Riva had stopped some distance ahead, sheltered by a blossoming branch overhanging the path. Kade shook his head at her as subtly as he could. Riva didn’t move. Kade motioned with a little more urgency, and Riva resumed walking until she was out of sight.
“Turani,” said the young man. “Do students need lockpicks?”
“I don’t know,” said the girl. “I think we should call this in.”
There was a moment of silence, broken by the shrilling of a bird in the trees above—a harsh, penetrating double-whistle. The agent licked his lips slowly. “You think it’s them?”
Callie yanked back her satchel, and the young man grunted as he instinctively gripped its straps. While he reeled off-balance, Callie shoved him in the chest, and he fell on his ass with a startled yelp.
Kade drew his revolver and flicked back the safety. “Don’t move.”
Ignoring him, Turani reached for her gun. Kade fired a single shot into the air. Several nearby students screamed, and the young agent on the ground cringed and covered his ears.
Impressively, Turani barely flinched, but she stopped short of drawing her own weapon. Instead, she raised her empty hands.
“Shit,” said Callie. “What do we do now?”
“First, take her gun,” said Kade. Callie took the pistol from Turani’s holster. “Talk to me, agent. Lachlan is on campus, isn’t he?”
Turani didn’t respond.
“You,” Kade said to the other agent. “Find your boss and tell him we have an agent hostage. He already knows my terms.”
The young man scrambled upright and sprinted across the lawn. Callie gave Kade an uncertain look. “What’s the idea?”
“We’re buying time. Keep that gun pointed at Agent Turani here while we move to a defensible location.” Kade singled out the long flagstone avenue that ended below the Medical building. “Move this way.”
Turani glowered at him. “You’re Kade August. Revolutionary Gazette. Aren’t you afraid of Commanding Agent Reed?”
Kade held her accusing gaze. Despite her defiant attitude, she was surely too young to be completely indoctrinated. “I’m not afraid of him, no. But you are. Tell me, don’t you ever get tired of living in fear?”
No reply, just the sullen silence he’d expected.
“Time to go,” he said. “Callie, keep her covered.”
Callie bit her lip. “But—”
“Uh-uh.” Kade raised his finger, and she fell silent. “Don’t worry about that. Things will work out.”
Of course, he had no way of knowing that to be true. He’d failed his promise to Lexi. Riva Latour was now on her own.
CHAPTER 27
Lexi lay on her bunk while trying to find pictures in the cracks and stains on the ceiling. Unfortunately, her imagination had flagged, and they looked like so many cracks and stains to her. Except for the blotch in the corner that looked like a spider, but there was a decent chance it actually was a spider, so it hardly counted.
An aggressive series of knocks jolted her back to reality.
“Come in.” The door inched open. “Hey, hot stuff.”
Amity sidled into the room and closed the door. “Zeke sent me to ask about your wellbeing.”
“He sent you? Why didn’t he come himself?”
“Because he was afraid that you might bite his head off.”
“And get spikes in the roof of my mouth? No thanks.”
The mattress sagged as Amity seated herself at its furthest end. She cupped her head in her hands. “Nikolas was also concerned about you.”
“Fuck him. He could at least have given Callie a machine gun.” Lexi sighed and sprawled back. “It’s stupid, you staying here to guard me. As if Lockie is going to bust out of a cupboard and snatch the chip right from my throbbing brain.”
“Do you trust Callie to take care of Riva?”
“Sure, I trust her. But the truth is, I’m worried about her too. The silly little smuggler thinks she’s an action hero.”
“She handled herself well this morning.”
“Yeah, but Lockie would still eat her whole. I’ve glimpsed a lot of minds in my time. Criminals. Psychopaths. Murderers. I even know what it’s like inside Vassago, all twists and turns.” Lexi closed her eyes, remembering. “Reed’s like that, but worse. That fucker chased me out of his head. Nobody has ever done that to me before.”
“He’s an unusual creature. He came to Sarabelle, Kade’s editor, around ten years ago, and claimed to have escaped from an enclave. He identified as a former member of Code Intel who’d been monitoring the Gazette and had been convinced by its oratory. He was persuasive. Charming. Deception is his gift. So they believed him.”
