by HJ Welch
Did she really care about Reyse?
He hoped so.
“Uh, yeah,” Reyse said, nodding, going for his most sincere expression. “There’s been a lot about me in the press lately, and not much of it about my music, sadly.”
There was a slight reaction from the audience, like a soft “ahh.” Reyse gave them a small smile and looked back at Kimmy. The studio lights were pretty bright in his eyes and he felt hotter than usual. He reached out for his Kimmy Kovac Show mug and swallowed a mouthful of the honey and lemon tea he’d asked for.
“Some people do like to gossip,” Kimmy said with sympathy, before grinning impishly at the audience. “Don’t they, folks?” That got a little bit of laughter. “But seriously, it’s put you in kind of a tight spot, hasn’t it, Reyse? People out there are saying you’ve been cheating on the lovely Bella Dalton, and that’s not true, is it?”
“Absolutely not,” Reyse said with complete honesty. He’d never cheated on Bella because they’d never for one moment really been together. “Bella is my girl, my rock. I’d be lost without her.”
A louder chorus of “aww” went around the studio.
Kimmy laced her fingers together and pressed them to her chin for just a second, before dropping her hands to the sides of her armchair again. “But that’s not all, is it? Because these folks are saying you cheated on Bella with a man. Now, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but you wanted to come and talk with me about this today, didn’t you?”
She’d taken her glasses off for filming and Reyse looked into her blue eyes. She was smiling, but he got the feeling there was a lot more going on behind those eyes.
“Yes,” Reyse said carefully. “I wanted to make sure people understand how I felt in my own words. Because in no way do I think being gay or bi is a bad thing.”
Kimmy offered her palm to him and raised her eyebrows. “All your bandmates, the guys from Below Zero. They’re all very happily married to other guys, aren’t they?”
“Well,” Reyse said with a twitch of his lips before he could stop himself. “Ashby is nonbinary. But yes. All the guys from the band are gay and bi, and I love them deeply.”
He wasn’t going to get into the definition of being pan versus being bi live on air. He just hoped Raiden and TJ wouldn’t mind.
“Exactly, exactly,” Kimmy said, bobbing her head. “But that’s just not you, right? The person taking these photos got it wrong.”
Give ‘em hell.
Reyse’s smile became fixed. “Yeah, yeah,” he croaked out, still smiling as he reached for more tea. Damn it. He needed to do better! His career depended on telling this lie. “I went home to spend some time with my family. My dad’s recovering from a stroke. I don’t really get many days off, so while my mom was at the hospital, I went goofing off on the beach with a buddy of mine.” Reyse determinedly swallowed the lump before it even rose in his throat. “He’s a great guy. We just got a little drunk and the bloggers made up their story from there.”
There was a motion from behind the camera. Reyse tried not to let his eyes dart too obviously, but he glanced enough to realize Kevin had thrown his hands up in the air and was all but snarling at him. He’d ripped his sunglasses from his face, so Reyse could see he was furious.
What the hell?
Kimmy nodded and tilted her head. “This is the same guy that saved your cell phone from getting snatched a while back, right?” she said. To Reyse’s horror, pictures from that day were suddenly on the screens above them for the audience – for America – for the world – to see.
In all his pining for Corey, Reyse had never once thought to look up those images. How stupid was he? Now there they were. The research team had probably managed to pick the best one they could, but Corey’s face was mostly hidden by his baseball cap. Reyse could still see he was looking up at Reyse with a smile. Reyse was reaching down, offering to help him up.
Reyse didn’t get long to enjoy the surprise glimpse of Corey. Kevin was going out of his mind, not verbally, but physically. He was drawing stares from members of the audience now as he hopped about, balling up his fists and mouthing “NO!” at Reyse. It looked like he was going to snap his sunglasses, he was clenching his fists so hard.
“Uh, yeah,” Reyse said. Had they turned the lights up? Why was his tea all gone? “I was lucky he was there that day.”
