by Alicia Best
I’d never been very eloquent with texting. I much prefer face-to-face speaking, even over phone calls. Something about using my cell feels stiff and distant. Although I don’t expect him to answer immediately, a second later, my phone buzzes and his message flashes across the screen. I’d been nervous about just what kind of reaction to expect, but his message is simple and makes a faint smile cross my face.
About time, boss man! Already on the move.
Of course, I will backpay them for the days that I’d kept them away. And I’ll make sure there’s a nice addition as a Christmas bonus. Hopefully, it would show them just how sorry I am for almost ruining Christmas in Shady Piers.
Shaking my head, I drive into town.
To my surprise, the people are scurrying about. The snow has stopped for now, but the shops all have wide open doors and the tourists still flock from shop to shop. The committee’s plan to come together seems to be working well so far.
Calla is waiting outside when I get there. Though the two of us have had little direct communication, I recognize her immediately. She waves, bouncing up on the balls of her feet with muted excitement.
“We’re so thrilled that you’re willing to speak with us. Come on in.”
“Actually, there’s just one thing that I really want to say,” I start, trailing after the hyper woman as she guides me through the community center. She doesn’t stop to listen, just waves for me to keep following.
I have to tell them to get the tree so they can start preparing for the ceremony.
Inside the center, they’re setting up a few games like ring tosses on Santa Claus hats and apple bobbing. Things that hopefully I can convince them to send over to the tree farm where the kids can play while the families are tree shopping during the annual sale. I’d texted Trevor again to spread word that the Christmas-tree lighting was back on.
Something is settling and swelling inside me, something familiar that I didn't think I’d ever feel again after Gail had told me that Jamie wouldn’t be with me for the holiday. It’s holiday cheer, plain and simple, and a belief that everything is going to be all right.
“If you’ll just step in here.” Calla grins, throwing open a door and all but pushing me inside.
“Uh, okay,” I sputter, catching myself before tripping over the soft carpet of the room off one of the community center’s halls.
Though the office is small and there are a few others in here, the first thing I notice is Gail.
“I don’t know why you need my input on the games,” she says before glancing over her shoulder at the commotion of my arrival and spotting me.
She whips around, eyes wide and angry. “What are you doing here?”
“I…the tree…” I mumble, just as dazed as she is.
“He’s here for the same reason you are,” Hannah says, stepping forward from where she’s beside another woman, the other organizer of the festival. Hannah gazes between my ex-wife and me and nods once.
“You two will settle your differences once and for all.”
Chapter 11
Hannah
“What in the world is this about?” Gail asks, grabbing her purse off a nearby chair and slinging it over her shoulder. “I am not having this discussion right now. It can wait until after the holidays.”
“It can’t,” I hiss, “because by then it’ll be too late. This needs to be something that we take care of now.”
“Who are you to tell me what I have to do?” Gail retorts, glancing over at Jackson, who’s stunned into silence. “Did you put her up to this? I can’t believe you. You’re willing to stoop to any low, aren’t you?”
“No,” I interrupt before Jackson can take too much heat. I need to get us down to business right away. There’s only so much daylight left in this Christmas Eve. “Jackson had no idea that I was going to get the two of you here today. All I want is for you to tell each other how you feel. You’re refusing to communicate, except for lashing out at each other, and it will affect your son.”
Gail sighs with exasperation. “With all due respect, Hannah, you’re not a parent. I thought I made that clear before. You don’t know how complicated these things are, and this is not something that should be handled this way. All I want is what’s best for my son.”
“I know, Gail, and that’s all Jackson wants too. And I may not be a parent, but my parents are divorced. It was so hard on me to be caught in the middle. Even though you’re trying not to do that to Jamie, with the way you two are behaving, it will be just as difficult on him as it was on me.
"It doesn’t have to be that way.”
The woman purses her lips, glancing at Jackson and then at me again. “I’m not changing my mind. I don’t care if Jackson never gives the town a Christmas tree again. I want to spend the holiday with my boy.”
“Just so that you know,” Jackson begins, shrugging his broad shoulders. “I already changed my mind. I have a tree marked back at my farm for the town to have. I’m sorry. That’s why I’m here today.”
“What?” I gasp in disbelief.
Even though I’d never given up hope that Jackson would come around, when I had heard nothing from him yesterday, I'd believed the worst. But I never should’ve doubted him.
Maddie lurches forward from behind me, staring at Jackson. “You’re letting us have a tree for the lighting ceremony?”
“My crew is already back at the farm, prepping for our annual sale. If you get the hauler out there, then they’ll get you all set up. Talk to Trevor; he’s in charge while I’m gone.”
“Thank you, Jackson,” Maddie cries, running up to him and throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hug before sprinting out the door to make sure the tourists know of the last-minute change.
Gail bites her lip, arms folding. Though I can see her look has softened, her jaw remains clenched. It almost makes me laugh how similar both Gail and Jackson are. They’re both so headstrong and so devoted to Jamie. If they’d work together, that boy would know they cherished him every Christmas for the rest of his life, with or without presents or festivals or tree lightings.