Intrigued, Lexi wriggled down the bed. “How long did he keep the act up?”
“Three years. He and Kade became friendly enough that Ash grew quite jealous. I never liked him, but I understand why Kade did. Reed considers himself a political moderate, and moderates have a weakness for timidity veiled as cynicism.”
“You read a lot, don’t you?”
“We all do down here. Education transforms us. And nobody was more educated than Reed. He knew Codism inside and out, and he made it seem absurd, something we could laugh at. It gave him a reputation as a morbid jester, somebody incapable of taking human suffering seriously, but he also wrote and spoke very well. He was witty. Incisive.”
“In other words, an asshole.”
“Some people would say the same about you.” Amity smiled, a sight Lexi would never get used to. “Kade defended Reed to the last. And it was Kade who persuaded us to protect you. That’s the kind of man he is. He lost his lover, his closest friend betrayed him, you abandoned him, yet he never gave up hope in humanity. He’s the most honest person I know.”
“I felt that way about him once. I even trusted him with my cousin.” Lexi couldn’t keep the emotion from her voice, though whether it was anger or grief, even she couldn’t tell. “You know how that ended.”
“That isn’t his fault and you know it. Apportion blame where it belongs.” Amity laid a hand on Lexi’s wrist. “Talk about the living. Tell me about Riva. I don’t fully understand her, but she tells me that you do.”
“I can’t talk for her. Only for myself.”
“Then tell me why it is that you understand.”
How ironic—Amity had unwittingly taken their conversation back to the subject they’d just abandoned. But what did it matter now? More likely than not, after today, Lexi would never see Amity again.
“I was once close to a trans man,” Lexi said. “Closer than I’ve ever been to anyone. And whenever he was called a woman, it hurt him in ways I couldn’t bear to watch.” Tears were suddenly on her cheeks, salting her lips. “I would have done anything to spare him that.”
“What happened to him?”
“I guess you might say we failed each other.”
Amity’s green eyes, usually so steely, took on a softer light. She stroked the back of Lexi’s hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I have my own secret. Something I’ve only told a few people. Including that stupid fucking Zeke. Another best friend who let me down.”
“He seems to be remorseful. Perhaps you should consider forgiving him.” Amity hesitated. “May I ask what your secret is?”
“It won’t make sense to you. Even so, I’ll tell you anyway.” Lexi fumbled for Amity’s fingers and squeezed them. “I don’t think I’m a woman or a man. I’m just Lexi. But there’s no way to express that. People see a butch woman or, sometimes, a pretty man. You can’t get them to see outside that binary. Not when they’re wired to think it has to be one or the other.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand, though I wish I did. You know, I once offered to help Riva obtain surgery. She refused. Yet most of her personal disappointments seem to have resulted from the…” Amity looked away. “The male part of her anatomy.”
“It’s not the male part of her. There isn’t a part of her that isn’t female, okay? Even
her fucking Y-chromosome is female.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Gender is like love, okay? It’s a human concept, a way of talking about pheromones, hormones, whatever. But because it’s not real doesn’t mean you can choose not to fall in love. And when your heart is broken, that’s as fucking real as anything in life ever gets.”
“Having never been in love, I can’t comment.”
“I’ve been in love. It sucked.”
Amity shifted Lexi’s hand to her lap and clasped it tight. “I’ll tell you something in return. My own story. If you’re willing.”
“Please.”
“I was born in a rough district. Rougher than this.” Amity stared, unblinking, into the burning filament of the bulb overhead. “I lost my virginity when I was twelve. I told myself I’d consented to it. A lie to keep myself sane. At fourteen, I found myself in a gang, not as a member but as a girl to be passed around for sex. The day before I turned eighteen, the gang’s enforcer decided he didn’t want to share me. I was declared his exclusive girlfriend. Believe it or not, I was grateful.”
