Finally, he shifted and he saw the fear in Alanna’s eyes when she shifted back. She shivered and he frowned, rubbing her arms. She wasn’t dressed for the bitter cold.
“You need a coat,” Nathan said. He took off his own parka and helped her put it on. It felt strange to talk about something so mundane considering everything, but Alanna leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her.
“I couldn’t bring mine with me,” Alanna said, her teeth chattering. “John was watching me. I didn’t want him to see me leaving.”
“Right. Listen, we need to talk,” Nathan said. “I know a place out here. We can get warm.”
“What if John finds us?” Alanna sounded breathless and panicked, her eyes teary as she stared at him.
“I’ll take care of John,” Nathan said. “Come.”
He slung his arm around her and led her through the snow eastward, following some short cut through a tight cluster of trees and shrubs and around an outcropping of boulders where a small cabin appeared, half-hidden by the trees. It was more like a shack and nothing you’d want to live in, but it was warm enough as Nathan led her inside, shutting the door behind him. It was obviously kept up regularly, with a comfily made bed, a rug on the floor, counter space stocked with canned food, a table, and a couple of chairs.
“This is just a place we keep to hang out,” Nathan said. “Like if we’re on a run and we feel like shifting back for a bit but we don’t feel like going all the way back home. We let our neighbors use it too as long as they keep it clean.”
“It’s nice,” Alanna murmured. Nathan left her by the door and brought her a thick blanket folded at the foot of the bed, helping to wrap it around her. She smiled softly at the small gesture.
“I think we have a lot to talk about,” Nathan said darkly. They exchanged a knowing look as he led her to the bed and sat her down, squeezing her shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “But there’s something I have to tell you before anything else.”
Alanna waited and sat back against the wall. Nathan puttered around the cabin. He filled a propane kettle up with water and fired it up and brought her an energy bar from his small pantry, correctly assuming she must be hungry. When the water was boiling, he poured her a cup of lemon and ginger tea with some honey and when she drank it, she sighed in relief. It felt somehow so familiar to Nathan, even as Alanna said she’d never been a big tea drinker but liked the lemon ginger.
“What is it?” Alanna said. Nathan grew a small fire in the cabin’s fireplace and then sat down next to her, sighing heavily. “Just tell me. I certainly have a lot to tell you anyway.”
“I know who you’re afraid of,” Nathan said tightly. He clenched his fists in his lap, staring straight ahead. “I know his name is Rawley and that he’s from Utah. I had my brother look up John. He’s good at digging shit up about people. I know Rawley goes around pillaging from lone bears and looking for vulnerable sleuths. I know because I used to run with him. We used to be...friends.”
Alanna fumbled with her mug in her shock and Nathan reached out, righting her cup before she could drop it. She stared at him and Nathan grimaced, shame overwhelming him. He clenched his fists.
“You were friends?” Alanna said. “With Rawley?”
“A long time ago,” Nathan said firmly. “It was when I ran off on my own. I thought whatever I could get on my own would be better than what I’d find with my brothers. I was restless and I felt invincible, I guess. For a while, it was fun. It was lonely too but I told myself I was better by myself, without family to stop me from doing whatever I wanted. Then I met Rawley.”
Nathan glared down at his own hands. Alanna wasn’t getting up and storming off or cowering in fear, but she wasn’t saying anything either. She just waited for him to keep talking.
“I should’ve known he was trouble,” Nathan said, sighing. “But whatever he is now, he wasn’t like that then. He would steal, he would start shit with anyone over anything. But he wasn’t going around hurting innocent people. The day he did, I left. But that’s all I did. I left. If I’d done more, if I’d stopped him, he wouldn’t have found you.” He took a breath and met Alanna’s gaze, speaking gravely. “I understand if you don’t trust me. I don’t know that I would either. But you have to let me help you. If something happens to you because of that asshole I could’ve stopped a long time ago I’ll… Please, Alanna. Please just let me. I’m sorry I ever knew him. I’m sorry I didn’t stop him before he could ever get to you or anyone else, but please...”