“That still doesn’t mean I’m changing my mind,” she begins again, sounding much less sure about it.
Like Jackson, she is terrified of losing her son. I can’t imagine how hard it must be on the two of them to split time with him.
“No one is asking you to,” I tell her, avoiding Jackson’s wounded look in my direction. “All that I’m asking you to do today is be honest with one another for the first time in. . .well. . .ever?”
“We were always honest enough,” Gail says.
“If that’s the case, then why doesn’t Jackson know the real reason you’ve changed your mind about Jamie being with him this holiday?”
Gail pales, hugging her arms closer to her chest. She doesn’t want to admit how hard it’s been on her to never have a Christmas morning with Jamie, just like Jackson doesn’t want to admit that it’s been hard on him never to have other holidays with his son.
“It’s Donny, isn’t it?” Jackson says, rolling his deep brown eyes. “You have a brand-new family now, and you want to push me out as much as possible.”
Redness returns to Gail’s irked cheeks. “Come on, Jackson! You think I would do that?”
“I don’t know what you’d do,” he snaps. “You’re taking Jamie away on the one holiday that I have him.”
The two glare at each other from across the room, the conversation growing heated and not at all fruitful. This isn’t working as well as I was hoping it would, even though I’d been anticipating some difficulty. I’d been so sure that once I just got them in a room together that they would come around to reason. I can feel my teeth clenched tightly as my mind churns. If they could just see how much they each care for Jamie and how much this will come to affect him, there’s no way they would continue to lash out at one another. They got along once, even though it was a fragile relationship, but underneath all of their wounds and doubt, I am sure that there is a strong foun
dation to be unearthed if we could all just put our heads together and dig for it.
“Okay, you two,” I blurt, trying to stop the impending explosion between the two parents. “Step back and take a breath and just try and hear each other out. We’ll take turns okay—take a minute each? I can mediate this for you.”
“This is ridiculous,” Gail huffs at the same time Jackson shakes his head and announces he’s had enough.
“Wait!” I cry out. “Don’t leave yet!”
Despite my pleas, the two head towards the exit of the room.
Before either of them can escape, the door to Maddie’s office swings open. Calla and Donny both stand there, looking frazzled as Jamie bounds into the office.
“Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!” the young boy calls out, running up and looping his arms around both of them in a tight hug.
The two parents are tugged close together, though they both lean away like even so much as a single touch would be painful. They exchange a strained glance but hug their child back.
“I kept him occupied as long as we could,” Calla explains. “But he glimpsed his dad walking through the hall and wanted to go over.”
Donny looks bewildered, uncertain about what’s going on. Still, he stays a respectful distance away, sensing that Jackson and Gail are having a much-needed conversation.
“Dad, did you see what Maddie and Calla have put outside? They set up the ice-skating rink! Isn’t that awesome?”
Jackson’s face twists, his fingers rubbing at his stubbled chin. “Oh, yeah?”
“Can we all please go skating together. Please, please, please!” Jamie says, clinging to both his mom and dad.
Gail and Jackson exchange a look of begrudging acceptance, knowing full well that neither one of them wanted to tell the young boy no. How would they explain to their child that they couldn’t spend time together because of a disagreement? No matter how they worded it, Jamie would see it as his own fault that they no longer could ice skate as they always had. I know, because I went through a period of blaming myself during my parents’ divorce. Fortunately, Gail and Jackson seem aware enough of the problem, and I don’t have to intervene.
“I guess it’s kind of a tradition,” Jackson says, looking at his ex-wife, who gives a subtle nod, though she looks no more happy about it than Jackson.
“And this time, I want Hannah and Donny to come too!” Jamie adds to his demand. “We’ll have so much fun together. We have to hurry though, or the line will start getting long.”
“I figured you guys should be the maiden voyage on the ice,” Calla says with a bright grin. “Break it in before everyone else joins in.”
“I don’t know,” Gail says, tripping over her words, but Donny smiles at her.
“If that’s what the kid wants, I don’t see the harm.” Donny looks at Jackson quickly. “I mean if it’s okay with you.”
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Jamie asks in confusion, looking between Donny and myself and his parents. “Can’t we all be together today? It’s Christmas Eve. Family is the most important thing today.”
Gail strokes her son’s face, nodding in agreement. Every argument she’d been preparing would be of no use against Jamie.
Jackson turns towards me, his eyebrows lifted. “Would you like to join us, Hannah?”
I smile at him, uncertain if the warmth on my cheeks was because of the heating in the community center or because I’m blushing. “That would be great.”
Jackson runs a hand through that near-black hair, his entire face mystified. “Then…I guess it’s settled.”
We head outside to where the rink has been set up just beyond the community center walls. Though they hadn't planned on having ice skating since the tree lighting had been canceled, I’d convinced Maddie and Calla to put it back into motion. I’d spent time myself helping to set it up. Maddie had been hesitant when I told her my plan about getting Jamie’s parents both here at one time so we could sort things out, but Calla was so enthusiastic about it that Maddie had little chance but to agree, especially if the tree lighting might be back on track.