Kimmy bit her lip. Her eyes were just fractionally too wide as she tilted her head and pressed her hands together. “But you’re not friends anymore, right? Because this guy got all whack-a-do on you. That’s why you tried to let him down gently, but then…”
“The restraining order…” Reyse said faintly.
No wonder Kevin was losing his shit.
Reyse had just completely undone all his PR work by telling the wrong lie.
Cold panic washed over Reyse. “I…” he stammered. He blinked sweat away from his eyes and tried to keep his focus. “It’s complicated,” he said. His voice sounded strangled to his own ears.
“Is it?” Kimmy asked. She leaned forward in her seat, like she genuinely wanted him to make it all okay.
Give ‘em hell.
Reyse had never once in his entire life suffered from stage fright. He’d been nervous before performing and he’d fucked up lyrics and dance moves and said dumb things in interviews. But he’d never frozen in front of an audience before.
Until now.
He looked between Kimmy’s concerned face and Kevin, who was standing with his palms pressed to his cheeks like the Scream painting, and the audience who were staring at Reyse, holding their collective breaths. Even the crew seemed to be waiting for a pin to drop.
There were so many cameras aimed at his face. The lights were dazzling and the AC buzzing even though Reyse was hot as hell. His whole body prickled with goose bumps under his clothes as he turned his gaze to the photo still being shown, larger than life, above their heads.
It was Corey. His Corey.
His face grimaced before he even knew what he was doing, hot tears pooling in his eyes. Blood rushed through his ears. Dizziness overwhelmed him so much he felt like he was going to pass out.
“I’m gay,” he whispered.
The whole studio went nuts. People shrieked and gasped, jumping to their feet. Cameras zoomed from left to right, one rolling right up close to him and Kimmy. Kevin bellowed a string of profanities that had security grabbing him around the waist and hauling him out within seconds. Kimmy herself didn’t move much, but her eyes went like saucers.
“Sweetie, what was that?” she asked, leaning forward.
“I – I’m gay,” Reyse said tearfully, unable to look away from the photo. “I was never dating Bella. She’s my friend. But I was – I – he…”
“This guy here?” Kimmy asked. “Are you dating him?”
Reyse covered his mouth with his hands. It was like he’d dropped under the ocean and his heart was going at a million miles an hour. He could hear Kevin still yelling, trying to halt the interview, trying to make Reyse stop talking.
“I can’t,” Reyse cried, his voice gaining pitch. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t! I can’t lie or hide! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to let you all down, but I’ve been forced in the closet for my whole life and now I’ve lost him and I just – I can’t!”
He stumbled up from the couch, trying to pull at his body mic. He needed to get out, get away.
“Wait, Reyse!” Kimmy said.
She held her hands out and stood with him, shouting over the din of the audience. Reyse could tell people were moving everywhere, but he didn’t know where he should go. He had to get out.
“Reyse, who kept you in the closet? Your label, Sun City?” For just a second, America’s most-beloved lesbian looked absolutely livid. “Did they tell you you weren’t allowed to be out?”
Reyse gave up on the mic, his hands falling numbly to his sides. He turned and looked at Kimmy. “What have I done?”
Kimmy blinked in surprise. “What hav
e you done? What have they done?” she asked, leaning back and throwing out her hands. “Reyse, this isn’t okay. What happened to this guy? Is he okay?”
“I don’t know,” Reyse said thickly, looking up at Corey’s slightly blurred image where they’d zoomed in on as much of his face as they could see. It wasn’t enough to identify him behind the cap, but Reyse recognized every millimeter of that beautiful smile. “I hope I’m not too late, though.”
“Right, that is IT!” Kevin screamed. He stormed in front of the cameras with a couple of big guys standing up to Kimmy’s security. Reyse had no idea where they had materialized from. He didn’t care.
It was over.
His career, his life, everything he had worked for. It was about to go down the drain. Kimmy looked stunned as her people stood protectively by her and Kevin’s goons put their hands on Reyse to escort him from the set.
