by HJ Welch
Trent arched an eyebrow. “I don’t have a lot of experience,” he said, lifting the covers and peering down, “but it is a pretty great cock.”
Ashby’s peels of laugher echoed around the beige hotel room, filling it with life. “Why thank you,” he said, pretending to swish his hair back.
Trent considered him. It didn’t seem unusual to him that Ashby ‘blended gender styles’ like he said. It seemed natural. Some guys wore makeup and it looked uncomfortable. Hell, Trent wore makeup on set all day and the stuff still got in his eyes and bothered him. But Ashby just made it seem effortless.
“What?” Ashby asked. Before Trent could answer, he leaned forward and kissed the tip of Trent’s nose, making him laugh. Ashby seemed so much happier. It made Trent’s chest burst with joy.
“Did you know my mom was Arapaho?” Trent said. At Ashby’s blank face, he remembered he was English and might not know the term. “Native American,” Trent supplied. Sure enough, Ashby made an ‘ohh’ sound and nodded. “We didn’t always talk much about it. But she said something cool once that I committed to memory for Joey.” Trent frowned and racked his brains for the right pronunciation. “Her people had – or have – a third gender. They call them haxu’xan. They’re guys who live as women and they marry guys and are respected by the tribe.”
Ashby blinked at him. “Seriously?” he said. Trent couldn’t blame him. He knew how much queer people had been persecuted throughout history. Especially trans people.
“I know it’s not exactly like you,” Trent said. “But it’s kind of cool, I think.”
Ashby nodded. “Very,” he said shyly. “Thank you.”
Trent looked around at all the clothes still scattered around the room from where Ashby had obviously emptied out his closet. Fuck, Trent was so glad he caught him before he made any serious plans to leave. It got him thinking though.
“Did you bring any of your more nonbinary-”
“Enby,” Ashby said. Trent frowned. “You know,” Ashby explained, “like as in the letters N-B.”
“Enby,” said Trent, nodding. “It’s cute.”
Ashby gasped in delight. “I know, right?”
Trent chuckled. “Okay, so. Did you bring any of your enby clothes with you?”
Ashby blinked and looked around the carnage. “Well, um, yes,” he said. “It’s just, well…I don’t tend to wear them places I don’t know. Especially if I’m by myself.”
He tried to keep his voice light, but there was a flicker of sadness in his eyes. Trent could only imagine the hurt he’d experienced while looking different. Even violence. Trent would never let anybody touch Ashby while they were together. He knew that for certain.
He was feeling so freed after their talk, though. Like an enormous burden had been lifted. Or better, like he’d had a box full of puzzle pieces and now they had all slotted together the way they were meant to.
He smiled at Ashby and ran his hand up and down his arm. He could feel his desire flickering to life again. “Would you, uh, put something on for me?” he asked. “Something you feel pretty in?”
Ashby looked at him for a moment, his expression slowly turning into complete joy. “Um, okay,” he said, nodding as he slipped out of the bed. “Are you sure?”
Trent grinned. “Absolutely,” he said.
Ashby licked his lips, considering everything that was thrown about the room. Carefully, he began to pick up items one by one, seemingly unaffected that Trent was watching him walk about naked.
“I’ll be right back,” he said once he had everything he apparently wanted, then dashed into the bathroom.
Trent laid back in the bed and touched his fingers to the ‘Bulletproof’ insignia over his heart. Had he really been that hellbent on keeping people away from him? Not the boys from the band. He’d always had love for them. But Trent tried to think of a time he had ever let another friend get particularly close to him, let alone a girlfriend. He’d always kept everyone at arm’s length.
Even his own parents. It had felt good to talk about his mom. He hadn’t told Ashby the whole truth, how she wasn’t here anymore. But they could get to that.
Trent felt he could talk to Ashby about anything. That he would be patient and help Trent find the words. Together, they could tackle anything.
A knock at the door made him jump. “Housekeeping!”
“Come back later,” Trent called back. The door was in direct line of sight of the bed.
The voice cackled through the wood. “Oh, nice try with that accent, Ashby.”
