His arm wrapped more securely around her waist, and his head dipped beside hers as he breathed on her neck. “Assuming we’re not exhausted from tonight.”
“Got something special planned, do you?” They’d been furtively meeting in hotel rooms and crashing at each other’s apartments for more than two years. Raji knew most of his moves, probably. She liked all of them, but she knew them.
He whispered, “Come with me.”
Raji skipped along behind him, just tipsy enough from the wine to enjoy walking with him because it was fun. “Where are we going?”
“Do you know where we are?”
“Some nightclub.”
“Not just any nightclub,” Peyton said.
An enormous man with skin and hair the color of sable stood at the intersection of the next hallway. “Good evening.”
Peyton held out his phone to the man. “We have a reservation from twelve to three o’clock.”
Twelve to three? That was a long time for dessert or whatever. Raji stood and watched them.
The man took Peyton’s phone and inspected the screen thoughtfully. “Yes, you do. Come this way, sir. Welcome to The Devilhouse.”
Raji smiled and nodded, going along with it all. “Thanks!”
He led them through some very ordinary, office-looking hallways to a door. “It bolts from the inside, but we can get in if there’s an emergency. Have a nice evening, sir,” he nodded to her, “and ma’am.”
The guy walked away.
Maybe this was one of those hotel fantasy suites where it looked like they were underwater or on a deserted island or at the North Pole or something. That would be surprising.
Peyton opened the door. “After you.”
Raji strode into the room and stopped dead in her tracks. “Are you kidding me?”
Not a forest, not a harem, not an island or a heart-shaped red satin bed.
Nope, it was a medieval dungeon, complete with cases filled with an array of whips, a huge X in the corner to spread-eagle strap people to, and so many other frames and posts and things that looked like gym equipment but obviously, so obviously, weren’t. “Uh, Peyton—”
With a solid thunk, the door slammed behind her. Bolts clacked.
Raji whirled around.
Peyton towered above her, right above her, and she realized just how overwhelmingly tall he was, five inches taller than she was even though she was wearing high, high heels. When a guy is a quarter of a foot over six feet tall, he looms over everyone, and the top of Raji’s head didn’t even clear his shoulder.
At five-seven, Raji was used to being one of the taller women around and eye-to-eye with a lot of men, even more so when she wore a little heel.
But, damn.
His Venetian half-mask was lying on the floor beside the door, and the light from the sconces flickered over his strong cheekbones and jaw.
She looked way, way up at him and said, “Yep, this is a surprise.”
Peyton grabbed Raji around her waist and whirled her against a wall. He grabbed both her wrists and pressed them over her head, and he bent. His mouth grabbed hers, sucking at her lips, and his tongue invaded her mouth.
She opened to him, melting where he held her and letting him kiss her more deeply.
He broke off. Energy and need and passion filled his blue-green eyes, and the wildness was like a bolt of electricity through Raji. It was practically a Pavlovian response, now. He looked at her with lust in his eyes, and she went wet between her legs.
Peyton asked her, “Do you trust me?”
She had no other thought in her entire body. “Yes.”
“In here, you’re mine tonight.”
“I’m always yours,” she said.
He smiled, a hungry, wolfish smile. “You need to choose a safeword, something that you will say if you want me to stop, something specific and unusual.”
“Hemorrhagic stroke,” Raji said.
Damn, that was too much on her mind.
“And something to say if you want me to slow down, to back up, to let you breathe a bit, metaphorically.”
“Only metaphorically?” she clarified.
“I’m not into breath play,” he said. “Too limiting.”
“Okay, I didn’t even know that was a thing, but all right. How about ischemic stroke?”
“Good. So ischemic stroke is our ‘yellow’ word, and hemorrhagic stroke means ‘stop.’ We are agreed?”
“Yes,” Raji said. “Hemorrhagic stroke and ischemic stroke.”
“Good.” He stepped back, and she almost stumbled. “Take off your clothes.”
Raji complied, hanging her black dress over a thing composed of bars and padded seats that she had no idea how one or two people would sit on.
When she looked up, Peyton had stripped to the waist, baring his broad chest and the flat stones of his abs. His black slacks hung on his narrow hips. Matching Nordic armband tattoos ringed his biceps. More tattoos like woven ribbons emblazoned with runes crawled over his shoulders and pectoral muscles.
He said, “Everything. The mask, too.”
Raji shimmied out of her pantyhose and her black underwear and bra. She laid the silver filigree mask on top of it all, the crystals glittering in the light.
“Now you kneel,” he said. “You sit back on your heels, your hands clasped behind your back.”
Raji did as she was told, trying to look graceful, but her legs and back were sore from standing over back-to-back-to-back surgeries the last few days. That’s the problem when you’re a fucking good surgeon: the higher-ups assign you the harder cases because, most of the time, you won’t kill the patient.
Most of the time.
Raji’s feet ached, and she tried not to think about yesterday’s ten-hour surgery at all.
Peyton was watching her, one eyebrow down. “Are you all right?”
“Fine, now that I’m here with you.” She would make it so.
He walked around her. “All right. Shoulders back, chin up—”
Raji did her best.