Reyse twisted in their grip, his eyes never leaving the image of Corey until he’d been dragged from the studio, Kevin’s voice screaming in his ear.
He wasn’t sure what he’d just done.
Had it been worth it?
He guessed he would find out.
24
Corey
Corey didn’t really want a coffee. He was just nervous and for some reason he had come to the conclusion that a coffee would help him. He’d knocked into a woman on his way into the shop, babbling an apology to her that she didn’t even hear thanks to her headphones over her ears. He forgot how to spell his name when the server asked him so she could write it on the cup. Then when the guy handed him the finished drink, Corey almost wished him happy birthday.
All in all, he was kind of a wreck.
He wasn’t really sure why. He’d had his interview at Rainbow Roofs last week and it had been fine. Great, even. It had just been an informal chat between Corey and a couple of the management people, then they’d offered him the job on the spot. He’d looked over the offer and was more than happy with the pay and all the surprisingly generous health benefits. As he’d been there the week before he knew where the office was and he wasn’t late.
Still, he was all over the place for his first day, his heart banging like a drum in his chest. He tried telling himself it was going to be awesome. He’d gotten a great vibe from the place, after all. But there was a nasty voice in the back of his head that kept suggesting it was all a big mistake. That they didn’t mean it. He was going to show up and they were all going to laugh at him because it was all just a big joke.
Corey poured another sugar in his coffee and tried to convince himself that was complete nonsense. But he couldn’t seem to quite make himself believe it.
It was hard when he wasn’t even sure how offices worked. Corey only had TV and movies as references. Did they actually have a water cooler? How friendly was he supposed to be? What did he do if he needed the bathroom?
Corey wasn’t the kind of person people wanted around. He had no special skills. And yet these guys had said they’d liked his attitude and saw potential in him. So here he was, about to start his first nine-to-five job.
Shit – should he have bought a box of donuts? What was the protocol here? Was that a new guy thing to do? At Speedy Pete’s you just showed up and got a pizza shoved into your hands to deliver. There was no team building or getting to know anyone. How did Corey know if he should have brought donuts or candy or goddamned flowers with him?
They should have hired someone who knew all this stuff already. But they hadn’t. They’d hired Corey, and he was out of time.
At nine o’clock on the dot, he and the rest of his coffee jogged up the couple of steps to the multistoried glass-fronted building, finding the button marked ‘RRT’ and buzzed it, his heart in his mouth. What if they realized he was a dud and kicked him out? What if being bi wasn’t gay enough and they kicked him out? What if-
“Come in!” the cheerful southern voice called over the intercom. The door clicked and opened when Corey pressed his hand to it. All right. There was no going back now.
He jogged up a couple of stories and headed toward the door to the left that had the Rainbow Roofs logo emblazoned on it. Before he could worry about knocking or awkwardly making his way inside, it jerked inward, revealing a young blonde woman with green tips in her braided pigtails, black glasses, overalls and an enormous smile.
“Corey!” she cried. “I’m Ellie Mae. We didn’t meet last week but we’re meeting now!” She laughed and stuck out her hand. Once Corey shook it, she bounced back and ushered him into the open-plan office. “Well, come on in. I’m so glad we were able to find a new guy so fast. Orchid said she didn’t even get a chance to advertise for anyone yet you popped up like a prayer on Sunday. It’s like the universe brought you to us!”
She scrunched up her button nose and placed her hand on the small of Corey’s back to lead him toward the kitchenette. She was almost a foot shorter than him, but her enthusiasm made her seem much bigger.
“Did you find the place okay? Can I get you a coffee? Oh, no, you already have one. How about a slice of pizza?”
“Pizza?” Corey blurted.
Ellie Mae giggled. “I know right? For breakfast? Hamish always gets a couple for us on a Wednesday morning, on account of us generally doing karaoke on a Tuesday night and being a little fragile after. He wants to make us all fat.” She waved to the director Corey had met last week. “Lurve you, Hamish!” she cried in a singsong voice across the office.