Before Trent could think of what to say, the door swung open to reveal one of the women from the housekeeping staff, judging by her uniform. She was middle-aged with curly brown hair and colorful horn-rimmed glasses. Or so Trent saw before he gasped and yanked the covers over his head.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” the woman cried in delight. “Ashby Wilcott, you get out here this instant!”
“Maeve!” Ashby shrieked. Trent peeked out from under the covers to his left, just enough to see a dressed Ashby burst out of the bathroom. “What are you doing? Go on, shoo!”
Maeve, the housekeeper, cackled some more. “Oh, sweetie, don’t you look pretty? Okay, all right, I’m going. Bye TJ!” she cooed. Trent heard the door close.
After a few seconds, Trent dared to look above the covers. Ashby had his hands in his hair, staring in mortification at the closed door. “She seemed friendly,” Trent commented. There was no sense getting upset. He wasn’t going to be ashamed about Ashby, so why not come out of the closet right now?
Ashby turned to him. Trent felt the humor drop from his face as he took in Ashby’s outfit.
It was simple. The same stonewashed skinny jeans he’d been wearing yesterday, but now matched with a pair of black boots with a small heel that disappeared under the denim. The top was a Chinese-looking black tunic, silky, with a gold and jade pattern of hummingbirds and flowers embroidered on it.
The ensemble was elegant, though neither wholly feminine nor masculine. Even without makeup and last night’s bed hair, Ashby looked totally stunning.
“Fuck me,” Trent murmured in surprise.
It looked like Ashby took a moment to register the lust in Trent’s eyes. He spun and smiled. “I’d rather you fucked me,” he said with a wink.
Trent crooked his finger, beckoning Ashby to him.
“That can be arranged, gorgeous,” he said.
25
Ashby
Ashby was doing his best not to get swept up in the romance and intoxication of such incredible and regular fucking. But it was difficult. Now Trent had been given ‘permission’ (as Ashby saw it) to crush on Ashby, he was having the time of his life. He fancied Ashby no matter what he was wearing. But even when they were lying around naked, he seemed captivated by Ashby’s body, always running his hands over it and kissing every inch.
So it wasn’t just the makeup or pretty clothes that Trent liked. It was everything about Ashby. It eased the worry that Trent was confusing him for a girl, although since their chat that hadn’t really been a concern.
What was an issue was their very separate lives. Ashby had made a home for himself in London. Not that he had a job, but he had friends and a community there. Trent’s home was LA and his movie career sent him all over the globe while he was working. But he was already making noises about ‘making it work.’ After all, they both had money, they could travel. But could a relationship really work with so many thousands of miles between them?
Was this even a relationship? Sure, the sexual chemistry was off the charts. As Ashby sat in the bar and stirred sugar into his tea, he looked out the window at the outdoor pool, steaming like usual as the cold air hit the warm water. Late last night, after a couple of glasses of wine, he had strongly encouraged Trent to put a robe on with him and run out naked to the pool after hours when the lights were off. They had frotted and jerked each other off and kissed until they’d come under the stars in the dead of night.
A
shby shifted in his seat and glanced around. He had a table to himself and there weren’t that many people around. Still, he would have been mortified if the nice grandparents with their grandkid in the big glasses caught him getting hot and bothered in the middle of the day. But bloody hell, just thinking about Trent’s muscular body made Ashby want to climb him like a tree. Again.
A quiet yowl by his feet made him look down. He was surprised to see Merlin the St. Bernard puppy lying down by his shoes. Ashby looked up in surprise. But when he caught eyes with Darnell at the bar, he gave Ashby a thumbs-up. Then Darnell turned to the entrance of the bar where Kadie from reception was hovering. She followed Darnell’s line of sight to see where Merlin was, pointed toward the dog, then called something like ‘he’s here’ down the corridor. Ashby realized she was probably telling Trent’s dad where his dog was and that everything was okay.
Ashby figured Mr. Charles didn’t want him back for the moment, so he bent down and scratched the dog behind his ears. “Good boy,” he murmured. He did love this little fellow a lot. He was so sweet, if not at times a little too exuberant. Mr. Charles was probably glad to get a break from him for a while, unfortunately.