“Holy shit.” Lexi’s guts churned. “Amity…”
“Their speciality was prostitution, and my boyfriend kept the pimps in line. Being his property meant I was protected. For a few years, I kept my head down, gave him what he wanted, and tried to stay clean. I’d seen girls wrecked by the drugs they took to keep from breaking down. I found other ways to go numb.” Amity drew her hunting knife and held it to the light. “This was his knife.”
She turned the blade. Its cutting edge shone, almost as bright and hard as the gleam in Amity’s eyes.
“I had a day job serving drinks. One night I came home early to find him with one of his pimps. They had two girls with them. Until then, I hadn’t known they sold children.”
“God…”
“I ordered the girls to run, and I blocked my boyfriend’s path while they escaped. He was furious. He pushed me into a wall, slammed me against it while screaming. So I took this knife from his belt and gutted him. Then I killed the pimp. And with the knife’s tip, I carved my name into their foreheads. I wanted the gang to know it was me.”
Amity ran a fingertip down the knife’s back. “The gang hunted me. I killed three more. Others joined in the hunt. It didn’t matter. Nobody could stop me. Killing had become a way to cleanse myself. I’d been granted a bloody purgatory, and I didn’t want it to end.”
“Nikolas told me you’d murdered someone, but…” Lexi gave a nervous laugh. “Let’s just say he left out the finer details.”
“He was the one who took me in. At that time, he was only a lieutenant in Open Hand. The others didn’t want me. They thought I was an animal. But he convinced them I was a victim deserving of their help and, under his wing, I found my bloodlust cooling. He rewarded me with responsibilities and my education.”
After a final wistful glance at its edge, Amity sheathed the knife. “Even so, I never did become human again. I can kill and not feel a thing. Death is all I know how to give a person.”
“That isn’t true. You saved Riva.”
“It wasn’t really a conscious decision. It was instinct. I’m nothing but an impulse, an unthinking reflex toward violence. Reed called me a rabid dog, and it’s true. Nikolas holds my leash. Without him, I’d go back to what I know.”
For some time, they sat in silence. Amity stared at their joined hands while Lexi studied Amity’s face. Despite all her suffering, there was still plenty of beauty in her tired features.
“I couldn’t understand why I enjoyed it so much,” Amity said. “I watched you between my legs, and it thrilled me. Ever since that moment, all I can think about is your mouth. Your eyes.”
With a delicate touch, Amity cradled Lexi’s face. “I was confused, because I’d never been attracted to women. Now I understand you aren’t a woman. Nor a man. You’re neither, and you’re beautiful.”
Lexi kissed her. Amity responded with intensity, forcing Lexi to the bed and pushing her tongue deep into Lexi’s mouth. Stunned into limp submission, Lexi shivered as Amity kissed, nibbled and bit toward her ear.
“I was afraid of being intimate again.” Amity’s breath was soft, heated. “But you’re nothing like the men who hurt me.”
Watching Amity undress was like being witness to the unveiling of a mighty goddess. Her shoulders were broad, her arms powerful, her chest muscular. Fine veins decorated her large breasts, and her torso was marked by numerous scars. A few burn marks too. She bent over Lexi to kiss her again.
“I want to make it better.” Lexi murmured the words while nuzzling Amity’s cheek. “I don’t want you to suffer the way you do.”
Amity stared back. Her blonde, shaggy mane shadowed her face, but her emerald eyes remained brilliant and penetrating.
“I don’t expect you to agree to this.” Amity’s voice was soft, but that hint of danger remained—a tension in her face and muscles, suggestive of someone always ready to strike. “But all my life, I’ve longed for somebody to know what they did to me. To understand why I have to fight. To kill.”
“Okay.” Lexi touched Amity’s cheek. “Show me.”
As their minds met and Lexi felt the first traces of alien thought and feeling, Amity trembled. “I feel it again. A chill in my spine.”
No time to wonder about that now. Lexi drifted through the uppermost layer of Amity’s mind—lust, anxiety, the blazing anger that was always there—and into her recent memories. The shame of defeat. Fury at Reed. Fear for Riva…
Deeper now, memories of blood and injury, killing and survival. Cutting, beating, breaking. Everyone faceless as they died. Her name carved into an anonymous forehead, drawn in lines of split, bleeding flesh. AMITY.