Corey’s gut twisted at seeing the pizza boxes. It was so dumb, but it just made him think of Reyse now. His coffee churned in his stomach and he dropped the rest of the cup into the trash. He wished he had brought that box of doughnuts now.
Hamish waved back to Ellie Mae, then spotted Corey. “Oh, hey,” he said and began making his way over. Several other people looked Corey’s way as well. Some of them he recognized, others he didn’t, but they all smiled and looked generally welcoming. The knot in Corey’s chest eased a little. Maybe he was going to be okay.
There were probably about fifteen people sitting at various desks with room for half a dozen more. Everyone was partitioned into cubicles short enough that everyone could still see over the top when they were sitting down. The foot-high borders gave people places to stick knick-knacks with colorful pushpins. It immediately made the room feel more homely.
At the end of the room was a large meeting space with a long table, sectioned off from the rest of the office with a wall half made of brick, the top half glass. Next to that were three bathrooms. One was marked ‘differently abled’ and all three were gender neutral.
A small detail, but it immediately put Corey at ease. This was an inclusive place, through and through.
Hamish was a slim, petite guy, although he was a wiry kind of small with defined biceps peeking out from his baggy T-shirt. He also wore glasses, frameless ones unlike Ellie Mae, and had a nose ring and bright smile. He was probably late thirties, but he had a youthful energy about him that could have easily made him in his twenties if it weren’t for the slight laughter lines and confidence with which he carried himself.
He approached Corey with his arm outstretched and pumped Corey’s hand twice. “So nice to see you again, dude,” he said. He was one of those true Californians who called everything and everyone ‘dude’ – from his friends to his houseplant to his stapler. “I see you survived an Ellie Mae attack.”
“Oh, hush, you,” she said. She slipped her hands into her enormous overalls pouch and rocked back and forth. “I’m a darlin’.”
Hamish snorted. “We keep trying to ship her back to Georgia, but it isn’t working.”
“Try harder,” Ellie Mae sang, skipping off into the belly of the office.
Corey noticed several people were half watching them with amusement, as if they were used to little shows being put on by certain members of staff. It made feel Corey feel even more at ease.
“Now, don’t worry,” Hamish said. He poured a coffee for himself from the percolator. “We
’ll break you in gently.”
“Speak for yourself,” a voice piped up. A redheaded guy waggled his eyebrows at Corey.
Hamish rolled his eyes and steered Corey into the bullpen. “You can definitely ignore Lucas. He’s from Canada.”
“Oi!” Lucas cried, throwing a balled-up piece of paper Hamish’s way. Hamish deftly dodged it.
“Pick that up, Lucas,” he said cheerfully without looking over his shoulder. Several people chuckled while Lucas huffed and trudged his way over to fetch up the paper ball.
“So, you guys are, like, from all over the place?” Corey said, looking around.
Then he froze.
Now he could see more people’s cubicles, he realized over half of them had almost identical pictures and articles printed out and pinned to their walls.
They all featured Reyse Hickson.
A cold sweat sprung over Corey’s body. Was this some sort of sick fucking joke? Did they know?
“You guys, uh, like Below Zero a whole lot, huh?” he said, trying to sound casual. But his alarm was probably showing on his face judging from the way Hamish looked at him in concern.
Hamish raised his eyebrows, then looked around himself. “Oh,” he said as he realized, smiling broadly. “No, we’re just fucking stoked, dude. I mean, what a legend, right?”
“Sure,” Corey said reluctantly. It seemed odd they would all have very similar pictures up of him, not a variety. Reyse looked to be sitting with Kimmy Kovac on her show. It hurt to see Reyse like it always did, but to have him plastered everywhere on Corey’s first day at work seemed a bit cruel of the universe.
“Y’all have seen the interview, right?” Ellie Mae asked him, popping up over her partition like a meerkat.
Corey felt like he was missing out on some office in-joke. Hopefully they would be kind and let him in on it without too much ribbing.
“What interview?” he asked, genuinely not having a clue. Had something happened on the Kimmy Show?