by HJ Welch
Gabe shrugged. “I don’t know? Someone larger than life maybe?”
Mitch looked at him slyly. “He’s gay, you know.”
Gabe felt the tips of his ears heat up. “So?” he replied in a vain attempt to pretend like that information didn’t interest him. “I’m not looking for anything, and he’d be too young for me anyway.”
“Not that young,” muttered Mitch with a devilish glint in his eye.
7
Joey
It was surprising how easily Joey slipped back into old habits. It wasn’t that hard to find all manner of ways to keep himself out of the house. As long as he had his laptop charger with him, he could make a cup of coffee last all day with free refills at the diner downtown. The waitresses were mostly motherly sorts during the day. So far they hadn’t grilled him too badly about his return home, and when he caved and ordered food, he noticed the portions tended to be generous ones.
The library offered him the chance to listen to new music for free, which he appreciated more than the coffee. It lifted his spirits and kept him going through the rejection emails, although he had managed to get a few auditions. They hadn’t led to parts, but Joey wasn’t giving up and neither was his agent, Martha. He just had to get a bit of luck his way.
The library had the added advantage of an excellent view. Joey wasn’t sure what a gorgeous hunk like Gabe was doing working there, but it made being stuck in his hometown slightly more bearable, although he’d avoided talking to him again. Joey was embarrassed at what Gabe must think of him after his fall from grace. So it was better to admire from afar.
His mom’s money meant he could afford to travel into New York City when he had to. When auditions called him there, he spent the whole day either in cheap pizzerias or cafes, dreaming of the day he could call the city home.
Where possible, he left his house early and came back late at night. He felt bad for his mom, but it wasn’t worth the hostile silence he received from Patrick or Cathy when he ran into them, or the sneers his dad threw his way. The basement didn’t have a lock, so he kept his possessions in his one bag, taking everything with him wherever he went. God only knew what he’d do if his jeans ripped or his shoes broke. He had to make his mom’s money last as long as he could.
Worry ate away at him day and night. He was exhausted and on edge all the time, which probably came across in his auditions and job applications despite his best efforts. Desperation was an ugly thing.
So when he happened across some sort of town fair one Saturday, he couldn’t help but be drawn to the colorful stalls as a welcome respite from his continuous cycle of agonizing over work and finances.
The weather was cold but sunny as he headed into the park. He recognized a lot of faces as he looked around at the homemade pies and game stations. But with his earphones firmly jammed in his ears, he found most people simply nodded his way and didn’t try to talk to him. His novelty was thankfully waning, although there was generally one person a day who still wanted to stop him on the sidewalk and get his life’s story.
He didn’t know which was worse. The ones who looked at him with pity or the ones who seemed to hardly be able to contain their glee. Some talked about Blake and the others like they knew them, which irritated him. Especially those who thought because they watched Blake’s shows that they were his best friend. Those were generally the kind to rub his success in Joey’s face.
Joey didn’t begrudge Blake or the others. It wasn’t their fault he was the only one struggling after the band’s demise. But it was hard not to feel jealous, especially in his darkest moments.
So that was precisely why he was going to allow himself to enjoy some spontaneous fun at the fair. He didn’t have money to waste, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy looking at the handcrafted Halloween decorations for sale, or the delicious smells of pumpkin pie and mulled hard cider.
A girl about his age perked up when she saw him approaching. She was standing behind one of the game stalls. It looked like a simple task of throwing tennis balls through holes that had been cut into the plywood, each with numbers painted next to them to indicate scores. She caught Joey’s eye and broke into a huge smile. He felt bad walking away after that, so he pulled his earphones out and smiled back.
“Hey,” he said. No one else was at her stall, so he didn’t mind going over.
“Hi, Joey,” she said breathlessly. He was certain he didn’t know her, so he assumed she was a fan. It had been a while since someone had been this excited to see him and he felt a rush of gratitude towards the girl. “You want to play?”
“Sure,” he said warmly, despite the fact he was worried about wasting money. It was for local charity though, he’d noticed, so that made it better. “How much?”
“One dollar for a shot, or six shots for five dollars,” she said like she’d been practicing the line for days. “All proceeds go to the homeless shelter that opened last month.”
In his darkest moments, Joey had wondered if he’d end up on the street. That made him even more okay to hand over a five-dollar bill. He knew he was only one step away from needing help like that himself.
He drew a little crowd as he failed horribly to get the balls through the holes. The girl clapped and cheered in a very sweet way though, keeping him smiling, and even slipped him an extra free ball to try one last time. When he got it through the biggest hole, the half a dozen people around him gave a little cheer and clapped him on the back. There was a couple with little twin girls both dressed as Wonder Woman who insisted on hugging him once he was done. Also two women slightly older than him in geeky sweaters that simply congratulated him good-naturedly.
The girl behind the stall asked breathlessly for a selfie together before he left. All in all, Joey felt a bit better as he carried on walking between the novelties.
He was naturally drawn to the firefighters congregated around the firetruck parked on an opening on the grass. They were allowing excitable kids to sit in the cab and showing them the hose, and Joey smiled at the happy scene it made.