Lexi had never gone this deep into anyone before. Opaque as mist, hard as diamond, a blur of resentments, pains, losses. She was being dragged around, spat on, screwed. Cutting herself. Burning herself. The other girls were faceless. The men who abused her were faceless. All but him, the first life she’d ever taken, a ghoul whose face was a knife wound. Even as he raped her, there was no face, just a wound…
Her anger surfaced like a beast breaking from water, a killer baying as it was birthed from a cold sea. She no longer cut herself but cut them instead, abused their flesh to show them how it felt, stood in the spray of their blood and imagined it to be rain. Cleansing their filth from her skin. Washing her pure.
Such solace as she’d never known. A gift tied up in ribbons of flesh.
Lexi became disoriented, her own thoughts fleeing from the phantoms of Amity’s mind. She began sobbing. It was dark, she was lost…
As if vision and reality had blurred, as if the implant had glitched, bloody letters were carved on Amity’s forehead. She was branded by her own name. Marked by the knife she couldn’t let go.
Lexi blinked, and the letters disappeared. “I saw.” She wiped her eyes. “I understand.”
Amity released a long breath, and her shoulders sagged. She lifted Lexi in her strong arms and, with a soft touch of her lips, kissed away Lexi’s tears.
* * *
Amity fucked with enthusiasm, gripping tight enough to leave crescent marks in Lexi’s skin, kissing with such force that Lexi’s lips came away stinging. At times, she showed hints of tenderness—a sensitive touch here, an unexpectedly loving caress there—but mostly it was like having sex inside an active washing machine.
After a bout of especially vigorous grinding, it became clear Lexi needed to finish the encounter if she were to escape serious bruising. She cupped Amity’s pussy, pressing hard, and Amity gasped. Lexi slipped a finger inside while rubbing her thumb against Amity’s swollen clit.
One final convulsion later, Amity shuddered and went limp.
Lexi nestled close, still held in Amity’s arms. Sex was one thing, but sharing a lifetime of trauma was more than she usually signed up for. There would be no forgetting those images of fear and blood.
Yet Lexi had n
o regrets.
She still brings me my pills and watches over me. My guardian angel.
“Was Ash really your best friend?” said Lexi.
“Yes. But I didn’t know she had such an attractive cousin.”
Lexi smirked. “Keep that up. So what did you two do for fun?”
“We got drunk. I had to carry her home more nights than I can count.”
“She could put them away, that’s for sure. Did you notice how after five or six, she’d only seem tipsy, but then she’d have one more and keel over? One second, chatting away, the next, face down on the floor.”
They laughed, and Amity cuddled closer, her fingertips drifting up and down Lexi’s side. “She never once mentioned you.”
“I told her not to introduce me to her revolutionary friends. I hated you all for taking her and Kade away from me. If only she could see us now, fighting shut-ins and fucking our brains out.”
“A perfect existence. Are you so sure you want to leave?”
“I’m not staying in Foundation if it means getting wiped. I know how that feels. I’ve done it to other people. And I feel sick whenever I think about it.” Lexi touched the tip of Amity’s nose. “Snuggle me?”
The entire city was hunting Lexi, and everyone from Kade to Vassago had told her she stood no chance of survival. Yet as she lay on tangled, sweaty sheets, her head on the breast of her watchful angel of vengeance, Lexi felt an impossible conviction.
Right now, in these arms, she was safe.
CHAPTER 28
Even in a week filled with impossibilities, the sound of gunfire on campus seemed too shocking to be true. Mineko ran to her window and leaned out. Silence. Had she imagined it?
The first scream was followed by a distant uproar. Propelled by a jolt of fear, Mineko dashed out of the room and down the corridor. Several students stood in the hall, engaged in excited babble.
“Mineko!” A student stepped into her path. “What’s going on?”
Mineko stumbled to a stop, barely avoiding knocking the younger woman over. “Why should I know?”
“Because you’re Mineko Tamura.”
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