Calla approaches me as I’m picking out my skates, nudging me in the ribs.
“Have you told Jackson yet?” she whispers under her breath. “About what happened with the article.”
I glance over at the tree farmer, who is helping Jamie find skates in his perfect size, the pair laughing together.
“I haven’t. I’ll do it when the time is right. I don’t know what he’ll think of my decision.”
Calla nods and gives me a soft smile before heading back into the nearby building to iron out the details of the rest of the festival.
We all get our ice skates from the renting station and head to a few benches to put them on. After putting his own pair on with ease, Jamie kneels by my feet and helps me lace up mine.
“You want to get it tight,” he explains, “or else you’re going to fall right on your face. Dad did that last year, and it was so funny. Mom couldn’t stop laughing.”
I look over at the two parents, noting that despite the tale of their delight, they just sit side by side now, each working on their laces like their lives depended on it.
“They got me the wrong size,” Gail sighs.
“I’ll get them for you,” Donny says with a smile, glancing at me and jerking his chin towards the ice. “Jamie, why don’t you give Hannah a quick lesson while your parents sit back here for a second?”
“Sure, Donny!” Jamie chirps, eager to get out onto the rink.
My brows lift in surprise as Donny winks at me, hiding a grin.
I’d never expected Donny to be a helper in my scheme. I turn a small smile of appreciation in his direction, with more thanks than I can express, before nodding and climbing to my feet. I head towards the ice, clinging to the side of the makeshift rink while Jamie glides about and gives me pointers.
Though I can no longer hear what Jackson and Gail are talking about, I have hope that this moment alone may be just what the pair needs.
With any luck, our Christmas magic will continue.
Chapter 12
Jackson
Traditional Christmas music floats from speakers set around the rink, attracting groups of people onto the ice. Their laughter drowns out the music as Gail and I watch Jamie tug at Hannah’s hand, trying to help her skate across the ice. I doubt she had a chance for much ice skating back in California.
She stumbles but does well as long she keeps her other hand on the rink fencing. She’s doing way better than I did as a kid anyway. I can’t help the small smile that curves my mouth as I watch her. She looks over occasionally at Gail and me, though she mostly focuses on Jamie. Donny is taking a long time getting Gail properly fitting skates. When I glance towards him, he pretends not to notice me.
The two are working together so that Gail and I have some time to ourselves.
It doesn’t feel so strange to sit next to my ex-wife. We’ve always been cordial and respectful to one another, and before we married, we were very close friends. That’s why we ended up going through with a wedding. Neither of us knew what love was, but supposed a friendship was enough. It was afterwards that we discovered just how wrong we were. There’s no real love here between us and probably never has been, but this recent bad blood is unexplainable in light of how close we once were.
“Hannah said something to me the other day,” I recall, drawing Gail’s look to me. “She said that I tend to push people away. She made it sound like I curl up into myself when people try to get close.”
Gail laughs before shivering and pulling her coat closer around her. “That’s true. Throughout our whole marriage, I never felt like I ever really knew you. I couldn’t talk to you when there was an issue because you’d be so defensive.”
“I didn't mean to be that way.”
“I was the same.” She shrugs. “I never saw that until today. And I know you would never do it on purpose. I think part of the reason we never connected on that level is just b
ecause we weren’t right for one another. It wasn’t just the lack of communication, it was the lack of…”
Love. Our hearts never spoke the same language. How did we ever expect to be on the same page? I suppose that’s the kind of knowledge that comes with experience, however. We had to live it to learn it, and now all that’s left is to apply the lessons in a way that makes us better people and better parents.
I don’t miss the way her eyes shift towards Donny while she speaks, her face softening. She never looked at me like that, but I’m not jealous. In fact, I’m happy for her. Gail is a good person despite what’s happened. She deserves love and joy.
“Hannah talked to me too,” Gail continues after a moment. “I didn't want to hear it.”
“I had that same reaction,” I chuckle.
Gail smiles, the gesture more natural now. “She told me that Jamie would be caught in the middle if you and I couldn’t find a compromise. It was so difficult to have someone say that to me, to tell me that there were ways I could improve as a parent even though I try so hard to do my best now. I wanted to block out every word she said.”
“But Hannah’s right, isn’t she?”
Gail grimaces but nods.
I sigh, making sure my laces are tied properly. “I mean, a compromise doesn’t sound good to me either…but Jamie needs both of us in his life, and he needs us both on the same side. His side.”
Again, she nods her head. I know this isn’t easy. I know that it’s every bit as hard for her to share Jamie with me as it is for me to do the same with her. But love is putting that person before yourself, isn’t it? It’s doing what’s best for the one you love no matter how much it hurts you. Jamie deserves that from the both of us.
She shifts so that she’s looking right at me.
Her hands are folded in her lap, thumbs fidgeting and tapping together like they always did when she was anxious or uncomfortable. I pat her hand to still her. It isn’t an especially affectionate action, but one that I always did just to show her that I was here for her. I am still here for her as the mother of my child. She bites her lip, shaking her head.