Alanna got to her feet and Nathan couldn’t help noticing how shaken she was, her hand trembling as she set her now empty mug on the table. She let her blanket drop to the floor as she marched to the door.
This is it, he thought. It was over. It was too much and she was going to leave.
“I don’t need you to save me,” she bit out. She braced her hands on the door, turned away from him and he felt like his heart was tearing in two as he watched her struggle with herself. “I don’t need you to… I don’t…” She burst into tears and he got to his feet, stalking over to her and wrapping his arms around her from behind. “I don’t need…”
“I’m sorry,” Nathan whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry I ever knew him. I wish I was just… I’m so sorry, Alanna.”
“I don’t need you!” Alanna said, gasping. But even as she said it, she leaned back against him, clutching his arms that wrapped around her. “I don’t...please…please…”
Alanna turned around in the circle of Nathan’s arms. Tears slid down her cheeks, flushed from the cold. Her lips were swollen and pink and he reflexively growled under his breath, his grip tightening around her. Her breath was short and her gaze moved to his mouth, her chest heaving as he held her.
“It...it doesn’t matter. I don’t care, I don’t care. Just be with me,” she breathed, taking off his parka and tossing it on the bed. “Just be with me, Nathan.”
Nathan covered her mouth with his, pressing her up against the door. His bear was riled up, pacing inside him. It had only been a notion he’s considered as a fantasy, but now he could feel its truth as he licked inside her mouth and she breathed his air, hold onto him for dear life.
They were mates.
He licked at her tongue, animalistic as his hands slid up her sides and then cradled her face. He wanted to mark her and make her his. He wanted to rip out Rawley’s throat for ever imagining he could hurt Nathan Strauss’s mate. He wanted it all so badly, he was shaking.
“What do you want?” he breathed in her ear. “Tell me. Talk to me.”
He kissed his way down to her throat and she reached up to press his hands against her for him as if guiding him. She closed her eyes. “Taste me,” she whispered. “Please…”
“Yes…” Nathan kissed all the way down her body. He unbuttoned her fly and unzipped her jeans as she panted and thrust her hips towards him. “Talk to me,” he whispered. “Tell me how it feels, tell me…”
He watched her even as he pulled her jeans down. She was flushed red and she licked her lips, her hands slipping under her own shirt to palm her breasts as he pulled her panties down.
“It feels…” Alanna spoke breathlessly and opened her eyes to look down at him. His cock jumped, swelling in arousal when they made eye contact just as he snuck a finger inside her, teasing her clit.
“Tell me,” he said again.
“It feels like I’m on fire,” Alanna whispered. She stripped off her own shirt and gently undid her bra, letting it slip off her arms to the floor. Nathan kissed the tops of her thighs and kept his eyes trained on her, watching arousal dilate her eyes as he teased her with his fingers and gently licked her wet mound. “It feels like…”
“Say it,” he whispered. Abruptly, he buried his tongue inside her and she cried out, throwing her head back and bucking her hips. Her taste was musky and sweet and he lapped at her, egged on by her cries as he circled her clit with his tongue. He pulled away and looked at her again. She was massaging her own breasts,
her mouth wide open as she looked down at him. “Say it,” he said again.
There was no question between them of what he meant. She knew. He could tell somehow as another tear slid down her cheek. She was shaking, on the precipice of bliss already and she whispered, “You’re my mate. And I’m yours. I’m yours.”
“Do you want me?” Nathan said. He slipped his fingers inside her, slowly stroking her, and she moaned. “Tell me.”
“Yes… I need you.”
“I thought you said you didn’t need me.” He was smiling as he said it. His cock ached for her, but he liked playing with her when she was like this, lost to bliss and crying because he was making her feel good and not because she was scared.
“I need you,” she whispered. “I need you to fill me. I need you to be inside me.”