Trent kept skirting around the issue of his dad. Ashby knew things weren’t right between them, but he wasn’t sure what the exact issue was. He had pieced together himself that Trent had got Merlin as a present for his dad and it possibly hadn’t gone down as well as he had hoped.
Ashby felt sad he might not be around to see them patch things up. It was in his nature to want everybody to get along and help achieve that in any way possible. Perhaps he could extend his stay here?
But where would it end if he did that? He and Trent couldn’t stay on holiday indefinitely. They had to go back to the real world at some point. Would their budding relationship survive when they did?
“Oh my gawd,” a voice squeaked.
It pulled Ashby from his reverie and his gaze away from the swimming pool beyond the window. He turned to see a slim guy in glasses with thick black rims and a navy baseball cap standing by his table. His scraggly goatee was in need of a proper trim, but the way he was looking down in delight at Merlin made Ashby think kinder of him.
“Is that your dog?” the guy asked. He looked up at Ashby and placed his hand on his chest. Gay, Ashby immediately identified. The guy gasped and smiled. “Do you mind if I pet him? I just love puppies so much.”
“Sure,” said Ashby. “He’s not my dog, sadly. He belongs to someone on the staff, but he seems to like me.”
Mr. Goatee looked up at him from where he was crouched with Merlin on the floor. For once, Merlin didn’t seem too interested to say hello.
“Oh,” Mr. Goatee said. “Wow, I love your accent. You from England? You sound like Harry Potter.”
“I’m a Hufflepuff,” Ashby said like he did whenever people mentioned the famous book series. As usual, it created an immediate bond with whoever he was talking to.
“No way, me too,” Mr. Goatee said, jumping back to his feet. He held out his hand toward Ashby. “Dez. Nice to meet you.”
“Ashby,” he replied.
“Hey, you want some company?” Dez asked. He gestured toward Ashby’s eReader. He had been so lost in his thoughts he’d not even opened up a book.
“Sure,” he said automatically. Then he realized how that might look. Gordon would flip his fucking lid if he caught Ashby talking with another guy without him. Trent wasn’t like that, but Ashby wanted his cards on the table from the start. “I, um, have a boyfriend,” he said. He and Trent hadn’t specified relationship labels yet, but it was the easiest way to say he was with someone and not looking.
Dez waved a hand at him. “Oh, no, me too,” he said with a scoff. “But he’s not here yet and I get bored so quickly. If I buy you a drink would you tell me about England for a while?”
Ashby nodded as Darnell came over to them. Seeing as it was midafternoon, the bar wasn’t that busy, so he could serve them himself. Trent was working out for a couple of hours, then had a call scheduled with his manager, so Ashby had given him some space for the day.
“Can I get you guys something?” Darnell asked as Dez slipped into the seat opposite Ashby. Darnell glanced about to check Bob wasn’t around, then winked at Ashby. “I’ve been working on my cocktails,” he said excitedly.
“Ohh,” Ashby said with genuine enthusiasm. “Well done, you. I’m so happy to hear that! Surprise me. I’ll take something fruity.”
“Me too,” said Dez, smiling sweetly. They watched Darnell make his way back to the bar and begin flipping bottles again, much to the delight of the three middle-aged women drinking cosmos at the counter. “So,” said Dez, swinging his feet under the table. “You here with your boyfriend, huh?”
Ashby bit his lip. His heart fluttered whenever he thought of Trent, but he had hardly gotten to speak about him to anybody apart from Maeve yet (who had demanded to hear everything) so he couldn’t help but be enthusiastic.
“We met here, actually,” he said. “So, it’s new and exciting. But…he’s special. I think it could be going somewhere.” He tried not to blush, but he couldn’t help but be happy. “What about you and your boyfriend?”
“Oh,” Dez said dismissively. “High school sweethearts. Not new or that exciting, but, you know, true love, yada yada.” He smiled, then leaned back as Darnell came back with their drinks. “Oh, yummy!”