“—spine straight, eyes down.”
Before she looked down at her knees, she saw Peyton select a riding crop from an umbrella stand full of them.
The riding crop was a whole new level of kinky in their relationship.
Raji breathed more evenly. She wasn’t sure where this was going, but a small part of the back of her brain noted that all her attention was currently focused on the fact that Peyton was holding that slim, black whip and not anything else.
Leather touched her chin, pressing up, and Raji let her chin lift an inch.
Peyton said, “Better.”
She concentrated on sitting up straight and holding in her stomach.
He caressed her hair as he walked by, a gentle stroke that soothed her.
Raji closed her eyes.
“This is called presenting,” Peyton said. “You present yourself to me this way.”
She nodded.
“It indicates that you are submitting to me,” he said.
Raji nodded again.
“It means that you are mine. I can do anything I want to you, whatever pleases me, unless you say one of your safe words.”
She nodded. Yes, oh yes.
“You should say, ‘I submit.’”
“I submit,” Raji said, not even hesitating.
Peyton ran his knuckles under her chin. “Good girl.”
Raji knew that this was all a game, but she wanted desperately to play it.
He said, “Take my hand.”
She glanced up. Peyton’s left hand dangled right in front of her, ready to help her up.
The suggestion was that she needed him even to stand up, that she was so weak and helpless that she couldn’t stand on her own two feet without him helping her.
And he was right. At least for that night, he was all too right.
Raji slid her fingers into his, and he lifted her hand, steadying her, as she climbed to her feet.
Calluses from th
e steel strings of the bass guitar hardened his fingertips.
Peyton said, “It pleases me to tie you up, to restrain you so that I can touch you however I wish.”
She nodded, even though she was pretty sure that she didn’t have to because everything should be allowed unless she said a safe word. That’s how the books showed it, anyway.
“Good girl.”
Her face warmed at his praise, silly as it was.
Peyton led her over to two posts bolted to the ground. Black loops were welded to the steel pillars that stretched over her head.
“Stand between them. Hold these loops.” He touched one of the loops just below her shoulders.
She wove her fingers through the cold steel.
Holding onto the bars felt like she was even less in control, less responsible.
Peyton stood right behind her. Warmth from his bare chest rolled off his skin onto her back. “If you let go, I will tie you to the stakes.”
Raji dropped her hands to her sides.
Peyton lifted one of her arms, a careful, slow move, and bound her wrist to the loops with a cord so soft that it felt like silk. She watched as he did the other one. The loose loop around her wrist was secured with coils in an intricate knot that, if she pulled on it, would tighten the coils around the loop but not tighten the loop itself. That knot was tied so that there was no way it could cut off her circulation to her hand, an important safety consideration, especially for a surgeon.
She drooped, trusting that Peyton knew what he was doing.
“Feet by the stakes.” He tied her ankles, spread-eagle, to the posts with the same safety knots.
Raji was utterly vulnerable to anything he wanted to do to her, whether it was to fuck her up the ass or whip the skin off her back or something else.
She gripped the steel loops more tightly for balance.
Near her ear, Peyton whispered, “I want you to be silent. Whatever I do to you, don’t make a sound, or you will be punished. Nod to show me that you understand.”
Raji nodded.
His hand traced her ribs down to the curve of her hip, stroking her skin.
She let her head roll back and moaned.
The riding crop in Peyton’s hand flicked, and a sharp stripe stung her leg.
That brief flash of pain drove the guilt and grief entirely out of Raji’s head, a moment of bliss.
“No sounds,” Peyton whispered near her shoulder.
His hand slid around her hip and cupped her ass cheek.
Raji bit her lip, waiting.
The humid warmth of Peyton’s breath feathered over her neck and shoulder.
His other hand trailed up her ribs, and his fingers delicately traced the swell of the underside of her breast.
Her breath caught in her throat, almost a sound, but not quite.
His fingers stroked over her nipple, a gentle pinch. It tightened in his fingers, hardening, and he barely, lightly pinched her.
Raji gasped, “Ouch.”
Peyton backed away, his hands leaving her.
She braced herself.
A sharper slap this time, a slash across her buttock.
The bright pain drove everything out of Raji’s mind, a floating nirvana for an instant longer than the first one.
She gasped and held the rings more tightly.
After that, his hands caressed and tormented her, stroking her body and breasts and folds. With each new touch, each deeper stroke, she moaned or exclaimed, needing the flash of pain that gave her a moment of unthinking relief.
Peyton obliged, the riding crop giving way to a short, silk whip that lashed pain over Raji’s back.
She cried out, a scream of desperation when the grief and guilt came flooding back.
He said once, “Recite your safe words.”
She whispered, “Hemorrhagic stroke and ischemic stroke.”
“Do you want to use them?”
“No. I deserve this. Use me.”
The next lash over her back stung hard, surely deep enough to leave a welt.
Maybe a bruise.
She cried out, “Peyton!” and received another bite from the whip.
Through it all, he stood in front of her, kissing her between blows with his tongue coiling around hers, his hand grabbing her naked ass, and his fingers running over the raw welts on her back, more pain that chased thought from her head.
