprise me.”
Professor Cunningham looked away for a second. “I haven’t spoken to your fa
ther in a very long time. Many years, in fact. I would have no way of knowing whether he was here or anywhere for that matter.”
“Okay,” Abbie said. “Sorry to bother you. Thank you again for the dollar.”
“Wait, Miss Reed,” he said quickly. “Do you honestly believe he would return here, to Tampa, after everything that happened?”
“No,” Abbie whispered. “No, you’re probably right.”
With that he wished her good evening. Abbie watched him walk to his car.
McKenzie, still standing at the stadium entrance, called Abbie’s name. Abbie changed directions, angling through the busy parking lot back toward the group. When she caught up to them, they headed for the library.
By the time they crossed the parking lot and walked toward the science building, Abbie had made substantial progress toward completing the dare. She’d asked over twenty five men for a dollar, tried to give away the tiara two more times, and actually collected a staggering fifteen single dollar bills. When the library was in sight, she paused at the steps that led up to the entrance doors.
“I’m short six dollars,” she said.
“She’s six dollars short, people,” Susan yelled and turned to the group. “She’s six dollars short! Find a guy—any guy—and hit ‘em up for a dollar. We need six of them.”
As the group scattered, McKenzie stomped her foot. “No, no, no,” she exclaimed. “Abbie has to do the dare. We can’t help her.”
On the library lawn, Rocky approached a girl on a bike and asked for a dollar. McKenzie called out to her fiancée, telling him to stop. Then Susan and the twins joined in. Within a few minutes, everyone was asking students, parents, teachers—anyone passing by—for a dollar. McKenzie darted between the group, scolding. “Abbie has to do this dare on her own. You can’t help her. Give that money back!”
Abbie paused when she saw a blue and white golf cart approach. It pulled up to the curb and a campus security guard stepped out. He approached the group as everyone paused and turned toward him.