Ashby felt a little sorry for Dez and his lackluster interest in his boyfriend, but they moved on to talking about London and the cool places to go. Dez had never been but always wanted to visit. Ashby was more than happy to talk about Soho, Carnaby Street, Shoreditch and the best Indian restaurants on Brick Lane. “Honestly, you’ve never had curry until you go there,” he said with a giggle. The drinks were kind of strong on an empty stomach, but Dez was already waving at Darnell to get two more. They were delicious.
Dez was so impressed when Ashby talked about the kind of parties he usually went to. He wondered if that didn’t make Dez a little shallow for being impressed because Ashby brushed shoulders with C-list celebrities. But it was nice to have someone think what he did was cool for a change. And Dez seemed sweet and harmless.
“So, this is your ex Gordon, huh?” Dez asked when they were on their third cocktail.
He was thumbing through Ashby’s Instagram. A lot of people followed him, he was ashamed to admit. Just because he was pretty and went to places with people who were vaguely famous. Ashby didn’t like seeing Gordon’s face again, but he wasn’t going to delete the photos from his feed. He needed to remember not to let himself get in that kind of relationship again.
“Or does he know he’s an ex yet?” Dez asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Urgh, no, he’s gone, out, bleurgh,” Ashby said pulling a face. “Trent is a million times better than him.”
Dez sighed, then looked at the clock on his phone. “Oh, shit! Is that the time? Oh, sweetie, I have to go! I’m so sorry. But I’ll message you on Insta, okay?” He made noisy air kisses and hopped down from his seat. “See you soon, okay?”
Ashby barely had time to wave goodbye before Dez had run out of the bar. Ashby frowned and looked down at Merlin. “Weird,” he said to the puppy, who grumbled and rolled onto his side to continue sleeping.
Ashby didn’t really mind, though. He had another drink to keep him company and he skimmed through his various social media accounts, catching up with people. Darnell was kind enough to bring him some water and a bowl of pretzels, so he sobered up a little bit.
Which was a good thing, considering a flustered-looking Skye from the beauty spa rushed in about an hour later. She spied Ashby and made a beeline for him. “Oh, hon,” she said breathlessly. “I’m so glad I’ve found you. Have you seen the news?”
Ashby’s stomach dropped. “No?” he said cautiously. “Why?” His mind instantly thought something bad might have happened back in London.
Skye pulled her phone out of her tightly fitting uniform and
brought up a screen. “I have certain words flagged, so they ping up on my newsfeed when there’s a story, you know?” Ashby did, so he nodded. “Well…uh…”
She showed Ashby a story from a Hollywood blog site, one of those celebrity gossip ones.
His heart dropped through his boots.
“Can you…” he stammered, getting to his feet. He gestured between Merlin and Darnell, who was looking at him with concern as he almost tripped getting out of the chair. “Merlin needs to, I – oh my god. I have to find Trent. I’m sorry. Darnell, can you take Merlin?”
Ashby didn’t wait for an answer. His eyes were blurred with tears as he fumbled his way out of the bar, trying to get his own phone out of his jeans. He should have known this was all too good to be true.
He had to find Trent now.
26
Trent
As much Trent hadn’t wanted to let Ashby out of his sight, after two days near constant fucking and lazing about in his cabin, they had both agreed a few hours apart would be a good thing. Ashby had gone back to his own room to freshen up and Trent had taken the time to do a much-needed work out.
Barry had threatened to check in with him later. He probably had news for him about the next Fixer contract. Trent wasn’t ready to go back to the real world just yet. But he would be willing to pop his head back in for half an hour knowing that Ashby was waiting for him to have dinner together later at the resort.
Although they had shared dinner together before, this would be their first time out in public as a real couple. They hadn’t used the word ‘boyfriends’ yet, but Trent felt they were going that way. At least he hoped so. A small, mostly empty restaurant would be the perfect place to test how it felt to be seen together.
Mostly, though, Trent just felt excited. He’d asked Ashby to wear whatever he felt comfortable in and he hoped he might experiment a little and wear something just a bit flamboyant. Trent wanted to prove he could be at ease around him, however he wanted to present himself.