Shamefully, he hoped there would be one or two hot guys he might entertain himself looking at. Sure enough, he quickly spied a promising specimen, only to do a double take.
It was Gabe. From the library.
What the hell was he doing dressed up as a fireman? It made more sense, given his physique, but he’d said he worked at the library.
He realized he wasn’t the only one staring. Three women just in front of him were looking Gabe’s way as they sipped something from thermos flasks. Their lips were moving, so Joey subtly pulled his earbuds out of his ears again.
“-wear it more often,” said the blonde one.
The other two, a brunette and another blonde sporting fluffy earmuffs, nodded. “He should do a calendar,” said Earmuffs, sliding her gaze up and down Gabe’s form. There wasn’t much to be seen in his bulky firefighter’s gear, so they must have known what he looked like when he was wearing less.
Joey felt a bit uncomfortable seeing as Gabe was currently holding a little girl on his hip, showing her the lights at the front of the truck. He looked fatherly, not provocative, but the women were practically salivating over him.
Joey wondered how old Gabe was. Whether he had kids of his own. Was that, in fact, his daughter? Joey placed his age at mid to late twenties, so it was possible he was a dad. The thought that he was married made Joey slightly sad, which was ridiculous. It wasn’t like he’d have a chance with someone like that whether he was single or not. Or gay.
“He should work for the department full-time,” Brunette said. “He looks like a real firefighter. Not like old Bertie over there.”
They sniggered at an older guy who had a paunch and red nose. Joey glared at the women for their unkindness, even though they couldn’t see him. The guy Bertie was obviously fit enough to still be serving in a job that saved lives, for fuck’s sake. Who were they to judge him because he wasn’t attractive enough?
They had answered his q
uery regarding Gabe’s job though. It sounded like he just worked part-time with the fire department on top of his other job. What kind of guy did that sort of thing for fun?
Joey thought maybe he’d like to find out.
He was about to take his leave and put his music back on, but Earmuff’s next comment stopped him.
“It would be more appropriate if he stuck with the fires,” she said sagely. “Pompeii said he was teaching in her art club at the library. I just don’t think that’s suitable.”
“Is he not qualified?” asked Brunette.
Earmuffs shrugged. “No idea. But people like him shouldn’t be around children. It’s just confusing for them. They’re too young to have that thrust in their faces.” She waved at the display going on. “I wouldn’t let Pompeii go over there with him.”
Blondie raised her eyebrows. “Because he’s gay?”
Earmuffs nodded. “I think I’ll have a word with the head librarian. If they don’t do something about it, I’m pulling Pompeii from the club.”
“Isn’t that a bit extreme?” asked Brunette with a nervous giggle. “I mean, as long as he’s not talking to the kids about – you know – it doesn’t really harm anything, does it?”
Earmuffs turned enough so Joey could see her arch an eyebrow. “I know equal rights is all the rage,” she said snootily. “They have marriage now, which I guess is okay, but they shouldn’t just be allowed in jobs where they can influence our kids, Jenny. We have to protect our children.”
From what? Joey wanted to demand. His blood was boiling with rage. How dare these women stand there drooling over Gabe one second, then in the next breath question his right to be around children?
Jenny, the brunette, looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know,” she said, giggling nervously again. “He mows my mom’s lawn once a week, every week since her arthritis got bad, and old Mrs. Turnell’s. And he helped with that homeless shelter. Not sure how, but Lara said he was there two evenings a week, come hail or shine.”
“None of those activities involve children though, do they?” replied Earmuffs, an icy tone creeping into her words.
Blondie arched an eyebrow. “He drove the scout bus into NYC over the summer,” she said. Her tone suggested that she agreed with Earmuffs, and sure enough, the other woman nodded.
“Exactly. Why is it suddenly okay to allow a queer to do all these things?” She scoffed and sipped her thermos, leaving a bright red lipstick mark behind. “I don’t care what they do behind closed doors, just, keep it away from my kids. You know?”
The other two women nodded, before Brunette grinned, breaking the tension. “At least he’s hot though.”
“So hot,” the other two moaned in unison.
Joey had had enough. He shoved his earbuds back in and stormed off.
He couldn’t even be happy for ten minutes without some homophobic asshole ruining it.
8
Gabe
A day helping his buddies out at the fall festival in town was just what Gabe needed to lift his spirits and keep his mind distracted. He was obliged to do thirty hours a month with the fire department. But when he could count a whole afternoon having fun, it sort of felt like cheating.
He couldn’t be a firefighter twenty-four-seven. The shifts were too unsociable, and the pay wasn’t all that great. But he loved the job all the same. It was rare they got any serious blazes in his district, just the odd grill pan left unattended or vandals causing trouble at the schools. Every couple of months Gabe got called out to big traffic accidents though, giving him enough action to be glad he didn’t see more trauma on a regular basis.
Mostly, he loved volunteering because it gave him a chance to really throw himself into the heart of the community and do some good.
The regular guys were the real heroes though. Gabe was honored they’d let him and the other couple of part-timers come and join in an event that was meant to celebrate their hard work. But they insisted.
So he posed for photos and showed kids and adults around the truck proudly. He understood that all kinds of people found what they did interesting and exciting. It was a joy to share it.