He growled at that, shoving her jeans all the way down her legs. He got to his feet, unable to wait any longer. She kicked her jeans and her panties all the way off and stood naked before him. He looked her up and down and kissed her again, deeply and hungrily, claiming her. He stripped off his sweater and the shirt he wore under it and scrambled to unzip his fly, his throbbing, erect cock bouncing out and jutting toward her. He buried his face in her neck and picked her up off the floor, wrapping her legs around him before plunging into her as if they’d both die if he didn’t fill her soon.
Alanna wrapped her arms around Nathan’s neck as she let him give her everything, spearing her again and again.“Mark me,” Alanna cried. “Fill me...mark me...Nathan…”
“Yes, my love,” Nathan whispered. He pumped his hips, impatient to go ever deeper inside her as she clenched around him. He bowed his head and his blood was hot for her, every bit of possessiveness for his mate boiling up within him as he bared his teeth and lunged. He sank his teeth into the juncture of her neck and shoulder and she screamed as they rocked together, slick with sweat. Their connection as mates while he marked her made the walls of the cabin quiver around them.
It wasn’t over then. It wasn’t over for a while. The world disappeared around them. He picked her up and carried her over to the bed in the corner, tossing her down and standing back as his still hard cock jutted out and he looked at his mate with wild eyes, the mark he’d left on her shoulder still oozing blood.
“I need more,” Alanna said panting. She slid her hands up her body, slowly, as if taunting him. He nodded and licked his teeth and knelt on the bed, pushing her legs up. His mouth watered at the sight of her pussy bared before him, pink and swollen. He liked tasting her. He wanted to taste her again, but he would give her only what she wanted. Only what she needed. Him.
“Please,” Alanna whispered again. “Please be inside me.”
It felt as if they would never stop, Nathan thought to himself as he thrust inside Alanna and groaned. She was tight around him, the two of them fused, their breath mingling as he pumped his hips and she took him in, deeper and deeper.
“I need you,” she breathed, clutching his shoulders, licking the sweat from his skin. “I need you always… I need you…” He ducked his head and lapped at the few drops of blood seeping from his mark and when he reached down to finger her clit, she screamed, throwing her head back. As she met her bliss, it was as if they were one person. He kissed her again, swallowing her moans as he came inside her and she trembled around him.
“Don’t leave,” she whispered. “Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t.” He pulled out of her and when she whimpered at the loss of him, he kissed her shoulder. He embraced her as they caught their breath, sated and hazy in the aftermath.
They had to get moving, he thought immediately.
“I wish we could stay here,” Alanna whispered. She was hugging his chest, her leg thrown over him. The little shack was overly warm now, full of the heat they’d generated in the small space. Alanna laid soft kisses along his chest and said, “I’d stay with you forever.”
He smiled at that, the simple words music to his ears. “I thought you’d be so angry,” he admitted. “That I ever knew Rawley at all.”
“No… I know how it is,” she said softly. “To feel young and invincible. It’s easy to get wrapped up in something. But you left when he went too far. That’s more than a lot of guys would do. But I don’t blame you for any of it, Nathan.”
She hadn’t told him what he wanted with her to begin with and he kissed her forehead. “It’s time to face the music,” he said. He felt her tense up against him and he held her a little more tightly. “Tell me what he has on you. What does he want?”
“He wants me to be one of his wives,” Alanna whispered.
Nathan immediately felt a surge of possessiveness and he couldn’t help the slightly smug sense of satisfaction at having already marked Alanna.
“He has more than one?” Nathan muttered. “Jesus.”
“Yeah, he has a whole harem of mates,” Alanna said. “None of them willing brides either. I ended up at one of his big parties and he wanted me right away. He just grabbed me and knocked me out. I woke up in a cell.”
“I’ll kill this son of a bitch.” Nathan rubbed his eyes. He should have seen it, he thought for the hundredth time. “I shouldn’t have known Rawley was a man like that.”