He stood behind her, stroking and squeezing her breasts and hips, stroking over her clit and into her core with his ridged and callused fingers, nearly bringing her to orgasm but backing off as she tightened on him.
The hard rod of his erection pressed against her ass through his pants.
In time, all the dark thoughts receded, and Raji pleaded with him, begging him to fuck her.
The whip stung her again, biting into her skin, and she cried out, the wave of annihilation washing over her.
Then he was fucking her from behind, his cock filling her core as he held her hips tilted back and shoved himself into her.
Raji cried out again, her orgasm building ever higher as Peyton stroked her clit with his thumb. He fucked her hard, his hips slapping the stinging skin on her ass.
“Harder,” she gasped.
Peyton pinched her clit and rammed into her, and the tight knot between her legs broke into pulses that flowed through her, cresting over her, and dragged her down as she sobbed.
Her arms fell, and she landed on her knees, reaching for Peyton.
His strong arms cradled her, holding her close to his broad chest. His heart thudded near her ear, and she huddled closer to him, cold and shaking.
He moved away from her. Raji clutched her knees. The drowning sensation was the same as if she had been at the bottom of a dark pit.
Somewhere a few feet away from her, Peyton whispered, swearing bitterly.
A blanket wrapped her shoulders, and she clutched it around herself even while she leaned against Peyton.
Tears flowed down her face, a release of the deep grief inside her.
Peyton held her in his arms, on his lap, and rocked Raji as she sobbed. He didn’t shush her or try to reason with her. His arms held her tightly as she cried great, wracking gasps and chokes, and he stroked her hair.
When she had let it all go, when the utter fatigue from crying had wiped her mind clean, he asked her, “Are you all right now?”
“Yeah,” she said, wiping her damp cheeks with the blanket. “Better.”
“I’ve never seen you cry before.”
“I don’t cry. Ever.”
“All right, then we won’t go there. Who was it?”
“His name was Leonard Yates.”
“What happened?”
“Massive stroke. Massive hemorrhagic stroke. On my table. Under my knife.”
“There’s no way you could have known, and he knew the risks going in.”
“Yeah, I know, and I know that hemorrhagic strokes usually are caused by weakened or malformed blood vessels, and it would have gotten him at some point, anyway, but damn. He was only forty-six. He should have gone home to his kids.”
Peyton held her for a while longer, and then he cleaned her up in the small bathroom adjoining the dungeon and dressed her, except for her panty hose. She shoved those in her purse.
“I have a hotel room for the night,” he said. “Let’s go.”
Raji sat in the passenger seat, still blissfully numb, and Peyton held her in his arms while she slept that night.
Peyton's Music
RAJI was awakened the next morning by a woman’s voice in the other room of the hotel suite. A service lady was thanking Peyton with a high, surprised note in her voice.
Peyton regularly overtipped any staff they ran into, from car rides to room service to bellhops to baristas. If she hadn’t heard squeals of delight when someone left, she might have taken his temperature and looked down his throat to make sure he wasn’t deathly ill.
She wandered out to the living room of the hotel suite, where Pe
yton was pouring steaming coffee from a carafe into cups.
The scent of blessed, blessed coffee filled the air so strongly that Raji inhaled deeply and tasted the roasted aroma on her tongue.
She rubbed her eyes. The welts on her back stung, and she loved it. “What time is it?”
“Nine-thirty. Since your flight isn’t until three, I figured we could sleep in a bit.” Sunlight from the wide hotel window glistened on his blond hair, and he looked like a young, golden sun god who had somehow appeared in a hotel suite in the Southwestern US.
The couches and living room set were creamy white, while the dinette set was upholstered in pale blue canvas. Basically, it was as formal as one got in the Southwest. Peyton often booked them a hotel suite with a kitchen and several rooms as if they were playing house. It was as close as they would ever get to living together, and Raji let herself enjoy the fantasy sometimes.
She wandered over and lifted a cover off of a plate to see what was for breakfast. “Oh, good. Egg white omelet and fruit.”
Peyton sat on the other side of the table. His plate held the same. “About last night—”
She shook her head. “I got a little emo last night, but I’m back to being a cold-blooded lizard person today. We don’t need to mention it ever again.”
“—it appears that we got too rough—” he continued.
“Hey, I’m not judging. It sure looked like you liked it, too. I absolutely consented to everything that happened, if that’s what you were worried about.” She dug her fork into her omelet.
“—and the condom broke,” Peyton said.
Raji’s whole body went numb, and her lifeless fingers dropped her fork. It clattered among the other silverware like crashing traffic. “What?”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you last night, but you seemed upset.”
“I wasn’t upset. I was fine.” Her fingers couldn’t seem to grab the skittering fork.
“Dr. Andy held mandatory seminars on sexual stuff for the band. From what I understand, there are some things we can do today, but talking about it last night wasn’t imperative. So it seemed okay to wait until the light of day to discuss it more rationally.”
“I am perfectly rational, and I was perfectly rational last night, too.” Raji’s heart fluttered. “Yeah. Andy’s right. I can do something about it today.”
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