What was even more of a joy though was when he looked up and recognized Joey Sullivan walking towards them, a few dozen feet away. Joey had been distracted by one of the girls manning a game booth. She appeared to be explaining how to play the game to him, holding up several tennis balls.
Joey was smiling easily. For a second, it took Gabe’s breath away. He’d looked so pensive when he’d seen him before. Laden with heavy burdens. To see him happy made Gabe finally connect him with the pictures of the popstar he’d found online.
He hadn’t meant to cave in and search for information on Joey. But after Mitch had told him he was gay, his curiosity had just got too much.
Sure enough, Joey was openly out. Gabe was still getting used to the idea that celebrities could do that and not have it damage their careers. So it made him sort of proud of the younger guy. Especially when he saw him and his bandmate give a speech from a few months ago at some awards show. His friend had come out at the ceremony and given an inspiring speech.
As much as the Blake guy’s words had moved Gabe, he had replayed the video clip a few times just to watch Joey watching his friend. It had been a very pure, beautiful moment, seeing the pride evident in his eyes. Gabe almost felt bad that it was so public. But then, that was the point. To reach out to other people that were LGBT.
So he didn’t need any more convincing about the newcomer’s sexuality. But until now, Gabe hadn’t been able to reconcile Joey’s public persona with the quiet one he had met himself.
Nothing would have made him happier than to stand and watch Joey being excitable. He had to admit to himself that, even if it was just to do with Gabe’s rebound, he was starting to become attracted to Joey. It was probably just a stupid crush. But after all his heartache, Gabe was okay with entertaining one or two idle thoughts about a gorgeous guy.
He was soon distracted by a small girl with bright red pigtails who wanted to understand how the lights and sirens worked. So with her folks’ permission, Gabe hoisted her up on his hip and talked her through the systems. She asked surprisingly technical questions for a six-year-old.
“First it was cars, then it was trains,” her dad said with a chuckle when Gabe praised her knowledge. “Now everything is firefighters. And Frozen,” he added with a weariness that spoke volumes.
Gabe was happy to help the little girl into the cab with one of his colleagues, who took over explaining what everything did. That meant Gabe turned around just in time to see Joey storming past the truck and away from the fair.
Gabe wasn’t necessarily thinking clearly as he hopped down. “Joey!” he called out.
He didn’t stop, but he looked like he had earbuds in, so Gabe jogged the few feet between them and touched his shoulder.
Joey wheeled around, a look of alarm on his face. But he did pull his earphone out from one ear.
“Whoa, sorry,” said Gabe, throwing his hands up. Joey raised an eyebrow and eased the other earphone free. He didn’t run away at least. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Joey shrugged. “That’s okay.” They looked at each other for a moment. “So,” Joey carried on while Gabe struggled with what to say. “You’re a firefighter?”
Gabe laughed and rubbed his hand through his hair. “Yeah, sometimes. Looked like you were having fun earlier. It’s, uh, nice to see you again.”
Joey chewed on his lower lip. “You saw me.”
It was Gabe’s turn to shrug. He didn’t want to make it seem like it was a big deal. “I just happened to look over. Look, I’m sorry if I chased you out of the library the other day. Next time you come in you can say hi. I’m not that scary.”
“I’m not-” Joey began. Then stopped himself. “You didn’t chase me out. I’m just busy.”
“Oh,” said Gabe. “Sure, of course you are.” He nodded, hoping that didn’t come across as sarcas
tic in any way.
“Does the library have shitty pay?”
Gabe blinked in confusion. “Uh, no, not really,” he said.
Joey shifted on his feet and looked embarrassed. He was clinging to the backpack over his shoulder like a lifeline. “I just wondered why you didn’t stick with putting out fires.”
“Oh,” said Gabe with a relieved laugh. “Oh, I do all kinds of things. I like being around people.” Joey frowned like that was a strange idea. He probably missed the hustle and bustle of his life from before. Wherever he lived. Did popstars settle down? Have one place they came back to? “I could introduce you to some of the folks around if you’re still finding your feet?” Gabe offered.
That was probably stupid. Joey didn’t need help from some small-town hick like him to make friends.
Sure enough, Joey wrinkled up his nose. “I don’t really think I’ve got a lot in common with the people around here,” he said. Gabe thought that was pretty snobby. “But, thank you. I appreciate it.” Well, at least he wasn’t totally rude.
“Actually,” said Gabe, not wanting to let Joey get away with insulting his town. Sure, Greenwich wasn’t Paris or Tokyo, but it was his home, and he thought it was pretty great. “There’s a small LGBT community if you’d be interested. Some of us got together and helped set up this homeless shelter over the summer. It was pretty awesome.”
“You just do everything around here, don’t you?” said Joey, shaking his head.
Gabe wasn’t fazed though. “Like I said, I like people.”
Joey didn’t have much of a reaction to Gabe coming out. A lot of people generally had something to say about that. Maybe Joey already knew?
He shook his head again. “You don’t owe these people anything, you know?”
Gabe frowned. “The homeless?” He was disappointed in Joey at that. “Someone has to help them. You know around fifty percent of kids on the street are LGBT?”