“I escaped for a while and John tracked me down,” Alanna said, reaching up to play with Nathan’s fingers as they lay in bed. “He had me locked in his trunk for a while.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Nathan spat. He hadn’t intended on saying it aloud. But he was already thinking about it. Connor had John locked up in his office and Nathan knew Connor well enough to be absolutely certain that John wasn’t going anywhere any time soon even if Rawley did show up.
She kissed his shoulder in response. “I think he wants me so badly just because I don’t want him. He likes showing us who’s boss. All his wives, I mean.”
“I’m going to take him down,” Nathan said. “He’s never going to hurt you.”
“He has my brother,” Alanna said, sitting up a little. She played with his fingers as if just to fidget with something and keep her hands busy. “Otherwise I would have run before. But he has my brother, Alex. I know they’ve already hurt him. I would never have run but Alex wanted me to.” She broke into tears again and Nathan sat up, wrapping his arms around her. “I didn’t want to. I would never have…but we promised each other. I always thought it would be me in danger, telling him to go on and save himself. I always did, I never…but we promised…he said remember Crockett River and that’s how I knew. He wanted me to save myself. But I didn’t want to!”
“It’s okay,” Nathan whispered. “It’s okay, love. We’re gonna save him. Somehow. I promise you.”
When she had calmed down, Alanna whispered in his ear, “You’re my mate, no matter what happens. And I’m glad.”
12
Alanna
“Tell me about when you were a boy,” Alanna said. It was morning as they hiked back down the mountain.
They had fallen asleep in the cabin after all, their problems seeming miles away from the little cabin. In the morning, they’d shifted and gone to hunt and eventually, Nathan had convinced Alanna that she should return to the lodge with him. It was a frightening thought, but when she looked into his eyes, all she saw was the kind of strength that would keep them both safe and save Alex too. More than that, her shoulder was still sore from where he’d marked her and every time she felt that little bit of pain, she found herself smiling.
“When I was a boy?” Nathan said, squinting at her. He’d taken her hand in his and given her his parka too, insisting that he wasn’t cold.
“I just want to know more about you,” she explained. “I want to know everything about you.”
“I was a happy kid,” he said, shrugging. “I mean, I always had my brothers. We weren’t super close to my parents but they were good people, good bears. They passed away some years ago. Left us their fortune. The family goes way back. Old bear aristocrats. But they were pretty assimilated. Towa
rds the end, they really didn’t even shift much. I think that’s why my brothers and I weren’t very close to them. We were more bear and they were more human.”
“I think that’s bad for shifters,” Alanna said. “Anyway, I wouldn’t be able to live that way. Growing up, my brother and I lived as bears a lot of the time. You don’t need money…”
“Yeah,” Nathan said, nodding. “And you can live out in nature. It’s peaceful. I like my life running the lodge though. It’s kinda the best of both worlds. But then, we’re lucky. We always had money.”
“And we were dirt poor,” Alanna said. They were hiking down a steep hill and Nathan helped her climb down some rocks and led her through a shortcut in a crevice that saved them a couple of miles. When they’d climbed back up onto level land, Nathan took her hand again.
“It was still the same in a way,” Alanna went on. “My brother and I always had each other. We could always count on that.”
“Yeah,” Nathan said, nodding. “Like when I ran off when I was younger, I just left my brothers. But when I came back they just accepted me again. Especially Connor. That’s why I will always have his back no matter what. He’s always had mine.” He looked into Alanna’s eyes and said firmly, “And I will always have yours.”
“I know you’re a good man,” Alanna said, grimacing at the sight of the lodge at the bottom of their mountain, getting closer and closer. “And I believe you’re my mate because I can feel it. But…”
“But what?” Nathan whispered, letting go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist.
“You know how brutal he is.” Her heart was racing and it was uncomfortable in her chest. It thundered with the fear of whatever lay at the bottom of that mountain. “He fights dirty and he doesn’t care who he hurts. That’s why he always wins.”
Nathan (Strauss Bear Shifter Brothers 0f Colorado Book 1) Page 10